DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

Fuck – I forgot to do my links. My friend got the ALF season 1 DVDs and I’ve been pretty absorbed in the shit becuase it is amazing. I now know found something worth living for. We are 14 episodes in, 10 more to go, blame 420, even though I hate 420 talk and it’s not ever 420 anymore, so maybe you should just blame me liking being fucked up.

Follow Me On Twiiter Cuz It Is Fun
GO

Here are my links…hope I’m not too late sweethearts…

Spend Your Time Wisely
GO

Brooke Hogan Hides HEr Dick For a Minute
GO

Welcome to Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
GO

Is This Asian Scam-Artist Sexy Enough To Fuck?
GO

How About Some Hooter Cash Wash Girls?
GO

Twitter This, You Fucking Twat
GO

Border Patrol!!
GO

Sneezing in Slow Motion is Kind of Disgusting
GO

The TV Edit Of Snakes On A Plane Is Better Than The Original
GO

Some Leaked Footage From the New Halloween Movie
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Don’t Worry, Watching This Won’t Make You a Homo
You All Ready Are a Homo
GO

WTF Happened to Rupert Everett’s Face?!
GO

Lauren Pope Panty Upskirt
GO

Teri Hatcher Kind of Freaks Me the Fuck Out
GO

Jessica Alba Mom Jeans
GO

Alright I Admit It, Those Assholes at Macs Have Amused Me
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Alona is Awesome
GO

Death Wish Defined Here
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Adie Rides a Big Toy
GO

Bikini Belly Flop HaHa HA
GO

Bikini Aerobics Good Times
GO

Kate Hudson Bikini Shots Do Wonders
GO

All Aboard the UK Babe Boat
GO

Adrienne is One Hot Babe
GO

Fuck You Dita Von Tease
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

A Day at the Beach With Sandee Summers
GO

Lindsay Lohan So Wants the Peen Again
GO

It’s 2:30 AM. Do You Know Where Your Mother Is?
GO

Cheerleaders in Slow Motion
GO

Sexual Predator on the Bus, No Biggie
GO

Everybody Hates Miss California
GO

All Your Fave TV Shows Are Being Cancelled
GO

Dancers of the 2009 NBA Playoffs
GO

Twincest Anyone?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Apr

Reese Witherspoon Does Some Softball Training of the Day

2 Comments »

This one is for the dudes who don’t want to admit they like dudes. You know the kind of guy who spends their weekends watching baseball, telling concerned family and friends, that this obsession is because it is America’s national sport and represents everything American’s stand for (being lazy), when in reality they are watching the shit for the tight pants.

You know this way you can watch Reese Witherspoon pull all your favorites moves and jerk off to it like you want to jerk off the MLB, but can’t because it’ll mean you’re gay, but doing it to Reese Witherspoon just means you have no fucking taste.

I am also posting it because I like the way she looks like she’s catching her mom-tit while getting dirt kicked up in her face like she wasn’t practicing for a part in a movie like she was Rosie O’Donnell, but was practicing to be treated like the worthless whore she is. Amazing.

Posted in:Athlete|Reese Witherspoon|Softball

2009

Apr

Who the Fuck is Jessica Cirio and Why Do I Love Her Dance of the Day

5 Comments »

I don’t know why this video just landed in my inbox, it was posted on youtube a long time ago, but I clicked the shit and saw some girl on TV in Europe or South America or wherever the fuck they are dressed like a school girl, doing some hot dance and getting fuckin’ stripped the fuck down to her thong and topless on fucking TV. Her name is Jessica Cirio and she’s from Buenos Aires and she should be invited to America to do this little number on The View, I am sure Whoopi would get hard for this shit.

Posted in:Buenos Aires|Jessica Cirio|Schoolgirl Dance

2009

Apr

Elle Macpherson and Some Shorts on Vacation of the Day

4 Comments »

I uploaded a ton of Elle Macpherson pics last week, I have no idea why, but I do know that I didn’t post them. I guess I was giving a little love back to the girl who introduced the SI Swimsuit edition to my masturbation, not that I get down like that anymore, but it was the 80s and porn access was limited, espectially when you live with psycho Christians who would strip search you everytime you came home, because they thought you were up to no good, and molesters for the sake of Jesus, not that it matters, I don’t need to air out my dirty laundry with you, even though I have a lot of it, but that’s just because my wife is a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to be a fucking wife, but she does know how to eat a hot dog and not in the good kind of way, but in the obese all you can eat buffet kind of way.

HERE SHE IS RIDING A BIKE…..

BONUS – SOME PICTURES OF HER IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS THAT ISN”T SEE THROUGH AT ALL

Here’s that 1989 SI Shoot – I Fell in Love With…In Hindsight, She’s Got Shoulders Only a Gay Guy Could Love….But I was an immigrant, had lower standards, was hornier and 19.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|See Through|Shorts|Vacation

2009

Apr

Are any of these dudes you….of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Craigslist really does come in handy. I’ve used to it to look for concert tickets and new apartments whenever I plan on leaving my wife, but I guess I wasn’t tapping into it’s full potential, not that I’d want to get with a 14 year old boy, but I figured where’s there’s 14 year old male prostitutes hustlin, 18 year old female prostitutes aren’t too far behind…but the problem with 18 year old prostitutes is that you don’t get your name and picture on TV and the Internet makin’ you famous and everyone wants to be famous…watch this sick story.

Posted in:Craigslist|Pedophiles|Sex

2009

Apr

Jessica Biel Naked in Her Movie of the Day

6 Comments »

Jessica Biel gets topless for her new movie where she plays a stripper, that is usually a move an actor takes when they are peaking and by peaking I mean on drugs because their careers have nose-dived and they are trying to hold on for their lives. You know a desperate.

Sure, everyone hates on her for being manly and hard bodied, but call me easy, she’s topless and I’m sold, penis in those sheer full back panties or in Justin Timberlakes ass or not. I don’t care, I’m just pissed that she’s rockin’those panties, because nothing pisses me off than going to a stripclub and the bitch on stage doesn’t get fully naked until the last 20 seconds of her second show because she thinks she’s better than stripping even though it pays her and her deadbeat boyfriend’s bills. Cunt.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Movie|Naked

2009

Apr

Audrina in a See Through Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Audrina is useless, she can’t even get a see through shirt moment right. What the fuck is this whore good for other than being a vapid little cunt who is making more money than most people for doing absolutely nothing, proving that maybe she’s a fucking genius and I’m the fucking vapid cunt and who really cares, I know I don’t, I am just trying to rush through the day because I’m ready for it to be the weekend again, or in my case, everyday, making that whole statement pretty much mean absolutely nothing.

BONUS – Here is the Into the Blue 2 Premiere of the Day because one Into the Blue Just wasn’t enough garbage to put on film and spend millions of dollars on….Spoiler Alert- Here’s The Plot……

Plot: A pair of professional divers are hired to find Columbus’ hidden treasure

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bra|See Through

2009

Apr

Mallika Sherawat is Some Bollywood Star Over Dressed Making Milkshakes of the Day

1 Comment »

With the success of Slumdog Millionaire, I guess the Bollywood stars of India have decided to jump on the fucking bandwagon and make their way to LA, the Land of Opportunity, to bring their Bollywood know-how to America and get paid serious money for it. You know, let the little Slummy kids break the market for them, on a bigger scale than the weirdos and native Indians who were their American audience to date.

I guess the takeover quest hasn’t been too lucrative for her, breaking into the Hollywood scene was harder than expected, even for an already established star in India, because otherwise I’d doubt she’d hit up an Ice Cream shop dressed like this, screaming fr attention and holding bananas, unless the guy who runs this Ice Cream shop tricked her into letting him show her the way to break into the scene and I gues sit wasn’t horrible advice because I just posted it and my site make stars and by stars I mean will do absolutely nothing for her.

BONUS – Slumdog Millionaire Kid Gets Sold of the Day

One of the stars of Slumdog who is actually from the slums of Mumbai was up on the auctionning block when her adoption papers and the starting bid was around 400,000 dollars, because you know she did contribute to the movie winning an Oscar and you know that movie did make motherfuckers in the slums want to get the fuck out of the slums, I don’t really see the big deal, if you make the kid you should do what you want with them and people should just be happy he hasn’t thrown her into the sex trade.

Posted in:Bollywood|Malika Sherawat|Tits

2009

Apr

Shauna Sand Whores Out With Her Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

At least Shauna Sand doesn’t front that she’s not a whore. You gotta respect a bitch who dresses just as slutty in front of her kids and she does in the clubs, restaurants, grocery store, porn shoots, because it means she’s keeping it fucking real. There’s nothing more annoying than parking your car outside the stripclub at closing time because you can’t afford the cover charge to get in the place and the girls file out in their Juicy/Baby Phat sweat suits with fake Luis Vuiton bags filled with what I actually want to see them in and it’s safe to say that not once has a girl come out dressed like Shauna Sand. So maybe it’s time I start respecting her for giving me what I want when I am wasted and in the mood for trashy whores, even though it usually comes my way through pictures when I am sober.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Whore

2009

Apr

Lady Gaga is Still Fucking Weird of the Day

4 Comments »

I hate Lady Gaga. I hate her Nuclear Power Plant Meltdown face. I hate that she’s got a bigger dick than me and I hate that when I hear her sing, I feel like the sky is opening up and the gods are summoning me, until I listen to her lyrics and realize that she’s full of fucking shit. A tool used by the record label to target gays and this fake artist installation piece that is her life is getting fucking annoying. No matter what stunts she pulls she will remain totally uninteresting, uninspiring and a candy coated mockery of some culture I want nothing to do with. Let’s hope she gets Aids like the many faggots before her who paved the way for her.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Weird