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2009

25

Sep

Jessica Biel and Some Ill Fitting Pants of the Day

I never found Jessica Biel hot. I wasn’t like those motherfucker who fell in love with her watching Seventh Heaven, who never fully let that celebrity crush go and move on with their lives.
She’s just a little too rugged and strong lookin for me. I like my women to look weak and frail to run from me, not like they can run a marathon, build a log cabin from scratch and wrestle a bear and win all in the same day all in efforts to escape my penis.
And I definitely don’t find her hot in this outfit, but that’s probably because she’s dressed like the 75 year old science teacher I had who took me bird watching in a pair of Knickerbockers before raping me back when I was 12.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ill Fitting|Jessica Biel|Pants

2009

25

Sep

Hilary Swank Almost Lets Us Look Up Her Skirt of the Day

Was it gay of me for jerking off to the scene in Boys Don’t Cry, where Hilary Swank a girl who dressed like a boy, was in the bathroom and a group of her friends ripped her pants off, revealing her bush, so the rednecks discovered their best buddy was a chick, figuring they should take advantage of the situation and fuck the shit out of him, like the pussy was a gift from fuckin’ god?
That is like you thinking “shit, I’ve known this dude for 8 years and we have so much in common, he’s pretty much my soulmate, but he was always a he and that would make me gay if I ever pursued it and I don’t want to be gay or admit my feelings to him, that would turn my whole life upside down and he’d probably drop me as a friend so that I’d have none of him” about your best friend, then you accidentally walk in on him in the bathroom and dude’s sitting on the fuckin’ toilet with a full fuckin’ vagina, making you think it must be a dream come true, so you decide to rape the poor fucker….
Yeah, it was pretty gay of me cuz the reason Hilary Swank got the gig was cuz she made a good boy no matter how big a vagina she has, and here she showing us some leg, maybe a little upskirt….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Hilary Swank|Upskirt

2009

25

Sep

Amanda Holden’s Got Shoes on Her Tits for Charity of the Day

Her name is Amanda Holden, she is some Britain’s Got Talent judge or host who I’ve never heard of because I don’t live in Britain and even if I did, I seriously doubt that I’d care enough about the grey skinned, rotting toothed, overweight, ugly people from Britain’s level of fuckin’ talent, to watch this garbage, but it did give me Susan Boyle virginity to jerk off to, so I guess I shouldn’t fully discount its potential.

What I do care about is charity organizations, not because I like helping the world or saving whales, aids babies and breasts, but because some genius decided to come up with concept that really push people out of their comfort zone, not that this whore isn’t used to get naked, but you know what I mean, to get attention to their cause, guilting celebrities and women everywhere to get half naked and use a pair of heels to cover their nipples, because dude’s probably got some kind of heel fetish and this whole perversion is diverted by a good cause…pretty clever.

Posted in:Amanda Holden|Shoes|Tits

2009

25

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I write too much, I drink too much, I try to fuck strange women and fail too much, I waste time too much and I spend too much time thinking about how I suck at life and it turns out I also post a lot of links, one would say too much links, if they had no commnad of the English language, you gang of fucking morons…..

Pink Uses Hearts Over Her Nipples to Distract From Her Boner
GO

Ladies: Imagine This Thing Coming Out of Your Vagina
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Because Sluts Make a Bad Life Better
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More On the Miley Cyrus ‘Growin’Up Whore’ Tour
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The 12 Hottest International Cougars
GO

Meet George Jetson
GO

Japanese Port a Pottie Prank is Amazing
GO

Lola Ponce Has a Bikini Body
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THIS MONKEY ACTS LIKE JOHNNY CARSON! I LOVE YOU JAPAN!!
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I’m Really Developing a Thing for Emma Stone
GO

Jessica Simpson Must Have a Learning Disability or Something
Because She Can’t Be This Stupid For No Reason
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They Want to Lick Your Lollipop and By Lollipop They Mean COCK
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Aubrey O’Day Gallery Because She is a Dumb Slut
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Striptease of the Day
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Any Bachelor Party Host By Joe Francis is Probably a Party You Want to Be At
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I Still Got a Thing For Thandie Newton
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HOLY FUCK LOHAN GOT A JOB!!!
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Kate Moss is as Big a Party Animal as Ever and I Love It
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Some Video of a Kim Kardashian Photoshoot
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Brit Brit Is Single-Handedly Keeping The Platform Flip-Flops Industry Alive
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Naughty Nina Strip Down
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Let’s Watch Sluts Bounce Up and Down
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Big tits on the Street
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Angie Savage Gallery
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Denise Milani is Sexy on the Beach
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Come Fly With Me
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David Arquetts Cross Dressing Tranny Brother is a Hot Piece
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Devon Aoki Gallery
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Porn Party Fuck Fest
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Julia Crown is a Swedish Babe
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How Many Indirect Sex Partners Have You Had? Here’s The Mathematical Formula!!
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I Like Watching Amerie Dance
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Hot Chick is Freaked the Fuck Out By Billy Mays Head
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This is Probably More Tits Than You’ve Seen in Your Life
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How To: Ruin Your Custom Motorcycle
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Jamie Chung is Worth Having a Look At
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This is One Rhianna Look I Do Not Approve OF
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One Day, I Will Bang Drew Barrymore
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FORGET THE VIAGRA. JUST CHECK THIS OUT. BLOOD FLOWS TO THE GENITALS IN 3…2…1 … (CLICK)
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This Bitch Looks Like She’ll Bite Your Dick Off and Drink Your Blood, But Really is Just Full of Shit….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

24

Sep

Phoebe Price in Some American Apparel Leggings of the Day

There is always something weird about seeing an older lady dressed like a teenage girl. I don’t find it hot now, because I like teenage girls and I’m not too into old ladies, but I will tell you this, if I was a young guy, I’d be applying for a job at American Apparel, because this whole hanging onto her youth bullshit, you know a bitch wearing shredded leggings, or a bitch in a sheer top, is a bitch who wants some young cock in her to help her forget her age or about her husband and annoying responsibilities, and they are usually the kind of bitch who will actually seduce a motherfucker in the changing room, you know ask him to adjust her bra for her, because life gets boring and depressing and the taste of youth makes it a little better, even if you look like a fucking clown in the process….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:American Apparel|Leggings|Phoebe Price

2009

24

Sep

16 Year Old Fucks His Teacher of the Day

School wasn’t this fun when I was a kid. People were not fucking the teachers and if they were, none of us knew anything about it cuz you know dirty pedophile men and love getting work in the school system whether it is as a volunteer or a bus driver or fuckin’ janitor. I do know that nd if there was no bragging about fucking any female teachers and everyone knows that if shit went down, there would be a hell of a lot of bragging, which brings me to my next question, why the fuck would any teacher in their right mind fuck a teenage boy, the second dude came it probably went on blast. You know a press release issued and sketches drawn, cuz that’s what teenage boys do.

Worst of all this bitch who couldn’t contain her dirty little pussy and had to jump his teenage dick used a condom, everyone knows 16 year olds can’t give you aids, it’s like proven by science or some shit, instead she left the wrapper on the ground and that shit is being used against her in court, because fucking a 16 year old is a crime in this culture, repressing us and making us do bad things, when back in the day girls were getting knocked up at 14 and parent’s weren’t whining about the shit, they were wrapping up their cow as a fuckin dowry.

Either way, good story for the 16 year old, he got all the press he wanted and now we all know he’s not a virgin, shitty story for a woman just trying to do a kid a favor….

This story hit MONTHS ago, but this is some coverage of the trial.

Posted in:Sandra Binkley|Teacher Sex

2009

24

Sep

Cameron Diaz is Flirting with the Fireman of the Day

I guess either Cameron Diaz’s Biological Clock is ticking, you know that whole really fucking horny at 35 bullshit you read about but wish doesn’t actually happen because your fat wife you married 10 years ago is turning 35 and you don’t want to have to fuck her twice a day like you were 18, you just want to watch football….or she’s lookin’ for new cock, maybe because all the guys she meets in Hollywood aren’t real men, you know they spend more time getting ready than a bitch, spend more time talking about what to wear or how to get their hair done than a bitch, and act worse that a bitch when they don’t get their coffee served to them proper, so she’s turned to an everyday joe fireman who happens to be on set of her new movie making sure a stunt goes right.

Based on these pictures they had sex cuz I can practically hear her pussy dripping down her fucking leg and into a puddle between her legs with how smitten she looks and I know any man in their right mind would pretty much put their life and prior commitments aside for a night with this bitch with the delusion that she’ll fall in love with them and take them long on her hollywood life.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Flirting

2009

24

Sep

Barrack’s Stimulus Package of the Day

One of the first times I ever walked into a sex shop, the first porn DVD I saw was Edward Penishands and I thought shit was genius. I was in my mid 20s and wasn’t really that well versed in porn as I spent most of my time in stripclubs or fucking drunk chicks and prostitutes when I was drunk. If I had to jerk off it’d be to music videos, national geographic and late night infomercials.

I only had one porn that was some bootleg incest shit from Georgia in the 70s and another Playboy softcore shit we stole from a music store and an old VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.

Since those days, I have fully submerged myself in the porn world, one would even say I exhausted the shit to the point that I am desensitized and not not on top of my game, cuz a month ago this Barrack Stimulus Package shit hit the internet, and I shoulda been the first to post it since I think it is clever, but instead, I am posting it today.

Posted in:Obama|Parody|Porno Spoof

2009

24

Sep

Karina Smirnoff is Nude for PETA of the Day

Karina Smirnoff is naked in heels in some PETA ad. I thought PETA was supposed to be shocking and cutting edge. I hardly think posting a picture of an ex-human trafficked Russian prostitute who escapted her captors and came to America with a husband who bought her who she later had to runaway from because he wasn’t living the life of luxury she expected and instead had a one bedroom apartment and a huge porn collection that he spent the last 15 years masturbating to while saving enough money to buy her. He eventually got abusive because he wasn’t comfortable with someone in his space as he was used to being alone and when he wasn’t beating her with soup cans, he would make her stare at pictures of war torn Russia, sayin he’d send her back if she didn’t do the dishes faster, cook better, and suck his dick harder. When out on the street her only skill was ballet, she was Russian and that’s what they teach the kids along with gynmastics and figure skating as it is a culture of fuckin’ dance, so she did what any down on her luck immigrant who can dance like a fuckin’ angel would do, and that was hit the strip club, eventually lap dancing for a TV Producer and landing a gig in Hollywood that lead to where she is now, naked on a PETA ad staing she’s “Rather Dance Naked Than Wear Fur”, meanwhile everyone knows she loves dancing naked, that shit gave her everything she’s got and it also got her pregnant, but that’s a whole other story I’ll save for another day….yes, I am the unofficial Karina Smirnoff biographer….

Posted in:Karina Smirnoff|Nude|PETA

2009

24

Sep

Ashlee Simpson Showing Off Her Skinny Body of the Day

Ashlee Simpson’s back on the scene and she’s looking pretty fucking skinng and I guess the only real damage from making a deal with the devil in order to have the love of her life, a homosexual singer named Pete Wentz, knock her up is that she’s slowly turning into a bird, that or her nosejob nose is just more pronounced now that she’s stopped eating, one of the many tricks she’s busted out in hopes of seducing Wentz because he constantly turns her down when she comes on to him and always needs to come up with a solid excuse to lower her self esteem enough so that she stops putting him in that awkward position. You know, in the beginning it was that her nose was too big, so she developed a complex and got it fixed, then it was that she was pregnant from turning his gay-sex condoms inside out and fucking herself with them to lock him in, so she gave birth, than it was that she was too fat and disgusting since the baby, so she starved herself and started working out, and even that wasn’t good enough to get him hard, so while he’s at home thinking of his next excuse to turn down sex, she’s out wearing revealing clothes to get some male attention…any male attention because she is so deprived at home.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Skinny