DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Bella Thorne Titty in Paris of the Day

Pixie Lott Pushing Up The Tits of the Day

Kendall Jenner Wore a Nipple Dress for Fashion of the Day

Did Heather Graham Have Real Sex in Nowhere of the Day

Pregnant Margot Robbie’s Sheer Shirt of the Day

2010

Dec

Pam Anderson’s Playboy Cover of the Day

8 Comments »

No this isn’t a blast from the past, it is Pam Anderson holding onto the past, because the only thing that ever really did anything for her was her Playboy job, since then, it’s been all down hill, especially now. From Dancing with the Stars to being cast on some India Big Brother, she’s desperate, so seeing her photoshopped to shit like she’s not 50 years old with hepatitis is funny…but I don’t have the nude pics…Playboy is holding out on me because I guess they know everyone is gonna point and laugh when it hits on Friday, making this their biggest issue in a long time…but here are some cropped pics to give you a preview of what to expect….

The biggest joke in all this is that she wrote a poem to go with her bottom feeding. I didn’t read it, but I will post it…

Posted in:Pam Anderson

2010

Dec

Mena Suvari’s Topless Sex Scene in Garden of Eden of the Day

8 Comments »

I find Mena Suvari disgusting. If anything, I find her a fucking monster. I am so not into her that I wrote this post about her that was totally sci-fi and I’m scared of all things sci-fi, especially sci-fi fans…

But today is pretty fucking boring when it comes to celebrity nudity or other things that barely interest me but that I find myself writing about cuz I have nothing else going on.

So this clip of her useless tits in some sex scenes from some movie that may be from 2008 that just got released here called Garden of Eden, is pretty much the best the day has to offer….Enjoy the weirdness….

Posted in:Mena Suvari

2010

Dec

Inguna Butane for Vogue Mexico of the Day

1 Comment »

I’ve never heard of Inguna Butane, but since I’m into fashion photography for softcore pornography cuz real pornography bores me cuz the bitches are half retarded, barely attractive and the sex is always the same….sure I guess the fact that are willing to get fucked dirty on camera is alright…but I know people and the ones willing to do that for money are never top tier pussy…..but for some reason fashion pays better and for some reason just showing some tit, nipple or pussy in that context seems okay to these bitches….because it means advancing their career, or being in some magazine they always wished to get into…and that for some reason really works for me.

It’s like they get naked cuz they don’t want to go against the photographer or the vision of the shoot, like they know they are getting paid to be there and do what they are told, like a hooker, without all the baggage, cuz really they are just under 30 year old hot girls who think they are contributing to their industry.

I haven’t cracked the code behind this fashion model scam, but I know I like what’s going on.

So here’s Inguna, a 24 year old who has walked the Victoria’s Secret show 3 times already, showing some tit for Vogue Mexico. Mexico hasn’t delivered anything this good, other than the day I was born. Right?

Posted in:Inguna Butane

2010

Dec

The Kardashian’s Christmas Card of the Day

10 Comments »

What the fuck is going on in this photoshopped to shit Kardashian Christmas card but I know it’s really obnoxious, trashy, tacky, embarrassing, hysterical, maybe even erotic cuz you know how much dick has been inside these lazy bitches as they lived off their OJ trial inheritance before becoming pornstars with black dudes….it is so bad that it has got to be a joke….

The good news is that it is the season of Christmas Miracles and if that is true, then maybe we’ll be lucky enough for them to get in a bus accident on the way to church or wherever the fuck they go as a group, where they are all in the same place at the same time…it’s one of those Goodwill toward man situations that I’ve got on my Christmas list along with the ability to get an erection and a decent pussy to use that erection on as well as winning the lottery, a luxury villa, my wife’s mysterious disappearance and much more good stuff I’ll have to get into over the next week cuz I can’t give out all my Christmas Cheer in one shitty Kardashian Christmas card post….

To See The Rest of these Pics
Follow This Link

Posted in:The Kardashians

2010

Dec

Christina Aguilera is Some Kind of Weirdness of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t get what’s going on with Christina Aguilera, I just know that it’s fucking weird. There is absolutely nothing attractive about her. Pretty much all of her is shit. From her fucked uo looking face that may or may not have been accidented, to her sloppy, thick, fat girl body, it’s just a fucking mess on some retired stripper recovering from a meth addiction by replacing it with a donut addiction picking up her half black kid at school look and I am really not into it….I like my strippers young and fresh faces just doing it to get by who are dabbling with E and Speed but haven’t yet gone meth deep…..

I don’t get why she’s not showing off her fake tits at the Burlesque bottom feeding to get attention for their shitty movie tour, cuz at least when she does that like she was Katy Perry I can distract myself from everything horrible about her that I just can’t ignore when her tits are being neglected…not that you care….you’d fuck anything…so here she is lookin’ like shit.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2010

Dec

Gwyneth Paltrow is Unfortunately in a Revealing Dress of the Day

1 Comment »

I really have absolutely nothing to say about Gwyneth Paltrow. I wouldn’t care if this dress magically rotated exposing her weathered mom pussy, even if had a tampon half sticking out of it, or if there was gerbil tail hanging out of it, or even if she had a midget under the dress, strapped to her leg with his arm up in her, because I’ve never had any interest in this bitch. She is ugly. She is boring. There is nothing erotic about her, skin exposed or not….

She is a product of her father, she only got work cuz of her father, she is only famous cuz of her father and if he didn’t hook her up and wasn’t who he was, she’d probably be a secretary or something equally uninteresting that nobody would notice….

So even with her fame, I am a firm believer that she should be ignored, especially with threats like this of her showing off her genitals, and that’s exactly what I am not doing by posting this picture….She’s won this time…..

To See The Rest of the Pictures
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow

2010

Dec

Angelina Jolie Skinny Old Lady of the Day

No Comments »

When I look at Anglina Jolie, I don’t think about her great tits that are probably fake in that movie about the lesbian model with AIDS. I don’t think about the attention seeking bad girl who fucked a lot of people and played up her gothic good looks to be the hottest thing in Hollywood for a minute or two. I don’t think about her being this compulsive mother trying to save the world with both her womb and the womb of other third world country woman as she takes their kids and make them her own, mainly cuz I don’t buy into her bullshit.

I just think about when she was in Montreal a bunch of years ago and my friend was selling more cocaine to her in a day than he would normally sell in a week and I just like that cuz she’s rich, famous, successful and loved by the media thanks to good PR people, doesn’t mean anything you read or hear about her is legit, and if you strip off the designer clothes she’s not that much different that a common street hooker….

Not that you care.

Here is her skilly little old lady body pretending she’s something she’s not. Good Times.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie

2010

Dec

Kristin Cavallari Optimizing her Tits to Hold onto What She Had of the DAy

No Comments »

I feel like a loser posting pictures of a girl showing cleavage like it’s a big deal. I don’t care whether the girl in the picture is the most successful, most desirable, or most useless bitch around. I don’t care if she’s local or international, I just know writing about tits like they matter is some serious virgin loser shit that I am ashamed of.

That said, Kristin Cavallari got an invite to an event, something I doubt has been happening as much as her Laguna Beach stardom 5 years ago, and I just thought it was funny to see her maximizing her little tits as hard as she could to get some low level attention like this. It’s like if she tried to get more out of her tits than this, she woulda been walking around topless, and if she tried to squeeze more out of them, they would probably start to bleed….and I just like to encourage this because it often ends in sex tapes.

Fame is addictive and when it is gone, these idiots do all they fucking can.

To See the Rest of the Pics
Follow This Link

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2010

Dec

Abbey Lee Kershaw’s Amazing Bush for i-D of the Day

6 Comments »

I am going through a bush period. I’m talking thick, pillow in her panties, real deal fucking bush that hasn’t been tampered with phase. I’m talking bush so long that when it gets wet it clumbs together in sexual bliss.

I fucking love bush. It comes and goes and is directly corelated to the pussy I go down on. You see if I eat out a chick with a nasty matted bush with chunks of god knows what in it, I get turned off bush for a while, and if I go down on a bald bitch and face her meaty cunt that sticks and is flaking from god know’s what, I crave getting back to bush.

I think this bush wave has come because I was ready to switch things up. I was bored of bald. If anything bald is lazy. It’s much easier to shave it off than to try to maintain and style it. Just as any balding dude you know.

Most strippers and hookers are totally bald. Most girls you meet in bars are totally bald. They think they are suppsed to be thanks to Jersey shore and the only pussy with a little bush was hipster, hippie, or lesbian…

It’s not like how it used to be in the 80s and 90s when everyone, from hot to lesbian had bush and I’m glad to see this 23 year old model Abbey Lee bring it. Seriously.

Everyone thank i-D magazine for making this happen. Fashion porn is my favorite and my tears from trying to masturbate to this proves it.

Posted in:Abbey Lee Kershaw

2010

Dec

Hilary Duff Thickness to Start the Day of the Day

3 Comments »

I am a pretty inconsistent person. Some people have said that I am unstable, schizo, a sociopath, bipolar and a lot of other shit, but really it’s none of that, sometimes I dig a thick bitch with a thick ass, it’s all womanly and I want to bury myself inside her uterus like I was her husbands semen fertilizing her eggs….but this isn’t a biology class….

Sometimes, I point and laugh at her thickness she accumlated to deal with her homosexual hockey husband in the lockerroom telling stories about Hilary to lure his teammates home to initiate her pussy and the new teammates while he masturbates in the corner….other times I like the fact that she’s a dirty little puck slut who likes to accommodate.

Either way, I am feeling these pics….she’s lookin hot, or maybe I am I just horny….who knows…

Posted in:Hilary Duff