A site called Friendster is really where this site started. Sure, I had been fucking around on the internet for years before that, you know in chat rooms pretending I was a chick and then calling dudes gay after having some of the most obscure cybersex ever and there was the time that I spent a good month trying to get some girl to send me nudes over ICQ and immediately submitted them to an amateur porn site only to send the link back to the girl telling her she should be more careful who she sends nudes to, she was pretty devastated, and there were a whole lot of message boards and people on them who I raped and would try to get banned off of sometimes taking a month, other times a couple of hours or even minutes, and there were probably a whole lot of other drunken shit because the internet was always just a game to me, I never took it seriously, and I never got offended when people would try to flame me, because I knew it was just words on a screen and not real life. The whole Internet thing was introduced to me by some geeky tech savvy roommate I had in 1996. I almost feel bad for the amount of times I jerked off to slow loading porn pics on his computer….

Anyway, Friendster came along about 5 or 6 years ago, in a time when I was forced to work in a warehouse that had an empty desk with an active computer. I have no idea how I found the site, but I do know that I used it to find every random person I came across in my life. I’d find local sluts, new local pussy, random names from IMDB, I’m talking make-up artists and producers and shit like that. The only thing that really came from it was that I’d try to find local girls and I’d send them typical messages that I don’t have examples of, but they were perverted and twisted and creepy and I figured if they got the joke, they were good to keep, if they didn’t, fuck em. In doing this, I met a webcam model who used to send me masturbating videos and videos of her cleaning her house naked, it was before amateurs had places to submit videos and since she was local, I got my friend to fuck her, there were other adventures thanks to Friendster and one of them was starting this site.

Either way, I added this Zelda Williams bitch randomly back then because I read an article on her father and his fat wife and I had always thought he was a fag, so I hit the internet and figured out his daughter’s name. It was really her, she was one probably 17 or 18 at the time and looked like of those girls who takes herself too fucking seriously, the kind of girls who likes David Lynch movies, lesbian singer songwriter music and who has a journal and talks about how much she hates herself like she was in that movie Ghost World. Bitch was a private school girl from San Francisco, and I sent her random messages, trying to get her attention, trying to get a response, ideally to get her teenage pregnant to live off her trust fund and she ignored me and I will never forgive her for that.

A few months later, Friendster deleted my profile, because like Myspace and Facebook, I broke the rules by threatening or sexually harassing some uptight bitch who reported me and that was the end of Friendster for me. A few years later, no one even gives a fuck about Friendster except for people in Singapore and I like to think the beginning of the end for them was banning me.

I am posting this video of Zelda, because I saw it and was reminded of this story, she seems like a nice enough girl when trying to ride her father’s fame into relevancy like she was Rumer Willis, but not when dealing with strange, drunk, old Mexican men on shitty social networking sites. Opportunist Cunt.

Posted in:Paparazzi|Zelda Williams