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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day

Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day

Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day

Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day

RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2009

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I found a 4 dollar trip to Orlando and thought about going, then realized despite it being as cold as fuck here, it’s fucking Orlando and the only way I’d ever go to Orlando is if I got a personal invitation from Mickey Mouse himself, offering me a few hours with Minnie’s cunt as an incentive to go to fucking Orlando and since that’s not going to happen, either is my trip.

No offense to those of you who live in Orlando and love Orlando, I’m sure it’s nicer than I think it is, but the name makes me want to kill myself, maybe I have it out for anything that claims to be the Magical Kingdom, maybe I am scared of being around all those annoying fucking kids, maybe I am too old, sour and cynical to find pleasure in high school drop outs in plush mascot outfits greeting me with fake song and dance, maybe I have no fucking soul, but I like to think it has to do with hating a scamming company that makes their money by getting kids addicted to their smut, like a modern day drug dealer hanging out in the school yard to secure future fucking clients. Not to mention that Walt Disney dude molested my grandmother, she never pressed charges, but he pressed her underdeveloped breasts, at least according to her and that’s not saying much.
I am rambling, the trip worked out to be 400 dollars with tax so it wasn’t an option anyway, so I’ll stop now so here are my links….

I like Girls Who Do What They Are Told
GO

Amy Winehouse Doing Yoga is Fucking Amazing….I Can’t Help But Imagine My Penis Getting Lost in Her Filth…
GO

They Should Make Every Slut That Tries Out for American Idol Do It in a Bikini
GO

The 9 Hottest Texas Women
GO

Lady GaGA is Hot, If You Are Into Fat Chicks With Dicks in Leotards…
GO

A Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Cat Fight Would Be Fine By Me
GO

How Many Times Has This Happened to You?
GO

The Scariest Show on the Internet is Sexy Teenage Murder Lake
GO

You, Sir, Are Pathetic
GO

Fix Your Plasma Yourself – VIDEO
GO

More Porn Then You Can Shake Your Stick At
GO

If Movie Posters Were Honest
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

School Uniforms in the Netherlands Really Make Sense
GO

Katie Holmes Wants to Be Victoria Beckham It’s Ridiculous
GO

Pussy Lip Slip (Say That Three Times Fast) Throwback
GO

Ruan Seacrest Tries to High Five A Guy – Who is Fucking BLIND
GO

Lily Allen Tried to Kill Herself Awhile Back. To Bad She Didn’t Succeed
GO

Karima Adebibe Gallery
GO

Strip Game Shows Really Seem Like Must See TV
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck. What Else Are You Doing Tonight?
GO

Ass Grabbin, Ya’ll
GO

Lisen Wants to Welcome You In
GO

The Dildo Burglar
GO

Some Cell Phone Pussy Shots
GO

I’m Sure Some of You West Coast Fools Remember Angelyne
GO

The Terminator is Watching You
GO

Flip Book Fun
GO

Benji Madded is a Fuckibg Pussy
GO

Now That’s a Great Ass
GO

Bobby Trendy, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Because We All Need a Little Helping Hand Sometime
GO

Rebcecca Loose is Topless
GO

Carli Banks is in Camo
GO

We’re in a Recession, So Get a Free Mean From McDonald’s
GO

Paris Hilton Got Kicked Out of a PArty
GO

Pixel Porn
GO

Now THAT’S Gaping
GO

Paris Hilton’s New Song is a Big Piece of Shit, Why Am I Not Surprised
GO

The Ten Least Wanted Sequels of 2009
GO

Waste Time Here Lots of Videos
GO

Some Rock of Love Slut and Her Fake Tits….
GO

Look at this Fake Skunk Hair Blonde Whore and Fuck her Whore Pussy in Your Masturbation….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Girl in Some Pictures with Ass and Titties…
GO

Asian Bush Mastubationing
GO

More Asian Tits…
GO

BONUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Improv Everywhere Did a Ride the Subway in Your Underwear Stunt, More Interesting Than the Dance Routine that Made Them Famous or that Frozen In Time Shit That Made Them More Famous….Maybe Next Time, They’ll Pull Some Suck a Tit in an Ice Cream Store Stunt….See More Pics and It’s The Source of the stepLINKS Header Pic….
http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/boner-alert-no-pants-day/

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Jan

Nicolette Sheridan’s Ass in Boyshorts of the Day

1 Comment »

Nicolette Sheridan was out in her Malibu home, or what I assume is her Malibu home because despite the potential of being creepy enough for people to think I’d make a great stalker, I am far too lazy to bother with that shit, especially when living up in Canada and not really giving a fuck about much of anything, and she was doing it in a pair of white boy shorts. Now I know she’s older and I know it looks like she got some fucked up shit going on with her lips that probably involved surgery and I know that she’s probably got a pretty tight pussy. You know she hasn’t had kids, you know she does her kegels while keeping fit and you also know that Michael Bolton and her were engaged for 15 so I’ll assume they never had sex because with hair like he had, and songs like he sang, he’s gotta be a sister. You know, the kind of sister who prefers his significant other to be a top, but the truth is that I really know nothing and just wanted an excuse to post these pictures because I have nothing else to do and haven’t figured out my exit strategy yet. Enjoy.

Posted in:Ass|Boyshorts|Nicolette Sheridan

2009

Jan

Lady Gaga Forgot Her Pants Cuz She’s a Lil’ Baby….of the Day

12 Comments »

Lady Gaga was out without pants again. I guess it’s her new fashion statement or some shit because of all the hype she got from her stunt on Leno. Maybe she’s been doing this all along and I just didn’t notice because I don’t usually keep on top of Lady Gaga clothing choices since I find her ugly, or only started to bother recently because I have no fucking standards and her ass is pretty fat making it worth making fun of, or jerking off to, depending on your taste.

I met a girl with a crazy body at the bus station the other day. We didn’t actually meet, but her ass was ridiculous in a pair of spandex pants and white gogo boots. It was pretty clear that whatever it was that she did in life, it involved stripping and that she was probably in town to make some more money than she used to in her small town where she’s from. You know, a stripper with a hustle in her step and a crazy fucking body in her spandex. The problem was that like Lady Gaga her face looked like it was mutilated by an angry exboyfriend with a shovel, and despite that not mattering all too much in my enjoyment, I knew it would make all the difference in her attempt to climb the porn industry bed post. I knew that she was going to be the bottom feeder, underpaid and doing the dirtiest fucking scenes possible and I almost felt bad for her, until reminding myself that I should never feel bad for sluts, and should get in line to take advantage of them.

Either way, here’s Lady Gaga with no pants.

Posted in:Ass|Lady Gaga|Leotard|Panties|Pantsless

2009

Jan

Mickey Rourke Goes Prospecting for Cocaine of the Day

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I always loved ripping lines with people who had a cold. It’d be a fucking mess that always ended with them blowing their noses and eating their fuckin snot because shit was jacked with coke and they wanted it in them. The desperation of seeing someone picking their nose and eating it because they can’t afford another 40 bag is funny to me, it’s almost as bad as eating your own shit because you have no money for food and you’re hungry and ate peanuts earlier that day and figure a second round will tide you over or some shit.

I always hated that no one gives a shit when I pick my nose, but when rocker/fighter/biker/wrestler Mickey Rourke does it, people like me are talking about it. It’s all pretty fucking pathetic if you ask me, which you didn’t. So I’ll just crawl into my corner and shut up.

Posted in:Cocaine|Mickey Rourke|Nose Picker

2009

Jan

Paris Hilton’s BFF is Fucking Trash…Obviously…of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not even going to bother researching this girl’s name because I have absolutely no fucking respect for her.

She won some contest to be Paris Hilton’s BFF, which is fucking ridiculous to begin with because Paris Hilton is an irrelevant, washed up rich girl with bad parents. I will argue that even if you’re aspiring to make it in the entertainment world and this is the only way you know how that is accessible, it’s not going to work for you because the whole concept of being anything that belongs to Paris Hilton is not only embarrassing, but degrading which means there’s no self respect, and despite no self respect usually leading to letting the right guy cum in her ass, if he promised to put her on TV when her contract with Paris Hilton is done, it’s still not going to get you work outside of porn and prostitution.

The fact that she has paparazzi pics of her is just another example that Hollywood is mocking us. They are producing shit and we are eating it up, because we all know that in reality, it takes years to develop a friendship you’d label BFF, not that you would because that would be fucking gay, so this is just another example of Paris Hilton playing some flakey bullshit that people seem to buy the fuck into, making her tons of money, and making me hate humanity, because that’s pretty much how she’s gone this far. It works for her….

I will argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that this dumb ugly barbie shit is just a character people expect from her so the post isn’t about hating on Paris or her song and herpes filled lap dance, but it is about the poor confused irrelevant girl who has no concept of anything because to do this to yourself, you’d have to be a fucking retard, and I feel even retards wouldn’t do this to themselves and would rather be sitting in the corner hitting rocks together for hours on end.

The worst thing is that I know she is basking in the glory of following Paris around like her little fuckin’ pet. You know she’s bragging to her friends and going to sleep at night thinking she’s made it so far, even though it took zero fucking skill or intelligence to pull off. She’s just a fucking tool that Paris using to make more money with and after she’s thrown this moron to the fuckin’ curb when Season 2 of this garbage starts, I guess her eyes will finally open up, because spending a year hanging with Paris is bad enough, but trying to live down the title of Paris Hilton’s bitch without the money and trips to Australia and VIP entrance to clubs, is going to be a hell of a lot fucking worse….

I predict drug use and suicide, or a career in porn that leads to drug use and suicide.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Trash|Underwear

2009

Jan

Jenny McCarthy Whoring Herself of the Day

1 Comment »

Jenny McCarthy believes that beauty should be recession proof, so she took on a job supporting the cause like it was some sort of political protest and not a fucking very well paid gig for her to spokesperson this shit and hopefully get people who are losing their houses, losing their savings, starving to death to pull out the 5 dollars Suave products cost, because I guess when you’re forced into prostitution, it’s better to have soft skin for random strange men to cum on, unless of course you’re Jenny McCarthy, in which you can just prostitute yourself by attaching yourself to commercial campaigns, because you already whored out your fake tits and body to Playboy decades of go and it was the John that kept on giving, wasn’t it. You fucking cunt.

Oh, and Suave, you’re a fucking cunt too. You have no sympathy to the current state of America you just want people’s money…milk them for all they got by thinking they actually need your fucking product, when we all know that your shit doesn’t do shit, it’s just a scam. You make girls feel insecure and come in as the fucking solution to all their problems, well guess what, my wife uses Suave and she’s fucking ugly, and no matter how much of your fucking shit she slaps on her greasy fucking body, she’s still fucking ugly, so why don’t you make your fucking product actually work and accept the fact that some people are lost causes, instead of milking the lost causes who know they are lost causes with your snake oil, especially in these hard fucking times. Fuck you.

Posted in:Jenny McCarthy|Whore

2009

Jan

Brooke Hogan and Her Fake Tits Go Shopping With Her Entourage of the Day

5 Comments »

Keeping with her Tampa classy roots, you know from being the budget destination of Florida, Brooke Hogan brought her retarded fake tits, fake hair and broad shoulders out shopping. I hear after this they made their way to the local gas station to grab some twinkies and diet coke for lunch and then went on to chain smoke while reminiscing about the glory days working the gate a Busch Gardens while getting their bangs styled into a claw. Sure, I’ve never been to Tampa, but it reminds me of the local poor French trash and that’s pretty much what they do, only instead of talking about working at Busch Gardens, they talk about being on Welfare while playing Bingo, and instead of drinking Diet Coke they go for the no name brand’s hard stuff, but their daughters looks like Brooke Hogan, only a little more haggard and emaciated from chain smoking at the age of 10. They also take it up the ass on the first date and don’t mind if you put them on the internet….where as Brooke Hogan’s a little more conservative (read: boring) for that. She’s like a free hooker with a broken vagina.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|cleavage|Implant Tits

2009

Jan

Posh Spice Does Lingerie Ads for Armani of the Day

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Posh Spice signed a 3 year, 15 million dollar spokesperson deal to take a few pictures in Armani lingerie that will be in magazines, on billboards and wherever else they run lingerie shoots. The reason the price tag was so high was because she pretended she didn’t have the body or interest in doing it because she’s a mom of 3. Even though she knew that her eating disorder, plastic surgery and pressure to stay fit for her athlete husband did a good enough job fighting off the evidence the little fuckers left, I mean it’s not like these ads are going to show gaping mom pussy, and Armani bit. The whole thing makes no sense to me. I can’t imagine anyone buying underwear because Posh is in the ads, I can’t understand how this is going to pay for itself, I mean couldn’t they just hire a 4 or 5 girls off the street for a couple hundred dollars, and give the other 14,999,000 dollars to charity, I am sure there are hot enough attention whores who would do this shit for free. It is supposed to be the economic crisis and paying this kind of money for something so fucking useless disgusts me. It’s irresponsible excess and if anything should make you and anyone you know stay the fuck away from Armani Lingerie, provided you’re into paying outrageous designer prices for this kind of shit.

Posted in:Ads|Lingerie|Posh Spice|Victoria Beckham

2009

Jan

Annalynne McCord Does GQ of the Day

1 Comment »

Annalynne McCord is proof that being skinny will get you noticed, because people are distracted by her lean body to realize she’s got some kind of primate shit going on with her face. She has manipulated the system so proper that despite being on a totally useless fucking show I can’t imagine anyone watching, she’s managed to squeeze her way into GQ, like she squeezes herself through small spaces because she can. She’s obviously got a good publicist with a whole lot of contacts who see a bright shiny future for this bitch and they are putting some muscle behind her to get her to really stain the mainstream, like my wife stains my sheets with her secretions. I don’t have anything else to say, because like a reader wrote me in an email, I have soul cancer.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|GQ

2009

Jan

Simon Cowell is Still Making Bank Off American Idol of the Day

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The thing that surprises me most about this whole American Idol shit is that the public still isn’t bored of it. I get bored of everything in my life, from my wife, to fucking the same hooker, to taking shits and drinking, but for some reason the rest of the world is just sitting there waiting to die or some shit, because they find comfort in this groundhog day shit and sitting through the same garbage year after year until it all ends….

To switch things up, they let a girl in a bikini on the show, a girl who realizes that being a slut gets attention and proving that she’s right by letting her go onto Hhollywood, made a big deal out of it and here’s the video. They also introduced Paula Abdul’s replacement and Ryan Seacrest got some action from some girl. Something his boyfriend will be pretty disappointed in.

Here are some pics of Simon out on vacation because all this shit you’re watching is pre-recorded and has made him a lot of fucking money, which is the main reason he keeps coming back for more of the same shit. He’s hustlin’ pussy on his jet ski, which is pretty much like being in a motorcycle gang of the sea, only instead of being cool in your leather, drunk and beating up hookers in stripclubs, you wear topsiders and khakis and buy the gold diggin’ whore you’re trying to impress expensive martinis at the the country club. Assholes.

Posted in:American Idol|Bikini Audition|Seacrest|Simon Cowell|Slut