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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day

Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day

Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day

Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day

RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2009

Jun

Some Jessica Biel Outside the Letterman Show of the Day

8 Comments »

I downloaded these pictures thinking her nipples were hard, or that she had a boner, or that something interesting was going on. You know a little tranny scandal to get the party started the only way I like parties started, but I was wrong, so instead I just had pictures of some bitch in a silky top showing off the body part she’s most proud of, like the faggot rich kids I was forced to sit next to a couple weeks ago who were so impressed with their gym work outs that they felt the need to check who had the biggest tricep over a bottle of Goose, in their Ed Hardy shirts, before I peaced the fuck out because it was fight of flight motherfuckers, and by fight I mean with myself for subjecting myself to that bullshit.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Shoulders

2009

Jun

Kristin Cavallari Legs of the Day

8 Comments »

I remember being at a restaurant and some girl looked at me, uncrossed her legs and pulled the Sharon Stone. Sure, maybe she was doing it to mock me. Maybe she didn’t even notice me and did it unitentional, because girls tend to not notice me, but it was pretty fuckingamazing.

It really only happened to me once in my life, even when I tried getting girls I was dating to pull their panties aside in public, I always got resistance, and it was never quite as hype as when it was an attractive enough stranger, so I’ve been looking it everytime I sit down and see a girl sitting at a nearby table with a skirt on. I believe one day, it will happen again, and that kind of hope is what keeps me going.

Here are some Kristin Cavallari pullin’ the tease, because she’s a good candidate, she just kinda failed at pulling through….

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Legs

2009

Jun

Rachel Hunter Was a Bikini Model of the Day

14 Comments »

I never understood the Rachel Hunter appeal when she was big in the 80s, I always just assumed it was a glitch in the modeling agency process, like she squeezed in because at the time plus sized models didn’t exist, but SI needed someone with tits and she was eager or some shit, you know a right time, right place situation, but then Rod Stewart swept her up, because one day when he was feeling hetero he picked up the issue of SI and said get me the biggest blonde in here to reaffirm to the public that I am all fuckin’ man, and chose her because she was the one who looked most like his first love he met in a gay bath house named “Roger” but pronounced “RawJay”, like he was french, but really nothing but a poof.

Either way, she’s still around, she looks like hell, and if you jerked off to her 20 years ago, here’s the aftermath.

Posted in:Bikini|Haggard|Model|Rachel Hunter

2009

Jun

Beefcake Mel B and Her Bitch of the Day

4 Comments »

Mel B’s boyfriend is either really comfortable with his sexuality, or gay. Not only is Mel B really manly lookin’ these days, despite her big ol’ tits, but dude’s also rockin’ a pink shirt. It’s like sure, Pink shirts are socially accepted right now, but not when your girlfriend’s got more testosterone than you, that’s when you step up you fuckin game, gain 50 pounds and dress like a fuckin’ biker or cowboy, not because dressing like a biker or cowboy is all that straight, but because being fat is. Gay dudes are like chicks and starve themselves for the ass fuck. Truth.

Posted in:Mel B|Muscles|Scary Spice

2009

Jun

Kelly Clarkson and Her One True Love of the Day

17 Comments »

All of Kelly Clarkson’s love songs are about food. I think these pictures make that pretty clear. So next time she comes up on the radio, remember that she is singing about a Big Mac, or even a Double Big Mac and not about a guy. Not because there is no guy sick enough to get with her, she’s famous and has a lot of money, a lot of guys would swallow their pride to get with her, unfortunately she’s too busy swallowing two all beef pattties, special sauce, lettuce cheese all fucking day to give their cock’s a chance.

Posted in:Kelly Clarkson|Pig

2009

Jun

Halle Berry Tits on Set for Some Commercial of the Day

11 Comments »

Halle Berry is filming a commercial and between takes on that commercial, she took some time to adjust her top and the paparazzi were there to snap off a shot. You can’t see shit, but you know that under that dress and under that bra are a great set of tits like you’ve never seen a fucking tit, even though you’ve seen her tit in movies over and over again.

The fact that I am posting this…makes me feel like a fucking loser…Like someone who gets excited about this kind of thing…which is a nice reminder…that I am a fucking loser….

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2009

Jun

Perez Hilton gets Paid to Put Vagina on his Site of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t understand how Perez Hilton can post a picture of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, make medical references to it, stating it has a wart/herpe on it, like he isn’t a faggot who has never seen a vagina and still gets advertisers, mainstream appeal, featured on TV shows and be considered a safe for work media outlet that makes millions a year.

I refuse to censor pictures of tits, and advertisers call me a fucking porn site. I tell the advertisers I try to get, like movie companies, record companies, video game companies, that if people come to my site to jerk off, they’ve got serious fuckin issues and are the same people who can get off on the bus to random girls showing a little too much leg or cleavage and the whole thing is fucking bullshit.

That said, here’s Lohan flashing some vagina lip, I figure the picture is too small to tell what the goods actually look like and I’d rather lay her out in a nicer setting and give her vagina the opportunity to perform, instead of this surprise attack, because this is an obscure pussy slip but I want to see a pussy performance, with fireworks and all….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Vagina Flash

2009

Jun

Beth Ditto and Her Big Hungry Titties of the Day

22 Comments »

It always amazes me when I meet dudes who like fat chicks. The other day I was out with a friend and he was going off about how hot this fat chick was, talking about her massive tits like they were a gift from fucking god, even though she was sitting with an actual hot chick. I didn’t understand what the fuck was wrong with him, because I didn’t even notice the fat chick, sure maybe my standards are unrealistic and I’d rather jerk off to hot chicks than fuck ugly chicks.

Sure, I am married to a fat chick, I live with a fat chick, I try to share a bed with a fat chick every night, because she takes up the majority of the fucking bed, and that just puts me in a better position to confirm that fat chicks are fuckin’ garbage.

Either way, he explained that he liked fat chicks, not because he’s trying to stay hip hop and in touch with his black friends, but because they look loyal, like a girl who would try to carry your grocery bags for you, even if it is fueled by the sheer excitement of getting at those bags and eating all the fucking food, and they love suckin’ dick.

So instead of hating on pig lookin’ bitches, I guess we should celebrate, because some of you motherfuckers like fat chicks, mainly because they are less work than hot chicks, but also because you have no self-esteem and hate your life, at least that’s the reason why I am married to a fat chick.

Here’s Beth Ditto showing off her fat tits in some see through lookin something that I am trying my best not to look at…

Posted in:Beth Ditto|Tits

2009

Jun

Eva Longoria on Vacation With Her Husband of the Day

6 Comments »

I am like my black friend who I used to go to the stripclub with who would look at the black strippers with anger and disgrace. He’d be so ashamed that they would lower themselves to dance on stage for the likes of me that as they’d walk onto stage he’d shake his head is disapproval and turn his back to them. If they came to lure him into a lap dance, he’d throw their arms off him and ask them why the fuck they had to lower themselves to this shit, to being a common fucking whore, and he’d fuckin’ lecture them, and they’d take it until they started crying and would run backstage, only to get us kicked out.

A Mexican American woman is supposed to be making fucking babies, working as a cleaning lady on the side to help her husband barely make fucking rent in the Mexican ghetto they live in. They are not supposed to be parading around yachts, in bikinis, like a common fucking whore for their basketball playing black husbands. She’s a rebeling against her calling and I guess that’s why her ass looks like she’s already had 8 kids.

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Vacation

2009

Jun

Tila Tequila’s Bikini Cry For Attention of the Day

2 Comments »

It is kind of funny how simple the world is for a female celebrity. All she has to do is get into a bikini and all the idiot dudes start clicking, giving them the attention they want.

It is a lot like the local party slut with her tits busting out of her low cut top, so that everyone in the bar looks her way, because the world isn’t that complicated, men like pussy and pussy that advertises itself is more interesting to look at than pussy in a fucking turtleneck sweater, girls who seem like they’d put out, seem like less work than girls who keep shit classy.

So even if you just plan on treating that pussy like the slut that it is and never plan on bringing it out in public with you or to meet your mother, or even if you just stand on the sidelines appreciating the show, because you aren’t down with HIV, you can appreciate that Daddy issues don’t seem to be such a bad thing, sure the pussy gets ravaged more than the non-Daddy issue pussy, but in their quest for attention, they end up money makin’ and a hell of a lot more opportunity lands on their numerous abortion lap.

That’s not to say girls in bikini are slutty, but it is to say that girls who pose in bikinis for any attention they can didn’t get enough attention from their dads and have just figured out the marketing mystery to have people notice them and their fake tits.

Posted in:Bikini|Tila Tequila