DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

17

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Sunglasses Sunburn of the Day

Kim Kardashian has a sunglasses tan because she fell asleep in Mexico, where she is, because I guess do nothing of substance everyday is only really fun when you take it international. I am posting this because her tits and because seeing brown people burnt is funny, let’s just hope next time around, the pictures of a burnt Kardashian are taken at the scene of her plane crash on the way home, not because I like wishing death on people, but because I have nothing nice to say about her.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Sunburn|Tits

2009

17

Apr

Lady Gaga and Tapes Up Her Tit Like It was Her Dick of the Day

5 Comments »

I posted these pictures of my least favorite clown yesterday, but it turns out there are a ton fuckin’ more and I figured since deflated fat chick tits are all you know, you’ll appreciate this shit. Unfortunately, I don’t. This shit just annoys me. It’s theatrical, attention craving, obnoxious and the one thing I can hope after seeing these is that bitch gets eaten up by the fame she doesn’t deserve because she’s ugly and dies of a fucking drug overdose as soon as fucking possible please.

Posted in:"Artist"|Lady Gaga|Nipple|See Through|Tape

2009

17

Apr

Bai Ling Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

2 Comments »

Who the fuck is Bai Ling and why is her life better than all of ours? Most Chinese imports I meet are into gaming and computers and talking in binary code when they aren’t working at their parent’s convenience stores, restaurants or dry cleaners. They don’t end up at red carpet events with their tits hanging out, I mean unless you count that one girl, but it wasn’t really a red carpet event, it was a rub a tug massage parlor….but there was music playing in the background…and I like to think every time I get jerked off for 20 dollars is a star studded event.

Posted in:Bai Ling|cleavage

2009

17

Apr

Ali Larter Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

2 Comments »

I got a lap dance with a girl who had small tits because she seduced me. I don’t really have the ability to say no when they start grabbing at me and squeezing my nipples, I guess because nipple play is always fucking immasculating and turns me into their bitch. Either way, it was a contact dance, meaning I could grab her ass and tits, but since she didn’t have tits, and within the first minute managed to stick her ass in my face, forcing me to smell her dirty asshole, gagging and realizing that the small of a dirty asshole makes me not want to grab onto her ass and slap it around like it was my kid/wife who didn’t fold the laundry properly, I don’t like creases on my shirt god damnit….

Posted in:Ali Larter|cleavage|Grey Gardens

2009

17

Apr

Paris Hilton Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

1 Comment »

This fame hungry rich kid’s plan still seems to be working. I don’t think anyone really gets that people are talking about a girl who peaked on the first season of Simple Life, because the concept was actually funny, and because Nicole Richie carried the show by being a cunt to the everyday people, but we’re still talking about her. I guess that’s just proof that my life is really fucking lame, but let’s face it, I didn’t need Paris Hilton, or her cleavage to learn me that, I kind of already knew, you know with a combination of failing at pretty much everything I’ve tried and having bad sex with bad women since ’85, posting on Paris is just another nail in the coffin, even though I died decades ago….You get what I am saying and here is her cleavage…

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Party

2009

17

Apr

Haylie Duff Still Has a Horse Head of the Day

4 Comments »

If you’ve been wondering about what Haylie Duff’s been up to and god fucking knows why you would be wondering anything like that, because she’s just Hilary Duff’s ugly latch-on older sister, who hasn’t done much and if she has even done anything, it’s all been handouts from her successful human lookin’ sister.

I guess the funny thing in all this is that Haylie doesn’t really know her place in the world, it’s like the older sister is supposed to be the one guiding the younger one, that is how nature wanted it to be, and there’s that cloud lurking over her head knowing that she isn’t as pretty, talented, smart as her little sister, and has to be reminded everyday that her parents got it right the second time around, and that she was just batting practice that should have ended up on the abortion clinic floor.

So I hear whenever these thoughts take over, she heads out to the stable to visit the only thing she can really relate to because her family let her down, but her horses are always there to remind her of where she came from.

Posted in:Barn|Farm|Haylie Duff|Shorts|Stable

2009

17

Apr

Lo From the Hills Hanging With Some Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t watch The Hills but it turns out that Heidi and Spencer and Audrina and Lauren Conrad aren’t the only useless cunts on the show, they have a useless cunt of a friend named Lo and here she is posing with a set of fat tits, something that would probably come in handy 10 years down the line when she is forced to do bootleg lesbian porn in hotel rooms to pay her fucking rent.

Posted in:Lo|The Hills|Tits

2009

17

Apr

Drew Barrymore Tries to be Glamorous for Grey Gardens

8 Comments »

I spent an entire night watching Grey Gardens, the original documentary is pretty amazing. You know seeing these crazy ladies in this run down house, living with raccoons and a million cats, totally droppin out of the society life they were raised in and the whole story fascinates me.

What doesn’t fascinate me is Drew Barrymore, sure based on her look, or lack there of, I don’t quite get why she has a career, but then I remember that her entire family is in the entertainment industry and that she was thrown onto the screen when she was 4, before she grew up to be an ugly, piggish, annoying actor.

Based on Drew Barrymore’s teeth, it looks like the Garden isn’t the only Grey thing at the event, what a fucking mess.

Go on Youtube and Search Grey Gardens, it is 11 parts but worth watching. Do it.

Posted in:Drew Barrymore|Glamour|Green Teeth|Pig

2009

17

Apr

Creepy Jessica Alba Video of the Day

5 Comments »

I am working on getting some posts up, I just got distracted with laziness, but I know you are here and need to be fed useless commentary on useless people who aren’t quite as useless as me. While I upload pictures, I figured I’d post this Alba on Leno video I came across that is creepy as hell. Her fans are relentless and went to the trouble of not only capturing the footage from their TV, but also sat there editing it into some slow motion weirdness that needs a soundtrack, you know some Lionel Richie shit, or any love song to really secure how creepy this motherfucker is.

Knowing that you are a creep, I figured I’d post it for you. I am nice like that.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Leno|Video

2009

17

Apr

Brody Jenner and His Playboy Slut in Video of the Day

4 Comments »

I just woke up again, I really should get an alarm clock, but I don’t think there’s really a point. I figure that I’ll make an already useless day, a little more useless with this video of Brody Jenner and the Playboy slut he’s fucking leaving a bar. I know. Sitting through this kind of thing has no positive affects on your self esteem/self worth/ pretty much anything, because watching a Brody Jenner video is always deeply pathetic. I just can’t find anything interesting to write about. Enjoy.

Posted in:Brody Jenner|Jayde Nicole|Video