I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2015

17

Apr

Chrissy Teigen Stretch Marks of the Day

Chrissy-Teigen-1

Chrissy Teigen is the fucking worst. I am not just saying that because she targeted me on her blog and called me a rapist..I am saying that because everything about her, from career, to social media comedy, to weird freakouts to her realtionship and marriage is a fucking joke….the only thing I wish wasn’t a joke was when she mentioned her suicidal thoughts…because maybe they’d get the best of her in a drunken, bloated rage…

People in the mainstream, I call them suburbanites, or peasants, are buying into her nonsense..and last night I even saw people celebrating and commedning Chrissy Teigen for being so brave by posting a pic of her stretch marked thighs…likes it is revolutionary to be disgusting…

Girls have stretch marks…and I think it is safe to say based on even her photoshopped pics that this pig faced, pot bellied, obscure ethnicity was imperfect…a photoshop lie…that wasn’t even that great, but good enough to secure her funds by gold digging smart, with a guy right before he got super fucking rich…so that he thinks it’s true love…

She’s high maintenance, high strung, irritating, and shouldn’t even be on anyone’s radar…

So only models because she’s positioned herself properly and her rich as fuck husband likes it for his ego..and she’s just doing this for attention…because she sucks and loves attention…and pparently so do her fat inner thighs.

All this to say…I think she’s got a dick…no, that’s not what I wanted to say….what I wanted to say is stop encouraging her…there is nothing good about this oversharing, look at me “fans”…”it’s like you’re in my room with me as we drink because I have no friends, let’s talk about our insecurities” behavior…it’s the worst.

Posted in:Chrissy Teigen|SFW

2015

17

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Cheats on Victoria’s Secret of the Day

Candice Swanepoel06

Here she is for Paola & Murray Swimwwear…because I guess Victoria’s Secret is licensing her out…seeing as she is property of theirs as they made her….

I mean we don’t even know if she’s human or from a lab…because she’s pretty much perfect enough to not be fucking human…even in her old model age…which is a funny concept..because she’s probably barely 30…yet almost done.

At least she cashed the fuck in when she had the chance, not that she needed to, her family are South Africa blood diamond farmers…this is just more of a Gigi Hadid level of “I did it on my own” vanity…and I’m glad it happened…because not enough girls in the world look like Candice Swanepoel…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

17

Apr

Nicole Trunfio’s in a Bikini of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-04-17 at 9.44.38 AM

Nicole Trunfio was the Emily Ratajkowski who got away….basically she was a few months, maybe even a year too early to go viral…but she was actually a hot Australian model, who was just town to get topless in shoots, and who would have destroyed that Blurred Lines video harder than the girl who did, and would have gone just as viral, only more sustainable, since she’s actually a model…the kind who was willing to show her tits…

Well, instead of getting famous as fuck in America, she got famous as fuck back home in Australia…she also got pregnant as fuck and had a baby 2 months ago, only to bounce back looking like this…because that’s how actual fucking babes do it…not like your wife or all the bitches whining at Starbucks who keep fucking eating because they are so tired from being a mom….but really have just given the fuck up…

Baby or not….Nicole Trunfio is great…and not just her big milk filled tits…all of her…and all she represents…it shoulda been her…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicole Trunfio

2015

17

Apr

Kate Moss is a Braless Old Lady of the Day

kate-moss-bra-less-old-lady

No matter how old and beat up Kate Moss looks as she gets old…and her lifestyle catches up to her….she’ll always be amazing to me…but that’s probably because I’ve known her pussy was old and beat up a decade ago when she had already fucked everyone…and the everyone she had fucked had fucked everyone…making her vagina a science experiment that I could only imagine was a leathery petri dish of weirdness..probably dry, flakey and with a rash or at least “don’t worry they are just ingrown hairs”….all while railing lines of cocaine as her daughter hung out at home motherless…as she showed the world her tits over and over and over…in the most amazing, glamourous ways…

I’m a fan.

Posted in:Kate Moss

2015

17

Apr

Josephine Skriver for Juicy of the Day

juicy-couture-beach-fashion-2015-05

Josephine Skriver is a model…who I guess did some work for Victoria’s Secret and who is now doing work for Juicy Couture…a brand that is probably made in the Victoria’s Secret Asian Sweatshops since that is how these mall brands do things…and if you’ve ever been to a mall, and I have, it’s the best place to scope out hot, young, angsty teensin short shorts and crop tops…

Well…her back story is that this Josephine Skriver is from Denmark, she was designed by science…her mom a lesbian and her dad a gay marine Biolgist…and apparently…she was one of his science experiments that went right…some create our own perfect and amazing creature as our own….that merges two groups that hate either other…Gay Men..and Lesbians…because while fighting for the same equal rights…gays hate pussy, lesbians hate dick, and they are so far removed from each other…those friendships never work…..and makes the world think gays and lesbians can parent….because they actually want the kids unlike white trash who do it for the unaffordable abortions..

All this to say, She’s probably amazing in bed from all the weird gay and lesbian shit she was exposed to growing up…and I don’t just mean being well dressed….

Posted in:Josephine Skriver

2015

17

Apr

Eliza Dushku and her Ass Eating Dog of the Day

dushku

Eliza Dushku posted this picture of her dog sniffing her ass…which I guess is because she’s on her period…

I know, I through she’d be too old to get her period too. It seems like it was 20 years ago that she had a 6 month career making movies as the hot chick…

I wonder what she’s up to, I mean with her promoting herself in obvious ways that scream “i want you to ask what I am up to, so I’ll put up some me with my doggy erotica weirdness”…but luckily not too weird…she clearly left the peanut butter out it this time…

All this to say…she apparently dropped out of Hollywood, moved to Boston because Hollywood is shit, and is actually in college following her dreams of doing whatever it is she put on hold to do this hollywood nonsense…before realizing that it is just that…nonsense…so good for her…and keep the dog in ass pics coming…cuz I don’t care if she’s over 35…or that she fucks black guys…she’s still Eliza Dushku to me and I’m all about letter her sit on my face….to celebrate that…l

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|SFW

2015

17

Apr

Emily Ratajkowski in One of her Final Campaigns of the Day

Emily Ratajkowski 07-1

The nice thing with the internet is that it builds these worthless idiots up into thinking that they matter…all because it opens up a few doors to rich dudes and casting directors and decision makers…I’m assuming Ben Afleck, David Fincher, Robin Thick, and Kanye West…and now possibly Zac Effron…who say “I want to fuck the tits in that blurred lines video”…so they give her a job in whatever they are doing, everyone wins…until she’s left in the dust as the decision makers go onto fuck other instagram models…

Yes…Emrata and what I assume are fake tits, despite how committed she is to proving they are not fake tits….was the one nude low level model who managed to crossover to the mainstream…

But there is no way she’s going to last, there are too many Emily Ratajkowski’s in the world…all interchangeable..so like so many stripper whores before her, I hope she saved up her money, or at least found a rich dude with low self esteem to support her because she was the tits in that blurred lines video…

She’s got zero star power…but she has tits…and this instagram 5 minutes of relevance shit should fucking end…in a few minutes…

Until that happens, here she is in a campaign she probably made 50,000 dollars doing…She’s really not that hot…I mean I get the Angelina Jolie bootleg, bargain basement at the Church Bazaar…vibe….but she’s not the real deal…even if she’s playing make-belief and thinks she is…I can guarantee that no one fucking cares about her or her secondary hollywood acting roles..that if she’s lucky will lead to playing the “hot girl”…like Alba, Tara Reid and the other talentless hacks before her…but I don’t even think she’d amount to that…

But she does have a great monobrow…and she has done a lot of modeling for someone who is 5 foot 4 and not a model…all while proving the internet can create viral fucking jokes…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2015

17

Apr

Marisa Papen is Some Hipster Tits of the Day

Marisa-110

If you’ve seen one hipster photographer who isn’t a real photographer but who has a camera and photoshop he can apply filters taht make shit look like film….you’ve seen all hipster photoshoots…

It is all the fucking same, it’s like take a hipster model who is willing to get naked cuz she’s a hipster, put her in a trailer park, doing the dishes, or something equally obvious…maybe riding a long board, or a bike….or whatever…and take the pics…

I find it hard to get inspired, feel anything, I’ve seen it all, and now that hipster is mainstream, I am polluted by it all…

But the nice thing about it is HIPSTER MODEL TITS!!

Who gives a fuck why, or where this is, or where this is going…whether it’s for instagram or to increase a models profile…

Just be happy it happened, because Marisa Pepen is the future,…at least that’s how I feel about her right now…while looking at her pics…

Posted in:Marisa Papen

2015

17

Apr

Jordana Brewster Naked in Allure of the DAy

Jordana-Brewster-Naked-01

Jordana Brewster was a teen soap star in the 90s, which means at least one of you jerked off to her when you called in sick, took the day off school, or was on disability because you’re a retard…and soap opera’s were your porn…it was 1995…and dial-up internet was annoying with the slow loading pictures and no videos…

Since then she’s turned 35…

She’s also done a bunchof Fast & Furious movies…and that’s about it…but I guess that’s all you need to do…just ask Paul Walker…oh wait…you can’t..he’s dead…so ask Vin Diesel…who I thought was gay until last week…only to have found out my friend gave him a blowjob…which brings up an important point…can you still get a blowjob from a girl…if you’re gay…I didn’t ask if he came from it…I just left it at that…and the answer is yes…you can be straight for pay, or to give you street cred or whatever…

Not that that has anything to do with Jordana Brewster, I mean, it may be the reason she got the job…but I figure that would involve more anus.

She’s naked in Allure, not showing her clit…so what’s the fucking point of getting naked….I guess posts like this…

Posted in:Jordana Brewster

2015

17

Apr

Lais Ribeiro Naked Photoshoot of the DAy

Lais-Ribeiro-Naked-18-667x1024

Lais Ribeiro is a model and these pictures are probably old, I’ve probably posted them on the site, because I generally don’t miss nude photos, even of low level models, as that’s pretty much what I do all day…if you consider working an hour a day at this all day..it just feels like it is…

That said, I can’t keep track of the nude pics being produced anymore because everyone is nude…there was a time not so long ago when people weren’t nude and compamies like Playboy tricked them into getting nude by showing them a briefcase of money…now they are just on it on their own to get noticed in what may be the best marketing campaign ever…because I like nude…but that is almost making nude pics boring….

We’ve seen it all before..we are shoved nudes pics down our throats always…and it’s only a matter of time before fashion turns into official porn..and official porn goes even darker…all in hopes of giving boners…to people who have seen it all and find it hard to get boners to basic things like tits…

Thanks to these feminists and all the tit pics, tits have become the new ankles of the 1800s…and I’m ready for that…because my boner problems may actually be health related not seen too many tits related…

If these are old consider them a flashback friday…

Posted in:Lais Ribeiro