DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

23

Mar

Some Fashion Show Tit of the Day

I don’t mind models, you know especially if they are the bikini or lingerie kind, it means they usually have decent bodies, or at least bodies you’d want to see half naked, not that I don’t mind seeing any body half naked, at least once, because I think it makes me a better person. Unfortunately, in my line of poverty and almost homelessness, meeting bikini and lingerie models is about as common as one of my friends winning the lottery, sure it probably happens, but I haven’t seen it.

Here is some model busting out of her top at some Fashion Show…

Posted in:Fashion Show|Tit

2009

23

Mar

Who the Fuck is Alex Curran of the Day

3 Comments »

Alex Curran is some WAG and that doesn’t mean she’s got a tail, it means she’s some UK Footballer’s wife. So when he’s out fucking groupies, she’s at home spending his money and the whole thing seems to work because he knows she’s just a whore with him because he’s a pro athlete, using him for his money, and she knows that if she wants to keep living the glamorous life of luxury, she’s gotta put up with his shit.

I keep seeing her name come up, so I assume that something’s going on in her personal life, I just haven’t managed to bother researching it, so if you have some time on your hand, you may want to look into that, or not, I mean who really gives a fuck…

Posted in:Alex Curran

2009

23

Mar

Scarlett Johansson’s Tits for Vogue of the Day

4 Comments »

Scarlett Johansson has big tits. Everyone already knows that. Here she is in Vogue, showing them off. I am not sure what else you expect me to say about that. I mean I could go on about my wife’s big tits, or sucking big tits, or being in a grocery store and having a kid point at me and say look at his big tits, but I would rather just post this shit and forget about that little fucker and his making me self conscious.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Tits|Vogue

2009

23

Mar

Megan Fox Showing Off Her Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

Here is Megan Fox busting out of her shirt because I guess that’s how you maintain your position as one of the most desirable girls in hollywood, you know by showing off her tits. Makes sense to me.

I guess the only thing that works against her is that I don’t think a sex symbol who has sex with one of LA’s most pathetic men, I mean I am sure LA is full of losers, but this guy is high up there on the list of losers, becuase his claim to fame was 90210, and despite that shit being popular 15 years ago, it was popular 15 fucking years ago.

Megan Fox needs to drop the security blanket that is her old boyfriend who she’s been dating since she was 12, when he was still relevant, and start exploring the cock that anxiously awaits her, especially considering Brian Austin Green will be waiting for her to come crawling back, because let’s face it, dude’s got little else goin on for him.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Tits

2009

23

Mar

Katy Perry Licks Ice Cream and She Liked it…A Little Too Much… of the Day

4 Comments »

Based on Katy Perry’s body type, I figure she likes licking ice cream more than she likes shoving her tongue down other girl’s throats, because she’s fat.

Despite popular belief, that’s got nothing to do with her being ugly, it just adds a little more reason to hate her and her success…

Posted in:Ice Cream|Katy Perry|Lick

2009

23

Mar

Brittany Gastineau and Her Disco Ball Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

If you’re in the mood for some useless, rich breasts that are dressed like a disco ball, becaue when you’re useless and rich, your entire life is a fuckin’ party, and you like advertising that to the fucking world, while busting out of her dress. Then here you go.

I went to a stripclub this past weekend, because I was in the mood to see some useless, poor, struggling breasts that were dressed like they belong on the shelf in a ghetto sex shop, it wasn’t much of a party, because the fucking whores kept filing through to the creepy rapist motherfucker drinking perrier, who hadn’t showerd in a while, but clearly masturbated a lot, I could tell by his haircut.

So being rejected to the goodlookin’ guy, or the rich guy, or the friendly outgoing guy makes sense to me, and doesn’t fuck my self esteem, but when the strippers choose the rapist over you, you know it may be time to get out of those sweatpants…..

Posted in:Brittany Gastineau|Discoball|Tits

2009

23

Mar

Spring Break Loves Lil Wayne of the Day

4 Comments »

So in case you didn’t know, a lot of people got herpes this past week, because it was spring break, and we all know what that shit’s all about. I didn’t go to any of these parties, I was a little under the weather and being that old guy at the party begging girls to let me do shots out of their trim little boxes is only going to be fun if I ever make myself famous, because that way they’ll actually let it happen, instead of reporting me to security.

Anyway, I saw this Lil Wayne clip and there’s a sea of fucking bikini clad pussy going insane for him, he can pretty much fuck every single one of these whores, and that’s gotta be a pretty good feeling, something I know you’ve never experienced.

That said, you should make yourself famous….

Posted in:Lil Wayne|Spring Break

2009

23

Mar

Tara Reid’s Lookin’ Hot of the Day

6 Comments »

Tara Reid seems to be bringing back the good. You know she was a time when the only thing wrong with her was that she was fucking Carson Daly, then that ended and she just spiraled into some permanent spring break party, lookin’ haggard, depressing and pathetic, unable to hold down a job, then turning to shitty plastic surgery that I assume she got while jacked on pills in Thailand, cuz it was all she could afford at the time, resulting in her being publicly humilated when her numb tit fell out of her dress, and her battered lipo stomach that looked like she lost a fight with farm equipment, and throughout that time, I always wanted to fuck her, even when drunk, during a herpes outbreak, with some random frat boy’s sperm dripping out of her mangled pussy. She is pretty fucking hot.

Posted in:Hot|Tara Reid

2009

23

Mar

Christina Milian in a Bikini in Hawaii of the Day

3 Comments »

So Christian Milian is out in Hawaii with her boyfriend, who is some rapper named The-Dream. I can just see how this is going to end, she’ll find out he cheats on her every chance he can get, and doesn’t appreciate just being the “number one shorty”, cuz she has an ego, and thinks she deserves to be a queen and that her rapper boyfriend should be exclusive to her, without realizing that when he tours pussy is thrown at him and a lot of the time it’s not even hotter pussy than hers, but just different pussy, and that keeps things fresh and allows him to put up with her whiney bullshit, because the second a woman tries to limit a man from fucking other girls, is the minute that man hates her.

So she’ll probably act up, he’ll probably Chris Brown her, and that’s just the hip hop world way….

Posted in:Bikini|Christina Milian

2009

23

Mar

Some Lisa Appleton Pig Getting a Wedgie of the Day

4 Comments »

This is some Big Brother in the UK, 40 year old, piece of trash named Lisa Appleton, and as you’d expect, she’s keeping it classy while getting a wedgie from some guy, who may or may not be her boyfriend, who was also on Big Brother with her.

I found this little blurb on her that I felt the need to share…

she believes in reincarnation, life after death, clairvoyants, ghosts, spirit guides, and universal dynamics. Lisa met Mario three years ago when she bought a crystal ball from him on ebay and met up with him to collect it. She says the most significant event in her life was when Mario pawned his Rolex to buy her a boob job.

So keep selling your garbage on ebay motherfuckers, it turns out you can find love on the shit and even take that love to reality TV stardom, if you play your cards right.

On a side note, UK reality star Jade Goody died and the lesson we can learn from her exploiting herself and selling her life to the media, is that if you are a girl, get screened for HPV and use condoms, because people out there are fucking pigs, they live in this life of excess, self destructiong, filth and transmit their dirty little secrets to unsuspecting young girls who think they are in love, or that this guy is different because they are too insecure, drunk, stupid, caught up in the moment, self destructive, and unable to really grasp the consequences of their actions to stay safe, and next thing you know, they’re dead at 27. It’s sad, unnecessary, so be fuckin’ smart with your pussies, unless of course it is with me, in which case we cross our fingers and hope for the best, cuz condoms are for pussies, but with everyone else, buckle the fuck up.

Posted in:Lisa Appleton|Wedgie