DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

09

May

Jojo Bra and Panties of the Day

Funny enough, I went on Jojo’s social media last week for the first time in months, because I don’t really bother with social media, it gets in the way of me being an out of touch, clueless, outdated, boomer fuck….so that I can just perv on people in peace without getting caught up in the cancer of the social media satanic agenda….

But I have to update this bullshit site, so sometimes I do my rounds to see “who is famous, or who was famous, and what slutty content have they posted”….

Jojo, being a top trending child star sold to the industry, tapped out early on, but has been slowly making a comeback, and pre-pandemic, she pulled a full tit out on her IG story, shocking a nation, but not really, few people cared, but I was like “damn Jojo, them New Hampshire, daughter of a cleaning lady tits are some kind of big”….

Then Rihanna cast her as an underwear model for Rihanna’s billion dollar brand, like Rihanna was tapping into the people she looked up to before she was exported to the USA at the age of 14 to become a billion dollar earner for some people….and I guess herself….but that’s another story….this story is about Jojo posting lingerie pics on the regular as part of that Rihanna stamp of approval she needed.

Since then, she’s touring and performing in plays or something along those lines and the panty pics, the titty pics, the Jojo trying to be the pudgy child star turned thirst trapper became few and far between….

BUT ALL THAT HAS CHANGED TODAY….with the underwear selfie….now if only her name wasn’t so fucking stupid, maybe you could jerk off to it, but when someone refers to herself as Jojo, it reminds me of the retard home I was forced to volunteer at….she’s not 4 years old anymore…let her get that grown up name…her tits, which have gone through puberty at least twice, say it’s time.!

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Posted in:JoJo|Jojo Levesque

2023

09

May

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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In a world filled with fake shit, from the hormones in the water making everyone gay, to the anti-depressants in the water, making everyone a retard, to the chemicals sprayed in the air, to the lies on TV and in the media….to the AI generated women, the deep fake porn, the AR filters of IG and SNAP, the FACETUNE, the fake followers, the fake numbers, the fake fame, these trolls commit to and brands pay for…..be a tiny tit…

In a world full of insecure self hating uninteresting people, who realize their only hope is to have fake tits, because tits help girls get ahead, especially when they have nothing else going for them….all filled with plastic and inflammation….be a tiny tit.

The tiny tit is a wonderful thing, like it’s big tit cousin, it can be played with and sucked on without all the added work, and heavy lifting….and in most cases, the body the tiny tit is on is better than the body the big tit is on, so whether we are all eager for big tit, TINY tit women are better, more secure, not out there murdering their tits to impress idiots on the internet….so we celebrate that!

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2023

09

May

Sara Sampaio Braless of the Day

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Sara Sampaio is one of the more basic Victoria’s Secret models that has existed.

My theory was they they hired her to replace Adriana Lima before realizing that bitch would never quit, but a Portuguese Speaking, Light Eyed girl was all those casting people needed, or she met the right guy on a fishing boat off the coast of Lisbon and her figured he’d give her a career as a model because she was tall enough as a thank you for the great fish her family brought him, like those custard pastries and Nando’s chicken, those Portuguese can fish.

Anyway, she’s the kind of VS model, who is no longer a VS model because VS turned their back on hot chicks…I actually walked by a VS store the other day and they had a fat fuck in their window, like some kind of virtue signalling woke liars….like back in the day the ugly VS models were this girl you wouldn’t notice on the street and now they are the girls you can’t help but notice because they take up the whole sidewalk or all the seats on the bus, thanks to being built like a bus.

What I am trying to say, I’ll get to it, is that Sara Sampaio doing nipple braless titty selfies like some kind of basic whore almost makes her less average looking, even though she’s doing what is now average things! Internet iPhone whorin’.

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Posted in:Sara Sampaio

2023

09

May

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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Tight pants may not be the foundation of romance, but when you see them on randoms in the street, basically exposing their genitals while hugging their asses in ways that their asses are rarely hugged, pulling it all together so that it looks the way an ass should look, or at least in a way they want their ass to look…..it’s basically about as much romance as you can get from strangers on the street.

Yesterday, I saw some girl in tight pants walking towards me, with each step forward a pussy lip winked at me, in my mind, our eyes connected, me and her pussy lip, and are now forever friends….we’ve made love three times in my mind….

Earlier today, I saw some girl walking her dog in tight shorts, she had skinny legs and wide hips, so that when she walked her legs were so far apart that all I saw was the mound of her pussy, just smiling back at me, I wanted to offer it a cigarette but forgot that I quit smoking a decade ago, even though smoking’s so cool.

Basically, tight pants are my only way to find love with stranger pussy, without actually having to talk to the host body of said pussy, so tight pants are my key to happiness.

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2023

09

May

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch in a Bra of the Day

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And so….the ugly watch continues….

If you’ve been reading this site since Ashley Tisdale’s first Ugly Watch happened, this was pre botched nose job, almost early on in her career as a one hit wonder on some Disney Bullshit, that no one really understood how she got cast for, seeing as it was called High School Musical and she was already in her mid-30s, but we’ll assume some dick sucking, nose banging against the GOOCH in ways a smaller nosed talent could never pull off, making that nose work miracles for her before self sabotaging when realizing she didn’t need the nose anymore, thanks to being cast by Disney…..

Anyway, we’ve been doing the UGLY watch for over a decade because I’ve always been immune to propaganda and I’ve never believed that a bitch is hot because the TV or the TEEN CHOICE awards pretends she’s hot…you see I have eyes, a penis and a internal gauge for these things….and so do you, just believe in yourself and you won’t fall for the lies…

The skinny, now mom, probably in her mid-40s, looks like she’s done some face work, like she’s some sort of hispanic girl dolled up and ready to illegally cross the border for human trafficking work but her small mom tits, that once had implants that are now explants, even though no one knew they were implants….are in a bikini top and that’s always fun…

Who’s face is that? that’s not even her, I mean I have facial recognition blindness and that ain’t Tisdale though…

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Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ashley Tisdale

2023

09

May

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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They say that large bodies of water are good for the soul and the key to longevity, so if you have access to a beach, where you can look onto the wonderful soul cleaning therapeutic views that are supposed to ground you in some way, do it while jerking off to all the bitches in bikinis who are also at the beach.

The bikini, like large bodies of water, as long as they aren’t on large bodies, are as important to our existence or at least as important to our public masturbation habits.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

08

May

Denise Richards Jump Scare of the Day

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Denise Richards is still being shameless, desperate, hilarious and most importantly terrifying in what I think has to be part of a humiliation ritual at her elite Sex cult, part of some achieving higher level of consciousness in her secret society of perverts, because I can’t really understand why else she would be doing what she’s doing, other than to give us weird content to jerk off to, like it’s some sort of test in our ability to jerk off to things we really don’t want to jerk off to, but because we are sympathetic to how sad she is, kind souls, while being nostalgic, they are preying on us, when clearly she should spend more time praying.

Point of the story, wtf,

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Posted in:Denise Richards

2023

08

May

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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I saw a meme and since memes are life, like they are how people get the news, learn about politics, become internet schizo lifting racists, maybe turn trans, or at least into influencers, the meme controls the hive mind, so I’ll repurpose the meme here….

It says something like, I always get memes wrong and my autism doesn’t understand them, but basically it’s a doctor and it says “a patient cured is a customer lost” which makes you wonder about how much the medical field wants to cure you and how much it wants to make you sick, but luckily for you, in this side hustle sell nude society, these front line workers care about you, or at least you jerking off to them, so maybe being sick is the way to be, or at least the way to get closer to the pussy in real life…the medical industry is the new strip clubs….where the lap dances are more lab nudes after your stool sample has been collected. So hot

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Posted in:NURSES

2023

08

May

Demi Rose Underboob of the Day

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I don’t know what’s going on this picture, but either Demi Rose has ZIKA virus and some weird kind of pin-head, or her legs and hips are so wide that her head looks like it is a birth defect, but maybe it’s just the weird angle they shoot her content from to make her lean, but either way it’s weird.

Then again, Demi Rose’s career as a sex worker is pretty weird. From Taz’s angels in Miami, to Hummus parties in Dubai, all while the media praised her as the UKs Kim Kardashian, not making nearly as much as Kim Kardashian, but being hotter than Kim Kardashian, since Kim Kardashian is a demon ogre that crawled out of the California forest.

I don’t hate on the big asses, I actually find them fun to look at and to bury my head into while trying to get infected from some mind controlling parasites by the whole ass to mouth method. They just aren’t fun for small dicks, because they are impossible to break through and penetrate, similar to obese women, but when not on obese women it’s less gross…assuming Demi Rose isn’t obese, which we can’t in this photoshopped, altered world that we live in.

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Posted in:Demi Rose

2023

08

May

J.Lo Foot Fetish of the Day

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I will forever think the foot fetishists of the world are fucking strange, but I appreciate their commitment to the cause, because with their passion, obsession, that if it was wrongfully appropriated, you know like if they put that kind of love and appreciation and obsessive compulsion into something else, could be pretty fucking criminal, but feet totally harmless.

So yes, I will forever think the foot fetishists are weird, but I will forever be grateful for the foot fetishists for encouraging so many girls to monetize their content for sexual perverts, seemingly harmless, but it gave them a taste for the selling of nudes, and because of those motivated creeps with disposable income, we’ve got COUNTLESS women selling nudes today.

It started with the bikini pics, then came the feet bros, to have every normie and their mother producing porn….what a great world to be in! One filled with heathens to jerk off to without requiring much effort. Magical.