I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

10

Mar

Some Older Bikini Pics of Miss Universe that I Slept On of the Day

I have no idea how I slept on these week old pictures of Miss Universe at Atlantis in the Bahamas rockin’ out in a bikini, but I did, so I’m trying to make up for lost time by putting them up today.

I have a problem of forgetting to check other sites or bother caring about much other than my own demise, that usually makes great things like this bitch in a bikini slip through my greasy fingers…and when I try to make up for it, it’s usually too late and either goes unnoticed, unappreciated, or just offends the person for trying after making it clear that I just don’t give a fuck..but since she’s has a solid body, shit’s timeless.

The interesting thing in all this is that she’s at the Atlantis Resort and the 2009 Miss Universe Pageant is set to take place that the Atlantis Resort and I have a feeling this shit’s some PR bullshit that Trump, who owns the Miss Universe Pageant’s got up his money grubbing sleave and I just fell for it and I guess I’m okay with that, but would be a lot better with it if I was given free rooms for the fucking free publicity I gave you, it’s fucking winter, I can’t afford heat and I’m cold man…

Posted in:Bikini|Miss Universe

2009

10

Mar

Britney Spears Bikini by the Pool of the Day

I saw some ragged immigrant at a pharmacy late last night. I had nothing to do with my time and figured I’d swing by and pretend to pick up a few obscure objects to make the people around me nervous. You put someDuct Tape, Vaseline, a pair of scissors and some Diapers and tell a random woman in the cosmetic section how you’d love to take her out for coffee. The reaction is always funny. I will film it one day and if anyone out there rips off the concept I will have no choice but to reference this post and sue you…

Either way, she was buying maxi pads, which was weird to begin with, because everyone knows that nobody uses max pads, we’re a tampon generation filled with Toxic Shock, but as she went through the packages comparing prices, while her crying baby was in a carriage by her side and her 3 year old was pulling shit off the shelves at 3 in the fucking morning, I thought to myself that this would be Britney’s life if she was working the night shift at the dinner where she belongs, but thanks to some miracle that isn’t being all that talented, or all that hot, but more to do with being marketable or marketed, bitch is rockin’ out in a bikini by the pool. It’s almost a rags to riches story, but I have a feeling she hadn’t got her period when she first started out. Admit it you liked that play on words…

Bonus – Here’s Some Pictures of Her Shopping in Some Daisy Dukes…..

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2009

10

Mar

Eva Herzigova is in a Bikini on Vacation of the Day

It is Eva Herzigova’s birthday today, she just turns 36, at least that’s what Wikipedia said when I checked it to find out who the fuck this bitch was. Sure, I’ve written about her before, but I just don’t have a memory for these kinds of things, I figure you see one famous chick in a bikini, you’ve seen them all, and that’s why I just refer to all the women in my life as Sally, because learning one name is a lot easier than learning multiple names, so here’s Sally in her bikini, I guess having a good by party/retirement party/ golden handshake for her sex appeal, because menopause is just around the fuckin’ corner and I can taste the dessert storm pussy from here….or maybe that’s just shit residue on my hand from not washing….

Posted in:Bikini|Eva Herzigova

2009

10

Mar

How About Some Crazy Jamaican Dancehall Whores Acting Insane…of the Day

This is a video of some crazed Jamaican Dancehall dancers doing some pretty erotic dance moves in their bathing suits with no music on. I’ve never been to Jamaica but I have seen some friend’s resort video that was pretty much a compilation of the staff of the resort simulating hard animalistic sex with tourists, I’m talking girls pinned up to the fucking wall getting dry humped harder than Chris Brown hits Rihanna and this video is a step up from that. My favorite part of it is the Bike Tire to Pussy Move…

Posted in:Dancehall|Jamaican|Sluts

2009

10

Mar

Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff Rock Dancing With the Stars of the Day

I want to fuck Karina Smirnoff, sure she hasn’t got the hottest face of all time, but bitch looks like she fucks like a machine. She’s a trained dancer and wears sheer dresses and moves like a goddess. I have only fucked a trained dancer once and I remember it being pretty legendary because I could just sit back while she popped and locked and whatever other dance moves she had in her catalog on my cock, her body tight and her stamina better than mine.

The point is that I watched Dancing With The Stars last night at a friend’s house and saw this autistic computer engineer who founded Apple, and felt a little awkward watching his awkwardness, until realizing that he was the guy who was fucking Kathy Griffin and the idea of them licking each other’s asshole scares the fuck out of me, but not as much as Tom Bergeron’s constant Apple jokes, dude coulda gone on all fucking night.

Watch the video, shit’s pretty funny shit….and when you’re done with that watch Holly Madison bringing back her old stage dance back when she was a stripper…

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Karina Smirnoff|Steve Wozniak

2009

10

Mar

Lady Gaga Forgets Her Pants on The View of the Day

Lady Gaga talks like a Drag Queen. There is no way that her raspy voice dick suckin’ voice does not have a penis. She is also into outrageous half naked outfits, ugly chinless faces, and this glam bullshit, and all that shit is way to gay….this is a stage show you’d find at the local drag bar and I’ve been to a few of them, I’ve always hung out with drag queens and she’s fully biting their style. I don’t believe she has a vagina because I don’t want to believe she has a vagina, but if she does, it is safe to say that all the showboating is just to distract us from the ugly she is.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|The View|Ugly

2009

10

Mar

Britney Spears and Pussy Hanging Out of the Day

I read that during concert Britney says “My Pussy is Hanging Out” between songs. I don’t know if this is the actual video of it going down, because the dude who uploaded the shit is peddling his own smut, but I do have some pictures that hit the net yesterday with various forms of zooming in, because I’m the kind of guy who zooms in on pictures hoping to see some mom of two vagina lip while she’s grabbing onto her ankles, but who really isn’t….

Here’s another video – so it must be real…

Posted in:Britney Spears|Vagina Slip

2009

10

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

I am sick. I think it started at the teenage house party I went to because they needed me to bring them booze so I delivered. You know how those young girls are, always getting sick from dragging shit home from school with them. I assume it happened somewhere between them asking me to leave after being there for 5 minutes and them actually turning on me and having 5 of their tough guy friends force me to leave, motherfuckers, nothing makes sick worse than listening to Jimmy Fallon slowly die on TV, one day I’ll bring you the gold, today’s not that day. Here are my links though, they should distract you from my uselessness.

On a side note, I posted a Sasha Grey Video on the site a couple of weeks ago and just got stats back and something like 1/4 of a million people saw the shit, so I asked her to put me on her guest list to her birthday in vegas, even though I don’t leave my couch, this is what she wrote back to me:

sashagrey @drunkstepfather sorry no and no….i would love to put everyone on the list, but it’s impossible!

Thanks. I guess she missed my genius concept about HPV outbreak porn called “Die Cervix Die”…or maybe the fact that I just promoted a fucking movie she’s in for fucking free.

Asshole.

Here are those links….

Treat Whores Like Whores Without Getting Arrested…
GO

Britney’s Pussy is Hangin Out, Yall, I got this pic emailed to me but forgot to post it…Stupid Me….
GO

Call ME Gay, But The World’s Longest Slide is Amazing and Possibly Fatal
GO

We’re All Going to Be Seeing a Lot More of this Slut Amber Heard
GO

Puerto Rico’s Hottest Model
GO

Alright, Alright, Here’s The Star Trek 3 Trailer, You Homo
GO

It’s Hard to be a (Facebook) Playa
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Virgin
GO

Casual Friday’s Make Office Work Better
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

The USA Pretty Much Hates Amy Winehouse
GO

Some Britain’s Got Talent See Through Nipple
GO

No One Cares You Dumped On Tv, You Cunt
GO

Drew Barrymoe is Looking Hot
GO

If His Recent Behavior is Anything to Show For It, The Michael Jackson 2009 Tour of Crazy is Going to Be Epic
GO

WTF is Wrong With Beyonce’s Body?
GO

Bitch in the Kitchen
GO

Caribbean Uncovered
GO

Because Those Cunt’s at the Bar Don’t Know What They Are Missing

Party Girl in Panties Falls Off a Table
GO

Creek Jump Fail
GO

Jenna Presley = Boners
GO

I’m no Gymnast, But This is the Worst Back Flip EVer
GO

Toilet Humor
GO

Shauna Sand is Mother of the Year
GO

Principal Choke Slams a Student
GO

World Record for Horizontal Pull Ups – Video
GO

Meet Jessica Gomes
GO

Michelle Bass Has Some Niiiiiice Cleavage
GO

A Hot Blonde is Always Good for the Libido
GO

More Boners Courtesy of Miss Universe
GO

Girl’s Got Talent, I’ll Give Her That Much
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio is Photoshooting
GO

I’m Not This Kind ot Step Father – I Pull Out
GO

I’m Sorry, But Jessica Biel is No Jessica Rabbit
GO

Octopussy’s Newest Ex Publicist Cites Crazy For Reason of Departure
GO

Forret Gump – 1 Minute, 1 Take
GO

Jimmy Kimmel and Sara Silverman’s Jew Alliance Has Ended Once Again
GO

Mad Max 4?
GO

The 25 Most Insanely Disturbing Sex Toys
GO

Stoya Gets it on With Another Lady
GO

Some Amazing Race Winner Jerkin Off Pics…
GO

A Pretty Solid Titty Ad….
GO

Amazing Ass X-Ray Gallery
GO

Don’t Make Out in Public Drive Safe Ad Insanity….
GO

Semen Facials are Popular in Columbian Clubs…
GO

Top 10 Celebrity Attempts at Singing….
GO

Drunk Amateurs Chicks Being Sluts Amazingness I should Be Using as stepLINKS Header Pics..
GO

Young Tits…
GO

The Biggest Cunt in Porn and I don’t Mean Sasha Grey…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

09

Mar

Jordan in Her Towel Bikini of the Day

So exhibitionist, successful slut, borderline prostitute, with the dumbest set of fake tits, and the ability to pretty much attach her name to any useless product, was out at the beach, but instead of being half naked and sucking on a set of testicles while getting her pussy licked, like you’d expect the whore to be, at least based on her shitty sex tape that hit years ago, she’s wearing a couple towels and covering up more than a Muslim chick or that pilgrim lookin’orthodox jew I saw outside with her 8 kids the other day and who I asked if she would come over to host my thanksgiving party where we pretend to rape and pilage natives, but she just ignored me, I guess her religion raped and pilaged her vagina enough to not have a sense of humor, but maybe it was just because she’s not allowed to communicate with non jews since we’re heathans, but more likely it’s just that it wasn’t funny and I should have gone with my horse and buggy joke instead.

Either way, I wish some bitches took Jordan’s lead and wrapped the fuck up when it came to bikini time, I’m talking to you fat chicks.

I guess Jodan not happy with how her body’s looking, and here she is doin some stretchin….before a work out to tighten shit up…

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Jogging|Jordan|Stretching|Towel

2009

09

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt Showin’ Off Her Mid Section of the Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt seems to think taking out the trash is the fucking set of Can’t Hardly Wait or whatever that 90s movie she was rockin’ her big tits and small body in.

She decided to wear her pajama pants like the slob that she’s become, but snuck in this belly top like she was a trashy local Britney Spears slut at some wet t-shirt contest in the late 90s, only she’s not hot and willing to suck anyone’s dick since she’s not young and having a good time, but instead, old, single and taking out the fucking trash because she doesn’t have a fucking man to do it for her….

I don’t know why I am bothering posting it, but that’s a common theme in my life so I am going to do it anyway.

Posted in:Belly Button|Jennifer Love Hewitt|Pajamas