I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

24

Sep

Barrack’s Stimulus Package of the Day

One of the first times I ever walked into a sex shop, the first porn DVD I saw was Edward Penishands and I thought shit was genius. I was in my mid 20s and wasn’t really that well versed in porn as I spent most of my time in stripclubs or fucking drunk chicks and prostitutes when I was drunk. If I had to jerk off it’d be to music videos, national geographic and late night infomercials.

I only had one porn that was some bootleg incest shit from Georgia in the 70s and another Playboy softcore shit we stole from a music store and an old VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.

Since those days, I have fully submerged myself in the porn world, one would even say I exhausted the shit to the point that I am desensitized and not not on top of my game, cuz a month ago this Barrack Stimulus Package shit hit the internet, and I shoulda been the first to post it since I think it is clever, but instead, I am posting it today.

Posted in:Obama|Parody|Porno Spoof

2009

24

Sep

Karina Smirnoff is Nude for PETA of the Day

Karina Smirnoff is naked in heels in some PETA ad. I thought PETA was supposed to be shocking and cutting edge. I hardly think posting a picture of an ex-human trafficked Russian prostitute who escapted her captors and came to America with a husband who bought her who she later had to runaway from because he wasn’t living the life of luxury she expected and instead had a one bedroom apartment and a huge porn collection that he spent the last 15 years masturbating to while saving enough money to buy her. He eventually got abusive because he wasn’t comfortable with someone in his space as he was used to being alone and when he wasn’t beating her with soup cans, he would make her stare at pictures of war torn Russia, sayin he’d send her back if she didn’t do the dishes faster, cook better, and suck his dick harder. When out on the street her only skill was ballet, she was Russian and that’s what they teach the kids along with gynmastics and figure skating as it is a culture of fuckin’ dance, so she did what any down on her luck immigrant who can dance like a fuckin’ angel would do, and that was hit the strip club, eventually lap dancing for a TV Producer and landing a gig in Hollywood that lead to where she is now, naked on a PETA ad staing she’s “Rather Dance Naked Than Wear Fur”, meanwhile everyone knows she loves dancing naked, that shit gave her everything she’s got and it also got her pregnant, but that’s a whole other story I’ll save for another day….yes, I am the unofficial Karina Smirnoff biographer….

Posted in:Karina Smirnoff|Nude|PETA

2009

24

Sep

Ashlee Simpson Showing Off Her Skinny Body of the Day

Ashlee Simpson’s back on the scene and she’s looking pretty fucking skinng and I guess the only real damage from making a deal with the devil in order to have the love of her life, a homosexual singer named Pete Wentz, knock her up is that she’s slowly turning into a bird, that or her nosejob nose is just more pronounced now that she’s stopped eating, one of the many tricks she’s busted out in hopes of seducing Wentz because he constantly turns her down when she comes on to him and always needs to come up with a solid excuse to lower her self esteem enough so that she stops putting him in that awkward position. You know, in the beginning it was that her nose was too big, so she developed a complex and got it fixed, then it was that she was pregnant from turning his gay-sex condoms inside out and fucking herself with them to lock him in, so she gave birth, than it was that she was too fat and disgusting since the baby, so she starved herself and started working out, and even that wasn’t good enough to get him hard, so while he’s at home thinking of his next excuse to turn down sex, she’s out wearing revealing clothes to get some male attention…any male attention because she is so deprived at home.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Skinny

2009

24

Sep

Kevin Federline’s New Girlfriend Legs of the Day

Her name is Victoria Prince and her claim to fame is that she is dating Kevin Federline and I wonder how that shit happened. I mean we all know the story of the man with the potent sperm and ability to get anyone pregnant, that he practiced on some black chick before perfecting on Britney, you know cuz when he was in there he didn’t want to fuck up the lottery ticket god had given him and his piece of trash self.

Was she a Britney fan and wanted all things Britney? You know that everytime his dick slides in her she hears the faint sounds of “hit me baby one more time” playing back in her head.

Was she swept up my K-Fed’s charm that landed him the biggest popstar in the world, and did she believe that he would amount to something huge in the music industry since he already mastered being huge filling out his XXXL t-shirt. Hoping that K-Fed would make her famous….

I guess what we do know for sure is that she will end up fat, pregnant and alone and the weridest thing in all this is that I just wrote a post about this bullshit.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Girlfriend|Kevin Federline|Legs

2009

24

Sep

Amber Heard’s Legs Posing with Zombies of the Day

Amber Heard is some actor in the movie Zombieland. She is also an idiot and was quoted saying something along the lines that she decided to not be a model because modeling takes no talent but acting has substance, something I’m sure 95 percent of actors agree with and 95 percent of non-actors laugh at cuz we all know these cunts are just scamming all of us and getting paid big money for the shit.

She was posing with a zombie cuz zombie’s are the new vampires and lookin’at her, I realize that I wouldn’t mind eating her brains, and by brains I mean pussy.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Amber Heard|Zombie

2009

24

Sep

Chantelle Houghton Carries Her Box of the Day

Here’s the dumbest concept I’ve ever heard. Some asshole in the UK opened up a coffee shop called “Central Perk” as a recreation to the coffee shop that was in the show “Friends” and they did it with the launch of the 15th anniversary Friends Box set, pretty much meaning that the opening of this coffee shop is about 15 years too late and I guess they proof is in the trash who showed up to the shit like this bitch Chantelle Houghton, who is an ex contestant of UK Big Brother and who heard they were giving out these box sets that she’ll turn around and sell on eBay because she’s spent all her money on eating, as you can tell by her pudgy body, leaving her pretty close to turning to porn, which isn’t going to be that big of a transition, since the fake tan, fake hair, fake tits are already in place…but more importantly because she’s a slut….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Box|Chantelle Houghton

2009

24

Sep

Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox in the Interracial Couple Update of the Day

Eliza Dushku is a jock slut. Her last boyfriend was Oklahoma’s very own Brad Penny, and I am sure he throws up everytime he thinks about a black cock sliding deep and I’m talking real deep into his ex-girlfriend’s box.

To make those wounds sting a little more, I figured I’d post these pictures of Rick Fox showing up on the set of Dushku’s show. I figured like most new couples, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other and figured she had an hour break, so they might as well fuck each other’s brains out in her trailer, because you might as well fuck every chance you get, no matter how many pieces that shit leaves her in.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|IRC|Rick Fox

2009

24

Sep

Sara Paxton’s Mouth is Full of the Day

Her name is Sarah Paxton. She’s a good little Jewish girl from California and like a good little Jewish girl she’s wearing a pair of cutoff jean shorts and UGGs. I feel like I am on they bench outside my local synagogue masturbating this little rich girls with my eyes.

She’s starring in some bullshit Ashton Kutcher produced show that I hope none of you motherfuckers watch because that cocksucker doesn’t deserve another penny from any of us, no matter how often this Sarah Paxton bitch simulates her mouth being filled up to the brim with my seed. If you know what I mean, which you probably don’t, because if you read this site, your load doesn’t fill anything up, it just stains your white t-shirts.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Full|Mouth|Sara Paxton

2009

24

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I was hating my life earlier today, so I sat outside a shitty restaurant on a bench drinking. I was lucky enough to be stuck next to a couple 9 to 5 workers bitching and whining and crying about their shitty lives, their shitty cars, their shitty girlfriends, their shitty bosses and their shitty meetings. They went on about all their shitty responsibility that they though was important but was really just fucking useless and made to seem important because some asshole had to do it and the bosses were smart enough to chose that idiot cuz he’s not going anywhere, and I realized that my life may suck but at least I am not one of those people, but I am fucking drunk and all that brought me new hope like I hope these links bring you….I will start posting less links soon….cuz I realize clicking on the shit is a lot less work than putting them up and I still get complaints about it being too long…assholes…

Cheryl Tweedy is Lookin’ Retro Sexy and I Like It
GO

I’m Not Big on Lists, But the SLUT LIST Sounds About as Good as a List Can Get
GO

You Say Slut, I Say Slut Phase
GO

Jessica Simpson is Pretty Much on Her Way to a Meltdown, So Let’s Start Popping Pop Corn to Watch
GO

Ozzy Does a Samsung Commerical
GO

Downhill Human Tetris – VIDEO
GO

30 Languages of Rap – VIDEO
GO

Some Big Brother Slut From the UK Has a Hairy Box
GO

100 Years of Special Effects
GO

I Don’t Know What It Is, But I Think Jennier Lopez is Hot Again and Needs to Ditch Skeletor
GO

Marilyn Manson Has Swine Flu and I Hope He Dies Just to The Summer of Death Claims One Last Victim
GO

The Anatomy of a Fast Food Restaurant
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Anna Friel Likes to Have Breakfast At Tiffany’s in the Nude
GO

Molly Sims is as Hot as Ever and Actualy Kind of Funny Too
GO

Karina Smirnoff Would ‘Rather Dance Naked Than Wear Fur’ And Here’s the Proof
GO

Little Kim is Disgusting Man
GO

I Dunno Who Pitbull is But He Has Some Fine Bitches in His Video
GO

Mackenzie Phillips Use to Make Sex With Her Papa
Who Was Also a Papa in the Mamas and the Papas
GO

Sunny Leone is Soaking Wet
GO

Circus Act Fail, That’s What You Get You Fucking Carnie
GO

Horny Blondes Plus a Strap On
GO

Brooke Lee Adams is What Dreams Are Made Of
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Ciara Christensen Photoshoot
GO

A Touch of Heather Never Hurt Anyone
GO

I Still Got it Bad for Freida Pinto
GO

Jackie Degg is Naked on the Beach
GO

Sweet Outdoor Amateur
GO

Some Taylor Momsen Jailbait Action Cause You’re a Perv and You’re Into That
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Merilyn is Busty and in a Tiny Black Bikini
GO

Brooke Williams Cyber Slut
GO

Holy Fuck Hasn’t This Carrie Prejean Slut Disappeared Yet?
GO

It’s in the Wrong Hole!
GO

Fuck the Aquarium, There’s Tits to Look At!
GO

Khloe Kardashian Really Is Getting Married to The Biggest Man I Have Seen Since Her
GO

I Want This Pool Table in My Living Room, There’s Not Furniture In There Anyways
GO

Check Out This 4 Year Old on the Drums
GO

Beware of the Boob Stare
GO

Lindsay Lohan Throws a Beer Out of Her Car, Which is Totally the Behaviour of Someone Who is Sober and Doesn’t Belong in Rehab
GO

Swine Flu Rap
GO

DENISE MILANI’S MOST REVEALING PHOTO SHOOT YET … IN OTHER WORDS, SHE REALLY SHOWS OFF HER TITS IN THIS ONE!
GO

History of the Greatest Teen Rebellion Movies of all Time
GO

Britney Lookin’ The Way I Like Her Lookin’…GUTTER
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

23

Sep

Aubrey O’Day Addresses The New Leaked Topless Pics To Promote Herself of the Day

Attention whore Aubrey O’Day posted a video of herself in a sheer bra on Youtube that should be taken down for being pornographic and breaking the Youtube rules, but it is kinda hot if fake tits in sheer bras is your thing.

I didn’t listen to what she said, but she was whining about the nude pics that were leaked of her and her doughy body from her Peepshow premiere in an obvious attempt to milk this shit as hard as she can. She claims she was on the phone with lawyers internationally like posting her nude pic is a fucking crime, but the truth is that she is just trying to get more people talking about her to sell more tickets and give her more work.

The whole thing is bullshit, but I guess then again, so is she.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Tits