I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

24

Oct

Jodie Marsh’s Lesbian Haircut of the Day

1 Comment »

Last week I was at a party and a girl was sitting at the bar next to me, she had this stupid shaved side of her head that I hadn’t really seen since the 80s at punk shows and I was kinda surprised it made a comeback since shit was heavily lesbionic. I sat there staring at it for a while, because the girl was one of those fashionista bottle whore types, and not a ratty street kid like you’d expect to see with half her head shaved and over the course of 20 minutes she was next to me, her friend kept coming up to her and telling her how much they loved her hair, when I decided to chime in and say something along the lines of the fact that no penis will ever go near her again….ever, and she just blew me off and by the end of the night, I saw that I was totally wrong, because she was dancing on a table for a bunch of men, which goes to show you that, despite ripping away all things potentially sexy about you, by raping your head, guys will still stick it to you, because you have a vagina.

That said, when I saw these pictures of UK slut Jodie Marsh with the letter N dyed into her hair, like a bad hip hop video, I thought the same thing, but then I realized she’s still got insane tits, so who really cares about whatever fuckin’ statement she’s trying to make, because all I want to do is sneak into her bedroom and steal a pair of her dirty panties to try to figure out the secret ingredient in her Big Mac’s special sauce and I am going to have to with 6 month old stale semen, because I’m pretty sure this chick is a dyke now, or at least that’s what her hair and the company she keeps is telling me. It’s also telling me to stop this post now because no one gives a fuck about her.

Posted in:Haircut|Jodie Marsh|Lesbian

2008

24

Oct

Charlize Theron’s Mom Tries to Defend Her of the Day

1 Comment »

Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Mom|Paparazzi

2008

24

Oct

Kardinal Offishall Number 1 Video Premiere of the Day

1 Comment »

Kardinal Offishall is cool with me. His people put me on the list to some parties, they got me tickets to his concert, they unlike every single record label or artist value what the site brings to the table or some shit, so when I saw this premiere to his new video, I felt like I had to post the shit because it’s one of those scratch my back I’ll scratch your back situation, only in this case, there’s no physical contact going on, because that shit would be gay and I am not down with that, no matter how much E I’m on.

The video doesn’t have many sluts doing slutty things in it, like there’s not booty talking, there’s not pornstars simulating sex, it’s all pretty tame, but I think the songs pretty sexy and something you could probably throw on when you drag a drugged up girl home by the hair to real secure that the sexy time you are about to have with her paralyzed body is not rape, but love making.

Check it out if you wanna hear a new song and see a new video of a guy who’s been nothing but supportive of what I do, which is pretty much sit around in my underwear writing hateful smut no one reads, so in turn I’m going to give him my support for making good music. That’s just how I work.

UPDATE – Here’s a video of the Casting Call, where sluts with big dreams of being in music videos showed up….to dance around…like sluts….

Posted in:Kardinal Offishall|Number 1|Video

2008

24

Oct

Thandie Newton and Ricky Gervais Re-Entact the Nailin Palin Porn of the Day

9 Comments »

So some talk show in the UK got their hands on the Nailin Paylin porn movie script and they got Ricky Gervais and Thandie Newton to re-enact a scene from the movie. I think this is a pretty clever TV talk show idea and probably something you’d never see in the USA, because of the conservative Christians the networks are constantly trying to not offend. I like that these two famous people go along with the stunt, because they aren’t frigid, scared, boring people and I guess this is just another reason why the UK is more forward thinking than the backwards USA that likes to sweep the smut under the rug, despite being the biggest producers of the shit. I guess they’re just hypocrites and who really cares, because Thandie Newton is hot and hearing her read a porn script is almost a fantasy of mine, if they just threw in some nudity, a nativity scene, with 3 nude “wisemen” and a couple farm animals, all while she was 9 months pregnant, I’d be fully satisfied with this clip, but until that happens, this will have to do.

Posted in:Nailin Paylin|Ricky Gervais|Sarah Palin|Thandie Newton

2008

24

Oct

Hayden Panettiere Flashes His Underwear of the Day

8 Comments »

Ellen is on some lesbian power trip where she makes every female guest wear a pair of her used men’s underwear, because as you all know lesbian likes to wear men’s clothes and fuck women in men’s clothes. I don’t. Or maybe Hayden Panettiere is mocking lesbianism, in some subtle way, thinking she’d relate better to Ellen if she dyked it up some, because all lesbians wear boxer shorts and have strap-on cocks to match their lesbian haircuts and flannel. What I do know is that Hayden definitely wearing a slutty black dress and Ellen is struggling to focus, that’s why the interview was cut short and diverted to trying to talk about Hayden and her boyfriend, to really drive the point home that Ellen’s got no chance and I was told that after shooting this segment, Ellen had to run back stage and change her socks because they were soaked right through from her soft on excitement….true story.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

24

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

My neighbor who pretty much just moved in and who I don’t know very well just knocked on my door. I am a pretty paranoid person because I get comments and emails like this:

this is the most lame blog ever.
i only come on this accidently because dlisted has links, i start to read but your writing is so lame, like, embarrassingly not funny. i blush for you…
please take some wit and humour classes and then start this up again.
yikes, it’s like talking to someone via time machine to 1989…!

All the time, so I wasn’t too down with answering the door for fear that they’ve found me and are going to kill me.

Instead it was my neighbor in desperate need for a condom. He was begging for one, something I would never do, but figured I’d look around for him anyway. Since I don’t fuck, I don’t really keep them laying around, so I suggested he use a plastic bag, but decided to look for one and found a couple studded condoms from 10 years ago when I was a little more wild that expired over 5 years ago and told him they were all I had. He didn’t seem to care, because he was about to get laid and at least having something on was enough to trick her into fucking him an expired condom was better than no condom for him, so I may be responsible for whatever disease he lands tonight, but I like to think that that’s what neighbors are for….

Here are my links….

Friday Slut Fest Goes On Now
GO

America Ferrera Tried to Get in Lohan’s Pussy
GO

Flight Attendant Fun
GO

Mary Carey’s Tit’s Are Inspirational
GO

Because Your Dad’s Porn is Old and Tattered Like Your Mom’s Vagina
GO

Jodie Marsh Has Something On Her Face
GO

The Dirtiest Couple of Famous Chicks Who Have No Business Being Famous, But Who Both Have Business Having STDs…
GO

Some Eva Herzigova Upskirt Action
GO

The Hills Continues to Spead Like Herpres All Over the Place
GO

Trick or Boobs
GO

These Bears Are Smarter Than You
GO

Christian Nymphos
GO

Presidential Dance Off
GO

Hate Elizabeth Hasslebeck? Join the Club
GO

Chicks Should Stick to What They Do Best. Shopping
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Your Hand Can Only Do So Much
GO

Table Jump
GO

Valerie Has a Dream Ass
GO

She Gives It All Up and You Will Love It
GO

You’ll Never Guess Who DJ AM is Fucking Because Half of You Don’t Know Who he Is…
GO

Angelina Jolie’s Kids Know They Are Bastards
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Rubber Band Nut Shot
GO

Brain Dead!!
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt in Tight Black Pants
GO

Sushi Art
GO

Get Laid, Because Being a Virgin is Pretty Fucking Lame Dude
GO

Italian Television Boob Pop Out
GO

Alight This Kid Freaks Me The Fuck Out
GO

Becki Newton is My New WAnk Fantasy
GO

Busty Busty Emma
GO

Some Chick Named Holly Webber in Lingerie….
GO

Some Exclusive Simpson’s Intro Preview
GO

The Dos and Don’ts About Dressing Up For Halloween
GO

Everyone on Ugly Betty Hates Lindsay Lohan
GO

Rhianna on the Set of Her New Video. Tasty
GO

Shiny Shiny Bijou
GO

My Mac is a Piece of Shit, But Man They Make Some Good Commercials
GO

Monica Bellucci In Some Lace Shirt….
GO

A couple Bitches….
GO

JOhnny Knoxville Blows Some Shit Up
GO

Anal Art!!
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Tits and Vag
GO

Some Army Girl’s Bare Ass
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

23

Oct

Tara Reid’s Hard Nipple Looks Better in Clothes of the Day

6 Comments »

Tara Reid has taught me so much out of life. First,i there’s no reason to not treat everyday like it’s a fucking party if you have made stupid money in stupid movies and you don’t really need to work the 9-5 grind like an asshole and instead can spend your life drinking and tanning around the world in a bikini. Second, that if you lose a bet that requires you to get plastic surgery on the dancefloor by some contraband plastic surgeon in a third world country, take the high road and don’t go through with the shit, because your nipples and stomach will suffer. Third, if you are engaged to an MTV VJ who has dreams of having his own talkshow that no one watches, escape when you ca and today she teaches us that wearing a shirt makes you look a fuck of a lot better than wearing a bikini, because your hard nipples aim in the right place and we don’t have to get distracted by the mess of scars we can’t avoid when you are half naked. So I guess she’s not a useless party slut after all, but instead a philosopher changing the way we think at least changing the way we think about her, because these hard nipple pics save those bikini pics….

Posted in:Hard Nipple|Implants|Tara Reid

2008

23

Oct

Tila Tequila is Still a Bisexual Party Slut of the Day

9 Comments »

Tila Tequila still isn’t tired of being a party slut, I’ve seen her in action and she doesn’t drink when she goes out, she just pretends to be drunk while everyone watches her and her fake tits dance around like a fool, making out with girls and playing it up like the slut that she is. It’s pretty much a total fucking lie and a far stretch from real party sluts who dance on stages with no panties after one too many drinks and ending up passed out at some chachi’s luxury loft with his dick in her mouth, but it’s the Hollywood version of reality because Tila Tequila is a plastic tool that I haven’t quite figured out who is using to make them money, but I do know that she’s not real, she’s just some internet celebrity, who’s managed to not be forgotten like all the other internet celebrities before her, and I’m not complaining because I really don’t give a fuck either way. She’s not hot, she’s just there and I’m usually willing to try to stick things in anything that’s just layin’ around. So I guess that makes her good enough.

Posted in:Bisexual|Party Slut|Tila Tequila

2008

23

Oct

Rihanna On Set For Her “Rehab” Video of the Day

1 Comment »

Rihanna breaks down boundaries in her new video, that she’s wearing a leotard and showing off her big black ass in and that’s bringing some interracial sexual tension to the table like we were in the south and she was a plantation owner’s daughter trying to rebel. I really have nothing against IRCs (interracial couples), I think it’s all in good fun, and I am actually in an interracial relationship right now, unfortunately, so I never understood why the Jews always got so worked up about their sons marrying outside their faith, I guess it’s gotta do with them thinking they are the chosen ones or some shit, but seriously we should fuck whoever the fuck we want to fuck or whoever the fuck is willing to fuck us, and sometimes we don’t really have the choice of what color skin they have, or what god they prey to, or whether they even have female gentials. Desperate times call for desperate measures and is the reason why I always keep a wig in close proximity, in the even I need to make that 5 dollar blowjob feel less gay….

Posted in:interracial|Leotard|Rihanna|Set|Video

2008

23

Oct

Gisele’s Skinny Model Legs of the Day

3 Comments »

The one good thing about models, even if the model in question was born with a penis, or at least looks like she was because she has the hardest fucking face around, it their legs. They generally don’t have tits, don’t have an ass, and may not even have a pussy, but long skinny legs are always fun to look at, especially when your life revolves around a wife who doesn’t have knees anymore, but instead has a set of deep set dimples where her knees were buried in obesity. Sure, you may not want legs you can wear as a scarf because you find shit bony and creepy, but walk a mile in my shoes before judging me, because the last time my wife tried to put her leg on my shoulder it dislocated, and instead of it feeling like I was wearing a scarf and about to go for an amazing lunch, it felt like I was in a work related accident at a chemical factory that smelled like shit, or maybe being smothered by a hundred pound bag of rancid cottage cheese that smelled like shit, or even like getting stuck under a bouncy castle with a preschool of kids jumping on the shit after half of them accidentally shit themselves with excitement, explaining the smell of shit, all with no way out but suicide and that probably traumatized me enough to be drawn to these long and luxurious model legs.

Posted in:Gisele|Legs|Skinny