I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

15

Jan

Some Wholesome Miley Cyrus Riding Her Bike of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is a video of the Cyrus family because I feel like death and figure I might as well make you suffer with me.

I like how she plays the wholesome thing riding the bike with her friends, like she doesn’t get drunk and ride her friends like they were a bike seat without a seat when no one is looking.

I like that when she sees her boyfriend they give each other the “pound” with their fists instead of grabbing him by the balls like she does when no one is looking.

I like how this 21 year old has to pretend he’s fucking 15 to make their creepy union seem less creepy. It’s like watching a pedophile workin’ the easy bake oven at the toy store, if you know what I mean. Sure older people take bike rides, but you can tell this dude would rather be out gambling drinking and doing anything but riding his bike like a teenage girl on her way to the mall, but I guess it’s a small price to pay for his career.

Either way, she’s at that awkward crossroads age where her hormones want dick but society and her publicist want her to stay 13 forever because it makes them all lots of money because apparently playing Hannah Montana when she’s 30 will be creepy as fuck.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Wholesome

2009

15

Jan

Some New Psycho Show Called 13: Fear is Real of the Day

No Comments »

I had a really messy fucking night last night. I drank far too fucking much, woke up at 2 in the afternoon and have been struggling writing this site.

I ended up going to the Lil Wayne concert, someone gave me free tickets, not any of the people I asked for free tickets like Wayne’s label, Wayne’s PR people, or the people throwing the event, but a good friend of mine who had a couple extra lying around. The guy was good, I expected the show to be more hardcore based on the riot police that were out on surveillance, but it turned out to be as gangster as a Super Sweet 16 party peppered with a few black dudes to give the party some flavor.

Maybe it’s because black dudes don’t like paying the ridiculous ticket price, maybe all the white kids beat them to it, but they should, because those who did left happy, because Wayne left every white girl horny as fuck and craving black cock so much that they hit on any black dude they can black dudes never turn down white pussy.

There was a time when hip hop shows were the scariest fucking thing. You’d walk into a dingy reggae hall, you’d be the only Mexican in the room, that was before realizing that you are probably the only Mexican in the city because Mexicans don’t like the cold. The music would be angry, the people at the show would be angry. There would be fights, stabbings, shootings, and the only pussy in the room would be random black girls who were ready to rip off your little spic dick. You’d get drunk after accepting that you probably weren’t going to come out alive and figured you’d make the best of your final moments.

Speaking of fear, here’s a the full episode of this insane show to prove that fear is real or something because I didn’t bother watching it. I guess that I am scared of everything except giving out free publicity to people who don’t pay me like CW network.

Posted in:Reality TV

2009

15

Jan

Elijah Wood’s Girlfriend of the Day

5 Comments »

If you’re wondering who Elijah Wood is fucking, and I know you are, this is her. I love the picture of her patting him on the back like a big brother would after losing the game. I wonder if this kind of thing happens when her pre-mature ejaculates during sex, or when he can’t get it up because his troll ass drank one too many drinks for his little liver to process, you know where she get’s up and pats him on the back, gives him a simulated punch to the jaw and re-assures him that there will always be a next time and that he tried his best and that’s all that matters buddy. If you know what I mean….

Posted in:Elijah Wood|Girlfriend

2009

15

Jan

Haylie Duff Taking Out the Trash of the Day

3 Comments »

I saw these pictures and the caption read something like “Haylie Duff Needs a Personal Assistant to Take Out Her Trash” or some shit implying that she was above taking out the fucking trash. The person who wrote is obviously a fucking idiot, who is confused and thinks this bitch is more important than she is because she may or may not have been on TV once. I always thought she was just her sister’s personal assistant, and even at that, taking out her sister’s trash is not part of how she gets paid, because I know if I was a personal assistants and asked to take the fucking trash out, I’d take a shit in my bosses bed. Not that I am above taking out the garbage, sure I am more into letting it pile in the corner of my one room hell I call home until it’s disgusting rotting food smell masks my wife’s stench but I am against being demeaned by taking out other people’s garbage and clean up their messes like I am some kind of piece of shit.

Posted in:Haylie Duff|Trash

2009

15

Jan

Lindsay Lohan is an Asshole of the Day

3 Comments »

So Lohan’s people contacted me today to tell me that Lindsay doesn’t want me going to Sam Ronson’s show in Montreal next week. I didn’t even know he had a fucking show next week. He also plays at all these clubs that I can’t get into so even if I had known, I would have had no fucking plan on going. But I guess in this self absorbed celebrity minds, everything is about them.

I guess it’s funny that Lohan is spending time reaching out to useless people like myself, for obvious self promotion, or maybe it’s all in efforts to keep a short leash on Ronson because she doesn’t work and has a lot of time on her hands. I pretty much told them that we’re not in high school and she can reach out and contact me herself if she has rules set up for me, so that I can laugh in her face and record it. I also said that until she’s making me 3,000,000 dollars a year, I’m pretty much independent and can do whatever the fuck I want and she has no fucking right trying to dictate what I do or where I go. I am pretty insulted that they’d even try to pull that shit on me because it is assuming that I give a shit, which I don’t. Sure, if this was 5 years ago when I was just starting out and Lohan was in her prime, I’d be giving myself high fives for breaking down the walls between nobody and celebrity and I’d feel like I was actually getting out there and not doing this for no reason, but the truth is that celebrities are nobodies too, so I don’t get phased by them but I do get angry when cunts try telling me what to do.

My prediction is they are both on drugs. I just don’t know what drugs they are on. I wasn’t going to write this post, but I am hungover, like seriously fucking hungover and feel like I am dying so I figured why not share the stupidity that is these lesbians.

That said. I still think Lohan is awesome and I want to play connect the dots with my cum and her freckles while Ronson jerks off in the corner….


Posted in:Asshole|Lindsay Lohan

2009

15

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I found a 4 dollar trip to Orlando and thought about going, then realized despite it being as cold as fuck here, it’s fucking Orlando and the only way I’d ever go to Orlando is if I got a personal invitation from Mickey Mouse himself, offering me a few hours with Minnie’s cunt as an incentive to go to fucking Orlando and since that’s not going to happen, either is my trip.

No offense to those of you who live in Orlando and love Orlando, I’m sure it’s nicer than I think it is, but the name makes me want to kill myself, maybe I have it out for anything that claims to be the Magical Kingdom, maybe I am scared of being around all those annoying fucking kids, maybe I am too old, sour and cynical to find pleasure in high school drop outs in plush mascot outfits greeting me with fake song and dance, maybe I have no fucking soul, but I like to think it has to do with hating a scamming company that makes their money by getting kids addicted to their smut, like a modern day drug dealer hanging out in the school yard to secure future fucking clients. Not to mention that Walt Disney dude molested my grandmother, she never pressed charges, but he pressed her underdeveloped breasts, at least according to her and that’s not saying much.
I am rambling, the trip worked out to be 400 dollars with tax so it wasn’t an option anyway, so I’ll stop now so here are my links….

I like Girls Who Do What They Are Told
GO

Amy Winehouse Doing Yoga is Fucking Amazing….I Can’t Help But Imagine My Penis Getting Lost in Her Filth…
GO

They Should Make Every Slut That Tries Out for American Idol Do It in a Bikini
GO

The 9 Hottest Texas Women
GO

Lady GaGA is Hot, If You Are Into Fat Chicks With Dicks in Leotards…
GO

A Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Cat Fight Would Be Fine By Me
GO

How Many Times Has This Happened to You?
GO

The Scariest Show on the Internet is Sexy Teenage Murder Lake
GO

You, Sir, Are Pathetic
GO

Fix Your Plasma Yourself – VIDEO
GO

More Porn Then You Can Shake Your Stick At
GO

If Movie Posters Were Honest
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

School Uniforms in the Netherlands Really Make Sense
GO

Katie Holmes Wants to Be Victoria Beckham It’s Ridiculous
GO

Pussy Lip Slip (Say That Three Times Fast) Throwback
GO

Ruan Seacrest Tries to High Five A Guy – Who is Fucking BLIND
GO

Lily Allen Tried to Kill Herself Awhile Back. To Bad She Didn’t Succeed
GO

Karima Adebibe Gallery
GO

Strip Game Shows Really Seem Like Must See TV
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck. What Else Are You Doing Tonight?
GO

Ass Grabbin, Ya’ll
GO

Lisen Wants to Welcome You In
GO

The Dildo Burglar
GO

Some Cell Phone Pussy Shots
GO

I’m Sure Some of You West Coast Fools Remember Angelyne
GO

The Terminator is Watching You
GO

Flip Book Fun
GO

Benji Madded is a Fuckibg Pussy
GO

Now That’s a Great Ass
GO

Bobby Trendy, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Because We All Need a Little Helping Hand Sometime
GO

Rebcecca Loose is Topless
GO

Carli Banks is in Camo
GO

We’re in a Recession, So Get a Free Mean From McDonald’s
GO

Paris Hilton Got Kicked Out of a PArty
GO

Pixel Porn
GO

Now THAT’S Gaping
GO

Paris Hilton’s New Song is a Big Piece of Shit, Why Am I Not Surprised
GO

The Ten Least Wanted Sequels of 2009
GO

Waste Time Here Lots of Videos
GO

Some Rock of Love Slut and Her Fake Tits….
GO

Look at this Fake Skunk Hair Blonde Whore and Fuck her Whore Pussy in Your Masturbation….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Girl in Some Pictures with Ass and Titties…
GO

Asian Bush Mastubationing
GO

More Asian Tits…
GO

BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Improv Everywhere Did a Ride the Subway in Your Underwear Stunt, More Interesting Than the Dance Routine that Made Them Famous or that Frozen In Time Shit That Made Them More Famous….Maybe Next Time, They’ll Pull Some Suck a Tit in an Ice Cream Store Stunt….See More Pics and It’s The Source of the stepLINKS Header Pic….
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/boner-alert-no-pants-day/

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

14

Jan

Nicolette Sheridan’s Ass in Boyshorts of the Day

1 Comment »

Nicolette Sheridan was out in her Malibu home, or what I assume is her Malibu home because despite the potential of being creepy enough for people to think I’d make a great stalker, I am far too lazy to bother with that shit, especially when living up in Canada and not really giving a fuck about much of anything, and she was doing it in a pair of white boy shorts. Now I know she’s older and I know it looks like she got some fucked up shit going on with her lips that probably involved surgery and I know that she’s probably got a pretty tight pussy. You know she hasn’t had kids, you know she does her kegels while keeping fit and you also know that Michael Bolton and her were engaged for 15 so I’ll assume they never had sex because with hair like he had, and songs like he sang, he’s gotta be a sister. You know, the kind of sister who prefers his significant other to be a top, but the truth is that I really know nothing and just wanted an excuse to post these pictures because I have nothing else to do and haven’t figured out my exit strategy yet. Enjoy.

Posted in:Ass|Boyshorts|Nicolette Sheridan

2009

14

Jan

Lady Gaga Forgot Her Pants Cuz She’s a Lil’ Baby….of the Day

12 Comments »

Lady Gaga was out without pants again. I guess it’s her new fashion statement or some shit because of all the hype she got from her stunt on Leno. Maybe she’s been doing this all along and I just didn’t notice because I don’t usually keep on top of Lady Gaga clothing choices since I find her ugly, or only started to bother recently because I have no fucking standards and her ass is pretty fat making it worth making fun of, or jerking off to, depending on your taste.

I met a girl with a crazy body at the bus station the other day. We didn’t actually meet, but her ass was ridiculous in a pair of spandex pants and white gogo boots. It was pretty clear that whatever it was that she did in life, it involved stripping and that she was probably in town to make some more money than she used to in her small town where she’s from. You know, a stripper with a hustle in her step and a crazy fucking body in her spandex. The problem was that like Lady Gaga her face looked like it was mutilated by an angry exboyfriend with a shovel, and despite that not mattering all too much in my enjoyment, I knew it would make all the difference in her attempt to climb the porn industry bed post. I knew that she was going to be the bottom feeder, underpaid and doing the dirtiest fucking scenes possible and I almost felt bad for her, until reminding myself that I should never feel bad for sluts, and should get in line to take advantage of them.

Either way, here’s Lady Gaga with no pants.

Posted in:Ass|Lady Gaga|Leotard|Panties|Pantsless

2009

14

Jan

Mickey Rourke Goes Prospecting for Cocaine of the Day

No Comments »

I always loved ripping lines with people who had a cold. It’d be a fucking mess that always ended with them blowing their noses and eating their fuckin snot because shit was jacked with coke and they wanted it in them. The desperation of seeing someone picking their nose and eating it because they can’t afford another 40 bag is funny to me, it’s almost as bad as eating your own shit because you have no money for food and you’re hungry and ate peanuts earlier that day and figure a second round will tide you over or some shit.

I always hated that no one gives a shit when I pick my nose, but when rocker/fighter/biker/wrestler Mickey Rourke does it, people like me are talking about it. It’s all pretty fucking pathetic if you ask me, which you didn’t. So I’ll just crawl into my corner and shut up.

Posted in:Cocaine|Mickey Rourke|Nose Picker

2009

14

Jan

Paris Hilton’s BFF is Fucking Trash…Obviously…of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not even going to bother researching this girl’s name because I have absolutely no fucking respect for her.

She won some contest to be Paris Hilton’s BFF, which is fucking ridiculous to begin with because Paris Hilton is an irrelevant, washed up rich girl with bad parents. I will argue that even if you’re aspiring to make it in the entertainment world and this is the only way you know how that is accessible, it’s not going to work for you because the whole concept of being anything that belongs to Paris Hilton is not only embarrassing, but degrading which means there’s no self respect, and despite no self respect usually leading to letting the right guy cum in her ass, if he promised to put her on TV when her contract with Paris Hilton is done, it’s still not going to get you work outside of porn and prostitution.

The fact that she has paparazzi pics of her is just another example that Hollywood is mocking us. They are producing shit and we are eating it up, because we all know that in reality, it takes years to develop a friendship you’d label BFF, not that you would because that would be fucking gay, so this is just another example of Paris Hilton playing some flakey bullshit that people seem to buy the fuck into, making her tons of money, and making me hate humanity, because that’s pretty much how she’s gone this far. It works for her….

I will argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that this dumb ugly barbie shit is just a character people expect from her so the post isn’t about hating on Paris or her song and herpes filled lap dance, but it is about the poor confused irrelevant girl who has no concept of anything because to do this to yourself, you’d have to be a fucking retard, and I feel even retards wouldn’t do this to themselves and would rather be sitting in the corner hitting rocks together for hours on end.

The worst thing is that I know she is basking in the glory of following Paris around like her little fuckin’ pet. You know she’s bragging to her friends and going to sleep at night thinking she’s made it so far, even though it took zero fucking skill or intelligence to pull off. She’s just a fucking tool that Paris using to make more money with and after she’s thrown this moron to the fuckin’ curb when Season 2 of this garbage starts, I guess her eyes will finally open up, because spending a year hanging with Paris is bad enough, but trying to live down the title of Paris Hilton’s bitch without the money and trips to Australia and VIP entrance to clubs, is going to be a hell of a lot fucking worse….

I predict drug use and suicide, or a career in porn that leads to drug use and suicide.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Trash|Underwear