DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

19

Jul

Helena Christensen for RUSSH Magazine of the Day

Helena Christensen has hard nipples…and it’s a nice reminder of a better, simpler time, where she was a Victoria’s Secret model before Victoria’s Secret was played out, tacky, for basic ghetto bitches in every fucking mall. You know when they were catalog and innovative, sending jerk off material to homes everywhere without getting in trouble…

She must be 100 fucking years old in model years, and she’s probably seen a whole lot of dirty dirty things in her 75 year career, but she’s still got it going on…she’s Danish that isn’t Nina Agdal sensationalized dog shit that fucks A Lists….trying to make it…she’s Danish…that has made it…and still has it going on..

Posted in:Helena Christensen|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Sara Sampaio – Skinny Model in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Sara Sampaio is skinny…and uninteresting…in Mexico…where she probably won’t drink the water – but if she did, she’d probably die from the parasites she caught, after shitting out her insides because she’s skinny and has nothing to survive in a time of emergency…not that she shits, girls don’t shit, especially skinny girls…because we know the plus sized girls shit, all over the fucking place from all that eating, that they can pretend is just defense from the tropical trips they are forced to go on for their bikini model life…

Right?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Kate Beckinsale’s Bikini Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Kate Beckinsale may be old and I may hate old chicks – but she’s one of the few old chicks who is still magical….she’s a mom with a teenage daughter – yet she still looks like this – something you sometimes see leaving YOGA studios…but it’s rare….

Her body is thin, maybe it’s angles, maybe it’s good DNA, maybe it’s some science experiement gone right….maybe it’s being a rich kid, living the good life, experiencing very little stress in her life – but stress is relative, some of these bitches who have never starved don’t realize what starving is and breaking a nail causes life fucking breakdowns….but whatever it is is good…

I mean, we’re not looking at her stomach, or her ravaged vagina, so maybe this is tricking me and the nerds to keep on believing….and keep on believing I will do….but unfortunately, the reality of 40 year old women I fuck with is that they are not anything like this….and are a lot too fucking real but they aren’t Kate Beckinsale…

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Katrina Bowden’s Butt Shots in Vegas of the Day

No Comments »

Aspiring celebrities and aspiring models all struggle to have compelling social media, because jobs are all based on social media, so someone like Emily Rat Cow just goes full nude whore and has millions of followers, where someone like Katrina Bowden, who has been on TV and in movies, has almost less followers than my @drunkenstepfatherdotcom…because actors are lazy, especially women who are used to being spoon fed, and are really just puppets that don’t really deserve the jobs they’ve got, they just sort of happened…but she posted a bunch of butt shots because I guess she’s trying to find an angle to say “Hey, I could be Margot Robbie too, pervert dudes like me”….here’s her ass from a bunch of shots trying to find the right one…but the internet was there to pick it up…

Posted in:Katrina Bowden|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Victoria Justice Being Fed Booze in a Bathing Suit of the DAy

No Comments »

I call this series of pics “doing the Bill Cosby”…you know feed a girl a fruity, rummy, pina colada style drink…and 30 minutes later – finger bang the bitch and hope she doesn’t wake up or remember – because finger-banging a girl who is sleeping is RAPE – but they still get wet when you do it – because they’re drugged and don’t know better – but that’s not the point…the point is that this Victoria Justice, who was the main character of a show that Ariana Grande came out of – is in a bathing suit – probably questioning how it all went wrong for her….but that cunt on her show made it so big…very depressing for her, but she’s still a young starlet, in a bathing suit making that money….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Victoria Justice

2016

19

Jul

Toni Garrn Nipples for Madame Figaro of the Day

No Comments »

Toni Garrn is a top model, which means internation escort, but I’m sure her agency that rented her to LEONARDO DICAPRIO – doesn’t like to say that to anyone, because that would make them escort agency or pimps.

There is just such a fine line when you’re in the business of selling women based on their looks, height, weight, hair and eye color, like some vapid barbie doll being recruited to fill a void, or in some cases to be filled…usually for a lot of money – or by people with a lot of money.

It’s TRUMP’s favorite part of his business as a Modeling agency owner, something so many presidents before TRUMP have been into…but usually in a more discreet way…not that Toni Garrn is with TRUMP models, but she is a model, and she is modeling and there are nipples because that’s the direction she’s taking her career…magical…

Posted in:SFW|Toni Garrn

2016

19

Jul

Fat Olivia Wilde in the Kitchen Where She Belongs of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Wilde, better known as Olivia Cockburn, something that people have got mad at me for saying, even though it’s her fucking name, she’s just the kind of girl who rebrands herself knowing that Cockburn has limitations, especially to someone who has actually had his cock burn on more than one occasion, we call it Chlamyds in the inner circle….of STDs….something her belly and I guess her career clearly makes me think she’s very familiar with…

She’s in the kitchen with her worst kind of STD…ripping apart her body, but probably not her vagina, she’s already been there and many men have come and gone from there, that it’ll just crawl out of her eventually and she can go back to making shit movies.

Dudes like her, so here she is…

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Joanna Krupa Called the Paparazzi while She Pumped Gas of the Day

No Comments »

Joanna Krupa got her hair make-up done to pump gas into her R8….because she called the paparazzi to watch her pump gas with her hard nipples.

She’s that kind of hooker, not quite the Mrs Trump trophy wife kind of hooker, but rather a hooker still trying to find something that makes her not seem like a hooker – something legit – something authentic – because as a Polish immigrant – that’s extra hard to do – even though she came to America when she was 2, but Polish is a way better angle to play in the late 90s when she was working as a Glamour model and people wanted ethnic or Eastern European…before American fucking hated immigrants.

She’s still hot, even when hold, and I guess she’d have to be – there’s nothing else going on there…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Joanna Krupa|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Fat Kelly Brook Gives Herself a Waist in her Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Kelly Brook is a fat chick who people think is a hot chick because she’s made a career polarizing herself as a hot chick all thanks to having big tits, really big tits, but not necessarily great tits, but great enough to give her a career tits….but the entire time I’ve been saying “Why is this fat chick still being celebrated, especially since she’s around 40″…but no one listens to me, especially not Kelly Brook, except some of her fans who send me hate mail because I make fun of her for being fat and staging a miscarriage before launching her LA career that has been a failure, but luckily she still has a pile of money and a bunch of boyfriends from being naked…so she doesn’t even need to work.

But she does need to workout, she’s pulling her waistline in to give the illusion of shape – she knows all the tricks and her bikini bottoms know way too much as they are being sucked in by her fatness…deep into the abyss 40 year old men from the UK are very into…

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2016

19

Jul

Kim Kardashian Picture of the DAy

No Comments »

Kim Kardashian is the fucking worst, but at the same time it could be argued that she is the best, because she makes the money, she’s the top of the media chain, despite not having a marketable skill, besides being a master of marketing. She just shamelessly promotes herself and people buy into it. She makes fun of herself and people buy into it. People hate on her and still buy into her…all from putting herself out there in a sex tape that she’s made money off of since….decades later….

So seeing her sloppy mom in a tight dress may be vile to some, but people will still jerk off to it, because they are brain washed….and I am all about this pic, even though I truly don’t give a fuck about Kim Kardashian and think she’s the fucking worst…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|SFW