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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day

Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day

Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day

Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day

RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2009

Dec

Jessica Hart is a Hot Aussie Model in a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

Jessica Hart is a bikini model from Australia because it seems like Australia is taking over my life today…. From law suits to beastiality…and now this….a near perfect bikini body with far from perfect teeth not that I’d be worried about someone’s dental work when I was elbow deep in her pussy after following her home late at night, since I assume that’s the only way I’d get that close to her, cuz girls find me creepy, but I do know a guy who used to clean my teeth for free at the Dental College who’s gone onto being a dental cosmetic surgeon who would be able to take care of her after I’m done my raping…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica Hart|Model

2009

Dec

Adrienne Curry Riding a Mechanical Bull of the Day

4 Comments »

Adrienne Curry is my enemy. Sure she’s a fucking nobody, total bottom feeding cunt, contributing absolutely nothing to the world and who has enough time on her hands to target me on twitter and attempt to tell me off, which made me want to ruin her, before realizing she’s already ruined….but someone sent me this video of her on a Mechanical Bull, a fetish to some dude, hence why they have them in bars, but to me they are only fun when fat chicks get up on them and hold on for their lives, but that’s only because I find fat chicks doing pretty much any day to day activity fucking hysterical…..

Unfortunately, Adrienne Curry didn’t break her neck and become parazlyzed or get whatever other injury you get on Mechanical Bulls and she wasn’t topless showing off her fake tits, so there’s really no point in watching this, but I’m posting it anyway, in memory of her 15 minutes of fame before her Very Brady Daddy Issues and Wallet Fucking made actual celebrity unnecessary.

Posted in:Adrienne Curry|Mechanical Bull

2009

Dec

Lara Bingle Gets Her Pussy Sniffed of the Day

1 Comment »

Lara Bingle is an Australian model and she likes to let her dog sniff her pussy. Maybe she’s on her period, something I always ask random women when my dog tries to get up in them, or maybe bitch trained the motherfucker to eat her out like this bitch I used to date who decided to show me how fast her dog makes her cum after I came all over her pussy, so she let the fucker lick it off, and I was left feeling very fucking disturbed, but I guess that’s the good thing about having dogs, they can’t tell on you.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Lara Bingle|Pussy

2009

Dec

Stephanie Pratt Saves Her Tit from Making His Appearance of the Day

3 Comments »

If Stephanie Pratt really wanted to have a purpose or a legacy that was deeper than the shallow LA twat she looks like, she’d use her access to her annoying brother and his annoying wife, and she’d murder them….doing a service to the world that probably wouldn’t even land her in jail because even the legal system know Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are a national threat, a cyst on society, garbage that needs to be taken the fuck out, terrorists working from within, recruiting retarded young girls into following their useless footsteps…but instead she’s just covering her tit and preventing it from popping out of her dress because that’s all her retarded brain is capable of….what a fucking wasted opportunity.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Stephanie Pratt|Tit

2009

Dec

Jayde Nicole Wrapped Like a Shitty Christmas Present of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve seen Jayde Nicole in person on at least one occassion that I was sober enough to remember. See she is Canadian and everyone knows everyone in Canada. Jayde Nicole lives in some shitty suburb with her single waitress mother who bred her to be a whore, because unlike the parents of professional athletes, her focus was on fucking her way to the top, because that’s all momma’ knew, and she conditioned her baby to learn the tricks from a young age.

She wasn’t hot. She takes a way better picture than what she actually looks like. She was dressed like a cheap whore, which is fine, but her attitude was that she was bigger than life and so important to the world all because she gets naked in magazines, something way hotter girls just don’t bother doing cuz they have integrity and aren’t fame hungry bottom feeders who now have egos….

I can only assume her relationship with Brody Jenner is paid for by Playboy, whether Hef gives him money directly, or if he put the pressure on MTV to get her on the show cuz it was her favorite show because it was the only show she chould understand because she’s ratarded, forcing Jenner to date her or lose out on the easiest money he’s ever made in his life, I mean other than mooching off his stepfather’s fortune thanks to his mom’s wallet fucking pussy, a personality trait he also found in his girlfriend, and everyone knows guys date women like their moms…

Either way, here she is dressed like a shitty Christmas present your grandmother with Alzheimers sent you without realizing that she wrapped one of her used depends..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jayde Nicole|Plaid

2009

Dec

Rebecca Gayheart The Baby Killer Makin’ Babies of the Day

No Comments »

I am sure I am not legally allowed to call Rebecca Gayheart a baby killer because she got off for running over that kid, but she still ran over a fucking kid. I am sure she’s also had numerous abortions over the last decade after having random sex with people in hopes of advancing her career, but I don’t have proof of it and can probably get sued for saying tha and I don’t hold Abortions against girls, if anything I celebrate the shit, cuz there’s nothing worse than unwanted pregnancy, especially when I being called the dad, but more often than not, even if I do knock up whores, they go to the richer, more accomplished dudes they are fucking and claim shit is his, which is one of the benefits of being a total hurtbag.

I love abortions so much that I have caught myself dreaming of being an abortion doctors mainly because seeing used teen pussy is amazing, but you have to go through years of medical school, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am just too drunk and too stupid for that, so instead I have to back alley that shit for real desperate girls

I’m doing this Rebecca Gayheart baby watch because I assume Karma will get back at her for being involved in running over a kid, even if it was the kid’s fault, so to date the pregnancy seems normal but I’ll keep you posted if a crazed mother of the kid she ran over pushes her down the stairs out of spite, or if God makes the shit come out retarded….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Baby Killer|Pregnant|Rebecca Gayheart

2009

Dec

Sophie Turner is Gonna Sue Me of the Day

37 Comments »

So it turns out this Sophie Turner trash is actually a lawyer who just happens to dress like a hooker and not an actual hooker. I assume Australian Law school is easy to get into, since the rest of the locals are too busy fucking kangaroos, crocodiles and tazmanian devils, and apparently she learned in law school that writing that she looks like a trashy pornstar is defamation of character, when I never said she was a trashy pornstar.

So I guess Sophie Turner is trying to manipulate my opinion, even though last time I checked I was allowed to have an opinion. Bitch needs to go back to Australia….

The most annoying thing in all this is her shitty fucking fans, who for some reason think bitch is great, and smart and beautiful, because they are gay and into trannies, or her family and friends who landed here thanks to google because I’m the only idiot who writes about her.

Here’s a letter I got from her PR person, because according to her fans, she doesn’t want anything to do with being famous, having a PR person, attending all the events, getting the paparazzi to take pics of her are all things that aren’t cheap attempts to get noticed….

Hello My name is Devon with Gith Public Relations.

We represent (Actress/Model) Sophie Turner you have posted recently. Sophie Turner is in no way a Adult Star/Actress nor has she ever been.

This is very serious and is a false accusation hence Defamation of character. This is Slander against our client. This needs to be removed immediately and a retraction needs to be posted.
within 24-48 hours.

Please remove the words ” Adult film star/actress, Pornstar) from all images you have of her and replace it with Glamour Model, or Australian supermodel
Also notify your all your buyers or subscribers that read your blogs of the corrections so that they change it on their sites as well. Remove all the cookies and the damaging tittle and captions from Google and other search engines! This is a very serious issue and should be given immediate attention. Its really sad that our client has to go through all this turmoil caused by your actions for a wrong tittle and captions.

Please take care of this request immediately
http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/index.php/2009/12/16/sophie-turner-is-still-trying-to-be-famous-of-the-day/

Note: I HAVE CC’D OUR ATTORNEY ON THIS ISSUE.

Thanks,

Devon Guzzie
Publicist

Gith Public Relations, LLC

Office: (424) 245-4802
Cell: 310-709-2818
Fax: 818.235.0132

This was my response…..

Devon

Re-Read the article – it says she’s not a fucking pornstar, I just thought she was because she is a tacky fake tit whore looking girl…. I can say she looks like shit if I want to, it doesn’t mean she is shit.

I can say she looks like she sucks dicks in truckstops. It doesn’t mean that she does. It is freedom of speech. I have the right to an opinion.

I am not a media outlet. I am a comedy site. Satire. Read my disclaimer. Then fuck yourself.

I’ve been running my site for 5 years, I have been calling these tacky women whores or sluts because I think they dress like whores and sluts for those 5 years. It is in no way defamation of character, it is my opinion.

On a sidenote, if you were to pursue legal action for this, not only will I win, because there is no case, but I will also make sure I walk away with serious compensation for wasting my time and that I ruin this bitch in the process.

This has to be a joke. If so you should work on your comedy routine…

With Love,
Jesus Martinez

Seriously, sue me you cunt, you’ve got no case. My site’s had a disclaimer forever, I’m not news, I’m just a guy who calls all girls whores…..

Let’s hope this gets me rich.

I wonder if you can get sued for calling trash like this a dirty fucking cunt…because that’s clearly what her bottom feeding pussy is.

UPDATE – I decided to send them an invoice for my involvement in their publicity stunt.

Posted in:Annoying|Sophie Turner

2009

Dec

Alicia Keys Was a Pretty Slutty Kid of the Day

2 Comments »

Here is a video of Alica Keys from the Cosby Show. I actually remember this scene from back then because I found it pretty creepy, but obviously forgot it until seeing this video. I just assumed the girl went onto a career of prostitution or stripping, dealing with the emotional trauma of being molested by Bill Cosby…you know his J-E-L-L-O all up in her but instead she grew up to be Alicia Keys…

This would never get on TV today…probably a good thing….or maybe sad that a man can’t innocently slap a kids ass without getting called a pervert when it’s really harmless…despite Cosby totally fitting the molester profile….from being a kid educator….to having shows about kids in order to be around kids…but I guess it doesn’t matter….

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Slutty

2009

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I am drinking champagne with naked teenage girls right now….and by drinking champagne with naked teenage girls I actually mean drinking corked wine my neighbor was too posh to drink cuz it tastes like horse piss, yes, I do know what horse piss tastes like, don’t as, and by naked teenage girls, I mean my wife’s thick arm folds, that look like they’d be the size of a teen pussy, if you’ve got a good enough imagination.. Here are my stepLINKS..

The 15 Hottest Jewish Women
GO

I’d Like to Take Out the Days Frustrations on Emmanuelle Chriqui
GO

Honestly, The Brits Have the Best Sense of Humor About Everything
GO

Because It’s Easier then Finding a Girlfriend
GO

Yeah Tiger Woods Fucked Jessica Simpson
GO

The Most Amazing Morgan Freeman Impersonation Ever
GO

Most Perverted Toyota Ad EVer
GO

Kristen Davis Bikini Nip Slip Throwback
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

I See the Olsen Twins Are Settling Into Old Age Nicely
GO

How Frosty Met Your Mother
GO

Some Pictures of Paola Corvea
GO

Noah Cyrus is an Even Bigger Tramp Than Her Sister
GO

Stripfilm of the Day
GO

A-Rod is an Idiot and I Hate Him
GO

Madonna is Either Hawking Geriatric Fashion Items or Dolce and Gabbana, I Can’t Really Tell
GO

Courtney Love is Mommy Dearest
GO

I Wish Katie Price Would Just Get Ut Over With and Become a Hooker
GO

Gotta Love Irina Sheik
GO

Raed is the Worst Rapper Ever
GO

Iveta Vale in the Surf
GO

Blue Collar KO – VIDEO
GO

Gotta Love Some Sexy Lesbians
GO

Ivy Rides a Sibian
GO

Hot Babes With Tattoos
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

A Collection of Beach Butts
GO

Tila Tequila is a Big Ball of Class
GO

Jenny McCarthy is Topless and Covered
GO

Web Cam Babe Works a Toy
GO

Say Hello to Verunka
GO

Fergie Only Looks Like a Half Tranny Today
GO

Hey There Kristia and Nastja
GO

Bridgette Has Boobs
GO

Tommy Jo in Her Bikini
GO

Jon Gosselin is Broker and Drunker Than I Am
GO

Some Christmas Light HERO
GO

Britney Spears is Lookin Good in the New Candies Adds
GO

Chick Loses Basically All Her Clothes on TV
GO

Red Neck Water Skiing – VIDEO
GO

Sexy Girls Sporting Shoulder Pads [32 Photos]
GO

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Pictures
GO

I Wanna Punch Deryck Whibley in the Face
GO

IS IT JUST ME, OR ARE DENISE MILANI’S TITS GETTING EVEN BIGGER?
GO

Colbert’s Amazing White Rap With Alicia Keys
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Dec

Coco is Fucking Ridiculous of the Day

11 Comments »

I write about Coco enough that I don’t have anything left to say about her, all I know is that this picture is so fucking ridiculous, I’m going to just let you take it in, absorb it and try to understand whatever the fuck is going on in it…cuz I just can’t figure out what it is, if it is good or if it is bad, but I do know that whatever it is, it is incredibly brilliant…

Posted in:Coco