I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

15

Jun

Suzanne Somers is Still Alive of the Day

If you’re anything like me, you’ve jerked off to Suzanne Somers at various points in her career, whether it be her Playboy shoot in the 70s, her role on Three’s Company, her late night infomercials with her thighmaster bullshit, so I figured you’d appreciate getting off to her now, in her sunset years, you know as the curtain slowly closes on her, with her amazing hot leather skin, her menopausal mid-section and vagina with the inability to get pregnant, but who really wants that dried up snail, when she’s got those full lips that have been on a whole lot of dick in their years, not to mention the fact that she gets a senior discount on public transit, at the movies and even at the pharmacy by my house, makin’ her all the more amazing. Enjoy.

Posted in:Alive|Suzanne Somers

2009

15

Jun

Shauna Sand’s and her Purse Carrier Bikini Pictures of the Day

Shauna Sand has this hired boy toy who I guess she uses to make herself feel like she’s still got it going on. You know, like the hot Playboy bunny who I guess she once was. The kind of girl who could convince any man to stick their dick inside her, because I guess she doesn’t realize that any girl can get any guy to fuck them, they just have to play the situation right, since most guys are opportunists and if they aren’t fucking someone else that specific time, or if they aren’t these pussy whipped married types, they will go along with it, just because sex is better than masturbating, even if the girl is a monster, it is not in us to turn down vagina.

That said, whenever I see these pictures of Shauna Sand and this chiseled, tanned guy carrying her purse, I get freaked out, it looks so fuckin’ plastic and robotic, maybe even medicated and depressing. It would make sense that this guy is gay and trying to get a head, or maybe even an import from another country, and despite being and an immigrant, can stomach her tight body, because it’s all for a bigger cause, and she looks like a tranny he used to fuck back home in Brazil or some shit, but he just can’t stomach her pussy, cuz like an asshole, it is dry and needs lube, but unlike an ashhole it is loose and has a little too much slack to trick yourself into thinking you’re not in a cunt.

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

15

Jun

Amy Winehouse in her Bikini Turnin’ Me On of the Day

I was just doing my morning ritual of watching a 30 minute infomercial on leprosy, as I tend to do as often as I can, because there’s nothing more inspiring to get my day started with some rotting, mangled limbs. The weirdest thing about it is that they were playing the shit on the McDonald’s TVs I get my fix from, making my McMuffin scraps I convinced an old lady to buy me, by helping myself to her change purse and telling her I’d fuck her up if she complained, which I think turned her on, because old ladies tend to not get dick, but still have needs, so threatening them with fucking, is probably not the right approach, but none of that matters, what does matter is that Amy Winehouse in a bikini, was the perfect follow up to the leper commercial, because like a leper, parts of her are rotting, mangled and falling off. In her case it is her vagina and seeing her up in this other girl brings me thoughts of them bumping box together with flakes of skin, wetness and the smell of death filling the room, and that is fucking inspiring…

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|Hot

2009

13

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

My friend gave me Viagra yesterday. I wasn’t sure if he was coming onto me, but he seemed to think it would change my fucking life, especially if I managed to get a decent lookin whore to invite me back to her house, you know since I have a fat pig who made me impotent out of necessity at my house, so I’m going to give shit a try this weekend and will have a full report on Monday. I am just hoping I don’t pop it like I did with the E pill a few years ago, midday, leaving me in the middle of the fuckin’ street with a boner that just won’t go away, even though it’d make a funny viral video, but I think those dudes at Jackass already did that one…

I am still drunk from last night, it was eventful and inspiring and I hope to share the revelations I had with you one day soon.

I didn’t hang with the Olsen Twin or Hudgens, who are in Montreal. I guess they think they are too good for me. Cunts.

Here are my stepLINKS…

Spend Your Weekend Doing What I Will Be Doing
GO

Betty is Pretty Much Amazing
GO

Boston Hates A-Rod
GO

OLIVA MUNN’S HOTTEST PICS
GO

It Does a Body Good
GO

Ashley Greene Has Some Cleavage
GO

Breakfast Haiku
GO

Megan Fox Should Stop Fucking Her Thumb and Stick It in My Ass Instead
GO

How To: Make an 80’s Action Movie
GO

Doggystyle: A Love Story
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Stephan Baldwin is Probably Gonna Be Homeless Very Soon
GO

Cristino Ronaldo’s Herpe Fest with Paris Hilton is Over Already I Guess
GO

Ahh Let’s Try to Take a Peek At Britney’s Vadge Again
GO

Fergie Upskirt Throwback
GO

Some Megan Fox Photoshoot Outtakes
GO

I Love Eva Mendes
GO

I Wasn’t Aware Carrie Underwood Was a Lesbian. Lesbian Play softball, Right?
GO

Michael Douglas is Starting to Look Downright Scary
GO

What Percentage of Girls Are Bi-Sexual Anyways?
GO

Ashley Bulgaris is Sexy
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Loser Girl Goes Into Shock When She Gets Pierced – VIDEO
GO

Big Tits Get Showered
GO

Nevena, Madi and Candi Get It On
GO

Catrina and The Fucking Machines
GO

The African Baby Snatcher Is Officially Triumphant!
GO

Obama Writes Note To Kid’s Teacher
GO

She’s One Nasty Slut
GO

Miranda Kerr Bikini Pics
GO

Christina Aguilera Dress Cleavage
GO

Lesbian girls in Action
GO

Zuzana Has Some Big Ol’ Tits
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Yeah, I’d Probably fuck Annalynne McCord
GO

kellemarie and sunny leone lesbian lick-fest
GO

DON’T BUY THE LICORICE!!!
GO

The Girls of American Apparel
GO

Nikki Benz is in a Gold Bikini. Then Takes it Off
GO

amanda Paige Playboy Throwback
GO

Bouncer Tosses Girls Out on Their Ass
GO

Double Decker Taco
GO

The Sun is Setting on Heidi Montag’s 15 Minutes of Fame, Thank God
GO

I Nominate Violet
GO

Easy Office Girl
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

12

Jun

Mariah Carey’s Luggage Arrives in London of the Day

If you thought your bitch wife was high maintenance because she packed 5 pounds over the airline limit, or because it takes her an hour to get ready everytime you leave the fucking house, be happy she’s not a budding young starlet, or a weathered up diva, or even a bitch who thinks she’s fuckin’ Mariah Carey, because this level of work that goes into a trip to London pretty much disgusts me, seriously. It is just representative of everything that’s wrong in this superficial, materialistic, disgusting world, and maybe Mariah should be spending less money shipping her gear overseas and more money on liposuction cuz despite all the clothes, make-up, assistants and professionals, she’s still a fat pig.

To make things worse, she even has a hired black dude doing the dirty work, while a fat white guy watches, like some kind of racist plantation owner in the 1800s. Slave driving racist is what she is, half black or not, bitch forgot her fucking roots. Any self-respecting successful black person knows to hire a white man to be the fuckin’ slave, that’s the sweet smell of fucking success….

Posted in:Fat|High Maintenance|Mariah Carey

2009

12

Jun

Shauna Sand in her Bikini of the Day

How can you really hate on a girl who knows her place in the world. Sure she was probably molested as a child, or rejected by her father, or maybe she didn’t even have a fuckin’ father, what the fuck do I know about this cunts life, but it’s nice to see that she didn’t become a fat, man-hating lesbian because of it, but instead, an attention craving, jacked up, plastic surgery ridden, piece of trash, who is in better shape than your girlfriend, and who has the skin reminiscent of a pair of alligator boots, and that last time I checked, alligator boots are fucking luxurious, so that just proves this girl is quality. Assholes.


Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2009

12

Jun

Lohan’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star. I don’t care what all the haters say, because I got a feeling she’s going back to the top, as soon as she drops the latch on that is her DJ girlfriend who is bringing her the fuck down and distracting her from making magic. I mean Samantha Ronson seems harmless and all, but she’s not an idiot, if there’s no Lindsay Lohan running to her house everynight, the DJ gigs, the paparazzi, and pretty much everything she’s worked towards the last 3 years brainwashing Lindsay will go to fuckin’ shit.

I got an email from some asshole who didn’t understand why I give Lohan so much praise, or why I say she’s hot, and I think the reason is because she is.

I’m so smitten on this bitch that I even planned a big birthday celebration for her last year, where I was gonna jump out of a cake, but she didn’t show up, which is probably a good thing, because it got pretty weird pretty fast, since I couldn’t afford a real cake and jumping out of a twinkie is pretty impossible, and smearking it all over myself in my bedroom while crying just wasn’t a good look, you know, not my proudest moment.

Here are some pics of Lohan, to remind us all of a brighter tomorrow.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan

2009

12

Jun

Brittny Gastineau in Her Fat Chick Dress of the Day

Brittny Gastineau may be a tacky, cheesy, piece of shit nobody, who is nothing but a spoiled brat football player’s daughter, who latches onto whores like Kim Kardashian because they are soulmates and share both an passion for ice cream and thier XXL g-string bikins, along with an love for black cock, cuz black dudes love fat chicks, and a habit of shoving large inanimate objects inside their cunts, like whole watermelon, as a tactic to seduce said black dudes who love fat chicks.

She may have no substance, nothing to really offer, horrible style, even if she’s doing us a favor by covering her bloated midsection from an unhealthy BMI, and the thing keeping her relevant is her Twitter profile, but I like to think of her as a good friend of mine, mainly because she responds to my propositions to fist her, but also because she has a vagina, albeit a big vagina, fat tits, and a hefty trust fund, and despite all the hatred that eats me up inside on the daily, that’s really good enough for me. I’m easy.

Here she is with some hispanic lookin’ weathered and beat down bitch who looks like she may or may have had a career in gangbang porn, or maybe just a deep rooted love for all things cock, and she’s dressed like a sunset, not because she’s as beautiful as one, but because she’s the size of one…..

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|Fat|Lala Vasquez

2009

12

Jun

Dakota Fanning is Going Through a Pretty Serious Awkward Phase of the Day

Here is 15 year old Dakota Fanning lookin’ pretty strange.

This is the reason why you should not choose your mail order wife out of a catalog when she is 6 to reserve her to be yours 12 years down the line, on some layaway shit, because you’re a hurtback, because what looks like it has potential at a young age can turn the fuck around on you and end up growing up into some kind of monster. It’s like when you see those fat chicks from your past lookin’ all amazing now, making you regret making fun of her, because maybe you’d have a chance, because you have no spine and don’t stand by your bullying, where as I like to ask them for money for being a pivotal person in influencing their new more beautiful life, because without my teasing, they would have thought shit was ok and would have been stagnant, so in a lot of ways, I’m a fucking guardian angel to these cunts, and that’s why they should suck my fucking dick right there in the middle of the high school reunion while their husbands watch.

On the positive side of things, good thing she worked when she was marketable, I mean she’s probably set for life and if her parents didn’t jump on that shit, she’d probably be working the cash at her local Wal Mart or some shit. I guess it’s one of those take the opportunity when it knocks, otherwise it may never come around here no more.

Posted in:Awkward|Dakota Fanning

2009

12

Jun

Alicia Douvall and Her Nutty Tits of the Day

Some really fat chick who was wearing a push-up bra to counterbalance her gut, I know this shit because I watch the Oprah bikinis for everyboday episode as often as I can, just said hi to me when I was taking my dog outside to take a little pee, cuz I am tired of him pissing on my pillow while I am sleeping, I figure breathing that shit in isn’t good for me, and I got really spooked, not so much because of the way this monster, her cleavage looked, or even from the obvious fear and suffering both the shorts she squeezed into and the kid she was holding hands with had on their faces, but because people are so self absorbed these days and so paranoid, they just don’t say hi to strangers, unless they are yachting or on the Golf course so that you can be certain you are dealing with someone in your class bracket, but randomly on the street just doesn’t happen, unless of course you’re dealing with a fat chick lookin’ for a husband to take care of her and her baggage and I’m already playin’ that game and it sucks.

Sure, that has nothing to do with Ailicia Douvall, but bitch is like a stranger to me, cuz I’ve never heard of her, but now that I’ve seen her stupid tits, I’d like to say hi and for some reason I regret no hitting up a stripclub last night.

Here are the pics, today is about to start.

Posted in:Alicia Douvall|cleavage|Tits