I guess Hilary Duff got herself on Gossip Girl for more than one reason. Yesterday, I said that she was doing it to stay relevant, jumping up on a hot show so people would remember her, but now I think it’s got more to do with her using the show as an opportunity to get her TV crush up in her pussy because I guess now that she’s got all fat and dumpy and her boyfriend and his Hockey Team have slowed down on the stickin’ her ass and pussy while jerking each other off in some sort of team building initiation since it is the off season or some shit has made her desperate and figured she might as well get paid for male attention instead of paying for it and I guess none of that matters but here’s the picture proof anyway, cuz that’s what I do..
Her name is Brittany Snow and I had no idea who she was because her face is ugly and I don’t really like ugly chicks unless my dick is bounching off their “soft palate”, but it turns out that she’s from Tampa, a quite luxurious place if you are white trash and I also found out that her dad quit his job as an insurrance broker to work for her organizing her “schedule”, which is code for taking 20% of her paycheck cuz it worked out to more that the 45,000 dollars a year he was making before, only now he doesn’t have to go into work every fucking day, and I guess its the least this cunt could do because he pretty much made her and speaking of cunt, here he is getting in or out of a car flashing something that may or may not be her black vagina, and is probably just black panties…enjoy….weirdo.
Sometimes when I am in bed late at night, I lay there thinking that if Joan Rivers’ face looks like this….what could her pussy possibly look like…is it made of plastic, or a rubber insert, or is it the original model she was born with, that’s had no work done to it and is riped like the old peach I found behind my kitchen table last week and I don’t even eat peaches. Shit was so rotten, it was just a dried up shell…there was no moisture or smell, just death…..and I guess I will never know the answer….
Joanna Krupa would be more interesting of a slut if she actually grew up in Poland during communism, instead the bitch fled the shit when she was 5 like some little pussy too scared to enter the Eastern European sex trade and that kind of lack of discipline and commitment to her journey to America the land of opportunity makes me mad. When I know she got her at 5 and lived an American life, with American wants and needs and lazy American struggle to the top, I realize why she is barely famous, but tried a few years ago and is trying again by being on Dancing with the Stars who are hardly stars….and here she is at some event….
All this whole comeback thing is too bad, because before she hit rock bottom she was modeling for some trashy lingerie company, showing off her titties and even rockin’s some crotchless panties, leading me to believe if things got bad enough for her, she woulda sucked dick on camera to stay relevant but then fuckin’ Dancing with the Stars had to ruin that shit for me….Cocksuckers….
I used to watch TGIF on ABC a bunch of years back and ponder where I went wrong in my life that at 30 I was sitting at home drinking whiskey with two teenage girls who weren’t mine watching TGIF on ABC like being wholesome was supposed to be fun or some shit. It was a turning point in my life where I figured I had made a mistake and fucking hookers and drinking myself into the gutter on random drug induced adventures was a hell of a lot more interesting that this shit and whenever this Teenage Witch bullshit would come on, I’d get real mad, because her fucked up face fucked up the only thing that was interesting about watching TGIF on ABC and that was fantasizing about fucking the shit out of the girls on the show. I’m talking to you Topanga, you fat useless whore…..
I just woke up from being passed the fuck out for the last 6 hours because I guess I am dying or have some kind of terminal illness that hasn’t been detected because I haven’t passed out in public and saved by the paramedics, so instead I’m just a ticking timebomb, but I the good news is that I woke up with a hard on, meaning I still got it. The bad news is that the warm wetness I thought was a blowjob from an amazing girl was actually my dog lickin’ my dick. Now I have to deal with the fact that my wife doesn’t turn me on but my dog does so maybe that means I’m into beastiality or maybe it just means my wife is disgusting as fuck. Either way, here are my steplinks while I go Google “Signs I am into beastiality?” ….Enjoy….
Here is Karina Smirnoff the Dancing with the Stars chick showing some skin, almost flashing her ass, and if you want to see the real deal, you can turn into her dancing show, because she shows a hell of a lot more skin there than in these pictures and the only reason I even care is because she’s named after a vodka company, and even if it is lowend bullshit vodka, shit’s better than the time I got drunk drinking rubbing alcohol to see if I’d go blind, not that that has anything to do with this whore, unless she’s the heir to the company, which I doubt, I think it’s most likely just a stage name playing up her Russian mail order bride roots….
I am still trying to figure out who told Victoria’s Secret to get out of lingerie and to go into everyday clothes because these photoshoot pics of Doutzen Kroes would be a lot more interesting if I could see her pussy. I guess when people try to make money they lose their fuckin’ soul and we all have to fuckin’ suffer. Not that the Victoria’s Secret catalog played a huge role in my life, but the idea of girls in their underwear is a hell of a lot more interesting that the idea of girls in jeans. Pretty simple logic…
At least they were keeping it fresh with some of the weirdos on set….
Hilary Duff made the genius career move of guest starring on Gossip Girls and she did it wearing a tight dress. I guess when nothing else is really going on in your career as you slowly age and slowly get fat you have that constant fear of becoming a Jonathan Taylor Thomas where the fuck is he now situation, so you get on the hottest show and let the world know that despite your boyish good looks slowly disappearing like shit was David Copperfield, you aren’t dead yet and I’m really not complaining, whatever harnesses are in this dress are doing her some good.
Miley Cyrus has a face that reminds me of my friend who had some disorder and they had to put the motherfucker on some sort of steroid treatment that turned the motherfucker into some kind of walking marshmallow lookin’ piece of shit and it always shocks me when dudes I meet say she’s hot. I get it, the Disney guys in the office when she was 14 who had parental consent from Billy Ray did what they had to do, because they knew they weren’t going to jail, and when else do you get to fuck with a 14 year old. It’s like the time a stripper asked me to fuck her or the time that girl we never met asked my friend to piss in her face, you just gotta take the opportunity when it strikes, but for the average viewer who looks at this wonky faced slut and think it is awesome, I just will never grasp….
Here she is dressed like a cowboy because she is one.
