DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

Ariel Winter Puts her Pussy in Her Man’s Face and Flashes Tit of the Day

Mom Sophie Turner in Lingerie for the Game of Thrones Perverts of the Day

Bella Thorne Fitness of the Day

Julianne Hough Defends Being Skinny in a Fat World of the Day

2010

Mar

The Precious Audition for Fat Teenage Girl Fetishists of the Day

6 Comments »

Acting is funny. It’s like this is all made up. Bitch is sitting in a room talking to a woman and acting all hysterical. This is the kind of thing that gets you arrested if you do this kind of shit in the mall or at the drugstore or pretty much anywhere, but in Gabourey Sidibe’s defense, they showed her a bucket of chicken, two big macs and some chilli fries before this audition and said “read the fucking lines or you’ll never get to eat again” and hysterics, tears and bullshit ensued. Sure she’s an easy target…but don’t blame me for that…blame her pant size…if they even make pants in her size.

On a sidenote she got cast on a TV show, but unfortunately for her it wasn’t celebrity fit club….if she doesn’t do something she is gonna die…but then again I’ve been force feeding my wife for a decade hoping her obesity would make her die but all it’s done is made her more annoying, harder to deal with and more disgusting now that I have to wipe her ass 4 times a day.

On an influenced by the trash in Precious note…here’s an inspiring story about teenage lust and love…

Posted in:Gabourey Sidibe|Precious

2010

Mar

Whitney Port Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I would rather not be spending my time writing about low level barely celebrities who will never actually be celebrities, especially when they are on the beach, mainly because I want to be on the fucking beach. I don’t want to be famous and I’m really not talented or capable of even being a low level reality star, since I’m only good at drinking, socially awkward and uncomfortable waking up and doing things, but I wouldn’t mind having a little bit of their money for being the useless fuck that I am, so that I could just do absolutely nothing but walk around in the sun and stare at my tits all day…that’s not to say I am jealous of Whitney Port and her shitty body or flat ass, it’s just to reaffirm that I’m a fucking loser who writes about people like Whitney Port who most people don’t even know and her shitty body and flat ass in a bikini, like she’s some more important than any of us, when really she’s a fucking nothing.

I guess that just makes me part of the fucking problem, but I’m in too deep now and too lazy to step it and do something substantial, but I just want you to know that I know there’s so much more to life that this trash the media already shoves down our throats, but I’ll just post the pics anyway….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port

2010

Mar

Jessica Simpson is Letting All This Attention Get to her Head of the Day

8 Comments »

The biggest mistake John Mayer could have made was telling the public that Jessica Simpson was sexual napalm in bed. Shit was Oprah and all over the media and brought over-night attention to Jessica Simpson. The dude from Hurt Locker wante to get into her Hurting “ovaries that wants to get their egg fertilized so that she will have a family and be as happy as her little sister who shouldn’t have had babies before her and the fact that she hasn’t been able to keep a man makes her feel like a bigger loser than she is, while giving her something new to love and care or even though she’s not very good at taking care of things proven in her dogs abduction and killed by coyotes because she is a bad mother and not good a lookin’ after things…Locker…and Ryan Philippe who will probably like these pictures since he has a history of fat bitches…

Either way, she’s boxy, she’s thick, I’d still love to suck her used tampons, but I have no standards and you’re in hollywood bitch, step up your fucking game and drop the texan BBQ.

I spoke too soon…it looks lik Jessica Simpson’s replaced her dog, because when you’re a bad dog mother you don’t get arrested like when you’re a bad real mother, and they let you get as many dogs as you want, no forced sterilization here…and for those of you who don’t care about her neediness, you can look at her tits

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Fat|Jessica Simpson

2010

Mar

Khloe Kardashian is a Monster with a Hard Nipple of the Day

12 Comments »

I love the fabric of the dress Monster Kardashian is wearing. I’ve been seeing it a lot on girls in bars, on the street and pretty much everywhere and it’s some kind of fake leather-lookin’ shit that for some reason gives girls hard nipples.

I don’t know what it is about this fabric that makes nipples hard, but it must be magic or at least created by some kind of pervert…..because even Monster Kardashian, a creature who must have a huge set of testicles, the fabric still fuck makes the motherfucker’s nipples hard.

And since I love nipples, this post is more to encourage more girls to wear this kind of shirt, like actual girls and not ones who look like they belong in gay porn, and not to celebrate Khloe Kardashian…I just want to make that clear…because there is nothing worth celebrating when it comes to Khloe Kardashian…except maybe when the someone shoots her when she tries to attack them at their campground or some shit…in a mount that paw and turn it into an end table kind of way…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2010

Mar

Michael J. Fox’s Wife in a Bathing Suit of the Day

3 Comments »

People seem to care so much about these earthquakes predicting the end of the world that hit Haiti and Chile, but they don’t seem to care so much about Michael J. Fox, even though everyday feels like an earthquake to him…so maybe we need a Tsunami warning, cuz even I know earthquakes in water cause Tsunamis….

Except maybe today, because here he is in picture of Michael J. Fox following his wife of 30 years on the beach living large, showing the paparazzi that he’s still got it, but showin’ off his magic fingers, thanks to Parkinsons making him a human vibrator, behind her back, letting us know he’s still got it, without her even knowing he’s showin’ off his pussy….

If anything, I’m pretty sure he called the paparazzi, to just show off, clear things up for his disease, cuz like all disabled people, the public starts treating you differently, and forget that you can get good pussy, even if it married you before you were disabled and feels trapped and like it has to stay with you to not look like an evil person, but like my friend in a wheel chair, Michael J. Fox is all about milking the pussy he gets and making it clear that not everyone suffering from the shit is 90 years old in a home, but can be in their 40s with pretty solid bodied 40 year old pussy he just needs to stand next to to make her cum. He’s like riding the fucking washing machine…

That said, part of me loves one-piece bathing suits, not because they remind me of little kids at swim class, but because sometimes they hide the stretch marks and unappealing shit a bikini doesn’t hide and I’ve got a serious love for anything that can touch pussy, tits and ass at the same time, even if it is just a piece of clothing.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Michael J. Fox|wife

2010

Mar

Amber Rose Stupid Tits in Stupid Glasses of the Day

11 Comments »

I don’t like Amber Rose. I don’t find anything interesting about her and I hate the way she dresses like she’s some kind of robot from the future. I find it fucking annoying, but I do like tits, so I guess Kanye’s theory that no one will catch onto his homosexuality, or the fact that he just likes Amber Rose to shop with and talk about boys with, and not to titty fuck her or get her pregnant, as long as she shows off her tits and ass and keeps up her moderate sex appeal while staying moderately masculine with a shaved head to make his idiot fans jealous enough to ignore the truth while allowing him to keep up the lie by not throwing up when he rubs her hand in her hair because this way he can pretend she’s a dude when he closes his eyes to kiss her for the media….

People with money and success always do this keeping up appearances shit because rappers aren’t liked as much when they suck dick or get fucked up the ass by white men (because he’s racist) to get off and I blame it all on him being raised without a daddy…

Broken homes make for broken rectum thanks to all the white men he lets inside him behind closed doors, but in front of closed doors, it’s this tryin’ hard to be a “sex robot” to disract you from the wad of cum dripping off his chin…

Here are a few better pictures of her sloppy fat ass that you’ve been tricked into thinking is hot…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Amber Rose|Glasses|Stupid|Tits

2010

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve spent the majority of the day mourning the death of Corey Haim. He was a real success in terms of showing the world how much Hollywood can rape your soul and lead you to serious addiction that leads you to blowing all your money and ending up in a one room apartment in Montreal rolling cigarettes out of butts you find, or convincing some of your new friends to buy you a slushie/slurpie because you haven’t eaten in 4 days, and byt mourning his death I mean negotiating with various people to get / trade nude pics of local girls, like bartenders and party girls from the neighborhood….it wasn’t a success…because despite knowing all girls are whores with nude pictures, I haven’t mastered the art of getting them to share those pics with me….I have no game but I do have stepLINKS and here they are….

Whitney Port’s in a Bikini – I Guess Her Useless Body Has Found a Purpose
GO

Lady Gaga Parody of the Day
GO

Get Laid, It Pays
GO

100 Pictures Of Hot Girls Tailgating
GO

Sandra Lee is a Stupid Cunt and I Hate Her – VIDEO
GO

Lindsay Lohan Downblouse
GO

The 9 Hottest Chilean Women
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Hilary Swank is Looking Bangable
GO

The Top 10 Stoned Birthday Dog Photoshops
GO

Lesbian Titty Suck
GO

Burrito the Golfing Dog is More Talented Than You Or I
GO

Marisa Miller is Always Easy On The Eyes
GO

The 20 Biggest Athlete Sex Scandals
GO

DIY Gone Wrong – GALLERY
GO

Beyonce’s Dereon Ads Are Hot – VIDEO
GO

Mila Kunis May Have Pooped Her Pants
GO

Nikki and Louisa video
GO

Some Vanessa Hudgens, Just Because
GO

Day is Made Easier With This Hot Latina
GO

Dear Mattel, I’ll Take Your Entire Stock Of Anderson Cooper Dolls
GO

Rachel Bilson is Cute and Casual
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

More on That Old Cunt Who Pulled a Kanye At The Oscars
GO

Taylor Momsen is Such a Whore in the Making
GO

Valentina Takes Everything Off
GO

Gotta Love Pranking a Girlfriend
GO

Yeah I’d Bang America Ferrera
GO

Reby Sky is the Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
GO

8 People You’ll Meet On the Elevator
GO

Once In A Lifetime Goddess Rubs Herself All Over
GO

Fuck I Love Zoe Zaldana
GO

Now THIS is a Music VIDEO
GO

Anna Kournikova’s Legs Go On Forever
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

SOme Girl and Her Tits Take Pics of Themselves
GO

A Young GIrl and Her TITs Take Pics of Her Tits
GO

Follow Me, It’s Not The First or Last Thing You Will Ever Regret Doing
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINS

2010

Mar

Cheryl Cole and her Hot Tattoo Performs of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Cheryl Cole playing a gay sailer on a gay cruise in some strategic see-through shirt that doubles as underwear for people on a budget who can only afford a shirt or a pair of panties but not both, but that makes seeing her trashy tits impossible.

Luckily, we can see her shitty prison tattoos and I really like the music note on the shit, it’s a nice touch, you know, almost making this performance believable, and the rose, my god the rose, is this chick serious..I couldn’t even write this shit in a stage performance I’ve been working on, where I channel a teenage runaway with a dream of being a singer who ends up a stripper 40 years after life wronged her, because a tattoo like this would just be too fucking obvious….

These pics coulda been better but they are good enough….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cheryl Cole|Outfit|Performs

2010

Mar

Real Housewife of New York Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

Seeing hard nipples on a middle-aged gold digging women who is out on her own making it for herself is a lot more fun in person. It’s part of the reason I started volunteering at the YMCA years ago before getting fired for a mishap in the lady’s locker room but the good news is – I’ll always have the park bench where all these career woman with insane bodies go jogging by….and I guess these pictures of some useless fame whore with a Moroccan name who isn’t Moroccan but her money is that I’ve never heard of…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bensimon|Jog|Nipples|Real Housewife

2010

Mar

Cameron Diaz Peeping of the Day

4 Comments »

I’ve always been down for a little Cameron Diaz peeping. Sure she’s not the typical dirtbag whore I am actually into exchanging fluids with for very little money, but there’s just something about her that I think is amazing and it’s not that she comes across as the girl who would take a picture of her shit to show you in excitement, or the fact that she probably watches sports and farts, it’s got more to do with tall, long celebrity legs, so when I first saw these pictures I thought she was in some dominatrix shit, but then I realized she wasn’t, and now I am bored, so it’s time to move on.

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Peeping