DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

14

May

Cailin Russo Topless for Lady Islington of the Day

Cailin Russo is not a friend of the site, but she should be, because I write such nice things about her and her father who was in a punk band in the 90s, who toured Warped tour and probably was one of those dudes who toured Warped tour in your hometown who fucked your high school girlfriend…because girls love guys in bands…and who probably didn’t use condoms…assumng that at 16 girls can’t get pregnant…producuing this magical creature who has decided to be a model…who’s claim to fame is kissing Beiber in a music video..and who has since turned to nude modeling to get noticed…because no one cares about the girl who kissed Beiber, they would be more into the girl who Killed Beiber…..and more importantly..because nude modeling is all that fucking matters….but even that doesn’t matter…I mean we don’t care about much as a society…everything is surface and for show with no substance…and people who are actually doing things of substance we don’t even notice…but we do seem to pay attention to a lot of idiots…at least for two seconds it takes to see their tits…weird.

Posted in:Cailin Russo

2015

14

May

Ashley Tisdale Cameltoe with Shaq is the Sex Tape You Want to See of the Day

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I used to target Ashley TIsdale because she was a lie…created by Disney Marketing people…winning awards for being pretty when she really wasn’t that pretty and I just felt annoyed and that it was my responsibility to speak the truth and do what I could to get the word out that this was a lie…

Then I forgot about her, as the rest of the world dide…but figure why not target her again today, because her fans are so into her, and she can do no wrong…but more importantly becausse she’s got a cameltoe standing next to Shaq..in what would be one of the most disturbing sex tapes imaginable…and that’s all I have to say about that…which is honestly already too much, I mean this is Ashley Tisdale…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2015

14

May

Miley Cyrus is The Best Ever of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is a delicate flower from Pop Culture heaven who has graced the world with the polar opposite of everything she was when in contract with Disney…including but not limited to being topless as often as possible…because high as often as possible…because either she’s a broken girl…which is possible, all child stars are…or she’s a calculated puppet designed to connect to the market…because some marketing execs spent a year analyzing tumblr…and sitting in focus groups of angsty teens….

She is a caricature of what the market is…she reminds me of 80 percent of the girls on Tinder who claim to be weird..and crazy…when really it’s just the new Gap…and I’m into it..because I get to see tits…and open minded hipster chicks…who aren’t really hipsters since this is the mainstream…and these girls are from normal families, this is just the trend, and really they let me bang them better than girls back in the day would…I’m talking Anal..so sign me up…

Here she is doing My Neck / My Back ….in video….real bad video…

Who Shot this shit…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2015

14

May

Emmanuelle Chriqui Big Tits of the Day

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Emmanuelle Chriqui’s old Canadian face was used to promote the new entourage movie…that I assume entourage fans are really excited about seeing..because entourage was a huge part of their lives for a long time…and I remember when it was on TV and I never watched it…because seeing these lame fucking actor dudes trying to be cool was everything but cool…because actors as a general rule are homos…and hollywood as a general is cheesy…so seeing them do it in their 40s…on the big screen is just weird to me…but seeing these tits…in her 40s…are ok to me…because we like tits..

Posted in:Emmanuelle Chriqui

2015

14

May

Josephine Skriver Models of the Day

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Josephine Skriver is a Victoria’s Secret model…but more interesting she was designed by science…

Her mom a lesbian and her dad a gay marine Biolgist…and apparently…she was one of his science experiments…on some Dr Moreau shit…and it went right…

Blending the DNA of some dyke and himself….to some create his own perfect and amazing creature….which is weird because every gay dude I know…hates lesbians….but I guess there are exceptions to every rule…or something…and that exceptions is this model…who is modeling something…in these pics….because that’s what models do…

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2015

14

May

Bella Thorne is a NUrse of the day

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Bella Thorne posted this picture of her as a 17 year old nurse…the kind of Dougie Howser that you probably fantasize about….but that you shouldn’t fantasize about…because a nurse is there to tend to your illness…and 17 year olds are so irresponsible and caught up in their vapid social media existences that you’d likely end up taking care of yourself, or dying off due to their negligence…as they snap a selfie with you….and sure a teen body that’s a few months from being legal…always looks better than an old fat seasoned veteran nurse who is probably angry, jaded and mad about her Union not getting her that raise…so just as careless…but there’s a lot more comfort in that than some actress pretending to be a nurse…

All this to say, Bella Thorne, whether a real nurse or not, gives me anxiety…because I like to know my nurse knows what she’s doing…and is more than just a slutty teen in a nurses outfit…if you know what I mean..

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2015

14

May

5 Questions with GizelGizel of the Day

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We are in a generation of insta babes…girls who you may or may not have ever heard of…who you may or may not know what they do…but who have a massive following….and who you follow without even realizing it…so that you know what she ate for lunch or where she’s partying…even though you’ve never met her…but you feel connected to her and love her…

Today’s instababe is @gizelgizel ….and we wanted to find out more about her so we asked her 5 questions:

What is your hustle?

Clothing line am working on and modeling and gogo dancer

Why should someone follow you on Instagram?

to understand my personality and humor

What’s your favourite love song? Must of been love rosette

If you had to bang a handicap person – what handicap would you choose and why?

(silence)

What is your favourite drug that’s not marijuana?

caffeine and shoe

What would you do for a Klondike bar ?

(silence)

What’s the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

jumping out of a airplane am afraid of height

What fantasy do you have that you haven’t tried?

Rolling around a million dollar naked lol

What will you do once you reach a million followers?

I would’ve have but am always getting deleted up have a million on my Fb fan page umm I think I would don more videos for my fans

Follow goddesss @gizelgizel .

Posted in:Instababe

2015

14

May

Monika Jagaciak Naked of the Day

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I am pretty sure that Monika Jagaciak is a Victoria’s Secret model who has been naked at least once or twice before….like in these pictures that have been circulating the last two weeks and that I’ve probably already posted but that I am too lazy to look through my archives to find…because that’s what happens…all these model tits…often times tits from the same models…start to get boring, repetitive and blend into each other…leaving me willing to stare when I see them…but not willing to register it and catalog it like some kind of virgina loser, I can barely remember the real life tits I’ve sucked…let alone pics of girls who would never let me suck their tits but who will cock tease me with them…I hate her for that…

Posted in:Monika Jagaciak

2015

14

May

Nicola Peltz in a Tight Dress of the Day

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Nicola Peltz is like a Kylie Jenner, Gigi Hadid type…but less obnoxious because she was raised in Upstate new york to a billionaire who probably financed the Transformers movie she replaced Megan Fox in, but who helped her package herself as less of a fame whoring slut and more of a “talent”…because since that movie she’s been pretty fucking invisible…when she should be out there posting her nipples at all the clubs…because of the trust fund…

I guess she’s just not in the Taylor Swift harem or circle of who matters…because that seems to be where the stamps of approval from these LA twats is coming from…

But maybe that’s gonna change…with this ass pic she posted of her in a tight dress in LA…taken by the paparazzi…because ass pics in tight dresses are the gateway to spread asshole pics…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicola Peltz

2015

14

May

Alexis Ren in Underwear of the Day

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Alexis Ren is some new It Girl hustler…who poses in photos half naked…and takes those half naked pics and posts them because when you have a hot 18 year old body and a dream…you do what you gotta do to get famous, paid and to live that life of amazing everyone wishes they had but are too lazy to strip down and take selfies to get…I mean that and date rich dudes, flirt with brand managers, and do the hustle you gotta do to fucking make it…

I am a fan…because I like when one girl replaces another girl…in this flimsy world all these people work so hard to be a part of…and who get overpaid for their 5 minutes of being a part of it…

I feel like I’ve Posted these already..

Posted in:Alexis Ren