I don’t know how long this Desperate Housewives shit is going to go on for, but I do know that the ladies are starting to age in a pretty major way and that they should consider changing the name to Desperate Retirees.
Lookin at these pictures of Eva Longoria, I can tell they had to strap this Mexican trying so hard to be white ditch pig up so tight that her ravaged married and sloppy ass still had the youthful perk. I’m talking the industrial sized SPANX to shape her in a way that wouldn’t make the average man forced to watch this shit because he is poor and only has one TV or is totally fucking owned by his wife and who does what she tells him because he traded in his balls for the married life years earlier, think to himself “she she really is a desperate housewife and now the one thing that was decent about this show and that allowed me to put up with watching the show has turned to shit like their tired fucking storyline”….. and here are the pics.
I think I should be putting Kristen Stewart on the death watch because she looks like she’s on some kind of drugs and is about to fucking die. I know this grimey disgusting stinky pussy look is her thing, but I have seen gutter street kids yelling at the brick wall while trying to clean out their crack pipe, look better and healthier than this….
I knew she was not all that good looking to begin with and that she was cast in Twilight so that all the ugly girls of America wouldn’t feel alienated by her looks and could relate and fantasize to the love story that made them all have their first teen orgasm ever, making Twilight actually pornographic material designed for teenage girls…. while taking an already ugly thing and give up on it turning it into some kind of greasy wreck of a thing you’d expect to find in a gutter, unhealthy and skinny and week makes Kristen Stewart actually pornographic material for me…but that’s just because I like my masturbation to involve girls who are ugly enough to be attainable and weak enough to be unable to run when I’ve got them cornered…I’m a romantic like that.
Here is United Nations babymaker Heidi Klum trying to break down German tradition and sterotype of eating sausage and sauerkrout before killing all things non-Aryan, by having a dozen kids with Seal, like she was some kind of farm animal…and the funny thing is that I’ve been seeing a lot more German women out there with Black boyfriends, husbands, baby daddies, like it’s a fucking trend to break their horrible reputation of the past…but I think it’s more of a sexual thing than a political thing, don’t let her wholesome mom face fool you, cuz I’ve see German porn and shit is on another level of crazy, that would probably require a very strong, huge-cocked black man to participate in by ripping them apart at the seam before getting shit on in some kind of bloody, stinky, poop covered mess. The baby-making is just a bi-product of that.
Either way, no matter how beat up, clamped up or ripped apart her pussy may be and no matter how much she likes being shit on, or shitting on black men, I still think she’s got it going on….so here are some pictures of her to remind us of what was….
I knew I didn’t like female ski racers back when I used to work at a local ski hill for a winter and I wouldn’t get excited when I’d see them all come in for lunch wearing their skin tight racing outfits, before people wore skin tight outfits out on the regular and back when skin tight outfits on girls would normally get me excited.
The female ski racers were never good looking, not even the low level ones who you knew were only ski racing cuz their dad had a fucking dream for them…and that dream was that they were actually boys and not girls…these ski racers look like fucking dudes, with huge muscular legs and asses that were homosexual to get off to or even admit you kinda liked.
I guess the good looking girls were too busy being good looking and going to the mall to flirt with boys instead of trying to break speed records with the boys….where the good looking girls would learn about what really matters in life, like dressing hot and being sluts…instead of wasting their time being the pride of the country and their mountain, who rock goggle tanlines and horrible outfits their sponsors give them for free as a sign of accomplishment…
So it’s no surprise that when she tried to get dolled up for Larry King, she failed in terms of winning the medal for best dressed, but she won the gold for wearing unintentional see thru shirts….a gold that doesn’t get me excited sexually when normally it would, because she’s built like a strong homeboy who I’d call to help move furniture or a hero I’d ask to climb up a tree to save my kitten and not a scared, weak girl who needs me to nurture her back to health after running away from home and ending up on the street begging for change who I’d normally go for by before stepping up and offering her a couple bucks in exchange for blowjobs, if you know what I mean….
It always impresses me when I see moms who look like Elle Macpherson, not that it happens ever, but it would impress me if I did, because moms just aren’t supposed to look worth fucking sober.
I am sure her baby daddy feels pretty fucking lucky that the mother of his kids is this easy to look at, but then again, I am sure her baby daddy fucks a lot hotter younger pussy than her, as he is probably really fucking rich, cuz models don’t really have kids with people who aren’t really fucking rich, it’s against their rules….
All I do know is that Elle Macpherson is fucking up my theory that pussy dies at 30. I traditionally hate older bitches but because older bitches usually expire. THe let themselves sag, droop, eat whatever they fucking want, turn disgusting and feel entitled cuz they are busy raising kids…bullshit….sure, she doesn’t work, she has nannies, she has a trainer who she pays more than most executives make a year, and it’s her fucking livlihood to stay lookin’ this good, but I just wish more women had that same drive and treated lookin’ good like it was their job. It would make parent-teacher night I sometimes sneak into at the local elementary school lookin’ for eager, desperate single-moms willing to support me, a lot more fun.
Charlize Theron is from South Africa and for any of you who know anything about South Africa, you will know that there were laws passed in the 1940s for the preferential treatment of whites. The set up three categories of people, The Whites, The Blacks and the Colored and there were White only jobs, blacks couldn’t marry the whites and it went on into the late 70s and early 80s, meaning Charlize Theron was raised on this racist shit in her youth….explaining why she has a black driver and as nice and warm as she is to the motherfucker, you know hugging and kissing him goodbye like they are best friends, he’s still her fucking limo driver, something typical of the Apartheid when married white women would let their hired black labor take time off to teach their lonely pussies a lesson, no matter how good of a job they do, or how much they fall in love with each other, or how exciting it is to be so naughty and criminal, they still send them back out to the fuckin’ field to shovel elephant shit, or whatever the fuck kinda shit they have in Africa, cuz they are still blacks and those are just the fuckin’ rules. I guess you can’t break down the shit your parents taught you, it’s kinda etched into your fuckin’ brain and her racism doesn’t upset me, I think she’s fuckin’ hot, whether she considers me an equal citizen or member of society or not…
I think the end is here – or at least near because I am fucking sick and I am that annoying asshole you all hate who gets a cold and transforms into a little fucking girl because I can’t deal with it like a fucking man….or even like a woman because I am not resiliant, I am weak and pathetic and in pain…
So here are my stepLINKS while I curl up and die….
I’m the Last Person to Give Anyone Parenting Advice, but I Suppose Alcoholism, Drug Abuse and Domestic Violence *May* Not Be the Best Place to Raise Children GO
Today In Shitty Reality TV Publicity Stunts: Some Other Slut is Saying She’s a Dyke GO
Hottest Student Bodies: Top 50 Universities Ranked By Looks GO
Well this picture is a huge fucking disappointment….not that I thought Jessica Simpson would actually post pictures of her getting cumshots to her face, but you never fucking know with these crazy bitches who crave male attention cuz they can’t keep a man and their baby sister has already started a family, while she is just stuck nurturing a fear of dying along….she needs to step it up…spa days doesn’t equal husbands…she might as well be posting pictures of her fucking cats playing with yarn in some accepted her fate as a single desperate woman kinda depressing shit…
Some people who stay at fancy hotels have a nice, friendly, happy girl at the front desk calling them so that they don’t miss their plane. Some people who live in nice homes have a luxurious alarm clock that wakes them up to soothing music to start their day off right, other people have shit like “UV” alarm clocks that simulate the sunrising in their rooms, some people like me wake up when we have to go throw up our insides all over the toilet because the older we get the less our stomach can handle the nightly hard drinking…..wll other people wake up to a stream of fucking piss from annoying dudes who think it’s funny that you’re asleep on the fuckin’ sidewalk and as bad as this may be, because maybe the woman isn’t right mentally, or maybe she’s an addict and needed the money they paid her to do this to her, or maybe they are just dicks and thought it was funny, but it is the life she chose for herself so don’t feel bad laughing at this…not that you would…
With a little photoshop and little clothes Audrina is fuckin’ rockin, so I’m not sure why her career is based on her not being half naked and photoshopped. I seriously would not hate her nearly as much as I do if she just embraced what she was supposed to be doing, instead of polluting TV and events like some kind of fucking joke she clearly is on the regular, when she could just be releasing pictures of her naked or topless on the regular instead. Sure, I’m not a manager or agent, and if I was all I would be doing is trying to get the bitches in as little clothing as possible, but I am a man and I can tell you that in Audrina’s case, it would really make her a valid contribution to society, instead of the stain on society she’s become, so let’s just hope this is a preview of what’s to come, because if she’s capable of this, she’s capable of more, dirtier and better shit, just as soon as she gets her head out of her ass and realizes this is all she has going for her….
