I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

03

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I wonder how many people have died masturbating and not the kind of masturbation that kills like with electronics in showers or with belts wrapped around your fucking neck. You know, dying from good old, jerkin’ off.

Back when my dick worked and I was a lot younger and a lot more insecure, I always had a little bit of fear in the back of my mind that I’d die in the midst of jerking off and some poor fucker, like my landlord or neighbor would find me dick in hand, porn on tv, dead. So every time I’d jerk off, I’d rush it to cum before my heart gave out….

Now I wish my dick stayed hard enough and that I wasn’t desensitized and have such a short attention span so that I’d have the chance to die jerking off, cuz I don’t think it’d be that bad a way to go, if anything it’d be a great final joke, especially considering it’s only goal I’ve ever seen to completion in my life…..until my poor health took that away from me…not that you care…I mean why would you care about an old tired guy’s masturbation anxieties from decades ago and inadequacies today…so here are my stepLINKS…in efforts to pretend we didn’t just have this conversation….

Record Breaking Coctail Genius….
GO

Tiger Woods Wife Just Hit the Jackpot
GO

The Hannah Montana Doll is Fucking Fun!!Especially If You Put it Up Your Ass.
GO

The 10 Hottest Massachusetts Women
GO

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRITNEY MURPHY?!
GO

Find Sluts Here
GO

This Drunken Sumo Wrestler Game is Something I Can Relate Too
GO

Rachel Stevens Upskirt
GO

Seriously, Who the FUCK Updates Their Facebook During Their Wedding? – VIDEO
GO

I Wanna Fuck David Ducovney’s Wife
GO

The Iraqi Shoe Thrower Got….A Shoe Thrown at Him
GO

A Flowchart to Determine If You Can Get Away With Having a Mistress
GO

Amateur Slut Models All Sorts of Lingerie
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Taylor Swift Bikini Shots
GO

Stevie Wonder Broke Down and Cried During a Michael Jackson Tribute and Don’t Fucking Laugh Cause It’s Pretty Gut Wrenching
GO

Miley Cyrus Bikini Pics
GO

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson Are Fucking Again
GO

Ashley Simpson is a Self Entitled Cunt
GO

How Awesome Would a Lindsay Lohan/Jessica Alba Cat Fight Be
GO

Television Just Got a Whole Lot More Shittier – VIDEO
GO

Topless Kick Boxing Iveta Vale
GO

I Admire Her Skill But Her Aim is Off – VIDEO
GO

Six Perky Tits in One Room
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

VIP Upskirts and a Lot of Flashing in a Hot Party
GO

Mini Dirt Bike Product Test…The Chinese way
GO

Jerry Jer AKA TAMPON MAN – VIDEO
GO

Steven Seagal Will Arrest, Possibly Eat You
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Joanna Krupa is Sexy and Topless
GO

She’s Showing Off Her Pussy and Tits!
GO

Well Hello There Valentina
GO

A Little Bit of Allessandra Ambrosio
GO

Two School Girls and Their Lollipops
GO

Some Literal Human Wrecking Balls
GO

When Sammie and Sandy Took a Shower…
GO

Angel Dark is on a White Sand Beach
GO

Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Thy La
GO

Gabrielle Union is Lookin Hot
GO

Let It Slide Video
GO

Baby Sitting Fail – VIDEO
GO

Heather is Bent Over
GO

Alexis’ Ass is GLORIOUS
GO

I Gotta Admit, Britney is Doing and Lookin Half Alright
GO

Ahhhhh Leona Lewis
GO

Some Magazine Where PEnelope Cruz is Talking About Something But I Don’t Care Cause I Am Distracted By Her Hotness
GO

VALENTINA’S PUSSY IS RIPE AND READY FOR PENETRATION!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

03

Dec

The Katy Perry Titty Watch Continues of the Day

Katy Perry’s tits are my new obsession. This is my second post on them today because she’s been showing them off in all the dresses she’s been wearing lately.

I really don’t know what happened but I fell in love with them last night and it’s not like I didn’t know they existed before, because I did, but something triggered in my brain that made me focused on seeing them naked. I have obsessive thought patterns and a lot of the times, I won’t sleep until I get what I want or what I am looking for, unfortunately for me my goals are never really of substance or advancement of my life, it’s really stupid shit like convincing my friend in LA to get a picture of Katy Perry’s tits from the neck down and from the belly button up, cuz I won’t be satisfied with anything less or anything more, since she’s pretty fucking disgusting, not that I am ever happy or satisfied, but you get what I am saying here and that is that Katy Perry showing off her tits is fucking amazing, good work by her boyfriend Russell Brand, and all of a sudden I’m willing to ignore how annoying everything else about this cunt is…..just show me her fucking nipples…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

03

Dec

Miley Cyrus Pink Bikini Pictures of the Day

Miley Cyrus Bikini Pictures Pink

I can only assume that this bitch is 18. I figure if Disney can exploit her and give her a career there’s no way she’s not an adult by now and just posing as a kid, cuz I am sure there are strict labor laws and shit, making this all okay to post pictures of her in a bikini, even if you’re ass wants to get off on them, not that it matters really, cuz in Canada 16 is legal, so we’re technically allowed to pick the girls up in our vans outside of highschool and do all the dirty things we want to them as long as they agree to it and aren’t gagged and hog tied the entire process, we just aren’t allowed to video tape the shit or take pictures of the shit, unless it is with our memory to reference when needed, not that I need that with this Miley bitch. I think she looks half retarded, has pretty much no sex appeal and a shitty body. The only thing going for her is that she’s not 300 fucking pounds and that’s really not saying much, but I know you American folk and your low standards will love this shit and I have no choice but to post it…just don’t zoom in on the picture to see if you see lip or anything cuz that would take this from wholesome to bad intentions and that’s the kind of thing that gets us arrested…even though we didn’t take the pictures or release them to the internet….but historically we’re always the fall guy…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Miley Cyrus

2009

03

Dec

Sophie Monk Does the Pregnancy Cover-Up Pose of the Day

Here is Sophie Monk rubbing up on Santa Claus like he was one of the Good Charlotte sisters because I guess she misses the touch of another man, or maybe because ever has fond memories of a man dressed in a Santa suit sneaking in her bedroom late on Christmas Eve, only to take off her little panties and have his way with her, telling her not to tell anyone, because it was their little secret because she’s been such a good girl all year and she’s Santa’s favorite, not realizing that it was just her creepy dad molesting her on the one night he knew he could get away with it, since everyone knows Santa doesn’t exist and her story would lose all credibility before it started..or maybe it is because the dude in the Santa suit is the Executive General Manager of V Airlines and she figures she’ll be able to fly home for cheap anytime she needs when she has no money cuz she can’t get work cuz she’s in with him….and none of this is the point of the post…

The point of the post is that my photographer friend told me that when you see someone in this stance, with their hands on their hips and elbows pointed outwards, they are trying to hide the fact that they gained weight. It’s like people see their elbows and ignore their waistline. It is the oldest trick in the fucking book to make themselves look thinner, to hide the fact that they have a gut, thanks to a Good Charlotte internal cumshot that’s left a baby growing inside them that they refuse to abort because they think it means security, stability and it is the best revenge for him leaving her for Paris Hilton before crawling back to her one lonely night in Australia…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cover-Up|Pregnancy|Santa Claus|Sophie Monk

2009

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel for Absolut Vodka of the Day

Two of my favorite things in life is booze and useless pussy. Here are a few ads for Absolut Vodka that are pretty fucking boring to me, because I like usually like drinking my booze and not looking at pictures of my booze, and I definitely prefer real women to pictures of women posing, and I really prefer those real women to be fuckin soaked through proper in booze, because historically, drunk bitches are easier to fuck, especially if you slip some shit in their drink and drag them out by their hair….

Either way, I don’t drink Absolut and I’m pretty much willing to drink everything, even rubbing alcohol if it’s cut with enough juice so that I don’t go blind, and maybe they should fix their formula before paying big money for this fancy art fag campaigns….because when I think of alcohol and women together, I usually expect to be slipping my hand down her fucking pants as she’s passed out in the corner….

s

Here’s Zooey Deschanel….I don’t remember what she does…But now she has the credit of being in a boring Absolut campaign to add to her already very impressive resume……I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Absolut Vodka|Advertising|Kate Beckinsale|Zooey Deschanel

2009

03

Dec

Katy Perry Big Tits for the Grammy Nominations of the Day

I was at my neighbor’s house borrowing a couple cigarettes cuz I was out and because it was a good excuse to stare at his immigrant wife’s fat tits cuz she doesn’t wear a bra, and they were watching this Grammy Award Nomination event that I couldn’t believe existed. I am actually surprised that people even watch the Grammies, considering it is some bullshit marketing campaign financed by the record labels, pretty much staged and not representative of anything good, but it turns out people care enough to watch the nominees, after I went on a little rant about how stupid the concept is, Katy Perry walked on stage in this dress, with these tits, and I was really happy she decided to distract me from her gut and busted up face, with something she actually has going for her, and that something are these incredible tits.

Fuck you Grammy Award Nomination show, you ruined my fucking hope in humanity…..even with your prostituting of Katy Perry…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Big Tits|cleavage|Katy Perry

2009

03

Dec

Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato for the Perverts of the Day

Here’s your barely legal jailbait lesbian fantasy of the day….I guess Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato had so much to catch up on, like talking about how big corporate entertainment people are exploiting them and their youth by turning them into huge brand names, or maybe they were comparing the Jonas brother’s dicks and anal sex tips they learned because they have to make a man cum somehow and in keeping inline with their contracts and their promise rings cuz Disney learned their lesson with Lohan, she pretty much ruined it for everyone by turning her pussy into some covert spy that needed to taste every fucking dick that came within 10 feet of her, making virginity part of the fame deal and based on the pics, the whole thing was pretty fucking boring..

****UPDATE**** these are pictures of Selena Gomez not Demi Lovato and those of you who noticed that are fucking creepy as fuck….the post applies to her too so just thought I’d correct myself and out you fuckers who emailed me by forwarding your emails to the FBI. You’ve been caught weirdo.

BONUS – Here are some pictures of Taylor Swift from last year in a music video wearing a bikini …….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Demi Lovato|Perverts|Taylor Swift

2009

03

Dec

Taylor Momsen’s Street Whore Style of the Day

Quick question…Is this how all 16 year old girls dress these days, because I am old and haven’t had sex with a 16 year old in at least 6 months, so I’m not quite up to speed with the styles these days, but I do know that when I was 16, I don’t even think prostitutes or strippers dressed like this, but then again that was decades ago so we should expect that as time to go on for the rules on sexuality to loosen, and at this pace, in another couple of years, 12 year olds will be rockin’ this shit…something some of you are unfortunately excited about….The only disappointing thing in all this is she got famous too young so that lowers the chances of being able to get a blowjob from her for a couple of bucks or a promise to make her famous…making her pretty much useless to me….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Prostitute|Street Whore|Taylor Momsen

2009

03

Dec

Rihanna Hiding Her Tits at the Airport Cuz She’s Not in a Bra of the Day

I’ve spent the last hour trying to not masturbate to the beat up picture of Rihanna cuz she’s a fucking cunt and seeing her beat is like porn to me. If bitch is anything like I expect her to be, she fucking deserved it. From being a cunt to her local Bajan friends she grew up with, prancing around like the princess of the fucking island, when she was a fucking garbage man’s daughter from a shanty, I guess overcompensating for where she’s from, but remaining the trash she is and the whole thing is even more annoying because she doesn’t even know how to sing, not to mention when she covers her tits when she goes thru security at the airport without a bra on, because it’s part of her lesbian hair, lesbian biceps, lesbian shoulders, lesbianism cuz cock hurts when shit chokes you the fuck out in a rented lambo on your way home after busting a motherfucker’s balls with her jealousy was uncontrollable and abusive but no one ever talks about that. Bitch needs to realize that if you go to the airport without a bra on all you gotta do is fucking drop your crossed arms and share it with the rest of us…I guess the cock teasing bitch needs another life lesson….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Rihanna|Tits

2009

03

Dec

Shakira Seduces Santa Cuz She’s a Whore of the Day

Here’s a video someone shot of Shakira from up close at the lighting of the tree in New York last night. She’s singing Santa Baby, probably the most erotic Christmas Carol because she’s an immigrant whore and as an immigrant whore the only way to get ahead is to use her sex appeal, or whatever she has left of it, because people don’t realize that she’s pushing 40. I think she may have confused the American concept of Santa, cuz the last fat guy with a white beard and a red suit named Santiego was a coke dealer she used to date as a teen growin up in Columbia, cuz he’d buy her everything she wanted…

Either way, I figure if you look close enough you can see her pussy definition, maybe a little ass cheek, definite rockin’ the mic like the cock she used to sing into as she was comin’ up early on in her career and conveniently her midget legs are cut out of the frame making her as close to perfection as she gets…

Posted in:Santa Baby|Shakira|Whore