I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2022

30

Jun

Denise Richards’ Sad Nipple of the Day

So last week, there was some bullshit storyline that Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards’ 18 year old daughter had decided to launch an onlyfans because she isn’t rich enough, or loved enough, or gets enough attention to not hop on the money train that she likely hopes gives her some clout, gets her some audience and makes her some stupid money….for getting naked on the internet….

Why give the nudes away for free to dudes on TINDER when you can bait really lame dudes into subscribing to your porn site…right…

Well, a week later, the PLATYPUS looking mom, who was once a Heidi Flies girl decided to hop on the trend and pull out some deflated titty, or mangled tits, with her very sad looking nipple…

Luckily, she realized how stupid her nipple looked and has posed in more strategic ways since the first titty drop….that people potentially paid for….which is fucking insane since she’s old as shit and you can just jerk off to her tits when they were at their prime, at their happiest, at their best….

But maybe that level of sadness and desperation is the fetish…..one of those just because you can get naked doesn’t mean you should or just because you’ve been a legit whore in your life before a few acting jobs doesn’t mean you need to continue…or just because there is easy money when you have money does’t mean you should….or just because Charlie Sheen HIV is probably in you so why bother caring….it’s not a death sentence so it doesn’t mean you should…..and the fact that you are, because you don’t have to, is awesome to a very small group of people….

I don’t find it awesome, you see the only 50+ year olds I’m into on OnlyFans is the ones who weren’t naked and famous in their 20s, so that I still get to see them naked, in my campaign to see every girl in the world naked, but if the 50 year old has nudes from her 20s, I’ll stick to the archive footage….

MOST IMPORTANTLY….if you’re asking fans to pay up, I fucking hope you do more than a lame tit pic, I mean this is a slutty generation and she’s a founding father of slut, so at least fuck some giant dildo or something, make it worth it.

Could you imagine how lame you’d have to be to sign up and pay this bitch to see her deflated tit…I mean how embarrassing…if she was doing circus tricks with her cunt that she learned along the way, like shooting out ping pong balls out of her asshole and catching them in her mouth like a seal, before shooting ping pong paddles out of her cunt to make the point….then I’d be into it…but A TIT PIC…that’s offensive.

Posted in:Denise Richards

2022

30

Jun

Dua Lipa Upskirt of the Day

Dua Lipa’s on stage, so her white panties are probably not the cotton full backs that turn on the perverts looking for a wholeseome bitch in this era of whores, but if she’s a whore, in the cotton panties, to play the role of the wholeseome bitch in the era of whores, it’s almost the same thing, it just may smell worst or leave weirder stains from the cunt drippings…you know mileage without an oil change can make some weird goops…GWYNETH PALTROW…

I don’t know the sexual history of DUA LIPA’s vagina or asshole, but she is on stae with those sturdy legs that are surprisingly not cellulite ridden because they look meaty, which is a good thing, maybe the reason she’s a top popstar I guess…

It would be more interested in knowing more about her sexual history and the things she has put and continues to put her ass than knowing she’s a pop star who has TikTok hits..but you can’t have it all people….YOU CAN’T HAVE IT ALL!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dua Lipa

2022

30

Jun

Sarah Hyland Bikini of the Day

Half dead, chronically ill, quad vaccinated, freaky genetic condition that reminds me of a little primordial dwarfism that made her look like a weak 90 year old back when she was a teen on TV….SARAH HYLAND….who may or may not be retired, we don’t give a fuck about her in these parts to bother finding out what she’s been doing since her long running, high paying, sitcom career…has slowly, like other girls, been morphing into a slutty version of herself…

It’s like we live in an alternate timeline or dimension, that sort of got sprung on us when we were least expecting it, because these boring, normie, girls you probably sexualized since they were on TV are now doing the low level IG slut shamelessness we’ve all seen OTHER ladies who are trying to make it pull off for the last decade…

So this awkward, double kidney transplant surviving freaky looking midget troll you likely never jerked off to, is trying to get you to jerk off to her, even though she’s got all the money, celebrity she needs, it’s not enough….

So she’s out here in the “on your knees, whilst the knees are spread, in a bikini” pose, which is a pretty fucking racy pose when it comes to the bikini model pose formations….this would have been one of those pics you take of your gf to jerk off to at a later date back in the day, not a “hey internet fans, check out my spread cunt bikini pose”….but I guess when you come face to face with death, you know, time is limited, get those titties out…because cumming is all that matters…

The funny thing would be knowing how many pics it took to capture her perfect on her knees bikini pose….probably 250….CAMERA ROLL SCREENSHOT NOW.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2022

30

Jun

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

Since girls don’t shit according to everything I’ve ever been told about girls when they go to the bathroom….. except for my wife when she makes me clean up after her very abusive, disgusting, disturbing bathroom experiences but she’s hardly a girl…

But yeah, since girls don’t shit, at least the girls I want to fuck, the whole thong not covering the dirty post-shit asshole to protect the pants, and the people around them from the shit smells, like underwear is supposed to do is totally fine….

Since the asshole, on girls I want to fuck is a sexual orifice I want in my mouth, the thong just makes that asshole more accessible, which is what you want, whether you believe the asshole is the window to the soul or not….

So here are some girls showing asshole in the most modest way possible, because they still got their panties on…..respectable behavior requires respectable staring at the asshole behind thong…

(more…)

Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2022

30

Jun

Candice Swanepoel Topless of the Day

Candice Swanepoel got her model implants taken out, so she’s basically flat chested now, but as a tiny tit lover, I’m into staring at the bottom quadrant of her nipple i some over the top, lame posed, fashion photoshoot that’s so theatrical it’s a fucking joke….all black and white, all serious and intense, like the photographer told her to to think about the slaves in Africa that used to work for her family farm on the day they were told slavary was illegal….you know SADNESS….distress….all while being topless on a roof like a homeless guy who found a fire escape to climb up to a safe spot to camp out behind the water resevoir….nothing says hot like roof top nudity…especially when it’s an old weathered lingerie model.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2022

30

Jun

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

LET THE TITTIES DROP…..

SO I CAN PICK THEM UP WITH MY MOUTH….

(more…)

Posted in:Titty Drop

2022

30

Jun

Carmen Electra Tits of the Day

I didn’t know that Carmen Electra was on Only Fans reliving the glory days of Playboy, when people hired and paid her to be a naked fake titty whore, rather than her going out there and being a self starter about it….

I guess she’s trying to play the whole geriatric angle of life as a hot chick from the 90s has been good, so let’s not ever give it up….even in her 50s and I guess for some people who like the whore at the end of the gangbang, that’s exciting….

I’m more into being first in line at the gangbang, or even being with the girl years before she ends up deciding to do the gangbang, you know when she’s wholesome and less destroyed on a spiritual level….only to jerk off to her in her gangbang all those years later after everything’s gone wrong.

I am not against rich whores who made it in the 90s still trying after years of being forgotten, even if I find it pretty pathetic…..easy money is too tempting to say no to when you’re a career whore, so pull them bolt on titties out like you’re still under 30, when you are in no way, shape or form looking anything like you did when you were under 30…

No plaster, filler, filters and CGI post production video effects will ever bring her back and anyone paying to see her tits, instead of googling them at her prime, is a fucking weirdo. THERE IS AN INTERNET ARCHIVE FOR A REASON freaks.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2022

30

Jun

Tanline Thursday of the Day

Tanlines have been a bit of a fetish, not really a fetish because I don’t actually care about whether a bitch has talines or not, but let’s call them an interest, since the first stripclub I went to when I was 12 years old…..

This old, leathery bitch, since it was the daytime shift, was sitting at the bar chain smoking with her tits out, all toothless and affordable and I was fascinated by how her bikini left a mark on the bare tits and since that day on, I’ve been fascinated by the tanline, whether it’s accidental from an all inclusive beach vacation with too much sun, or by design because they plan what to stencil the tanline with before being hosed down with skin staining chemicals….because the tanline, all summery, living that beach life even in the depths of the city….highlights the goods….in case you needed to be reminded where the bikini went well looking at the bare tits and ass….

It’s like one of those “this is how to use gmail” when they reformat gmail but way less nerdy…..arrows pointing where they need to be pointed so you don’t get lost…but the TITTY version…so much better.

(more…)

Posted in:Tanlines

2022

30

Jun

Slutty Mom and Daughter Duo and Other Videos of the Day

Gymnast Shit

Booty in Jeans

Cowgirl Dance

Army Bitches

Titty Dance

Sluts

Some “Mommy I need some Milk”…

Posted in:TIKTHOT|Videos

2022

30

Jun

Start Your Day with Wedgie Girls of the Day

I am going to assume that this is some porn fetish video for some weird fucks out there who are really into giving, getting, or watching girls get wedgies….you know like the asshole bully who doesn’t discriminate between nerdy boys and the hot chick in the class, realizing the giving the hot chick in the class a wedgie is something you can jerk off to, while the hot girl getting the wedgie realizes how good a wedgie can feel after you get over the rope burn part of the experience and fully embrace the whole bodyweight pressing against the clit…..

But ultimately, it’s hilarious, fetish or not, somthing we definitely need to normalize in society, so that we can go up to strangers and wedgie them, in what I call the modern hello.

Posted in:Videos