DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

13

Apr

Gwyneth Paltrow for SELF Magazine of the Day

Gwyneth Paltrow is perfect for SELF magazine, because this bitch is always talking about her self, she’s so fucking into herself, she’s even started a “lifestyle blog” about herself, because when you’re rich and spoiled, raised rich and connected in Hollywood….where everyone is all about themselves, it is pretty hard to not be about your self….

All these SELF and Shape magazines do the cheesiest, photoshopped, garbage shoots, so we can assume old, yet well fed and rested mom, because how could someone so into themselves not take care of themselves into their 40s, the cock and coke was more of a teens and 20s thing…

I am not into Gwyneth Paltrow, I never liked her in any of her movies, except Royal Tennenbaums, which I guess is when she peaked…but these pictures from a magazine you know she talked about herself, where there are probably some ridiculous quotes that I refuse to read is up there with being pure FICTION…..

As you all know, she’s the worst, but I’ll still post the sports bra…

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow|SFW

2016

13

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Trying to coordinate a CUM taste test with girls you meet in bars or off tinder is always a fail….that’s why you have to just bring a syringe filled with it to squirt into their drinks…it’s the new kind of roofies date rape…it’s the kind that she doesn’t get fucked up by, she doesn’t even know it happens, only you know…and in this social media of too much sharing, over sharing, living life for others approval…for that instagram pic…while some things, like this, you gotta keep to yourself…

I guess what I am saying is that everyone shares everything on the internet…and the only thing they don’t share is the things they are ashamed of, like their sexual predator, fetish, weirdness.

I know when everyone on my facebook has diarrhea, herpes, throws up…but I never know when they jerk off wearing their mom’s panties…

You get what I’m saying, and these are some stepLINKS…

Huge Collection of Hot Asses
CLICK HERE

Crushing Rubber Duck
CLICK HERE

Cami Li is a Monster in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Kate Hudson’s New Athlete Dick….
CLICK HERE

Dude ALmost Gets Taken Out by a Plane
CLICK HERE

Conan in a K-Pop Video is Terrifying
CLICK HERE

Kirsten Dunst is Single
CLICK HERE

The Guy Who Sleeps 5 Hours a Day
CLICK HERE

Doctor Strange Trailer
CLICK HERE

Thirsty Tinder Profiles…
CLICK HERE

Josie Canseco Topless
CLICK HERE

Hot Girls with Gym Shorts
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

12

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

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I am trying to convince a girl to get butt plugs for ANAL training, but her main concern is the shit…because shit is gross

So in my anal training course, I suggest she stop eating for 48 hours before anal….or she can stop 24 hours before and have a series of enemas, because poo is gross…but she finds that too much work…and would rather wait until she’s constipated so that anal won’t get shit on a dick…but since I hate shit, I think that strategy is a game of chance, because as likely as it is for the shit to be compacted by the dick, it could be unleashed by the dick…leaving shit everywhere…ruining sheets…and dignity…and making a shit hater like me throw up…

Maybe the answer is to find a dude into shit…because when it comes to anal, you’re playing with fire, even if I’ve never had shit on my dick in all the years of anal that I’ve had…

Maybe the real answer is with the homos of the world…

This is how I spend my days…

Big Tits…Breathing..Huh?
CLICK HERE

Victoria’s Secret Models at an Event
CLICK HERE

Dude ALmost Taken Out by a Plane
CLICK HERE

Charlize THeron – Bug Dress
CLICK HERE

Heidi Klum in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Is Lohan Enganged?
CLICK HERE

Skateboarding an Empty Waterpark
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Blake Lively on Set
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Jenna Dewan Huge Tits
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Most Racist Moment on a Gameshow
CLICK HERE

Lizzy Cundy See Through
CLICK HERE

Selena Gomez in a Sports Bra at the Airport
CLICK HERE

Gwyneth Paltrow Likes to Fuck
CLICK HERE

Accidentally Catching a Gator Instead of a Fish
CLICK HERE

You’ll Want to Fuck Camilla Luddington
CLICK HERE

Kanye West’s Talking Shit on Taylor Swift..
CLICK HERE

Ambrosio in TIght Pants
CLICK HERE

Dora the Explorer Voice at an Event…
CLICK HERE

Roxy Horner is Hot as Fuck
CLICK HERE

Alligator Through Wendy’s Drive Thru
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Cat Breaks Lamp – Gets Electrocuted
CLICK HERE

Barbara Palvin Models Lingerie
CLICK HERE

Charlize Theron in WSJ
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Abigail Rathchford Milkshake Photoshoot
CLICK HERE

Eliza Cummings Tits in Marie Claire Italy
CLICK HERE

Tower Demolition Fail
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Inside Etch a Sketch
CLICK HERE

Tests His Own Bullet Proof Vest While Wearing It..
CLICK HERE

Some Model Named Belinda in Lingerie
CLICK HERE

Nic Cage / Vince Neil the best
CLICK HERE

Game of Thrones Second Trailer
CLICK HERE

Dude Staring at a Bikini Model Touching her Toes
CLICK HERE

Ciara’s Upper Thigh is Great
CLICK HERE

Skanks Dine and Dash
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Sarah Underwood Sharing a Donut
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Star Wars Kid is Having Hard Times…
CLICK HERE

90210 David is Megan Fox’s Baby Daddy
CLICK HERE

xHAMSTER Blocks North Carolina
CLICK HERE

Chloe Moretz Cameltoe
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Idiot Causes Crash…
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Miley Cyrus and her Boyfriend / Fiance
CLICK HERE

A Bunch of Fan Girls
CLICK HERE

Adriana Lima Oiled Up
CLICK HERE

David GEST has Died
CLICK HERE

Woman Sets Gas Station on Fire When Dude Won’t Give her a Cigarette
CLICK HERE

===============
From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE VERY NSFW!
================

Weird clothed Dildo Video
CLICK HERE

Some Naked Babe
CLICK HERE

Naked Blonde with Big tits
CLICK HERE

Busty Busted Naked Cleaning Lady
CLICK HERE

Nude Selfie of Naked Selfies of the Day
CLICK HERE

Weird Porn Fantasy
CLICK HERE

Asian Stripper Tips
CLICK HERE

Kim Garnder in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Canadians Masturbate to Eskimos
CLICK HERE

Big Tits on Display
CLICK HERE

Pics and Video Porn By the Porn Gatherer
CLICK HERE

Random Tumblr Porn!
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

BUY THE VAGINA SHIRT I DESIGNED CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Posted in:stepLINKS

2016

12

Apr

Natalie Imbruglia VS Izabel Goulart Bikini Contest of the Day

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How about a little bikini contest…

Natalie Imbruglia is not lying naked on the floor…she’s 41 years old and has been fucked by David Schwimmer, which is terrifying, but he’s rich…I don’t remember ever fantasizing about her laying naked on the floor song, but at 41…she’s looking pretty fucking awesome, probably because she moved to the UK from Australia before drying up into some shrivelled raisin from the sun….and her body is probably from choosing not to have kids…always the right choice..

CLICK TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF IMBRUGLIA

VS

Versus Izabel Goulart is ripped…she’s a fitness pornographer, Victoria’s Secret fashion show model, based in Brazil and has a fucking ridiculous low fat percentage….thanks to fitness everyday…these pics are impressive, but she’s a bikini model, so she’s got a higher standard to uphold…of course she looks fit and thin in a bikini – she makes 1,000,000 a year doing this…..

CLICK TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF GOULARt

HONORABLE MENTION BUT NO LONGER IN THE SAME LEAGUE – HEIDI KLUM:

AND THE WINNER IS…..LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR…

Imbruglia…because she’s older, not a bikini model, and her clit isn’t pulsating like an erection from all the testosterone in her veins…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|Natalie Imbruglia|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Kristen Stewart’s Lesbian for Chanel Erotica of the Day

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Kristen Stewart is boring….she can channel her inner Parisian hooker from the 20s all she wants…showing some hosiery with her shirt undone…like she’s just been paid to do some striptease…while she’s actually just been paid by a brand, probably 4-5 million dollars…to be their spokesperson thanks to having a strong team pushing her “celebrity”…aggressively to the ad agency, when the truth is she influences zero people on fashion, trends or anything, except maybe the freakish lesbian she’s dating…but that’s probably just because the Lesbian can’t K-Fed her with an accidental knock up – or Megan Fox her with an accidental knock up to establish a future together…their lesbian baby requires science labs and shit….

BONUS – SEE LESBIAN GENDER BENDER KRISTEN STEWART WITH A DICK IN HER JEANS

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Lindsay Lohan is Engaged and Bella Thorne has a Sun Burn of the Day

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I know that no one cares about anything Lindsay Lohan, she’s so done, expired, useless, irrelevant, still famous and people will still suck up to her, but nothing she does is of real interest, nothing even when she goes out and gets engaged no one cares, 80 percent of people just assume she’s dead….or prostituting herself to someone who thinks it’s cool that they are fucking Lindsay Lohan, knowing how many famous and rich cock that has been in her…it’s like that pussy is the whos who of the early 2000s Hollywood…

I am probably one of 50 people who still care about Lohan, including her immediate family, but then again, they never cared about her…but I don’t really care to see her face that she’s mangled, at 30 or near 30 or older than 30…..it takes away from what was…

So to celebrate Lohan, her engagement, I’d rather focus on a topless, recently sunburnt, snap chatting redhead who is everything Lohan wanted to be, including but not limited to 18 years old…Bella Thorne…because we’re in an era where Bella Throne’s sunburn is a bigger deal than Lohan’s engagement to some rich dude from Russia, 10 years behind on the trends…

But if you’re more into expired milk, knowing it will one day turn into cheese, here’s Lohan this past weekend NIPPPLES IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

12

Apr

Vanessa Hudgens and Her Sister in a Weird BIKINI Photoshoot of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens is looking good. She’s been pretty pudgy her entire career, you know like a little hairy monkey, getting the nickname Pudgens from people like me, who are so obvious in our humor, calling chubby girls my Thinspiration, and other great fat jokes I’ve been saving in my catalog since the first grade…

I guess her live theater acting forces her to actually stay away from the craft services and burn all kinds of calories…because she’s on Broadway, you know a musical theater star, like some kind of faggot, who may or may not be into anal, but based on my experience is probably into anal, girls fucking love anal….

But who I do know is into nude selfies, because her lawyers have reached out to me not once but TWICE, on two different nude selfie occasions, one younger and hairier than the other, and since that happened…I’ve been a fan…

She’s in Miami, owning her new body, and I’m into it….bikinis with her busty sister…is great sister fetish erotica for the day…

Here are some videos:

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2016

12

Apr

Elvis’ Granddaughter Riley Keough’s Got Cum on her Belly for TV of the Day

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I guess they made a TV show out of “The Girlfriend Experience”, where Elvis’ granddaughter, who looks a bit too much like Elvis, if you know what I mean, is the star or one of the hookers who offers the girlfriend experience, which coincidentally is what ever instagram model offers, but she doesn’t really consider herself a hooker or escort, despite using her vagina to get herself things like a life of luxury, but we know the truth…and 500,000 or 1,000,000 followers on some bullshit social media platform that they got posing half naked is not a reason for that life of luxury, it’s just good marketing to rich guys who like things that seem of value…so no matter how they spin it…they are hookers..

Riley Keough is not a hooker, she just plays one in the pictures, seeing as she’s Elvis’ granddaughter, there’s probably a pile of fucking money to go around…..I guess part of being the girlfriend experience hooker is taking loads on her stomach…on TV….let me repeat…LOADS ON HER STOMACH…on TV….

This is almost revolutionary to someone like me, who couldn’t get into film school because all I wanted to film was real sex in an era before real sex was trendy…fast forward 30 years…and LOADS ON STOMACH’s on TV…far more exciting than when I Love Lucy’s interracial couple in separate beds broke TV…

Posted in:Riley Keough

2016

12

Apr

Taylor Swift Hot Ass of the Day

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My favorite thing about Taylor Swift is that the cock who has rumored to have knocked her up like she Megan Fox for the Third Time with David from 90210 to trap him and save their family or some shit…by the same cock that has fucked Rita Ora and probably a handful of a lot of groupie bitches while living the superstar DJ life….a dick that is probably less traveled than Taylor Swift’s vagina, she’s fucked everyone but markets it like it’s a broken hearted failed relationship…poor Taylor Swift…dirty genitals…

I actually don’t like anything about the probably pregnant Taylor Swift…not even her her flat as fuck and we know how flat fucks are… ass…

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

12

Apr

Sara Sampaio Tits in ELLE UK May 2016 of the Day

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Sara Sampaio Tits…..may not be massive in size, but they are massive in spirit….because she’s short and skinny as fuck, and fights for skinny girl rights in this era of fat everywhere, all tanned skin, from Portugal, which is what I call “Not Quite Spanish” making her the daughter of a fisherman who sailed into America like her relative Christopher Columbus to discover the free world in the form of modeling for their billion dollar mall brand….

Not very exciting, but topless, in the tradition of models everywhere, topless is everything….

Posted in:Sara Sampaio