I have been trying to reach out to Lohan’s people to get her to start doing product placements for my site, you know since she is always being shot by the paparazzi and on the news, she should start selling ad space on herself. You know 1,000,000 dollars for a week on her forehead, 2,000,000 for her cleavage and 50 cents for her pussy, because that’s what it’s worth on the street. But she never answered me, she was too busy wearing this see through shirt a money making opportunity she fucked up.
Kate Moss is still getting work even though she’s old and a drug addict. Here she is doing a photoshoot as the face of Yves Saint Laurent. I like that despite being a cokehead she can still get hired, you know because I guess everyone’s a fucking cokehead in the fashion world so if routine drug tests were implemented, they’d have no one to work, which is unfair, because when I was applying for work as a flight attendent to escape this hell I am living, they asked me to leave the casting call, because I did a bump in front of a recruiter in the bathroom and they didn’t think me telling them that it gives me a little more edge, confidence and alertness to get the job well done was a good enough reason….in fact I think they even called the cops.
I guess like anything we have to wonder what example this will give girls, you know since any girl aware of who the face of Yves Saint Laurent is, usually is a brat with a ton of fucking money who started getting high at 14 cuz daddy was at work and her allowance was 1000 dollars a day….It doesn’t matter – just look at her nipple, live her nipple and love her nipple.
I wrote about going up to the woods and poppin’ bottles with models, you know by running through the forrest hunting racoons because I had no real poon and they looked soft, plentiful and easy to seduce, all you need is a little kitchen garbage and I always smell like kitchen garbage.
Anyway, I just got word from my friend who lives up there, that some famous chick was at the ski hill that I walked through Sunday afternoon lookin for quarters to get home and check out rich ski bunnies since I was hungover and it was a nice day.
So I googled the shit and it turns out that it was Natasha Richardson, who I didn’t really know, but who I have heard of and who is married to Liam Neeson.
Anyway, she fell, was airlifted and now the couple are a couple minutes away from me, her in critical condition with brain damage and Neeson seeing his life crash before his eyes. I should go for an exclusive, I know a doctor at that hospital, but I’m not a news source and you don’t really care about this, you insensitive pricks. Wear your helmets…
I remember when Katherine McPhee was coming up on American Idol. She had big tits, was decent to look at compare to Clay Aiken or whoever the fuck was on her season, I’d have to ask Ryan Seacrest but dude’s been ignoring my online sexual harrassment, so I’ll just go with Aiken and I didn’t mind thinking about doing dirty things to her.
I remember when Katherine McPhee had some eating disorder because she was a fat bitch with control issues or insecurity or whatever that magical formula that fucks girls up and causes them to stop eating and get skinny the way I like them.
I remember when she got married to some older dude because she had daddy issues and I figured I could relate, at least with the older dude, because I am all about bringing young busty girls under my wing to take advantage of.
Now despite my prediction that she’d fall off the fuckin’ map you know since she’s some reality star and shit, but apparently all my theories are wrong and she’s filming some movie in a bikini.
That was my relationship with Katherine McPhee recap. Stay tuned for more useless information that isn’t funny.
I’ve said too much today, whether here, or on Twitter, or to that old lady who tried to pet my dog and I asked if she’d let me grab her tit in exchange, or to that young girl at the coffee shop who looked at me in disgust after catching me grabbing my dick trying to stare down her shirt, but that didn’t really involve talking as much as it involved looking, the point is that now it’s time to give love to other hard workin’ websites out there, not to say I am hard working, and go about livin’ my life like I was Rihanna, you know answering Craigslist Casual Encounters, Tonight I’m letting some guy eat my shit right out of my asshole, all so I can bring better shit to you tomorrow, the things I do for you..
So Here are my links…
Mondays Don’t Have to Make You Want to Shoot Yourself in the Face GO
A Whole Lot of Half Naked Party Sluts and Their Tits GO
BONUS – SOME INSANE DANCE HALL SHIT…..
I love dancehall parties, it’s crazy sex simulation, with heads in buckets, half naked, covered in fucking mud, crazy fucking shit, you gotta watch this….Seriously….
Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….
I need 100,000 followers, my life depends on it, tell your friends. Save me.
Some riot happened outside the Top Model Auditions. I hear Tyra took off her weave and spanx cuz it was a long day and next thing you know 6 people are injured. I’m sure you’ve seen this video, I am a few days late on it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bring joy, like when your underage girlfriend’s period comes at you after being a few days late, it’s some Bristol Palin shit I know I’m not ready for.
Southwest is known for being one of the classiest airlines around, you know one built for fuckin’ stars traveling from Orlando to Reno to sell vaccuum cleaners or some shit. I don’t fly, so I don’t fuckin’ know the fuckin deal, I just like to hate on everything, especially other poor people on a budget who aren’t as poor as me.
This is a video of their Stewardess doing some kind of song and dance rap to get people’s attention and since I hate summer camp and all group activity, except swingers clubs, orgies and teenage girl sport team locker rooms, I find this fucking annoying and the last fuckin shit I’d want to hear while preparing for my life to end.
At least he’s having a good time at work, but if I was his boss and one of my people were making a fool of my company like that, his ass would be fired, no matter how many asshole passengers felt his sound.
I was surprised to see these pictures of Kristin Cavallari working, not because I really know who Kristin Cavallari is, but I am under the impression she came up from Laguna Beach, and refused to go on to do The Hills because she was an idiot and had an ego and false concept of her talent and ability based on the inflated success of Laguna Beach. Only to discover that work doesn’t come easy, when you’ve played an idiot on TV while playing yourself and that anything of quality would stay the fuck away from you because you are a liability, joke, and pretty much fucking suck.
But at least Cosmo invited her to hang out at some bikini party in Miami and you know she’s important cuz she got to wear a bikini in a different color than everyone else.
Guess what I was doing this weekend. Fucking nothing. So Kirstin Cavallari is still better than me even though she is useless, so I guess that says a lot about me…
The question is how many pictures of a dumpy lookin’ Brooke Hogan can you really stomach lookin’ at. You know seeing her fat legs and thick mid section half naked in some kind of disaster that would normally get a motherfucker laughed of stage, but it’s Florida baby and trashy fat chicks is what we fuckin’ do.
The answer is that there’s no such thing as too many….This shit is fucking funny and there may be some repeat shots because I didn’t bother editing them cuz I am lazy, but seriously what the fuck is going on here. I’ve seen bad strippers, but at least they get naked and can distract me from how bad they actually are….this is just in your fucking face comedy…
I kinda feel bad for her, anyone who would do this to themselves is obviously a fucking idiot and you can’t hate a girl for being an idiot, but you can hate her for not getting naked….
Ok…that’s enough of that…Here are some pictures of her dad, Hulk, getting pussy from all angles, including for his daughter, which is convenient since he made herand knows all the tricks since she’s been trained from a young age. It’s his right damnit. No one tells you how to treat things you own…
You know it takes a certian guy to marry Gisele. You know, the kind of guy who lost his viriginity to his college football team during some kind of initiation, the kind of guy who can’t shower without met to feel really clean, you know a jock who likes his cock surrounded and compared to other cock because it brings him and his bros closer together.
Here is the happy couple in Brazil…you know…introducing Brady to real live chicks with dicks…not just chicks who look like they have dicks who he married, something the boys back home will never believe exist…you know “it’s like what you guys do to me in the shower after we win or lose or finish practice – only its got tits and HIV”….
