DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

12

Oct

Woman with 6 Nipples of the Day

A little known fact about me, mainly because no one cares to ask about little known facts about me, because no one cares about me, is that I have 3 nipples. I remember when I first noticed the shit growing up and I thought it was just a birthmark, until one day having a doctor tell me I had three nipples in a routine check-up when I was 14, making me insecure as shit about swimming classes and hanging at beaches, leading to me over-eating and drinking to numb the pain, until becoming too fat to notice a third nipple on provided I was topless, because people would be too amazed or disgusted seeing me topless and walking around with a gut like mine, until eventually I stopped finding the third nipple weird and stopped really caring…but then I saw this video, and this bitch and her 6 nipples is fucking disgusting, send her to the fuckin’ barn and milk her like the cow she is, because seeing this is horrible and unnatural.

Posted in:6 Nipples

2009

12

Oct

Pam Anderson Panty Flash at an Event Cuz She’s Trash of the Day

4 Comments »

Maybe I am being a little too traditional in saying that Pam Anderson is a piece of trash for showing up to an event in a panty exposing dress. It’s not like I’m Emily Fucking Post and an expert on etiquette or class. It’s not like I don’t wish every bitch left the house with her vagina lips sticking out of various clothing items, it’s not like I wouldn’t try to suck this bitch’s Hep-C liver out of her fucking pussy.

This isn’t trash, this is a fucking icon, a glamorous leader and inspiration to girls everywhere to bleach their hair and dress cheap while showing off tit and filming videos of themselves fucking, so instead of being mean to this expired woman, I should be celebrating her life, her accomplishment and her free-spirit and only complain that showing panties is a sign of her getting soft, she’s the type of aging pussy you’d expect to see fisting herself on the red carpet like she fucking should be, because it is a skill that may seem easy but didn’t comes easy as it took years of training and aging and beating that fucking thing up to lose the right amount of elasticity to make it so seamless….

Here she is not nearly naked enough as she should be, but maybe she’s waiting until halloween to scare the kids proper with that shit.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Panties|Trash

2009

12

Oct

New Michael Jackson Song of the Day

6 Comments »

If you’re wondering why Michael Jackson has a new song after motherfucker died, it’s because he’s not dead. He’s just smart business and knows that if he died, he’d be remembered as the superstar he once was, and not as the child molesting weirdo he became. He sold more albums in decades after death, brought new interest to his brand, got out of debt and got out of a concert he didn’t want to do all while being left the fuck alone in the middle east, where he goes out dressed like an arab wife, covered head to fucking toe, living a normal life all while distracting the world from the corrupt Iranian election. Seriously, nothing in entertainment is what you think it is. There’s too much money involved for it to be what it appears to be.

Posted in:Michael Jackson

2009

12

Oct

Reality Show Contestant Pops Her Implant

4 Comments »

Here’s some ridiculous clip from what looks like a really shitty reality show mainly based on the quality of the contestants, where one of the girls falls off a rope into the water and thinks she burst her implant. Everyone else laughs at her, as they should, because sluts with implants deserve to at least one have a ruptured implant scare, as punishment for being such superficial, tacky sluts in the first place, but it turns out that she’s just a whining bitch and nothing really happened…I guess the video is ok to laugh at.

Posted in:Implant Pop|Reality Show

2009

12

Oct

stepVIDEO of the Day

1 Comment »

My name is Jesus, so I guess people thought it was funny to make this song for me, I don’t really know what I can do to help abused kids, so I don’t like that people are turning to me to help them and solve their problems, because I have a hard enough time keeping myself safe and warm and helping myself, so stop being so fucking demanding and keep your requests for someone who can actually help you, or maybe just accept your fucking fate instead of having blind faith in some dude from the fucking internet.

Posted in:stepVIDEO

2009

12

Oct

Shakira in Fetish Gear for i-D Magazine of the Day

4 Comments »

People seem to love Shakira now more than ever because of her comeback in that video everyone jerks off to, so some fashion magazine got her in some photoshoot where they dressed her in some fetish gear and I guess the whole thing is not worth complaining about, but I was always disgusted by girls in their 30s, so to me, Shakira died 2 years ago and no matter what she does will come across as trying too hard to hold onto a time when I was jerking off to her breasts that were small and humble, in a time before her hips didn’t lie….

Posted in:Fetish|i-D Magazine|Shakira

2009

12

Oct

Shauna Sand Takes Her Corpse Body to the Pumpkin Patch of the Day

2 Comments »

The thing people don’t realizing about Shauna Sand is that she’s just a really committed person to having the best Halloween costume, so committed that she got the right surgery, wears the right clothes and starves her haggard self the right amount to pull off the dead stripper who came back from the dead to eat your brains and by brains I mean a fat baggy of cocaine. So thanks to the condition of Shauna Sands body everyday is fuckin’ halloween for her kids and although I assume that will fuck them up, at least one day a year their mom seems normal and the good thing about that for you is that dead strippers corpse is your fetish because let’s face it, you’re a necrophiliac…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:Pumpkins|Shauna Sand

2009

12

Oct

Walletfucking Groupie Ladder Climbin Whore of the Day

7 Comments »

Not that Jeremy Piven is actually famous, but it is to say that this bitch, and probably a lot of her bitch friends are willing to fuck anyone they see on TV.
I am not sure if it is for personal gain, like maybe it will get them ahead, or if it is just for bragging rights that they were the cunt a celebrity stuck his dirty celebrity dick inside so that all her college friends get jealous and her college boyfriend either gets seriously upset she cheated on him or really excited because he’s a Jeremy Piven fan and now he has bragging rights by default cuz his girl is really just a fucking useless whore.

The whole thing is our fault for letting these idiots be put on a pedestal, so you only have yourself to blame every time a girl you want fucks someone cooler, more successful, more known or well-liked, better looking, less creepy aka everyone who isn’t you….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Groupie|Ladder Climber|Walletfucking

2009

12

Oct

Una Healy is a Drunk Piece of Shit of the Day

1 Comment »

Here is some singer/songwriter and guitarist aslo knows as being the fifth girl in the band The Saturdays. I thought her drunken piece of shit pictures on her birthday were funny until finding out she was Irish, in which case shit’s expected and this post is obsolete because irish bitches are drunks, normally the kind I don’t want to fuck, who look and act sloppy as shit and have dirty pussy from passing that shit around the pub night after fucking night and a shitty body from all the beer. Seriously, pub pussy is the worst kind of pussy and I’ve put a lot of resources into coming to this conclusion in the form of spending every dollar I’ve ever made or stole into finding this out, you see cuz I like being drunk but I hate drunk women.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Drunk|Una Healy

2009

12

Oct

Kim Kardashian and Her Pussy Definition at the Gas Station of the Day

3 Comments »

Kim Kardashian takes her pussy out to pump gas and apparently she also takes her pussy out to pump black dudes on video resulting in people caring enough about her to post pictures of her pumping gas when we really shouldn’t give a fuck about her, and should just see her as the fat, lazy, leech on society she is, but instead we make her more rich than her privileged ass already was before she became an amateur pornstar turned reality star turned annoying the fuck out of me and making me wonder why the fuck I am posting this shit because I know i don’t care but do it anyway.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Definition|Kim Kardashian|Pussy