DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

09

Aug

Miranda Kerr Naked for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Miranda Kerr is strategically naked in Harper’s Bazaar, showing off her awesome body without showing any mom Labia or nipples, but still suggestive enough to remind me how I am making this a high fashion site slowly, and marking my fashion as being no-fashion, hoping it becomes all the rage….an anti-social, social networking, anti-fashion fashionista….who is in it for the tits….that is what my business card would read if I thought this was a business and/or got off my ass to make it one….Always winning when you’re DrunkenStepfather……

Miranda Kerr, despite being a mom, something I hate in women, even though I am a stepfather, is pretty fucking substantial!

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2012

09

Aug

Kim Kardashian is Unfortunately in a Bikini of the Day

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Kim Kardashian is a fucking pig, but unlike most pigs, unless you’re dealing with a weird farmer, she wears a bikini….a bikini that she poses next to old women in, or busted down sisters in, and that she posts to her own site that I am surprised exists and people care to visit, but I’m not surprised they photoshop her in….

The real significant or major difference between her and a pig, is that it is not legal to slaughter her….but it is legal to slaughter pigs…who are likely more intelligent but more importantly less demaging to society…..

Sure a lot of pigs have accounted for food poisoning, or mad pig disease, but no pig has had the global negative affect that Kim Kardashian has…meaning their deaths all legal were less neccessary than the death of the Kardashians….and our only hope is that OJ gets them when he gets out…or that they get themselves…cuz they need to be put to an end…

If you like fat spoiled bitches who don’t think they are fat or spoiled…these pics are for you…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2012

09

Aug

Candice Swanepoel in her Bikini for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I hate Victoria’s Secret, but I can stare at a half naked Candice Swanepoel for days, I know this, becasue I have done it. She is perfection and the benchmark I put all girls against, so if you don’t think you are as good as she is, you probably aren’t, and I think it is important you know that makes you less of a woman…sure someone will fuck you, someone will knock you up, but you’re never gonna be the hottest person to them…you got a life of feeling inadequate ahead of you….but don’t worry, so do I….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

09

Aug

Irina Shayk Modeling Bikinis for Some Colombian Bikini Company of the Day

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Irina Shayk is awesome……that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2012

09

Aug

Doutzen Kroes for Victoria’s Secret’s Latest Catalog of the Day

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I figure today is a good day to revisit the days we used to jerk off to Victoria’s Secret catalogs, you know afer signing up to them with fake girl names, back before the internet existed, because the caliber and concept behind the catalog shots is like a fucking time warp, even if the models have changed….and I guess I am thinking about old masturbation memories because it was a simpler time when busting nut came without digging deep into dirty places that are borderline criminal places thanks to being desensitized as shit….

Doutzen Kroes…is pretty alright…..

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2012

09

Aug

Chanelle Hayes Topless for NUTS August of the Day

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The world needs more Glamour Models….This Chanelle Hayes bitch, showing her tits, reminds us all that it is not the natural beauty of a girl that is important, but the willingness to get topless in photoshoots….because seriously, she’s making money showing her tits, while so many hotter girls than her are just wasting the fuck away at office jobs like a bunch of fucking idiots….take her lead….

Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|NSFW

2012

09

Aug

Deepika Padukone in Latex for GQ India of the Day

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This is my attempt to lure all one billion Indian people into my trap….I need India as my fan…I need to be hired to make public appearances in their markets…I need my own TV show on India TV…..Using pics of their celebrities in latex who I have never heard of named Deepika….who I’d probably like to get Deepika inside if I had a penis capable of going deep….especially in her latex….especially if it helped me get in with her people…..

Jessica Biel was Wet for GQ India…I am pretty sure this are some seriously bootleg, dated, GQ shots of Jessica Biel from 1998, that they just allow their franchise over in India have access to their old database…but she looks good…

Posted in:Deepika Padukone|Jessica Biel

2012

09

Aug

Kristen Bell Bikini for Esquire of the Day

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Krisen Bell is old, overrated, boring, played out, not the girl I like to have as the hot main character of any movie I’ve seen her in….but the girl I’d like to replace with a hot younger girl with bigger tits to be the main character of movies I’ve seen her in….As far as I’m concerned, she’s just low level, but managed to get a few good hits, even though all her movie roles should be the straight to DVD kind, cuz she’s that kind of girl…even her bikini pics in Esquire are uneventful, even boring…I guess when you’re a teen dream, but pushing 35….shit becomes more of a nightmare….

Posted in:Krisen Bell

2012

09

Aug

Joanna Krupa Nipple Slip for some Photoshoot of the Day

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Joanna Krupa is the kind of girl who did Dancing with the Stars before being a star. You know a girl on a mission to milk her escaping communism by getting some implants, and doing some really low level marketing campaigns, that made her a household name to the very active Maxim subscriber….while the average guy didn’t give a fuck about her….other than appreciating the fact that she had a hot body…if faced with a picture of her…you know what I mean, hot pussy, not very memorable…

Well I guess she is at a crossroad in her caree, where she has to figure out how to make noise, now that her one bottom feeding stunt, Dancing with the Stars is over….I am sure her fingers are crossed that they do a reunion special, or a greatest hits and she makes the cut, cuz after that kind of play, it is all downhill from there….Never was, never will be, just getting older and haggered….let’s show some tit and get talked about…works for me.

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Posted in:Joanna Krupa|NSFW

2012

09

Aug

Jennifer Lawrence Big Cameltoe of the Day

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I assume Jennifer Lawrence has a serious nerd following thanks to her recent nerd movie she signed up for that I can only assume some nerds have masturbated to robots they have made in their basements that are in her image….making these pics of some pant jacked up her cunt some serious exciting progress in her sell-out, twilight approach to making money and establishing a career, despite being Oscar nominated and average looking at best, cuz blockbuster shit, mean hits and hits mean she’s got work the next few years without having to release a sex tape….too bad….but at least she’s giving us some pussy definition in her pants…

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Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence