If I was a scientist, this would be my research topic of choice. Just thinking of all the things this tongue has come in contact with is enough to write a fuckin’ text book and coordinate a class at the University level. Shit would be part of the biology faculty, but could probably even be a Major of its own, and you could even have Lohan Tongue study groups and Lohan Tongue parties, and even Lohan Tongue departments with jackets and hats, maybe even it’s own Lohan Tongue library. Shit is just that interesting of a subject.
Unfortunately, I’m no scientist, I’m just a pervert, so I’ll just sit here and think about her tongue and all it is capable of, despite being scared of dirty girls, I have a sick fascination with them and here are some pictures of her dressed nice and wholesome….despite the opposite story her pussy is tellin’ us….
She’s supposed to be labeled the new Elle Macpherson, somehting I think only really has to do with her being from Australia and has nothing to do with her body, not that I’d really know, considering she’s wearing a fucking snuggie, you know the fashion forward ones with pinstripes, horizontal stripes or polka dots. The only almost hot thing about this shit is trying to look up her skirt while she stands on her balcony, but it’s kinda not as rewarding as seeing a bitch on a balcony in real life, you know where you can angle yourself appropriately enough to see cunt, or camp outside waiting until night falls to sneak into her apartment building to throw “I know where you live” but you don’t know who I am and I have garden tools and a mask on- surprise party….
So this is how it goes down. This bitch Annalynn McCord is not quite ugly enough to not get herself a job in Hollywood, so she decides that she can’t do it alone, maybe even feels guilty that her sisters are too ugly to make the cut, so she tells them some shit like “don’t worry, I’ll bring you with me, and it’ll be like a perpetual slumber party of fame” you know, the shit they used to talk about growing up when they decided they were destined to be the pretty sisters everyone stares at, without realizing they aren’t fuckin’ pretty, and I assume the only attention they got was cuz they were skinny and long legged, in a fat America, but even that wasn’t enough for people to care and if they were staring they were probably trying to make sense of such a good body on such a bobble head, either way, now she carts them around like ugly fashion accessories, cuz family is meant to be together, and all is probably in efforts to get them work like they were the next Kardashians….I don’t understand the fame game, but girls like this give me confidence in how easy it must be to get there….
I hate giving this girl any publicity. It’s not that she’s done anything to offend me, if anything she hasn’t done it hasn’t done anything. She was a Pussycat Doll in the Vegas show , or in Playboy, or something equally trashy and designed for the kind of chicks I hate, and now she tours shitty clubs where I am guessing she DJs or maybe just sits and poses in the VIP room and I find the whole thing pathetic, but she doesn’t. I have a friend who was in a club with her and she wouldn’t talk directly to him, she’d only talk to him thru her manager and that’s just the kind of “thinkin’ she’s more important than she is” insecurity that makes me want to cunt punch a bitch, and in reality she’s really not all that hot and I’m only posting this cuz there’s nothing else goin’ on today, which is pretty much why I post everything…
Amber Rose, the girl who is known for being Kanye West’s shopping partner, because he can’t buy women’s clothes for himself, people will start askin’ questions about how straight he is, so he might as well do it with some slutty bitch he isn’t fucking, so the media thinks he’s fucking her, so that no one calls him out on suckin’ dick while wearing panties.
Either way she took her Irrelevant Celebrity Status to an Irrelevant Event, like the Guess store opening, because I guess Guess didn’t die when their poster girl Anna Nicole did, it died long before that….
Speaking of Guess, when I was younger and more sociable, before just giving people dirty looks, I’d throw out bra sizes at girls wearing Guess shirts like they were asking me to guess their titty size and great times were had by all…
I saw this video doing the rounds, and I got annoyed, because I know the company who wrote and approved the script and paid to air the final product, is going to walk away from this with their tail between their legs, like typical fuckin’ companies who fear they offended people, and the whole thing is bullshit.
I am just waiting for a company to do something that is misinterpreted by the public and have them stand by their commercials or statements, I am tired of the constant backtracking to please assholes who have no idea what’s up.
So this “Offensive” commercial is a group of black girls getting a weave, because guess what, lots of black girls get weaves, and they talk about their weaves and they even get saved from getting shot cuz of their weaves and sure other girls get weaves too, and lots of strippers and tacky bitches get weaves, because they just aren’t for black chicks, but seriously, I wouldn’t say this shit is racist, it looks pretty true to life to me. If it was racist, they’d be eating a bucket of chicken, having daddy-less babies between shifts at the stripclub where they beat up every white girl, and most importantly, they wouldn’t have a cellular cuz shit woulda got disconnected 3 months earlier when they stopped payin the fuckin’ bill.
Grow some fuckin’ balls people and get a fuckin’ sense of humor about shit.
Here’s LeAnn Rimes walking around. I hear she’s working on a new album about her slow voyage into lesbianism. I think there was a time dudes wanted to fuck this, and that’s why I am assuming it’s called “From Pussy People Wanted to Fuck to Pussy That Scissors other Pussy” Sure that’s weak, but I watched my friend piss in a random girl’s mouth last night after we watched her finger herself while on her period before suckin’ the blood off her fingers and starting up on fingering her ass, all while not being ugly, and nothing I write will compare to that amazingness, I am still in some kind of daze about that shit….
I was sitting at home earlier tonight with nothing to do. I was just tagged myself as the crotch on random facebook girls’ pictures and messaging them saying “I own your pussy” but that got boring fast. So I decided to get up, get out, and get drinking, despite my vow to quit drinking the other day, I looked at it as some kind of goodbye party, that was more of a welcome home party to my alcoholism.
Now drinking lead me to meeting a random hot girl on the street outside an apartment, who had black make-up on like she was a cat, or at least a crazy person, and she invited me and my two friends in to do some blow. It was random, I thought shit, doesn’t she know she could get raped and realized when her pants were off and she was fingering her ass, licking period blood off her finger while my friend pissed in her mouth, that she meant business. Clearly, I like breaking girls who would not do that on a normal night into doing that and not girls who offer that shit up everytime they do a bag of coke, because it makes me feel like I am taking advantage of them or a molester or going to get AIDS but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t one of the best nights of the week and I have drinking to thank for that….seriously…fucking insane.
I got her number, maybe she’ll get wasted and let us relive it with a video camera….
Because Busting a Nut is a RIGHT Not a PRIVILEDGE GO
This story brings hope of a better tomorrow, because tomorrow, I am going on a road trip and this video pretty much secured the destination……The law has finally done something right for me and I figure I better rush before it’s too fuckin’ late and they catch on and ruin the fun…as the law tends to do….
Woah, is that a basketball in Blake Lively’s dress….or she’s got her period or maybe it’s coke bloat or it could even be that she’s a sloppy little whore and this dress was not really made for her. But I think it’s most likely pregnancy because that’s what happens when little whores have a little too much to drink and think they’re invincible and nothing bad can happen to them because everything else surprisingly worked out so famously, but the good news is that for the most part that all comes crashing down….
