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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Sep

Taylor Momsen Dressed Like a 16 Year Old Genie of the Day

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I have a story of a girl who reminds me a lot of this Taylor Momsen chick, only she wasn’t 16, she was 18 but looked pretty much the same as this Taylor Momsen chick, tall, skinny, fake blonde ratty hair and a fucked up scraggle face and it goes like this.

Close to 10 years ago, right before I met my wife in person, I was fucking around on a chatroom or forum, it’s been a while and my memory is shit, but I was talking to this young girl who kept complaining about her telemarketing job and how broke she was and it turned out she lived right down the street from me. Rent was due and she was desperate. I saw opportunity.

So after talking for a few days, I convinced her that she needed to become a stripper because it is easy money. She had never been to a stripclub, had no money to go to a stripclub but did have a bottle of rum she got on a family vacation to Cuba or some bullshit and I was thirsty and in the mood for an low impact adventure that I didn’t have to leave my house for. So I offered to teach her everything I knew.

So she shows up at my shitty apartment, hands me the bottle, puts her CD in and starts dancing her skinny body around. She sucked and was pulling weird hip hop moves but was getting naked, flashing me and the whole thing was okay, even if her skinny body wasn’t much to look at, and her face was even worse to look at, mainly because she was missing teeth. My theory was that at least she didn’t smell, even though she looked like she would….
Either way, the whole thing was so funny I had to invite my friend over to see this bitch and he stayed for a few minutes, but I could tell she was feeling awkward and we had so much more to get done, like lap dances, so he left.

I started to explain the lap dance to her, she started playing out what I was telling her to do and I ended up going down on her when she stuck her ass in my face, at that point I was pretty drunk and decided to bang her without a condom, figuring broke girls who never go to stripclubs ,who you meet off the internet because they want you to teach them how to strip are safe, especially when they are only 18. I think I even busted inside her and remember for at least a week thinkinghow much it would suck if I had knocked her up and had to hang with her raising the kid together until I pissed fire and razor blades from the STD she gave me cuz it turned out that 18 year olds you meet off the internet who are missing teeth and look unshowered who go to strangers houses to strip for free and let you bang them without a condom after drinking a bottle of rum, aren’t usually the safest people to have unprotected sex with…..at least it was only one of those anti-biotic STDs….

Here are some pics of Taylor Momsen reminding me of a dirtier time….dressed like a genie.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Genie|Taylor Momsen

2009

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Lookin’ Hot When Shopping of the Day

2 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is in New York, probably for fashion week, you know, to feed her fashion addcition, and chronic spending habits, that I don’t really know why I know about, but know that being the first up on the newest designs or some shit is probably a big deal to her.

Sure, I don’t fully understand because if I had my choice I wouldn’t wear clothes out of the house, unfortunately everytime I try that, I get stopped before leaving my building by either a neighbor or janitor or whoever the fuck is hanging around cuz we are a compound of degenerate, jobless bums…..so the whole concept of spending money on clothes is insane to me to begin with and even when I was working a couple decades ago, before the whole alcoholism really took a hold of my life and dictated my future, I never fell for that levis crap back when they were only 50 dollars, so I don’t really grasp how anyone fall for the new scam and spend 1000 dollars on a pair of jeans, even if you’re a bored ex-starlet who gets a nice risidual check on DVD sales from the last movie she did 10 years ago and can afford it. Those gays over in Paris and their Jewish financiers are screwing you woman….and based on these pictures, I wouldn’t fuckin’ mind if I was…you know walk up all secretly from behind and slip it in, trust me you won’t feel a thing, and I probably won’t either, but at least it’ll be a story I can put on my tombstone.

Jesus “Bonertown” Martiez
1970 – 2080
“Here lies a soul officially died in 2000 when he got married to his fat wife, but was revived for a few hours after he surprise-sexed Lindsay Lohan in 2009, She didn’t know it happened, thanks to his small dick/her big vagina but he did and That’s All That Matters”

Enough of that stupidity, here are those hot pics of her…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Breasts|Legs|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Sep

Miranda Kerr is Touching Her Tit of the Day

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Victoria’s Secret / Sports Illustrated supermodel from Australia with the wide face that is better at catching cum that little faces, is in New York City for Fashion Week and she’s walking around in a tight strapless dress holding her tit so that it doesn’t fall out and crossing her legs so she doesn’t flash her panties, like we haven’t already seen her pretty much naked before.

I figure if you’re a whore and get paid to get half fuckin’ naked, it doesn’t hurt to give a little back for fuckin’ free every once in a while, playing the prude, shy bitch acting all coy and cute just doesn’t work, cuz we all know if we had 10,000 dollars an hour, we could book you’re skinny model ass I want to fuck, like the expensive whore you are.

Here are the pics.

Pictures via INFphoto and PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|Tit

2009

Sep

Not the Hottest Black Booty I’ve Seen of the Day

4 Comments »

My black girl fetish continues, sure writing about htis shit at least once a day hasn’t lead to me getting any pictures or love letters from black girls, but it has brought out a lot of racist people who don’t seem to like black people and feel like all immigrants, including mexican, arab and asians are ruining their countryside, emailing me reason why I shouldn’t have a black girl fetish, then today I came across this video and these bitches aren’t disgusting enough to ruin a whole race of people for me, even though, they are pretty disgusting, and that concludes this post on a black ass that can’t ruin my black girl fetish, but that can make me give up on eating fast food.

Posted in:Black Girl Fetish

2009

Sep

Whitney Port’s Stupid Pinhead and Skinny Legs of the Day

1 Comment »

Whitney Port has a little lookin pinhead of a head and I guess that may explain why she’s retarded, you know, not enough room for her brain to grow to its full potential or some shit, not that I know if she’s even retarded, I’ve never seen The Hills, I just know I hate it and I also know she gets paid big bucks to be on it, which is better than being a retard in life without getting paid and the whole thing just leads me to believe that maybe I’m the retard, despite my head being of normal size and from past experience most retards actually have really big fucking heads, so my logic is totally wrong, so maybe you should just look at her legs and masturbate, if you’re into skinny awkward lookin’ things.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Skinny Legs|Small Head|Whitney Port

2009

Sep

Jenna Haze Shit Herself in a Bikini of the Day

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Jenna Haze is one of the more popular pornstars around from what I remember someone in the industry telling me and I guess it has to do with her having natural tits and possibly lookin’ young compared to the other haggared bitches who fuck on camera for money, but I like to think it has to do with her anal sex scenes, which as you can see have damaged her enough to lose all control of her bowels…..

Here she is in her fucking bikini, which none of you really give a fuck about because you’ve seen her have dirty fucking sex of all varieties.

What I do know is that she looks like a serious fucking crack addict and I am surprised she even has all her teeth or that she’s on the fucking beach in Malibu, when she looks like she should be on the beach in your hometown lookin’ for empty bottles drunk teens threw in the river, like a crafty crackwhore who doesn’t like going up against the old lady who has dibs on the recycling bins, and who doesn’t want to wait til sundown before being able to give 5 dollar blowjobs since blowjobs aren’t easy to sell during the day and it is all in hopes of collecting enough to buy another fucking hit,.

She looks horrible, her ass is horrible, her face is horrible, everything about her is horrible but I guess when it comes to finding girls willing to fuck on camera, the hot ones usually say no and get real jobs, unless they are Kayden Kross, in which case they just give me boners…Kayden if you’re out there baby, remember our marriage vows…ok enough of that.. here is Jenna Haze….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Janna Haze|Pornstar

2009

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

School has started and so has my on campus creeping. Just letting you all know if I’m not on the internet, I’m probably out hiding under a staircase somewhere or some shit, trying to look up skirts or in a college bar, trying to influence the fresh talent into doing things that make them not so fuckin’ fresh, even if it never works out in my favor, I am ambitious and willing to keep trying until one day one of them falls for my trap……I don’t know what I am talking about, I never really do. I just know that I am saving up all my money for spring motherfuckin’ break. Unfortunately, I have no money….I’m just trying to relate with today’s youth(at least their vaginas). Enough of that…
Here are my stepLINKS….

If Any Picture of Katie Price Ever Really Made ME Want to Puke, It’s This One (and by puke I mean cum)
GO

Tila Tequila’s Tits Are About to Explode
GO

Eva Mendes is Almost See Through
GO

Farting Just Got More Competitive
GO

Because Yesterday Was a Holidy, Today May As Well Be Monday and Mondays Pretty Much Suck
GO

How To: Make a Hot Dog Flute!
GO

Who Knew Wine Could Be So Awesome?!
GO

Kristen Stewart is a Big Ball of Grease
GO

The 10 Women To Watch From The Fall 2009 TV Season
GO

Some Ridiculous Fake Tits on Some Tacky Fucking Bitches
GO

Amazing Beer Pong Shots That Are Probably Fake, But Whatever.
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO
How To: Enjoy a Strip Club on $30
GO

Amy Winehouse May As Well Be Masterbating with a Crack Pipe
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Tila Tequila is a Genius
GO

Any Movie Where Penny Cruz Gets Naked is Fine By Me
GO

I Love Frieda Pinto
GO

Jenny is a Gaper
GO

Why Do Japanese People Love Hugh Jackman So Much?
GO

Would Somebosy Please Just Fucking Kill Lady Gaga?
GO

Seriously, I Hope Someonein MA Gets Eaten By a Shark. How Awesome Would That Be?
GO

And MORE Penny Cruz
GO

Lizzie is Sexy
GO

What an Ungrateful Bitch – VIDEO
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Busty Teen Whores
GO

Red Head Teen
GO

Talk About a Bad Day – VIDEO
GO

Accidents Caught on Camera – OOPS
GO

You Know, I Miss the Fat, Happy Tori Spelling
GO

Amateur Glory
GO

I Almost Forgot About Mira Sorvino
GO

Bella Lifts Her Skirt
GO

Club Hotties That Will Make You Sweat
GO

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, I Love You
GO

Seriously, Dita Von Tease Needs a New Act
GO

“Twilight” Corn Maze To Be the Most Fun “Twilight” Related Activity Since Crying
GO

Maybe Chris Brown is the Next Michael Jackson
GO

A Tail of Two Pussies
GO

BRAND NEW PICTURES OF DEMI MOORE THAT MAKE ME WANT TO KILL ASHTON KUTCHER!
GO

I Wanna Fuck This Naked Chick
GO

PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Disney Boy is Probably not Someone Disney Endorses…In Fact He’s Quite Homo at Least on Photobucket…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Sep

Camila Alves in Some Pregnancy Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Here name is Camila Alves and you know her as the immigrant model who Matthew McConaughey fucks and knocks up on the regular basis from another country but I like to think I know her as the hairy little troll I wanted to fuck before she got knocked up on the regular and gave up on her man-scaping, not that she’s built like a man, she’s just hairy like one and despite hairy bitches being disgusting, their testosterone levels are where you want them to be when it comes to sex drive, cuz those bitches high on estrogen just never wanna fuck, they are too busy crying about everything….where a testosterone bitch is too busy taking it from every angle….and in Camila Alves case, her chronically swollen uterus is the proof!!

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Camila Alves|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Sophie Monk Shows Off Some Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

I like the idea of Australian chicks, they are marketed as being laid back drinkers with hot bikini bodies, sun damage and open minded about getting fucked after a day of surfing, but with the laid back drinker attitude that is down with fucking randoms all the time, comes risk of herpes, which really isn’t that big of a deal since there’s medication to prevent that shit, but not something I’d ignore if a bitch I was about to fuck without a condom told me she had, because why put yourself thru that kind of headache if you don’t have to and that good news is that Sophie Monk takes out the mystery of her pussy because she has fucked Paris Hilton’s sloppy seconds while she was still engaged to him, so her just walking around is like a MeetPeopleWithHerpes ad, without having to go thru the annoying sign up process on their website….so I guess she’s providing us with a service that we should thank her for…

Pics via Fame Pictures

Posted in:Legs|Sophie Monk

2009

Sep

Marisa Miller in Some Lingerie Pictures of the Day

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I think Marisa Miller’s face is a little too old to be getting paid millions to dress up in lingerie and pose, but I guess guys out there appreciate an older woman with a ripped athletic body and I guess her implants are less that 20 years old, so we can find happiness in that, even though I fuckin’ hate implants. I also hate bras that contour bodies so much that bitches don’t get hard nipples anymore, because it’s nearly impossible to show off thru a shirt with all those straps and padding, it’s like the bra has become some kind of military armor that fucks up my fantasies when staring at girls I don’t know in the street who would otherwise have hard nipples, so that’s why companies like Victoria’s Secret need to go bankrupt and bring back a time when bitches didn’t need bras or fake tit lookin’ cleavage…give me a pointy, sloppy tit anyday ove that phony garbage….

Posted in:Lingerie|Marisa Miller