DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

11

Apr

Elsa Hosk and Sara Sampaio for Victoria’s Secret Pink of the Day

I recently found out that Victoria’s Secret Pink brand is designed for teen girls.

You see I was always too busy loving the Victoria’s Secret models, while hating the evil corporation for being an evil corporation, but more importantly a company that mistreats this babes by not using them to their full potential, but instead throwing them into shitty, repetitive catalog shots I fucking hate, to realize that Victoria’s Secret has a target market or what their retailing strategy was.

So when you perverts look at these pics of Sara Sampaio and Elsa Hosk, their Miranda Kerr replacements, that are much hotter….one from Sweden the other from my dreams….you can imagine 15 year old girls in it…but I’m perfectly fine looking at these babes in it….

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|Sara Sampaio

2013

11

Apr

Sara Jean Underwood’s Twitter Bikini Pic of the Day

No Comments »

Sara Jean Underwood was a Playboy star, mainly because at a young age she was smart enough to jump onto the Playboy nude modeling, knowing that at 18, her chances were better than at 25 when most girls realize “shit, I’d do playboy since normal jobs suck and failing at modeling and acting and TV hosting has robbed my soul”….because dudes like seeing 18 year olds naked whether they are all that hot or not.

Then she got implants, pretended to date Seacrest, got a TV hosting job, and became too big and famous to get naked for money, typical.

Well now her show is over, her fan base a little nerdier, and her eagerness to get another TV gig probably high, but the hope is that she gets nothing, and ends up going back to nude modeling and seeing her post pics in her bikini, makes me think that’s probably what is going to be happening.

We call this a cry for male attention and an attempt to stay relevant. Next stop….spread pussy pics!

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood

2013

11

Apr

Sabine Jemeljanova Tits for Page 3 of the Day

1 Comment »

Show NSFW Content

Sabine Jemeljanova is some UK Glamour model from Latvia, who I can only assume moved the the UK to work as a stripper or prostitute, because the big city she left Latvia for, “to learn english” according to her wikipedia page, that we all know is code for “to suck dick to pay my rent cuz I have huge tits I am not scared to show off” because it is a means to survive that landed her gigs in big LAD MAGS and Page 3.

That’s the key difference between local busty girls willing to show their tits for money, and those from other countries, you see the locals have daddy issues, while the immigrants are just trying to make money to send back to daddy, making her a better quality person with better work ethic than the lazy British tits we’re used to. I can tell by her nipples. I’m a nipple reader.

Posted in:NSFW|Sabine Jemeljanova

2013

11

Apr

Georgia May Jagger Modeling Bikinis in Australia of the Day

No Comments »

Georgia May Jagger is Mick Jagger’s interesting looking gapped tooth big lip model who along with being big in fashion, allows those of you who always wondered what getting a blowjob from Mick Jagger’s dick sucking lips, but were too afraid to admit to yourself, because that would be gay, despite his dainty body, now you have a vagina and tits that model bikinis to materialize that fantasy that you will never admit you have.

I think she’s a babe, so the more work she gets in her heiress life, the more I’ll stare and not just because her trust fund is one big enough for me to Van Gogh my dick and mail it to her in hopes she eats it and realizes the sacrifices I have made for our love, after freezing some of my retard sperm, cuz when it comes to Georgia Jagger, that’s the retirement plan.

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger

2013

11

Apr

Gwyneth Paltrow in a Bathing Suit for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

No Comments »

Gwyneth Paltrow showed off her skinny old lady mom body for Harper’s Bazaar, and as much as people shit on her for her insanity, I appreciate that she’s not fat, because fat chicks are the fucking worst…to look at, to fuck, to smell, to sit next to on the bus…and I am going to endorse this Paltrow twat in whatever spiritual fucked up rich kid shit she is doing…whether it is eating Vegan or breast feeding her family while braiding her fucking pussy hair, the key is that she’s still skinny enough to look at and not.

Society has gone fat and hate skinny people who try to be healthy. It’s like if you’re not eating a burger, you’re a fucking loser, and the side-effect to all that skinny bitches, which happen to be my favorite, are a dying breed. It’s tragic.

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow

2013

11

Apr

Who Is Claudia Romani of the Day

No Comments »

If you read the internet and I am going to assume you don’t if you’re visiting this site, then you’ve probably seen paparazzi pics of this Claudia Romani character in her bikini on the beach in Miami, and if you’re not like me, and don’t actually care about these random sluts the paparazzi take pics of, you’ve probably tried to figure out what slow day was going on for the paparazzi to bother with an average looking “italian model” who probably isn’t a model.

I’m gonna assume that she’s just sleeping with the paparazzi, he submits them to the agency he works for, they run with it cuz they like bikini pics blogs post her cuz they like bikini pics, but ultimately, she’s a total nobody, who takes a lot of selfies and is average looking at best….but at least she’s figured out this bullshit, how to get noticed system, cuz I’m talking about her, and only because she’s everywhere in a fucking bikini.

Here are a bunch of her selfies from instagram I pulled from all my research.

To See the Rest of the Pics of her in a Bikini with a Hula Hoop….
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Claudia Romani

2013

11

Apr

Zoe Kravitz Bikini Top for Vaga Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

I kinda hate Zoe Kravitz. She’s just some Lisa Bonet x Lenny Kravitz, rich brat who has decided she’s a fashion model, or fashion icon, because the media wrote about how cool her style was, cuz the media loves rich kids of rockstars and light skinned bitches from the Cosby Show you may have masturabted to, cuz she was the most accessible for white America to accept in that black doctor who wasn’t just called the doctor cuz he was a drug dealer and lawyer who wasn’t just representing herself in court in their fantasy household…not that you remember the Cosby Show. That was 30 years ago.

The reason I kinda hate Zoe Kravitz is that when she peaked during her HARD NIPPLE PHOTOSHOOTS she blocked me on twitter and that’s just rude, a personality trait typical of cunty rich kids who have people everywhere stroking their ego cuz of who their parents are, but still behavior I hate.

Here she is in a bra or bikini top, sucking. The highlight of this photoshoot is that the magazine is called VAGINA

Posted in:Zoe Kravitz

2013

11

Apr

Juno Temple and Tara Holt Have a Message for You of the Day

1 Comment »

Here is a clip from a movie that is already out on DVD called Small Apartment, that I have never heard of, but that stars Juno Temple and Tara Holt. Based on this clip, they live together, have a peeper, and put on a show for him, letting them know they are onto him.

As a peeper, I feel this is so unrealistic, because everytime I’ve been caught staring into apartments the girls go nuts and call the police, especially when I climb their fire-escape to do it.

The idea of a girl getting off to being watched, is strictly for the porn movies and I guess mainstream movies, cuz girls say they like being watched, but they don’t actually mean it, cuz when it happens, all I hear is screams and panic.

That said, I think we can all appreciate this clip from the movie.

Posted in:Juno Temple|Tara Holt

2013

11

Apr

North Korean Female Soldiers are Slutty of the Day

1 Comment »

North Korea is so trendy now, so it would only make sense that so are their female soldiers, you know, stickin’ it to function footwear when they march, and doing what most Korean women I know do, slut out in 5 inch heels, but I guess that’s only because the only Korean women I know work at rub and tugs.

I don’t know, I guess the good news for North Korea is that the men aren’t wearing 5 inch heels, because that would probably lower their intimidation factor by alot, not that I don’t fear men in heels, especially when I bump into them in back alleys ready to rape, but because the rest of the world find that shit pansy cuz they’ve never been raped by a man in heels.

All this to say, I like this uniform, and like any dictator, I’d be doing the same thing, only my female soldiers would be in crotchless panties..

Posted in:stepNEWS

2013

11

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

I want to bridge the gender gap and one day become a stepGIRL. Their lives are more exciting than mine. But while I plan my strategy, to build the movement or organization and fight for equality…here’s an amazing stepGIRL to remind me why being a stepGIRL is everything I want…

Why should not being a girl stand in the way of my dreams. It’s 2013 people, equality for all.

Here are some morning links….

Some Model I’ve Never Heard of in her Bikini
GO

A Giant Penis Shuts Down a Racetrack in Germany
GO

Jason Segel is Writing a Young Adult Trilogy of Books
GO

News Reporter Farts on Live TV
GO

30 THings You Don’t Care to Know About Anna Kendrick
GO

Girls Tugging on their Clothes!
GO

Hot Bikini Models Doing Hot Ab Exercises
GO

A Dozen Donuts in 45 Seconds
GO

50 Weird American Laws
GO

The VS That – Dogs vs Cats
GO

Elizabeth Moss in GQ
GO

Virtual Reality Sex is Closer Than You Think!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS