I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

17

Oct

Christina Aguilera Brings Her Fake Tits to an Event of the Day

Christina Aguilera brought her tits out to some event with her handsome rich boyfriend, because besides from her singing voice, they really are the only thing keeping her around in these hard economic times. I am not a fan of big tits especially when they are wasted on rich weasel lookin’ motherfuckers, but there will always be a place in my col black heart for Christina Aguilera, because that girl will always be the Genie in a Bottle who I want to rub the right way to me. Sure, her life has taken a horrible downward spiral since those glory days, but most of the girls I ever got with were pretty much at their worst, so here’s to hoping this trend continues because if I get my way, which I never do, I’ll be hiding in her backyard watching her sun tan topless while she cries, before the police get called.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Fake Tits

2008

17

Oct

Holly Madison Introduces Her New Boyfirend of the Day

Since her high profile break-up with Hugh Hefner, who wasn’t actually her boyfriend, but her boss, and they weren’t actually in a relationship, she was just working for him as part of her job, and like any dude who owns a company who depends on the quality of the pussy, the best way to keep the pussy fresh of the old rotting pussy by firing it for whatever reason, especially when its not pulling its weight and just free loading off its title and taking advantage of the status of its job by getting free shit and throwing it around in an uncontrollable way that is detrimental to the company , and I guess he had enough and figured she was boring and they needed new blood, so he ended up with the Shannon Twins and she ended up with some Mexican Gay dude who helps her get into cars….something she should take in while she can because it won’t be long before she burns through her severance package and ends up back at the trailer park she came from. I’ve seen it happen before and there’s always a crash after you peak, just ask DJ AM’s pilot….what, too soon?

Posted in:Holly Madison|New Boyfriend

2008

17

Oct

Coco Wears a See Through Dress to Some Event of the Day

Coco isn’t really known for her suubtle sluttiness, and is mor the kind of girl you invite to your party because you expect her to show you vagina stunts, like how many dicks her vagina can eat at the same time before her uterus falls ou, or how licks it takes her make her squirt, or how much unprotected sex they can have before she bleeds, or how much cum she can swallow before getting cum farts, or how much silicone you can put in a tit before it starts leaking out of the nipple, you know where I am going with this, she’s a glorified whore, but she works exclusively for Ice T and in his perversion in dating a whore, he sucked up his dignity and brought her to events, because she threatened to stop accepting his business and he decided to marry her, instead of lose her, because the general public accepts a whore of a wife more than a whore. It’s one of those harsh realities for the hookers out there, but don’t worry, I’ll accept you for what you are, if you give me a significant discount, but I won’t stand for you going to black tie events with me, in semi see through shirts on, I’d insist on you showing up totally naked… I guess that’s where Ice T and I are different….along with the color of our skin, the size of our penises, the amount of money in our bank accounts and a whole lot of other things, but he deserves some respect from the feminists out there for taking the high road and treating his hooker like a lady, like his life was that movie Pretty Woman, only more believable, considering no one I know would have sex with Julia Roberts unless she was doin’ the paying.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

17

Oct

Nicolette Sheridan is a Jogger of the Day

Nicolette Sheridan is a 45 year old who proves that if you want to keep your edge and remain a sex object in film an television, you can’t get irresponsible and get married and have kids, becauase we all know that if she had kids, she wouldn’t look like this, since they ruin your fucking life just as much as they ruin your hot body.

Husbands everywhere have to come home to a tired slob of a wife who doesn’t put out anymore and who they are happy doesn’t put out anymore because their bodies are fucking disgusting since they let themselvs go, forcing them to hit the internet and jerk off to pictures of Nicolette Sheridan to find any satisfaction in life. You know sitting in their garage to avoid having to spend time with the slob they married, wondering how their life would be different if the hot 25 year old they sold their soul too was a little more self absorbed, vain and in love with themselves. You know if they said no to the second serving of ice cream during their post partum depression that prevented them from losing the pregnancy weight they gained and spent a little more time jogging….

I guess you can argue that her life is empty and that she will end up alone because she didn’t take the natural course of reproduction, but I am sure the only people saying that are moms, who have brainwashed themselves to thinking having babies is amazing, because it’s all they have going for them after sacrificing themselves to make it happen, and a harsh reality that if they did admit sucked, would make them feel like bad humans, so it’s better to stay delusional about, but I think that with all that money and the fact that every single straight guy in the world is willing to have sex with her, while every Gay dude who watches her shitty Desperate Housewives shit is willing to go straight for her and the fact that she can buy herself a baby who is already 16 when she’s really milked this whole sex symbol thing and has totally cashed out on her body, so that she doesn’t have to go through all the annoying steps of early childhood and can still pretend she’s a mom as it comes to visit her in the old folks home when she’s developed alzheimers because it will be outlined in its contract that it has no choice but to do that if it wants its inheritance….

I don’t really know what I am going off on, I get lost in my words sometimes, but what it comes down to is that watching Nicolette Sheridan jogging and keeping her old lady body fit is like porn to me, maybe because my 45 year old wife’s idea of exercise is eating a bag of chips, but probably because I want to fuck Nicolette Sheridan….

Posted in:Hot Old Lady|Nicolette Sheridan

2008

17

Oct

Katy Perry is a Sloppy Mess of the Day

Katy Perry tried to do some novelty pin-up girl jumping into a cake for her novelty song that has made her more than just novelty money and novelty famous, which is too bad because I am ready for her and her fuckin’ joke that rapes me almost everyday to go away.

She was at the MTV Latin awards, whenever the fuck those were and she slipped and fell when covered in cake and couldn’t get up. That whole stunt was pretty fucking fat of her and along with kissing girls and liking it, Katy Perry like eating and before the coke addiction and fame, her body proved that she liked it. So apparently, giant cakes aren’t just my wife’s fantasies I used to make fun of her about, along with her dreams of swimming pools filled with chocolate sauce, trees made of licorice, snow being cotton candy, our couch being a giant donut and pretty much all things around her being edible treats, and apparently this idea came to chubby Katy Perry in her chubby dreams she started having when the record label told her to stop eating, but none of that matters, I know that you like girls covered in food because you like girls pretty much covered in anything remotely similar to the consistency of your cum, so I’ll post it for you and I like seeing Katy Perry fail, so I’ll post it for me. Here’s hoping the next video I get of her is of her getting hit kissing the front of a bus and liking it as it runs her and the potential of her making any more music to ruin my life over.

Posted in:Falling|Katy Perry

2008

17

Oct

DJ AM is the Messiah of the Day

I am not sure if you heard this story, but it was on the radio this morning so I assume you have. I never was one for breaking stories, I am more into being late on shit and announcing it to a room full of people like it’s the hottest thing ever, only to have everyone turn to me and tell me that it’s old news. I don’t know why but I find it exhilerating.

Anyway, the report is that after the plane crash DJ AM was getting skin grafts, the doctors found a potentially fatal blood clot in his leg, which happens when you fly too much, I think it’s called deep vein thrombosis but I only think that because I used it as a reason I was late for work a few years back at the canning plant. So if the plane hadn’t crashed, DJ AM could have potentially died as the clot moved to his heart, so instead God crashed the fucking thing, let him walk away with some burns, killing 5 people, just to save AM from death. Something doesn’t sound right, he’s gotta be the Messiah.

If you look at his history, he survived being molested as a child, emotionally eating himself to 360 pounds, smoking crack, an attempted suicide when the bullet jammed in the gun he had to his head, unprotected sex with lots of shady girls and the lead singer of Crazy Town, a one hit wonder band DJ AM was part of, gastric bypass surgery, dating Nicole Richie and pretending to like it, being a glorified Top 40 bar mitzvah DJ and not getting shot by the hip hop gangsters when he claimed to be hip hop, a plane crash, a blood clot (boh boh), dating Jessica Stam and her mental capacity of a hamster. This motherfucker is unstoppable. He must be fuckin’ Jesus, seriously, I heard they were spotted together at Avalon the other night and AM was eating his asshole….only he wasn’t the real Jesus, he was just one of the Mexicans AM pulled in off the street and carries everywhere, because he’s his special lucky charm. I don’t know what I am saying, but I do know this dude’s got more than just a massive butt plug in his ass, he’s also got a horseshoe, because that kind of luck just isn’t normal….maybe he is Satan…which would explain his DJ sets and chachi fan base….and I guess who really cares….

Posted in:DJ AM|Messsiah

2008

17

Oct

Mark Wahlberg Hates Jewish People of the Day

Mark Wahlberg announced on national TV, if you can consider Kimmel national TV considering about 4 people watch his shit show, that he wants to punch some Jewish dude who used to make viral videos and who is now on Saturday Night Live for no reason other than the fact that he is Jewish. He even makes a point of saying that he will punch his Jew nose and I think it’s because he’s a religious Christian and he can’t deal with the fact that the Jews don’t accept his Messiah and think that they are the chosen ones, when Wahlberg knows very well that the Pope is the chosen one…..

The real story, or the story he claims is the real story, to try to take away from the fact that he hates Jews is that Samberg made fun of him on SNL and Wahlberg doesn’t like being laughed at. The reality is that no matter what the reason for the beating is, Samberg better watch the fuck out, because Wahlberg’s from the hood and before he was famous he blinded a motherfucker, something all the lawyers letters that Sambergs pussy Jew self threatens to issue as Wahlberg backs him into a corner, can’t really reverse.

The sad truth is that this battle won’t come to blows and no matter how much he slams SNL for not being funny, this will just fuel more bad jokes that only 14 year olds and 50 year olds will apppreciate because anyone between those ages will be doing better things, like drinking and fucking, except you, you’ll be surfing the internet like the loser you are…..

Either way, Here’s the SNL Clip he’s crying about:

UPDATE – Some Good Vibrations to Remind You Of His Hood Roots

Posted in:Anti-Semite|Mark Wahlberg

2008

17

Oct

Featured YouTube Video to Start the Day of the Day

This YouTube video was featured today and I thought it was a good inspiring way to start the day, but that’s just because anytime I see socially awkward greasy losers doing stunts, I feel inspired. It’s actually the reason I write this website, because I know that somewhere out there, a greasy fat socially awkward loser is reading this, only you probably aren’t getting a ton of view on YouTube, but are just generating a lot of views on YouTube for lack of better things to do, because let’s face it, your phone isn’t ringing off the hook by people who are dying to spend time with you.

The highlight of the video is that he posts his Busking date and time and I hope one of you takes some initiative and goes to this event to document what kind of people go to watch people busk after seeing them on YouTube, it’s not like you have anything better to do and I think the fresh air will do you some good. When you’re done, please send me the footage, because I’ll likely be drunk in a ditch after spending the night harassing girls who won’t sleep with me and not on a plane to the UK to experience this legendary event.

Posted in:Youtube

2008

16

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I went into a coffee shop and saw some woman waiting in line in front of me to get more whipped cream and toppings on her coffee. She had already finished the first round of topping and needed more sugar. The staff was a little thrown off by her request, but gave it to her anyway, then she asked them for more Caramel sauce, as he squeezed it onto the whipped cream, she told him not to be shy and to keep it coming, until her coffee drink looked like a creamy caramel mess. Then she attacked the chocolate flakes that were in a jar next to the milk and sugar, to make the place seem more classy and for people to use sparingly on their hot chocolates and faggy coffees, but she started piling on 3 or 10 scoops of the shit into her already disgusting drink. She grabbed a spoon and started digging in like she won the fuckin’ lottery and today was the best day in her life.

I wanted to give her some credit for being eager to get all the free sweets you can get to feed your fat sweet addicted face and to turn your coffee into a tasty 2000 calorie treat, but it disgusted me and I accidentally called her a pig instead, when she asked what I said, I tried to cover it up by saying that I said she wasn’t a pig, and instead of making a friend today, I made an enemy and she stormed off pissed off at the world despite how happy she was just a few minutes before because it turns out that your day isn’t the only day I ruin….

Here are my links….

The Sex Toy Costume Contest
GO

Fat Boy Seems Like My Kind of Pony
GO

Danielle Lloyd’s Idea of a Business Casual is Pretty Half Naked
GO

Hey Traci Bingham! Why Don’t You Do Us All a Favor and PUT A FUCKING BAG ON YOUR HEAD
GO

Herry Katona and Her 36DD Topless Throwback
GO

I’m Starting to Think All These New Casters Freudiant Slips Are Intentional
GO

5 Political Pornos Everyone Would Vote For
GO

I Have Gotta Get to The Race
GO

Relax Ringo Starr, You’re Not Famous Anymore
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Find This Hour
GO

And I Thought My Wife Was Fucking Ugly
GO

Angelina Jolie is Looking Good on the Today Show
GO

Celebrity Phone Tap
GO

Now Here’s a Slutty Muppet With Current Day Values
GO

Fat Lady Fail
GO

I Say Get Laid, You Say Why Not?
GO

Women Problems Isn’t Even the Word To Describe It
GO

Dennis Leary Apologizes For Making Fun of Retards
GO

Illegal Immigrant Van Crash
CLOWN CAR
GO

Anything Involving an Idiot and a Unicycle Just Can’t End Well
GO

Carmen Electra’s Striptease Training
GO

Veronika Zemanova Can Do No Wrong
GO

Jenya D is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Can Someone Please Get Me a Fucking Gun? Anyone? The Hills Have Gone Too Far….
GO

That Little Homo From That Twilight Movie Needs to Lay Off the Heroin, Pronto
GO

Things With Madonna and Guy Richie Are About to get Ugly
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Brooke Decker Lingerie Hotness
GO

Hunting With Sarah Palin
GO

Peeing in the Frozen Food Section
GO

Michah Moore is Amazing
GO

Adriana Lima’s Bra is Worth More Than Your Life
GO

Nicole Graves is Better Than a BBQ
GO

Erika Medina Needs to Get Her People to Lay Off the Airbrushing, Holy Shit
GO

If Rhianna Starts Banging Kanye, I Am Going to Off Myself
GO

Rebecca Loos is in Playboy
GO

Johnny Knoxville on WWE
GO

Silvia Ray is Your Borderline Jailbait Fantasy
GO

O-Face or Sportscaster Face
GO

A Car Plows Into 3 People While They Wait for the Bus…
GO

Behind the Scenes With Lisa Ann on Set of the Palin Porn
GO

The 7 Most Underrated Hot Chicks on TV
GO

WAG Alena Seredova Gallery
GO

Some Interview With One of the 90210 Sluts
GO

Create Perpetual Energy. Kind Of
GO

Mutant Vagina is Coming to Get You….
GO

Because There is Only So Much Your Bad Personality Can Do
GO

Some LA Whore Showing Some Leg
GO

Whores a Plenty
GO

Bonus – The Ridiculous John McCain Pic that’s Doing The Rounds…..

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

16

Oct

George Hamilton Had Sex With his StepMother When He was 12 of the Day

The forever tanned sparkling white toothed George Hamilton revealed to the world that he had a sexual relationship with his stepmother when he was 12 and she was in her 30s. He thinks it was good experience and so would I, because when I was 12 I was learning how to speak English watching Sesame Street and I wasn’t getting 30 year old pussy. I know everyone finds this sick, but if I had a stepmother, I would have totally snuck into her bath with her and shit , because lets face it she’s not blood related and she has a vagina. The good news is that he said if he was molested he’d do it again and I think that’s the attitude most molested people should take, instead of feeling violated and acting like a fuckin’ victim, sex is a good thing and people have to be a little more down to fuck than putting all these rules and regulations and laws on the shit…..at least that’s what I tell my stepdaughters every time they threaten me about going to the authorities…..

On a side note, his son’s quite the comedian, you should check out his comedy routine by scrolling to the end of this video but the biggest joke is that Kimberly Stewart is his Half Sister…..who he probably didn’t fuck, since they have the same mom and that would be incest and incest is wrong, even if no one is looking, or if all your friends are doing it…

Posted in:George Hamilton|Sex|Stepmother