2009
14
Apr
Here’s Kelly Ripa doing her best impression of her vagina after her third kid fell out of it.
Yeah, that’s all I got in me today, not sure why, but by the quality of that joke, I think it’s safe to say that I should be Regis’ replacement when he dies, because despite popular belief, he is not a robot and will die eventually and there gonna need someone to fill his little leprechaun shoes, and that someone won’t be me, even thought I was born for that shit.
Posted in:Kelly Ripa|Mouth
2009
14
Apr
Here are some pictures of beautiful Amy Winehouse living it up in the Islands and by living it up, I mean scaring the shit out of the local black kids, who don’t quite understand what the fuck she is, but know it’s probably something bad. I still think she’s amazing, but I do have a soft spot for crack addicted sluts who have money and big titties, even if those titties are slowly falling off their frail chests.
Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|kids|Running
2009
14
Apr
I don’t know how you guys drive your cars, but if you do it while sitting on a fat guy’s lap, you’re pretty fuckin’ gay, and that concludes short posts on dudes for the day.
Posted in:Driving|Johnny Depp|Tandem
2009
14
Apr
I guess I don’t really have to write too much about this one….I am just jealous Phil Spector’s not endorsing me….you know screaming my name while getting raped in prison….Obama gets all the psycho love. It is just not fair.
Posted in:Obama|Phil Spector
2009
14
Apr
If you’re life was a Hip Hop music video, you’d probably be a much happier person, as long as the Hip Hop music video was one of those ballin’ shits with expensive everything, hot bithces, booze, cash being thrown around, mansions and not this or this or this:
Here are the pictures of Florida/Flo Rida in Florida with some slut in a bikini.
2009
14
Apr
If you don’t know who Ana Obregon is, you’re a piece of fucking trash. Your life is void of any culture or class and you just live in your dirty, tunnel vision, cookie cutter, suburban whitebread life.
IF you took a second to step out of you’re sheltered Garth Brooks obsessed smalltown life, and maybe picked up a book every once in a while, or even enrolled in a night class, or cooking class, or any class to expand your fucking mind a little, you’d know that this haggard, weathered, Goddess is well known to American audiences because she was on an episode of Who’s the Boss. Yes. Who’s the fucking Boss, as Tony Danza’s relative from Italy. A career some people may laugh at, something I can related to.
I guess you could have just used Wikipedia for that, I know I did…..
Posted in:Ana Obregon|Bikini|Pool
2009
14
Apr
Princess Eugenie is in Thailand and there’s only one reason for that and that’s to fuck little boys who dress like little girls.
You know how the Royal Family is, they are all inbred and weird and have strange sexual fetishes.
If you don’t know who this is, she is not Perez Hilton’s sister, she is the Queen of England’s granddaughter, Prince Charles’ Neice, Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson’s daughter and she’s fat.
Seriously, she’s got no business wearing a bikini, even if she’s supportin’ your troops, or trying to justify her obesity in an American Flag…
Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Lesbian|Princess Eugenie
2009
14
Apr
Some paparazzi perved out proper the other day when they were snapping off pictures of Jessica Simpson. Sure, it wasn’t as perverted as the night I was at a hipster party and kept lifting up some girl’s skirt asking to see her hipster bush, even though her gay Asian boyfriend was there and wasn’t having it, or even as perverted as intentionally going to the mall to sit on the bench next to the stairs waiting to see unsuspecting upskirts with my camera in hand, but this shit is Jessica Simpson and not the 15 year old slutty girl buying Spring Break bikinis with their slutty 15 year old friends and I guess I can’t really figure out if that is a good thing or not, but I do know it’s a more legal thing and she is lookin’ a lot better than her fat pics that hit a few months ago, mainly because there aren’t any all you can eat Texas BBQ ribs shit stains on her panties…
Posted in:Ass|Jessica Simpson
2009
14
Apr
OP was a brand that was cool in the 80s. I remember all the dudes in my school who got blowjobs would rock the shit, but then, for some reason, it was brought back in the late 90s and turned into a Walmart brand that is about as core to their original cause as the cast of their commercials are to being actual celebrities. I mean I guess you wouldn’t expect A-Listers to get up on some ghetto discount shit and that they’d save it for the Brody Jenner, Annalynne “who?” Mccord and the fucking Madden Twins and their suburban mall tattoos. You know shit’s going to be a fuckin’ hit when Walmart Brand gets Walmart quality bands like Good Charlotte to sing the fuckin OP theme song. I wonder what ever happened to integrity. It’s like you can pay a motherfucker to do anything these days, especially when the motherfucker has no soul and loves attention.
Either way, here’s McCord talking about her bikini/bathing suit, unwarranted fame, etc, etc.
This hit the internet over a week ago, I am slow. Fuck you.
Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bathing Suit|O.P.
2009
14
Apr
Lindsay Lohan is making a comeback. I mean if you consider FunnyorDie a comeback. I used to hate on FunnyorDie, but in the end, I think getting celebrities to do viral videos is a fucking goldmine and they are a hell of a lot smarter than me.
This video is of Lohan’s fake E-Harmony profile video and she makes fun of herself, she looks good, and it may not do anything for her, but it should remind all of you that Lindsay is a superstar, she’s not going anywhere, and as much as you all think she’s done and in the fuckin’ gutter, she’s not. I have a feeling she knows exactly what’s going on despite being known to be a little emotional, shit’s got too many people involved to go awry.
So watch it and start showing Lindsay some love, because I know I want to…all over her tits.
Posted in:Funny or Die|Lindsay Lohan
