I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

15

Apr

Fergie is Almost Showing Off Some Ass of the Day

I was talking to some 20 year old girl the other day and obviously shit lead to talking about her vagina. I made some comment about wanting my old balls hanging off her chin and she got back at me with some shit about loving old balls and I got into some shit about not loving old pussy and she got into some shit about how she doesn’t have an old pussy and how it is young and tight and is hard to get more than one finger in without screaming….

So instead of jumping her then and there, I took it to the next level in sabotaging my chances of fucking her, by letting her know that there are some 2 year old cars that are seemingly still new and in good shape, but when you check out their milage, you can see they are well fuckin’ traveled and may not be something you’d trust on a long distance journey, or really even a trip to the store down the block, you know cuz the suspension is gone, the tires are bald and it burns oil. She got that I was calling her a slut in one of my more obscure ways of calling her a slut and it turns out girls don’t jump on dicks who imply they are sluts, since I guess they like the whole denial of what they have done to themselves….and they don’t care that fucking 40 dudes could be considered a lot to some people because they felt each and everyone of those cocks was worth the ride.

I guess that has nothing to do with a married Fergie almost flashing her ass, I mean other than her being a dirty ditch pig of a woman who has probably done some interesting things for Meth back when she was “addicted”, you know shit that makes flashing the world your ass seem pretty fucking tame.

I wonder if this story makes any fucking sense, I didn’t bother re-reading it, so just ignore the typos, I’m rushing and not Russian.

On a side note -I am digging the new Black Eyed Peas Song….

Posted in:Ass|Fergie

2009

15

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio is Kissing Some Dude of the Day

Hey look a girl you’ve jerked off to many fucking times is in love with another guy, unfortunately for you, this is something you’re getting used to. It all started when you were a 12 year old boy and the pretty girl in your class went off with someone else, even after you reached out and wrote her a love letter and before you spat in her face, called her a cunt and got suspended and issued a restraining order against her from the school, pretty much starting a common theme in your life, that you probably will never be able to live down.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Kissing

2009

15

Apr

Some Useless Gastineau Tit of the Day

Brittany Gastineau is almost as useless as the fat chick at the stripclub who had small tits and was too wasted to stand and kept trippin’ up all over herself. You know, as a fat chick, you have a certain level of responsibility, that involves you having to go above and beyond what the skinny chicks are up to, because you are fat and that applies to this Gastineau pig too, step it up a notch, flash us a little fat pussy or something, keep it fucking interesting, because your motivation and effort is really ALL you have going for you. Cuddles.

Posted in:Brittany Gastineau|Tit

2009

15

Apr

2009 USPDF Pole Dance Competition Highlights of the Day

Here’s a funny concept, legitimize stripper dancing by creating a nation federation of pole dancers in hope of turning shit into some kind of Olympic Sport, where half naked girls show off their stripper moves, instead of seeing bitches like Shaun Johnson flex her back muscles. I guess it’s not as funny as it is amazing. Sure no strippers I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve been to may stripclubs, have pulled off anything like this, but I guess it’s nice to know shit exists, now all they have to do to make this shit a little better is actually strip. Don’t forget your roots sluts.

Posted in:Pole Dancing|USPDF

2009

15

Apr

Tila Tequila Singin’ Some Guns and Roses in a Club of the Day

I was at the stripclub getting my nipples bit by some flat chested girl with a stinky asshole who managed to give me a few awkward boners like I was 15 again, while Tila Tequila was posting this video of her singing Guns and Roses at some nightclub in Dallas, claiming she was wasted, but just saying that to justify how bad she is, not that I care. I was surprised she knew the words, but then again, after spending the night in the stripclub I realize having fake tits means knowing bad rock. Yeah, I said Guns and Roses is bad rock. Fuck you.

Posted in:Guns and Roses|Tila Tequila

2009

14

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I went grocery shopping for the first time in months because I didn’t have a fridge. I was trying to seduce some dude’s wife who was in workout gear when I managed to make an asshole of myself by dropping a container of pre-made chili all over the fucking place. Everyone around me looked and saw the mess I made, but I figured I’d try to sneak off to another section of the grocery store, so that they wouldn’t bust me and make me pay. A minute later, I got hit up by the manager and he interrogated me about the fuckin’ chili. When I denied any involvement, dude pointed down to my pants and I was covered in the fuckin’ shit. Had I known, I probably would have snuck out of the place instead of into another aisle. I tried to reverse it, you know lie about it and say I slipped on their mess and wanted to sue for new pants, but instead, I had to spend the 6 dollars I went their with on something I couldn’t even eat because I suck at life. The good news is I made his staff scoop it into a bag for me because I can’t let dinner go to waste and it’ll be fun watching my wife scarf the shit down and wonder why there’s a used band aid in the motherfucker.

Now I am deciding whether or not I should go to the strippers to drop 20 dollars on a set of tits that want nothing to do with me but have to pretend that they do for a solid 2 songs.

Here are my links.

These Girls Get Nude and Let You Watch
GO

Phil Spector is Guilty
GO

Check Out th Sluts From the Miss USA Pagent
GO

The Shawshank Rap
GO

Close Up Pics Of Vivica Fox’s Tits
GO

The Unicorn Prophecy Sounds Like Something Decidedly Homo, and Guess What, You’re Right
GO

Man Tori Spelling is Just Looking Fucked Up
GO

Carina in the Shower
GO

Fuck Me I Wish I Had Been Born Not Fat So I Could Skate Board
GO

Nothing Motivates a Boxer Like Knife Wounds
GO

Yahho Answers Continues to Amaze
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Have You Ever Wondered Why the Pizza at Dominoes Tastes Like Greasy Ass?
Well, Here Is Your Answer
GO

Megan Fox Just Ain’t The Marrying Type
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Jen Aniston Does It Doggy Style
GO

Naomi Watts Pokies Throwbacks
GO

Evan Rachel Wood is Fucking Marilyn Manson Again
GO

Here’s the Blonde Who Broke Up Mel Gibson’s Marriage
GO

Charlize Theron Always Makes My Day Better
GO

Audrey Bitoni is Pretty In Pink
GO

Jamie Foxx and His Friends Hate Miley Cyrus and It’s Amazing
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Sexy Work Out
GO

Louisa Does that Thing She Does
GO

Drunken Ninja Turtle
GO

That’s It!! I Want a DIVORCE!
GO

Zoe Saldana is Giving me Dirty Thoughts
GO

Louise Porter Topless Throback
GO

3 Sluts, Toys and Tongues
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt in Maxim
GO

When Mary Carey Met a Homeless Man
GO

Louise Glover and Emily Dean
GO

Some Blake Lively Cosmo Outtakes
GO

Why Hello Adrianne Manning
GO

Bask in Beyonce
GO

Help!!! My Boobs Are Too Big
GO

Tribute to Marilyn Chambers Video of Her Explaining How She Sucks Dick….I am a Fan….
GO

We All Need Way to Pass the Days Somehow
GO

I need you’re fucking support on this motherfuckin one….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

14

Apr

Kelly Ripa’s Mouth is Ready to Receive of the Day

Here’s Kelly Ripa doing her best impression of her vagina after her third kid fell out of it.

Yeah, that’s all I got in me today, not sure why, but by the quality of that joke, I think it’s safe to say that I should be Regis’ replacement when he dies, because despite popular belief, he is not a robot and will die eventually and there gonna need someone to fill his little leprechaun shoes, and that someone won’t be me, even thought I was born for that shit.

Posted in:Kelly Ripa|Mouth

2009

14

Apr

Amy Winehouse Scaring The Kids of the Day

Here are some pictures of beautiful Amy Winehouse living it up in the Islands and by living it up, I mean scaring the shit out of the local black kids, who don’t quite understand what the fuck she is, but know it’s probably something bad. I still think she’s amazing, but I do have a soft spot for crack addicted sluts who have money and big titties, even if those titties are slowly falling off their frail chests.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|kids|Running

2009

14

Apr

Johnny Depp Drives Cars Kinda Gay of the Day

I don’t know how you guys drive your cars, but if you do it while sitting on a fat guy’s lap, you’re pretty fuckin’ gay, and that concludes short posts on dudes for the day.

Posted in:Driving|Johnny Depp|Tandem

2009

14

Apr

Obama Endorser of the Day

I guess I don’t really have to write too much about this one….I am just jealous Phil Spector’s not endorsing me….you know screaming my name while getting raped in prison….Obama gets all the psycho love. It is just not fair.

Posted in:Obama|Phil Spector