DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day

Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day

Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day

Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day

Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2010

May

Some Pimp Premiere Brings out the UK Trash of the Day

2 Comments »

There was some premiere for something called Pimp in the UK and I didn’t bother looking up what it was because I figure none of us really give a fuck, I just thought it was funny that all the tacky Glamour pussy whores you’d expect to be pornstars, strippers or dinner workers who somehow managed to make it into some weird subculture of garbage bitches in sex store outfits, took full advantage of an event called Pimp while they are clearly whores and made an appearance,

So here are some pig fake looking women named Sophie Reade, Bianca Gascoigne, Alicia Duvall and other whores who were in attendance…and not to make you jealous or anything, but reminds me of my typical Saturday night, cuz women like this are easy to buy even when you’re fucking poor and on a budget.

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Glamour Models|Pimp Premiere|UK Trash

2010

May

Daniela Cannavaro Does the Shrek in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

This is some serious troll pussy….I figure she got a little too into the whole Shrek is making another movie shit and decided she’ll do everything in her power to look like the motherfucker cuz she’s such a serious fan…I really don’t understand this situation, but it is apparently a soccer player and his wife on the beach, only his wife isn’t hot groupie pussy, it’s some pig shit that you probably wouldn’t notice unless the bar was closing and you had a boner you needed to tend to but didn’t have the 50 dollars for street hooker pussy….I mean is this soccer player a queer frontin’, is this some faggot shit that ends with HIV, is he looking for someone who feels like his mother, or does this bitch have dirt on him that she can extort him with, or maybe it’s for citizenship, but I know there is no way this is by choice…cuz even if she has big tits, she has big everything else, broad as farm equipment and it scares me cuz in my fantasy world girls like this don’t exist…but you may like it and it is in a bikini…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Daniela Cannavaro

2010

May

Aly Michalka’s Fake Lookin’ Tits of the Day

10 Comments »

This is not a Paris Hilton impersonator, this is Aly Michalka who probably wishes she was as famous as Paris Hilton, because otherwise she wouldn’t do her hair like her, or dress like her in tight dressesr that you can make out her vagina mound in or magic push-up bras that make small tits look fake…

She was some Disney contract star with her sister and she probably slept with all the same execs Miley Cyrus did on her quest for fame and acceptance at a young age that sucking dick makes dreams come true especially in the Magic Kingdom…..only she isn’t as famous as Miley Cyrus, but she is trying to show off some tit to get noticed and it’s a start that should be acknowledged….

We gotta give Disney credit for breeding some of the best whores in the industry…they get them at a young age, show them the ropes and we get to watch their decline….

Here she is with Ashley Tisdale cuz Ashley Tisdale is the default pussy you stand next to if you want to look better than you actually do cuz Ashley Tisdale is Ugly…

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Aly Michalka|Tits

2010

May

Kate Plus 8 Bikini Pics of the Day

5 Comments »

My idea of good TV is not seeing a bitch who has had 8 kids like a fucking stray dog in a bikini, cuz even stray dogs get saggy pussies and sloppy bodies and awkwardly big nipples after they’ve been forced into backyard breeding, and they are designed to have 8 kids at a time, while humans aren’t….so seeing Kate Gosselin, the lesbian who took fertility drugs to create her own village, and exploit her own village, because she had an idea for a TV show, and breeding was the only way to live out her dreams, in a bikini is pretty fucking disgusting, cuz even after months of Dancing with the Stars despite not being a star, her body looks like an abused mess, and I can only assume her pussy is worse, otherwise this opportunist would have released a sex tape by now, but instead keeps her junk underwraps…and I’m not sure why she’s with that Bill Clinton lookin’ motherfucer…but I am sure it isn’t sexual, since he doesn’t have a pussy, and I really don’t care about this pig or her show….or her bikini pcis…but I am posting them anyway.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Gosselin|Kate Plus 8

2010

May

Lady Gaga Bird Faced and Tanning of the Day

3 Comments »

I love these stalker pictures because it makes me feel like I am in on the perverted peeping tom, only I don’t get the thousands of dollars for getting the picture, I just get to look at them….not that I like looking at pictures of Lady Gaga ever, especially when they pretty much show nothing but Gaga’s weird weak-chinned, big-nosed, bird face, but she is covered up in a fucking t-shirt so that her shitty pasty skin doesn’t get a fucking burn or some shit and that is something worth celebrating, because I don’t want to see Gaga naked, I find her a monster with no sex appeal and I hate that she already pollutes our lives with her disgusting half naked body, so it’s nice to see that in her downtime, she knows shit is really fucking inappropriate and that no one really wants to see her disgustingness, while I thought she was fame-hungry enough to be fisting her ass and playing with her balls while clamping her sloppy tits to get noticed….but I guess she’s finally getting broken down by all the attention and is tired of living her lie, so it’s just a matter of time before she is forgotten which will end with her suicide…cuz she’s cliche and thinks that’s poetic and I’m happy about that, cuz I’m ready for Gaga to end.

Here are some pics of her getting off the boat I wish sank when she was on it – and she’s back in costume – living her lie – pantsless….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Tanning

2010

May

Sophie Turner’s Booty Can’t be Real of the Day

8 Comments »

I don’t understand Sophie Turner, who she is, or what she does, but I do understand that she’s a typical whore, who claims to be a Lawyer in Australia, who I guess always had an interest in being a Galmor Model whore with fake tits….but I do understand that her booty can’t be real….asses just don’t look like that, maybe it’s the way she’s posing or some camera tricks, but I’m thinking she’s got some padding jacking her shit up, literally and despite hating these attention whore, plastic, fake, obvious pussy cuz I find it played out, dated and boring, I gotta support any ass that sticks out like a shelf….even if it is on nobody special….who has a long career of getting fucked by black dudes, probably athletes ahead of her….livin’ the American Dream.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Booty|Sophie Turner

2010

May

Mischa Barton is Scary as Fuck of the Day

8 Comments »

Mischa Barton is a fucking wreck. Maybe this is the aftermath of being the second line pussy on some teen TV show that made getting more work impossible after the series fell apart. But I like to think it has to do with being eaten up by the media, leading to her drinking and popping pills to feel good about herself, eventually giving up on showering and caring about herself, leaving her a fat sloppy mess I’m just wating to see overdose, cuz it’s time for another Hollywood suicide…..and looking at her freaky fucking face in a wedding dress is scarier than her breakout role as the dead girl under the bed in the Sixth Sense you all wanted to fuck cuz she was at her hottest, perverts….I feel like we don’t need to do the Deathwatch anymore, she’s already dead on the inside, sure her heart is pumping but there’s no fucking soul behind these glassed over eyes, like a brain dead vegetable in the hospital and I say it is time to pull the fucking plug…..but on the positive side, she’s got pretty rockin’ tits in this wedding dress she’s modeling, reminding me that now is a good time to move in on her because she’s desperate, cuz she’s probably better to fuck than the old ladies I tried to recruit at the old folks home into putting me into her will, and I can only hope there’s at least one opportunist working his way into securing this Mischa Barton as his prime zombie bride, cuz girls who drug up themselves to make bad decisions are better than girls you have to drug to make bad decsions, because you can’t get arrested for the shit…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:cleavage|Mischa Barton|Scary

2010

May

Nina Dobrev in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

Here’s some Canadian 21 year old who is on some show called the Vampire Diaries and she’s in a bikini. I’ve been hearing a lot about her over the last few months, maybe it’s because I am in Canada and Canada gets hard for their 5 actors who landed gigs in the USA, or maybe it’s cuz people want to fuck her, and I guess why wouldn’t they, she’s 21 and pussy is at its fucking prime at 21, since it knows how to fuck better than 18, because 18 is a little shy and conservative, but it is not as damaged as 25 where a few break-ups have thrown them into “slut” phases….but from an objective point of view, she’s got a pretty shitty fucking ass. I’m not sure if it is flat, or if it is fat, but I do know she should do some fucking squats, cuz some shape is lacking….but I’m not complaining cuz a bitch in a bikini is a bitch in a bikini….even if that bikini is jacked the fuck up like it’s designed for a post pregnant 40 year old who is trying to wear a bikini to be hip but wants to hide those unflattering stretch marks…but whatever….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Nina Dobrev

2010

May

Julie Bowen’s Breast Feeding Picture of the Day

8 Comments »

George Lopez aired this picture of Julie Bowen from Modern Family breast feeding her twins….because he is a cable show and I guess they are allowed to get away with that kind of thing…despite seeing two leeches sucking the life out of a breast being disgusting to me….but for some reason thought to be beautiful to mom’s around the world cuz nurturing alien looking things after bringing them to the world is something they think is so fucking amazing despite almost every pussy having a window of opportunity where they are capabale of doing the same fucking thing,

It’s like being so proud of your shit that you out of the toilet and dry it out and show it to your neighbors cuz you’re proud, because we all have the fucking capacity to do the shit, some of us ust don’t choose to do it….so there’s no need to fucking brag….

It’s like making babies makes fucking egos…like they think cuz they care so much about it, the rest of the world will, and really I have no problem with a bitch showing off tit under any context or circustance…and that’s part of the reason I take every opportunity I get to watch girls who breast feed in public with deep fucking interest….like enough interest to make them feel uncomfortable when they notice me staring at them, which opens the window for me to say something like “this is such a beautiful sight, it represents life, you are so lucky to be able to do this, it is like your calling in life as a mother” and they usually smile and let me watch til they finish.

Posted in:Breast Feeding|Julie Bowen

2010

May

Doutzen Kroes by Terry Richardson for June’s US Vogue of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t know how I feel about Terrry Richardson because I know that he’s a bullshit rip off artist who did nothing innovative, he just did it right, because he had rich friends and tricked the fashion world into thinking he was this fucking visionary, when all he was doing was taking amateur style borderline softcore pornographic pictures, which is nothing innovative but it is fucking awesome….leaving me confused as to whether I should hate the guy for being an obvious rich kid trying to be some deep artist/hipster/idiot I can’t stand, or if I should appreciate the fact that he gets most bitches he shoots posing semi-erotic because he’s tricked them into thinking shooting with him is “huge’ for their career making them willing to do anything for him, and unfortunately for us, he’s gone soft and corporate, cuz pics of bitches laying gold eggs are too hardcore for fashion mags, so Doutzen Kroes didn’t feel obligated to show some fucking nipple or pussy lip, but nude at the beach, even if covered up is still a decent starting point of a fantasy….so I’ll post it anyway…

Here are some pictures of Doutzen in Vogue Russia that actually show off her big model body….

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Terry Richardson|Vogue