So here’s graceful bird-faced Amy Winehouse doing some shots to celebrate her 8 hours of sobriety, I mean if you can’t smoking rock 4 times instead of 5, being sober, but I guess it’s these kinds of baby steps that will eventually bring her back into the limelight singing her songs for her fans, unless she dies first, which she will. I mean I’ve seen crackheads and when they get to this level, it pretty much ends in a pool of blood on the street corner or in some dingy hotel room, but the difference between the crackheads I know and Winehouse, is that she’s got enough money to not do the things that usually end up killing the girls I know, like prostitution….

The truth is that Jewish people don’t die. They are like cockroaches who roam the earth lookin for ways to make money and fuck people over. I’m just kidding, so you can take your anti-semetic comments back, it’s just a joke, it’s not my fault you don’t have a sense of humor and can’t separate yourself from truth and really bad comedy.

Speaking of truth, I don’t find Winehouse all that bad. I mean if I go out to bars in this city, I always run into Jewish girls, just earlier today I was walking down the street to the bus stop and saw a jewish girl walk out of a hair salon, and I coulda sworn, if she didn’t shower for a month, let her hair grow out, and did some weird make-up, she’d be Amy Winehouse’s twin, and this happens all the fucking time to me. Sometimes I am tempted to videotape myself asking these randoms for autographs, but figure calling someone Amy Winehouse is considered an insult.

Maybe everyone makes a big deal about this slag killing herself and lookin’ like death, because people are superficial and she looks like their daughters (I’m talking to you Adam Sandler ) and the whole thing just hits a little too close to synagogue, when all Winehouse needs is a little hair and make-up and she’ll be back to the Sabbath in no time….

These pictures remind me of a dare I once made with a friend. Yes, we are 13 year olds mentally, and dare each other to do stupid shit sometimes. The dare was to pay his bar tab if he went outside and convinced a homeless street kid to do spring break body shots with him. So he comes back with this disgusting girl, I am talking ratty as fuck and stinking of stinky unwashed pussy, and next thing you know, she’s on the bar and whip cream’s on her dirty stomach, and motherfucker goes to town on her. After he’s done and we all are disgusted that he went through with it, he decides to keep her around and drink the night away with her, take her home and to this day, they have never spent a day apart. I like to think of myself as a modern day matchmaker, but my friend didn’t have many options and let’s face it, either did the street kid he picked up….and they lived happily ever after in trash, drugs and dirty bedsheets….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Shot