I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

05

Nov

Ashley Greene Pumps Gas of the Day

Want to know what I hate about Ashley Greene, other than the fact that she’s in that piece of shit emo movie Twilight, a movie you’d probably expect me to like because it is porn for teenage girls, but I can’t see past the fact that the cast isn’t hot, everyone is a shade of green like a bad Fall Out Boy Music video and most importantly there are no exposed tits or genitals, so the idea teen girls masturbate over it and it’s implied eroticism doesn’t do shit for me….I hate that she was one of those teenage girls back home in Florida who planned a modeling career for herself. She was that girl who you see in bars or who is in your classroom who acted too good for everyone else because she thought she was too good for everyone else and on weekends she’d go to modeling agencies asking to get signed, only to be told she’s too short which is code for too fat and ugly, and I guess her perseverance led her into Hollywood, but the good news is that she’s not too famous to pump her fuckin’ gas. She’s just a bottom feeder holdin’ on, hoping this Twilight thing lasts another 10 years cuz it is her lottery ticket or some shit.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Ashley Greene|Gas

2009

05

Nov

Kimberly Wyatt’s and Her Stripper Dress of the Day

I had to google Kimberly Wyatt because I had no idea who she was, but figured it was my duty to give you a little background on her, mainly because it’s nice to know the events that happen in a bitches life that make them the sluts that they are, like whether she was molested or abused, whether she had a drug addiction, whether she wasn’t hugged enough from her dads, because that information is realy valuable when it comes to manipulating them to bounce on your cock.

So when I saw this bitch in this dress I expected her to be some stripper who got invited to some red carpet event by one of their friends they give lap dances to who like this was Pretty Woman, only she wore her most glamourous dress she got at the sex shop and uses it in her first strip show on Friday nights because Friday is the biggest money making night…..

The windows cut into this discoball lookin’dress give us a tease of various parts of her body in some seriously trashy way and I find it hot, so it only makes sense that she’s the daughter of a trucker but more importantly a Pussycat Doll.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Kimberly Wyatt|Shiny Dress|Windows

2009

05

Nov

AnnaLynne McCord in Some Leggings Trying to Pretend To Be Incognito of the Day

I love these pictures of Annalynne McCord. Not because I love Annalynne McCord, or even think she’s hot because I don’t and not because I think she’s an interesting personality or a natural talen worth looking at pictures and following around because I don’t. I just love love these pictures because I think it is funny to see how she’s intentionally got herself all covered up so she looks like she’s so important that she has to mask her identiry, but I know that this is all an act and that she’s probably the one who tipped off the paparazzi by telling them that she was going to be going to wherever she is going, because that’s just what bottom feeders do.

So now the idiots who run the pictures think “Shit this Annalynne McCord is really hot right now, she can’t even go to the store without wrapping herself up like she was Britney Spears” when in reality that’s just what her management want you to think since they are trying to keep her relevant as 90210 will not last forever and McCord’s potential future is not so bright. It’s like an act now, act fast, these are desperate times situation and the whole thing is funny to me, mainly because I like seeing people fail, especially when they are the kind of failure who keeps coming back for more and won’t accept that shit’s over.

Here are the pics.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Leggings

2009

05

Nov

Karina Smirnoff Showing Off Some Leg of the Day

I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars but I have seen the clips on the Internet and I know this Karina Smirnoff bitch dances pretty much half naked all the fucking time. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d write a top 10 list of Karina Smirnoff slutty outfits on the show, but I don’t really care enough for that and will save that list for you to do for yourself. Think of it as a homework assignment.

What I’ve learned from pretty much every stripper I know or have seen leave work is that when a bitch is half naked in her work she is so much less interesting in her down time. It’s like you give us what we want, we’ve seen all you have to offer, but as soon as you punch out on your punch card, you get fucking boring and fade into irrelevance, and that is what these pictures are of….only instead of an off duty stripper, we have an off duty girl who shoulda been a stripper, but North America’s gone dance crazy…

Here she is avoiding the upskirt….like she’s not a slut who has flashed her panty covered pussy on national tv every week for the last few years….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Irrelevant|Karina Smirnoff|Leg

2009

05

Nov

Mariah Carey Is Too Fat to Not Be Wearing Pants of the Day

Mariah Carey went out wearing some one-piece bullshit that no fat girl should ever be wearing unless it is to mock herself or humiliate herself in hopes the emotional trauma will lead her to a better place and re-think that late night box of cookies or some shit, you know so everytime a piece of cake is dropped in front of her, memories of the day she walked out in public with her gunt exposed comes flashing back making her put the fuckin’ fork down.

So I can only assume, Mariah Carey did this for that reason, you know as some new age weight loss program and not because she’s delusional from all the anti-depressant meds and a younger dude who always had a crush on her deciding to marry her as part of his comedy acts has some ill affects when it comes to giving her more confidence than she deserves, but to rock this takes more than just confidence, this is on some clinically insane shit.

Unfortunately, as a motherfucker with no standards, I have pretty much no real problem with this, cuz when a piece of clothing touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time, it’s got pure skill and is something I bow down to with respect. For real.

Here are the miserable pics…

It turns out that this is for her new music video and we all know that bitch has the 50 pound weight loss in post production clause in her contract so at least we won’t have to relive these pictures, we’ll just get won over by movie magic and I’m okay with that as long as it means I can avoid seeing this shit…..That said here are a bunch more pictures that just came out because I’m not about to post another post on this shit, if anything I wish I didn’t even have to write one…..

Pics via Fame
Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Mariah Carey|One Piece

2009

05

Nov

Katy Perry Tit for Some MTV Bullshit of the Day

I guess Russell Brand’s needle sharing AIDS hasn’t soaked into Katy Perry’s bloodstream yet, because she’s at this event all smiles and looking as shitty as usual, like she’s got know idea she’s about to go on the battle of her lifetime.

I guess the reason why the AIDS from needle sharing hasn’t taken over her life and spun her into a depression or rage, is because Russell Brand doesn’t have AIDS for sharing needles because he was never a heroin addict that he claims to be. That shit was a lie to get him publicity and it worked, the UK people bought into his bullshit and gave him a book deal, that led to a radio show and an MTV deal and America followed….

So the only hope I had in eliminating this Katy Perry is pretty much back in the hands of one of her crazed stalkers who I’m hoping stops thinking about kidnapping her and bringing her back to his cave in the backwoods, where he will marry her and make her have his babies, saving the rest of us from having to deal with her cunt face, until she plans her escape in 13 years and no one remembers who the fuck she is, and actually does it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:cleavage|Katy Perry|Ugly

2009

05

Nov

Molly Sims and her Dramatic Acting Reel of of the Day

I used to hate Funny or Die with a passsion. I didn’t know why, but I like to think it had to do with the figure skating movie Blade of Steel that Will Ferrell was in making me hate everything the motherfucker did. But as I’ve got older, I’ve decided to care less about everything, it’s been a pretty cleansing process and although I am still the bitter hateful motherfucker I tend to be, I don’t actually really hate anything, except maybe Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, I just refuse to carry that shit around with me because it really doesn’t matter enough to affect my mood.

So when I saw this video of Molly Sims, a girl I guess known for being in her bikini a lot, despite her flat ass, I figured it was kinda clever, because making fun of yourself is something I can appreciate so that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

Posted in:Dramatic Actor|Funny or Die|Molly Sims

2009

05

Nov

Megan Fox Rolling Stone Outtakes of the Day

[PICTURES REMOVED CUZ ROLLING STONE ARE CUNTS]
I think Megan Fox is totally overrated and that’s exactly the reason why I am posting this pictures from some Rolling Stone Photoshoot that went down months ago because I figure it will get me traffic and take me to the fucking top of the internet where I feel like I belong…but unfortunately these pictures are boring and they aren’t going to do shit for me in terms of internet stardom or even in terms of getting off because there’s no pussy being flashed, not cock being sucked and Megan Fox remains the pornstar who go away….she’s nothing but a huge disappointment.


PICTURES REMOVED BECAUSE ROLLING STONE ARE MEAN CORPORATE ASSHOLES WHO THREATENED TO SUE ME

Posted in:Megan Fox|Photoshoot|Rolling Stone

2009

04

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

My dog just at a chocolate bar my wife left laying around. Turns out chocolate is toxic for dogs and I had to call the vet, he may die and I guess this may be the end of a short lived friendship, because despite thinking I hate him, this brush with death has made me feel nothing but love for him. Wish us luck, I know I’m an asshole, but he’s just a little guy and doesn’t deserve this, I’m going to give him what could be one last belly rub…I almost feel tears creeping up on me…

Sienna Miller is Getting Stuffed With Penis Like a Turkey Does With Stouffers
GO

Kim Kardashian in the Ring
GO

There is 100% a Carrie Prejean Sex Tape in Existance, Though It May Never See The Light Of Day
GO

Because We All Need a Little Helping Hand and I Can’t Ver Well Jerk Off For You
GO

I’ve Heard the Expression “Boom Mic in a China Shop” But This is Ridiculous
GO

Who Said It: Sarah Palin Or Anna Nicole Smith?
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Some Slut Named Rochelle and Her Panty Upskirt
GO

Donger is a New Breed of Cop
GO

I Don’t Mind a Little Drew Barrymore Now and Again
GO

Emma Frain is Glorious
GO

Here’s The New Trailer for Angelina Jolies Movie and The Fact That It’s in Russian Makes It Hilarious
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Kate Hudson is Right, All Men Want is Sex and a Sandwich
GO

Natalie Portman Looks Just Like Keira Knightley In this Magazine, Holy Fuck
GO

HAHAHAHHA Kim Kardashian Got Knocked The Fuck Out
GO

HEY IDIOTS WHO BELIEVE THE WORLD WILL END IN 2012!! IT’S NOT GOING TOO!
GO

A Heidi Klum Photoshoot
GO

Natali Blond is Busty
GO

Nicole Kidman Looks Like a Kinky Wax Figure
GO

Nip Slip Catfight – VIDEO
GO

Babe With a Hot Ass Gets Herself Off
GO

Alejandra Cata Does Lingerie
GO

Madison and Mackenzie Have a Happy Halloween
GO

Let’s Shit on Ashley Simpson Some More
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Sophie Monk Throwback
GO

Just a Hot Babe Taking Her Clothes Off
GO

Bask in Zuzana
GO

She May Have Herpes, But Sometimes, Just Sometimes, I Think About Bangin’ Paris Hilton
GO

Denise Milani is Rolling Around in the Sand
GO

Andi Valentino is a Hot Rocker Chick
GO

Capri Cavalli & Katalin Kiraly Topless Kissing
GO

Hannah Hilton Removes Her Green Lingerie
GO

Man Lohan’s Dad is a Fucking Parasite
GO

Insane Vehicle I’ll Never Get But I Still Want of the Day
GO

Praise the Lord!!! Praise Jesus!!!
GO

DJ AM’s House is For Sale
GO

Now There’s Some Big Tits
GO

Me and My STD – VIDEO
GO

120 Hot Girls Doing Keg Stands
GO

Malin Ackerman and Some Upskirts
GO

Some Brad Pitt Cock for the QUeers…and Curious
GO

Hot Mormon Muffins
GO

The Blow Up Bra
GO

THE UNCENSORED OUTTAKES OF THE KELLY BROOK LINGERIE PHOTO SESSION ARE FUCKIN’ AWESOME!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

04

Nov

Kim Kardashian Charity Boxing Black Eye of the Day

Kim Kardashian and her family had an auction to box them and it was the one time I wish I had a ton of fucking money, because beating the fuck out of Kardashian, ideally punching her in the cunt at least once and leaving her knocked the fuck out is something I’d be more than happy doing, whether the money went to charity or not.

I think she pussied out and boxed a chick, but at least she was left with a black eye and I just don’t understand how she doesn’t relize that getting punched up is alright, but the number one thing this bitch could do for charity to help better the world out would be to disappear….

On a sidenote I just Youtubed Kim Kardashian for a video of the boxing match and all I got was clips of her sex tape cuz Youtube is a Porn site and her sex tape is all she is good for and she’s not even that good in it. Funny that all the big advertisers advertise on Youtube even if it is a Pornsitre….not that you care…but I do….cuz no one advertises with me….

Posted in:Black Eye|Kim Kardashian