I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

28

Nov

David Hasselhoff Gets Young Pussy of the Day

Either this is David Hasselhoff and his daughter, or David Hasselhoff is proving to the world that no matter how much of a joke you are, as long as you’re on TV, there will be a willing pussy to fuck you, because everyone wants to be famous, and sometimes the only way to do that is to associate yourself with someone who is, even moderately famous, like the guy who stars in the local mattress commercial who I always see out drinking bottles of vodka with a group of stripper lookin’ chicks, because they think he’s important cuz he’s on TV, even though, he’s only on TV because he’s a fucking joke.

Posted in:David Hasselhoff|Fame Fucker

2008

28

Nov

Britney Spears Lip Synching of the Day

Britney Spears perfomed at some party in Germany, not it wasn’t a Nazi Party, that shit ended a long time ago, but it was something less hateful towards fags, jews, retards, russians and whatever else the Nazi Party killed, because let’s face it, I’m not historian, but I do know that Britney’s career should be history.

Bitch lip synched her way through her computerized song Womanzier. She was in some lingerie shit, she didn’t look good, even though she looks better than she did in her lowest of low points in theory, but I have a thing for girls on the verge of killing themselves, they usually fuck as crazy as they look, not to say that she’s not still worth fucking, because all girls are worth fucking, even if Britney’s got a fleshy smoked meat sandwich of a pussy after all those kids….what’s that? It’s not actually a smoked meat sandwich pussy but a smoked meat sandwich sandwich that she keeps in her pants to keep warm so that she has something to snack on every time her blood sugar drops? I guess you can’t take the fat chick habits out of the fat chick just because she’s not so fat anymore….

Here are the pics. Today is going to be a struggle….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Performance|Womanzier

2008

28

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Sobriety is Funny of the Day

Lindsay Lohan was walking to her car after shopping and she tries to pawn the paparazzi onto Steven Tyler because I guess he’s buying panties at the same store Lohan was at, but instead the paparazzi ask her if Steven Tyler is giving her advice on not drinking, to which she responds “what the fuck are you talking about”. I thought it was funny, but I also haven’t slept in two days.

I’ve been on a bit of a bender that led me into a crack den of a bar last night, shit smelled like piss and was lined with small closed off “VIP” rooms with a couches in them, pretty much set up for people to do drugs in peace, and I snuck into one that was empty to have some alone time, because I was over-served and needed a little cat nap before drinking some more. So I shut the door from the psycho electronic music and the weird crowd the place attracted, but before I passed out, 8 arab dudes in suits filed into this booth I was in. They light up 3 joints, start speaking arab at each other, and I thought I was in some Taliban conference and I was going to be held hostage like I was in Mumbai. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that I was in there with them, they just kept running off with their crazy language, started laughing, started dancing around, hugging each other and celebrating something, I wasn’t really “in” on, so I just sat their awkwardly sandwiched in this small space with all these people and eventually the bouncer came and kicked them out.

I ended up getting fuckin’ stoned because they hot boxed the shit I was in, and it turns out that there was a reason I quit smoking weed 10 years ago, because shit makes me do crazy things, and next thing I knew, I’m on the dance floor, dancing, something I don’t do, with my shirt off trying to make out with this chick lookin for coke screaming that I loved life and I’m sure it didn’t end there, but thankfully my memory does.

So as I sit here recovering, we should watch a video proving that Lohan never recovered and is still the piece of shit crackwhore she always was.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lindsay Lohan Get Carried By A Gay of the Day, his name is Jeremy Scott, he’s some childish clubkid, hipster fashion designer… but these pics were emailed to me, I never saw them, so why not fucking post them. Right…

Posted in:Jeremy Scott|Lindsay Lohan

2008

28

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

Here’s a list of the top 6 things I am thankful for:

1 – AIDS – Because it filters out the weak
2 – The Economic Crisis – Because it brings people down to my level and it’s nice to feel like I can relate to people
3- Amateur Porn – Because without it I’d have no sex life
4 – Parades for saving my life by reminding me that I am not the most useless thing in the world….
5- The Hills- because it proves that you don’t need talent to make a lot of money, you just need to sell your identity to MTV which is better than selling your body to science testing meds, or having someone identity fraud your ass…
6-Puppies – Because they are cute….

Ok, that’s enough of that, thanksgiving is over and I could go on all night about shit I am thankful for, so instead, I’ll just post some links

Papa Joe is Gonna Lay the Smack Down on Someone
GO

Find Sluts Here
GO

Dita Von Teese is Naked in Some Immigrant Playboy
GO

Trash Can Suicide….Stunt….
GO

If You’re Not Thankful For Bikini Models Then I Don’t Know What You’re Thankful For
GO

Why Am I Not Surprised that Whoopi Goldberg Reads a Site Called HOLY TACO?
GO

Since I Know All You Guys Out There Are Always Looking to Get Laid, Yes Amy Winehouse is Finally Single
GO

10 Deadliest Girl Fights
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Boy George is a Walking Disease, Sf Course if You Have Any Brain in Your Head At All
You Didn’t Need Me to Tell You That
GO

Aubrey O’Days Nipples
GO

I’d Totally Fuck Meg Ryan
GO

Beer Bottle Explosion Prank
GO

GET YOUR OWN TURKEY!!
GO

Married with Children Throwback
GO

Kitty Wants to Pole Dance Too
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Brooke Bell Wants to Take it From the Back
GO

Electric Doorknob Will Keep Away Houseguests
GO

Anal Masterbation
GO

Jessica Vander Steen is Lovely
GO

Mischa Barton Doesn’t Look Completely Disgusting For Once
GO

Carson Daly is Going to Have a Meth Baby
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Now If That’s Not Getting Owned, I Don’t Know What Is
GO

Nothing Like Tits Flying Out on TV
GO

Heather and Lela Will Make Your Day Better
GO

Louise Griffiths Throwback
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

America’s Next Top Topless Models
GO

More Topless Bitches in NUTS
GO

Keri Hilson is HOT
GO

This Real Housewives of Atlanta Shit is Just Plain Fucked Up
GO

Kelly is Floating
GO

Wheel Chair Back Flip
GO

Bottle Break FAIL
GO

How To: Last Longer in Bed
GO

20 Pound Titties
GO

Some Slut Does a G-String Dance To Evavesence…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

27

Nov

Annalynne McCord is a Lesbian of the Day

I went out for dinner last night, don’t get ahead of yourself thinking I’m all luxurious and shit because I go to restaurants, because shit was about as classy as taking a shit in the middle of a fancy restaurant, which in case you didn’t know, is not very classy. The truth is that I had a coupon for 2 for 1 hot dogs at some ghetto diner, so the whole thing cost me around 4 fucking dollars, not that it matters, I’m working on Thanksgiving, I should be making the big bucks to afford 5 dollar or less meals….

Anyway, I get in line, place my order, fight with the guy working there about whether the coupon is valid or not and all that shit, eventually winning, not that getting 3 Hot Dogs, large fries and a drink for dinner is really winning anything, but I was excited to get down to business and eat the fucking thing in peace. After getting through the first hot dog, a dude who obviously knew the counter guy, because they gave each other some secret fucking handshake walks in. They start talking about some party they were at, where they plan on going this weekend and all that shit that people with friends do, and dude goes to order the fucking same hot dogs I’m in the middle of eating, and the counter guy says something like “Dude…do not order the fuckin’ hot dogs! They were a week expired and from some new supplier and we’ve had complaints about them all week, people are getting sick and shit because of them, so stay the fuck away”, they get a good laugh, I look down at my 3/4 eaten plate, pissed off the asshole chose to not tell me that pretty fucking valuable information, figure I’m in too deep and finish the shit off, go home and prepare my will because I’m convinced I’m going to die. I ended up throwing up, I’m not really down with ever eating hot dogs again and it turns out that either is Annalynne McCord….

I posted a video of Annalynne McCord Lesbianism , you know on a date with am ugly chick who she kisses on the mouth and nobody noticed it, now these pictures of her kissing someone who I assume is the same ugly girl hit so it’s safe to say, either bitch is a dyke, or she just likes kissing her female friends on the mouth and I guess no one really gives a shit, because everyone’s fuckin’ gay these days and it isn’t fuckin’ newsworthy, especially when it’s about some chick no one’s ever heard of and who no one gives a shit about….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Lesbian

2008

27

Nov

Jamie Foxx is a Singer of the Day

Will Smith Version 2, is about to release his first album and this is the boring video for the boring song. If you don’t know who Jamie Foxx is, he was some aspiring singer who ended up getting sidetracked into doing stand-up, got cast in movies and TV shows and eventually won an Oscar for playing Ray Charles in Ray.

Now the problem with a having already made it, you know having a lot of money and a name, a huge audience and a label willing to pump money into you, a budget to make a big bang and big music videos, instead of being some punk kid with a demo tape who sings R&B that people only care about when he is too slow to bring them out their McDonald’s combo meal…means that dude doesn’t need to start a buzz about his shit, so instead of making songs with videos of booties talking at the strip club, or rolling around on silk in lingerie because his luscious voice makes them cum, we get this boring wholesome shit, which may be a nice change of pace for Christians, Gays and feminists who are tired of all the hetero sex in the media for their own moral reasons, but I have a feeling no one else is tired of all the sex in the media, so this is just like a spit in our motherfucking faces.

Dude had a great opportunity to do something that people can jerk off to here, but instead he did this.

Posted in:Jamie Foxx|Singer

2008

27

Nov

The iGallop of the Day

Someone emailed me this product that came out a while ago called the iGallop. It is designed to bring the horseback riding experience into the bedroom, or living room, or wherever the fuck you want to pretend you’re riding a fucking horse, without actually having to buy a horse, house a horse, and take care of a horse. Shit looks like a classy version of a sex machine because when you take off the dildo attachment, pretend it’s a high society, like an equestrian simulator, the orgasms it gives you feel a lot less humiliating than rubbing up against the dryer at a laundromat.

To think you thought your only horse fetish was Heidi Montag, Haylie Duff, Sarah Jessica Parker and that time you played farm with that manure smelling chick you met at the bar and you put a saddle on, a Horse Tail Butt Plug who you let mount you like this was some beastiality shit after taken her on a ride….oh right that wasn’t a girl…but you get the idea…

Either way here are some iGallop videos I found….

You Look So Gay….

I Doubt She’s 18….But It’s Not Inappropriate Since She’s Just Riding a Virtual Horse…Right?

Short Skirt Asian….

Mall Voyeur

Cat on the iGallop

Fat Man on the iGallop

Innocent Shoppers on the iGallop

Girl Gets a Yeast Infection on the iGallop

Posted in:iGallop|Videos

2008

27

Nov

Top Turkey Videos for Thanksgiving of the Day

I am going to admit, I didn’t put much effort into this. There are probably way better Turkey videos out there and I apologize to anyone who spent hours slaving over their Turkey video, hoping one day it would be featured on a site nobody reads.

I just figured when you assholes are all dicking around with your family, or by yourself on your day off, doing whatever bullshit you do to entertain yourself, whether it’s watching football, telling your mom how much you miss her and are so happy to be back home to suck her tit and help in the kitchen, going through old photo albums, and wondering where the good old days have gone, dealing with repressed memories of you getting touched by one of your uncles during Thanksgiving dinner many years ago, or if you’re trying to come to terms with your unresolved issues with your parents, you know feeling like you don’t measure up to your siblings, like you’re their least favorite, like they’re ashamed of you…..you might as well do it to these videos…

Not to mention, I think it’s good to know where your Turkey’s been and what it’s gone through to end up on your table, while I sit here eating pasta noodles with soya sauce I found in the back of the closet, and it pretty much tastes like shit…

Here are the videos….

The 6 Dollar Ukrainian Turkey…..

Some Weird Angry Death Metal Turkey Killer…Named Psycho Jim….

Farm Boys Don’t Just Like Fuckin’ Their Sister, They Like Burning Turkeys To Death….

Psycho Jim Does it Again Only With Restraints…

The Butcher…..Music Provided By DJ AM….

Good Ol’ Country Folk, Claude Ouellette & Albert Rozas The Turkey Killers With a Sense of Humor Edition….

A Couple French Men, An Axe and an Obscure Film Artist Lookin Motherfucker

Some Wierd Interpretive Student Film Turkey Slaughter

Posted in:Thanksgiving

2008

26

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

I know you are probably on the road, in a car, on a train, taking the bus, flying to visit your family on this glorious holiday, or you are sitting alone at home because your family didn’t invite you since they decided to go to the beach to avoid you and the disappointment you always bring with you. Maybe you’re the one who decided not to see your family because they always judge you and embarrass you knowing you came from them, but it is still Thanksgiving and you should be getting into your turkey costume for the traditional turkey stuffing to clear out your insides for the Turkey Feast tomorrow, but maybe that’s just how they do things in my home, I guess any excuse to stick dick in ass, is a good one…..

The point of all this is to say, be safe, eat well, don’t get too drunk and fuck your family members, don’t get too made and go on a murderous rampage because you feel alone in life, because you’ve always got me….not that that’s a good thing and I will only communicate with you via email, but it’s better than offing yourself.

I admit, I am partially jealous of you, since I like eating, it’s kind of a hobby of mine, but I don’t have to work on the site tomorrow, but probably will, because not everything is about USA, there are other people in the fucking world you know….and some of us had Thanksgiving months ago.

Now unbutton your pants, start your drinking and send me some pictures of the craziness that happened.

Remember no party is a success unless at least one of the people involved has to take the morning afterpill…

I am not sure if that applies to family functions….

But it does to me.

Ok, enough of this haiku bullshit, here are my links for now….

Thanksgiving Turkey Porn
GO

The Penis That Ruined Tara Reid, Ruins Another Girl….
GO

I Don’t Know Who Kitty Lea is But She Makes Me Want to Fuck the Shit Out of an Elf
GO

Why Hello There Shovel..I’m Nuts
GO

Britney Should Stay on Whatever Starvation Diet She is Doing Because It’s Working
GO

Sharon Stone Geriatric Upskirt
GO

Electric Door Knob Prank…
GO

Diddy Thinks He’s Obama Cuz Money Makes a Motherfucker Crazy
GO

The Hottest Native Americans in History
Happy Thanksgiving, You Fucks
GO

Maria Sharapova Is Good For More Than Just Tennis
GO

Throwback Hair Dryer Prank
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck Because, Well, DO You Really Need a Reason?
GO

Danica McKellar is Just Too Much
GO

More of the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show
GO

More Drama With Paris
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Play Darts When You’re Drunk
GO

Rope Swing Fail
GO

A Couple of Ad Agency Employees Banging in the Office at 5 pm, Because They are Hypocrites and Think What I do is Porn…Well Maybe They Should Be Watching More Porn, Because Their Cubicle Sex fucking Sucks…
GO

Some Archie Bunker Homophobia That Would NEVER Air on TV Today Because We’ve Got Soft….Motherfuckers…
GO

Top 10 Dysfunctional Families
GO

Some Cheesy Sluts Posing WIth Motorbikes Gallery
GO

Chelsea Handler Posed Naked for Playboy
GO

OK Magazine Has a Funny Typo…
GO

13 Things to Look Out For in Steven Segal’s Reality Show
GO

Old Video of Some Reporter Turns Hood
GO

Sign-UP to this Porn Site and Make Me Rich…
GO

13 Female Celebrities Crawling Around on All Fours…
GO

Tiffany Mulheron Gallery
GO

THE ARRESSTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE IS HAPPENING
GO

Georgia Jones Loves the Great Outdoors
GO

The War on Drugs
GO

Sophia is Sultry
GO

Economic Crisis is Killing These Celebs….
GO

Miranda Kerr Looks Good on the Cover of Page Six
GO

Angelina May Be Knocked Up Again
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Naughty Dog Versus Shaking Ass
GO

Chick Gets Nipple Pierced
GO

A World Without Crazy Ladies on Crack is Not a World I Care to Live In
GO

Build a Raft Naked! Why Not?
GO

You This to Get Sex Because You are a Loser That Never Gets Laid And Its Starting to Be Pathetic
GO

Sorry, But I Love Snoop Dogg
GO

The Stomping of the Grapes, But without I Love Lucy
And in Cartoon Form
GO

Infinity + Infinity + Infinity
GO

A Whore Named Aubrey O’Day is GOing to Be Doing Playboy…..
GO

Even Madonna’s Own Daughter Hates Her
GO

Train Your Cat to Poop in the Toilet
GO

How To: Lose a Stripping Contest
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS…

Hot Young Ass Posin in Underwear…
GO

I don’t know if this is legal photobucket….you guys should go to jail….
GO

Vegas’ Version of a Scene Chick in Her Underwear
GO

Thanksgiving is Depressing, you know seeing how annoying your family is, or how happy your brother is, so steal his credit card and make yourself fuckin’ happy for once in your shitty fucking life….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

26

Nov

Kristen Stewart Smokin’ the Pipe of the Day




Here are some pictures of Kristen Stewart, some chick I’ve never heard of because she is ugly, but who is part of this whole Twilight phenomenon and people are confusing as being something pretty, when the only thing pretty about her is how ugly she is. These are some pictures of her smoking some pipe you’d buy at a head shop to smoke whatever drugs you want with. I guess she’s taking a lead from her big Celebrity Rehab brother Sean Stewart, not that they are related, but with a face like that they could be. Something seriously went wrong with Rod Stewart’s sperm….I blame Karma getting back at him for him getting through a loophole and landing a fucking career, tons of money and many ex-model wives….or maybe it’s just too much partying on the road fuckin’ things up a little.

Speaking of drugs, I assume the only drug she’d be smoking in public is one that is legal, because she doesn’t want to lose future work and drag her name in the mud like she’s some kind of Lohan, since she’s new to the scene, but still wants to get fucked up enough to look in the mirror and believe all the hype she’s getting, so I’m guessing she’s getting down with Salvia.

Here are Some Pictures of her showing off her tight little body….that doesn’t match her broken down face…

Wow…bad post…

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|Smoking