I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

19

Jun

Britney Spears and Her Crazy Nipples of te Day

Here are some pictures of Britney’s nipples crying, but the good news is that they aren’t as sad as her vagina, thanks to the two pregnancies in over two years and her giving up on life which included but wasn’t limited to not washing or tending to her vagina needs.

Here are some pics….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipples

2009

19

Jun

Chris de Burgh’s Daughter is in Red of the Day

I have a borderline hatred for Chris de Burgh. He didn’t do anything specifically to piss me off, but in 1988, I spend a weeek at a resort with a girl I was seeing. She was pretty much my high school sweetheart, even though I dropped out of high school, you know first that only true love bullshit, because since her girls haven’t been virgins or loyal or really even all that fun to be around or into me.

Anyway, we were both 18 or 19 at the time, and they had this lobby bar piano player who only knew the song “Lady in Red” and played that shit on fuckin repeat. Everytime my girl would walk by he’d sing a little louder and by day 5 of this “Lady in Red” shit I was starting to get mad, so I decided to do a day trip down doing some activity by the beach and she asked to stay behind to tan and read her book or some shit, which I though was weird, but not as weird as when I got back to the room and motherfucker was slamming my chick from behind.

So since then, “Lady in Red” has brought up some serious anger issues, ones that will only be heeled by hate fucking Rosana Davison, Chris De Burgh’s daughter and former Miss Universe, in my kind of “gettin’ even” strategy.

Posted in:Chris de Burgh|Daughter|Rosana Davison

2009

19

Jun

David Caruso and His Brown Lover of the Day

Here’s David Caruso being a typical ginger with sensitive skin hanging out at the beach with his transparent skin in a T-shirt so that he doesn’t catch on fire, I have a deep rooted hatred for gingers, mainly because they scare the fuck out of me since they have super ginger strength from years of being left in the woods by their parents and fending for themselves because no one wants a ginger baby, but recently I’ve been obsessed with having sex with one, not David Caruso, but a female version, because I hear they get so excited someone is willing to get down with their red vaginas that they go crazy at the opportunity, and that’s good enough for me, I just have to find myself one.

I have no idea who the chick he is with is, but I am assuming she’s illegal.

Posted in:Bikini|Brown Chick|David Caruso

2009

19

Jun

Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson on the Beach Makin’ Out of the Day

Here’s some cunt from Lost with a stupid name that reminds me of bad poetry you’d expect some art fag who decided to chat you up in a bar one night, when all you wanted was to get fuckin’drunk alone, but instead have to listen to him cry about his life philosophy, like I give a fuck.

She is on the beach with her useless ass in useless shorts and a useless bikini top with useless tits, making out with the teen hearthrob Robert Pattinson, who hit big because of that piece of shit money making scam that is Twilight, which only makes sense, because she hit big because of that money making scam that is Lost.

Fuck all these motherfuckers and their bullshit. That’s all I gotta say about that.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Emile de Ravin|Robert Pattinson

2009

19

Jun

Some Dude Gets Arrested for Trying to Help of the Day

I feel bad for this dude, he is misunderstood, all he did was install a camera in a teenage girl’s bedroom to make sure she was ok. You know to make sure no one sneaks in at night and rapes her, and to make sure that she was still breathing while she slept, masturbated, or pretty much did anything girls do in their rooms. I feel the injustice isn’t that she was being watched, it’s that he wasn’t crowned a fuckin’ hero, not to mention the only reason he got busted is cuz the 16 year old he was spying on was spying on him, so someone needs to bring her down.

Side note for those wondering, this story isn’t about me, I am not into hidden cameras, I am more into surprise visits.

Posted in:Peeping Tom|Voyeur

2009

19

Jun

Leighton Meester Sex Tape of the Day

I don’t have the Leighton Meester sex tape, she’s some chick from Gossip Girl who is all the rage right now, making a sex tape release good fuckin’ time.

I don’t really give a fuck, because I’ve been doing this shit for far too long to really think a sex tape leak is just a played out waste of time, sure I’ll watch the shit, but they have proven to be boring as fuck and unless the celebrity is bouncing off my pathetic dick, I just can’t be bothered, pretty much the same way they can’t be bothered with me.

The reason a lot of these nude pics pop up is because the shit that is a girl who wants to be famous, is usually a fucking insecure, attention craving slut who doesn’t necessarily suck dick to the top, but definitely sucks dick because she likes the attention and does whatever it takes to be the hottest shit with whoever she’s around, whether that’s a porn producer promising her fame, or a boyfriend with a cellphone, or a promoter at a club, or some rich kid she wants to go home with because he promised to bring her to Mexico for Spring Break.

They just want to be on camera….they just want to be seen. It’s some crazy shit and it will lead to some good internet content when it drops.

Posted in:Leighton Meester|Sex Tape

2009

18

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I was walking down the street and passed some weird guy standing on the corner with a lap top in hand. He called me over to get in on the fun that he was having. I wasn’t going to go look at his screen because I feel like I’ve seen a variation of that movie and would rather not get raped and murdered in a back alley, even if it was more exciting than most of what I’ve been up to lately.

So I decided to entertain the weirdo, and look onto his screen, only to find out that he was watching a video of himself jerking off.

I figure this is some new age flasher shit, and part of me wants to give him props for innovation, part of me wants to give him advice on technique cuz I know masturbating and part of me wants to convince him to get some videos of girls masturbating, since that’s kinda my thing, but the biggest part of me felt really weird about the whole thing, and a little too close to the dude to really want to spend time gettin’ closer, I mean I knew him all of 10 seconds before seeing him jerk the fuck off, and I couldn’t help but wonder:

What’s going to happen a minute into this? Or 5 minutes in….

Then I realized that’s where the rape and murder come into play and I had to boot out of there before shit got weirder which is saying a lot consider dudes on his computer watching jerk off videos of himself…with me….

I left and deicided to call you over to see what’s going on on my computer screen, in the form of stepLINKS, I know not as perverted, but one day it just may be.

Follow My Fat Ass on Twitter
GO

Here are the rest of my links:

Really Easy Girls Who Have Very Proud Parents….
GO

While Madonna is Waiting for Her Fifth Child to Be Delivered From DHL…
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Have You Heard? I Was Under the Impression EVERYONE Had Heard!
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Meet The Hot Models Of The Pirelli Calendar
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Girls and Free Pool Parties
GO

Lesbian Sex Fantasy of the Day
GO

This Party Planning Dude is a Tad Fucking Creepy
GO

Reece Witherspoon Seems Like a Real Fucking Cunt
GO

Now Here’s Some College Mascots I Can Get Down With
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Island Cutie Talks Dancing
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Striptease of the Day
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Aubrey O’Day Got Robber But At Least Her Tits Are Still In Tact
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Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Hate That Kate Gosselin and Her
Army of Children Are Taking Up All the Gossip
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Ibiza is on High STD Alert Thanks to Katie Price
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Britney Spears Hard Nipples
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I’d Like to Bang Angelina Jolie On The Un Podium Personally
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Shanna Moakler, WTF Are You Wearing?
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Amy Winehouse is a Tattooed Lizard!
GO

This Fire David Letterman Thing is Getting Out of Hand
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Remember How Awesome It Was When Paris Hilton Was In Jail?
Let’s Laugh About It Together Again
GO

Boobs on the Catwalk Are Awesome
GO

Caught in Gang Crossfire
GO

The Things People Do to Get Famous
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Suzie Carina is a Little Slice of Something I Want
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Sheerleader Katrina
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Billy Joel Better Find Some New Pussy
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Not The Final Lap – VIDEO
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Let’s Jerk Off to Samantha Ryan Together
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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David Archuleta’s Dad Prefers Massages of the “Full Service” Nature
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Lucy Pinder Throwback – Her First Fully Nude Shoot
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These Strong Dykes Freak Me Out
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And My Dream Girl of the Day Is….
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Beyonce Bikini Throwback
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Bakc Flop Off a High Dive – VIDEO
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You Can Restore Your Virginity As Often As You Want!
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Fuck You Jamie Foxx
GO

Just Try and Tell Me These Dudes Aren’t Homos
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Cris Cyborg Will Choke You Out
GO

Sexy Bikini Chick Makes For A Good Thursday
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The Gays Are Mad At Bruno
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Rogue Collector’s Photobucket Finds are Back

An Asian and Her Vagina….
GO

Some Amateur Tits!!!
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A Girl Trying to Be Sexy in her Underwear
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweethearts are Back:
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

18

Jun

Olivia Munn Did Playboy of the Day

Who the fuck is Olivia Munn again? Oh right she’s that annoying pawn that G4 TV used to be the cool and crazy techy girl who is well versed in nerd interests and activity and news in order to trick the target market into thinking that hot chicks actually care about the same shit they care about.

Well I guess she did Playboy and this is the cover…I have a feeling she didn’t get naked….That would make her nerds hate her….

Here’s her stupid reveal party for her nerds….

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Playboy

2009

18

Jun

Rafael Van Der Vaart and Wife Sylvie in Ibiza in a Bikini of the Day

I am pretty disgusted by people. You know when you see a hot girl who only gets with a soccer player because he’s considered a celebrity in whatever immigrant country they are from and has a lot of money, so that if this poor motherfucker worked at his dad’s hat shop and was out of shape from eating all the meatballs his fat wife feeds him, or whatever the fuck immigrant business they are in, she wouldn’t even give him the time of day.

It’s like how the fuck do you know a persons intentions, who is really sincere, are we on this solo life mission where everyone is out for themselves, I’d say thank god I don’t have to worry about this kind of thing, cuz people who talk to me are authentic and I know who is real, but that’d be a fuckin lie, I hate the hurtbags who talk to me and annoy me with their poverty, I wish the biggest worry for me was if a whore was with me for my money or my personality, because I already know I have a shitty personality and I also know thatI’d only be with her for sex and her hot ass pussy. I don’t know what an ass pussy is, but feel it’s popular in the Gay part of town…

Here are the pics of these people I’ve never heard of.

Posted in:Rafael Van Der Vaart|Sylvie Van Der Vaart

2009

18

Jun

Serena Williams and Her Ironic T-Shirt of the Day

I am definitely not lookin’ at her titles, bitch, I’m lookin’ the other way, cuz she’s a fuckin’ monster, I mean after I fully take her in and get over the initial shock that a girl can be made like this, like she has a fuckin’ real vagina and everything, it’s on some Chastity Bono shit, but the other way around, because it was a good money makin’ scheme to get them into fuckin’ a woman’s sport and dominate, instead of living life as the biological man she is and just be a construction worker.

I met a girl last night who had high testosterone levels, she only gets her period twice a year and doesn’t look like a dude, isn’t hairy like a dude, but likes to fuck like a dude and all the fuckin’ time like a dude, and it’s the closest thing you get to being a gay couple that never leaves the rooms, except to take their AIDS cocktail, I mean other than bagging this William’s sister.

Speaking of stereotypes, I accidentally called a black chick Rudy Huxtible when I was drunk, cuz she was on that 80s vibe, and she wasn’t impressed.

Posted in:Ironic T-Shirt|Serena Williams|Sports