I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

03

Oct

Jojo Has a New Boyfriend of the Day

If you’ve been wondering what Jojo Levesque has been up to the last few years, it turns out she’s been fucking giant stuffed animals and as weird as that may be, I am sure you’ve done or jerked off to a lot weirder. Like the time you went on that fishing trip with your buddies and though it would be funny to shove you dick in the freshly caught trout, or the time you made your own vagina out of a bowl of warm pasta, or the time you spent a week crafting a sex machine, that you had no one to use it with, so you borrowed the neighbor’s dog…you get what I am trying to say here….you are a sick fuck and that’s the end of that.

Posted in:cleavage|JoJo|Uncategorized

2008

03

Oct

Blake Lively Kissing On the Gossip Girl Set of the Day

Blake Lively is the star of one of those teen targeted shows that ends up turning them into materialistic, money grubbing, wallet fucking, gossiping, scenester, bottle whore sluts called Gossip Girl that I have never seen but know it has that kind of power because teenagers are pretty easy to influence. I know that people have been giving her all kinds of credit for being hot, but I just don’t see it and figured I’d post these pictures of her just to say that and to say that I am a pretty big asshole. A group of kids were in the back alley behind my shit hole apartment and were doing some kind of lame teenage drug deal and were smoking what was probably one of their first joints and were looking over their shoulder constantly to see if anyone was going to catch them and arrest them and just when they decided to get comfortable, I pulled out my camera and snapped off the flash, making them all panic and run, while I sat at my command center laughing to myself, that may have nothing to do with Blake Lively, but I heard them say they can’t wait to go home and watch the new episode of Gossip Girl that they TIVOed, so maybe it does.

Posted in:Blake Lively|Kissing

2008

03

Oct

P. Diddy is a Copyright Infringer of the Day

So Puff is a ratty motherfucker who makes far too much money and tries to be down with the people by running his video blog where he preaches his shit and since this is the internet, I’ve got no real issue with that. I never watch the videos because I don’t think dude’s interesting enough to listen to, I also don’t think he’s funny but I do think there is some serious hypocrisy, when dude is allowed to post clips from Good Morning America within his video, while people like me get hit up with lawyers letters almost on a daily basis for posting shit we see on TV, or on the internet. Not to mention Diddy is probably right there with the RIAA on taking down piracy and arresting innocent people or illegal music downloads, because it’s out of his fucking pocket, but probably illegally downloading movies and music all the fuckin’ time when making shitty videos with copyrighted material from other people like Good Morning America. It is annoying and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:P. Diddy|Puff Daddy

2008

03

Oct

Perez Hilton’ Gap Ad of the Day

So I don’t know what the booze did to me last night but it definitely left me brain chemically unbalanced today. I woke up with a smile, I walked around outside with a smile, I am giggling like a fucking group of homos watching Project Runway, or whatever it is that homos watch that make them giggle and I don’t really know what it is. I laughed when this hot girl told me my shirt made me look poor because it is a tourist shirt that says Los Angeles on it from god knows where and I got a real kick out of that, I laughed when another girl looked at me with disgust when I was checking out her ass in white sweat pants. I even laughed when some old man farted in line next to me, when I’d normally call him disgusting or something. I’ve just been on a high all fuckin’ day, maybe it’s a manic episode, but according to various psych evaluations, I am not bi-polar, maybe it’s just what not giving a fuck and just being satisfied with life and the funny things it throws our way, instead of being tightly wound and miserable. Who really knows, but it fells pretty fucking good, I should drink more often, Then I saw this ad Perez Hilton did for The Gap and it made me want throw in the towel and end it all, just like that my flowery, sunshine day turned to shit because I was reminded that those who are useless and don’t deserve fans, like the cast of The Hills and Perez, have idiots buying into their shit and corporations bank rolling them because they think they are what people like, giving them the exposure that makes the people who don’t know any better, learn about them and increase their stock value and it makes no fucking sense to me.


Watch this shit here if you’ve been debating suicide, this should be the determining factor that you’ve been missing up until now. You know that one thing to make you actually jump off the edge and not just stand there hoping someone comes and saves you….
GO

Posted in:Gap|Perez Hilton

2008

03

Oct

Sophie Monk’s Fat Thighs in Jean Shorts of the Day

Posted in:Sophie Monk|Thighs

2008

03

Oct

Christina Milian’s Not Wearing Panties of the Day

Here are some older pictures of Christina Milian flashing the world her pantyless pussy, unfortunately, the camera guy was a fucking asshole and he missed the fuckin’ meat. This is like making a pie without putting the filling in it, or like driving without a car, or like trying to finger a girl despite having no arms. I don’t really know what I am saying, but I am definitely writing nonsense and you don’t deserve that, but I don’t feel like I deserve these cockteasing pictures. Sure, Milian is pretty irrelevant now, but pussy is fuckin’ pussy and if I took the attitude towards all washed up girls, where I seemingly moved on from them with their popularity dwindling and their careers and beauty fading, I would still be a fuckin’ virgin, because if you saw my roster, or the slopholes that made the notches on this very large belt, you’d know that I don’t think I am too good for shit…seriously….if shit was shaped like a pussy in one of those Miracle From God ways like the time the Grilled Cheese had the Virgin Mary’s Likeness toasted on it, I’d totally fuck it.

Posted in:Christina Milian|Panties

2008

03

Oct

Lindsay Lohan is Back in LA of the Day

Here is a video of Lohan pleading with the paparazzi to not record in her house, it’s the same kind of pleading she gets when Samantha pulls out the 6 inch dolphin shaped dildo, when Lohan’s made it clear she likes the 13 inch black cock shaped dildo. I get it, bad gay jokes are played the fuck out, boring to read, and are a weak lazy attempt at a post, but bad gay jokes in everyday life are funny. Last night some guy was hustling my stepdaughter outside that bar we were drinking at, he was trying to get her home and to make it seem less obvious, he invited me and a group of guys to his after party at his apartment and I answered by telling him that I am not really into homo shit, and dude went nuts and tried to fight me because I guess inviting drunk men to his place at 4 in the morning seems pretty hetero to him.

Posted in:LA|Lindsay Lohan

2008

03

Oct

Lauren Conrad Leaves a Bar With a Random Man at 2 AM and No One Cares But the Paparazzi of the Day

I came across this video of Lauren Conrad leaving a club and the paparazzi is a really nice guy. He calls her sweety and he tells her to be safe about 50 fuckin’ times like he is legitimately worried the paparazzi are going to Princess Diana her, except for the fact that no one gives enough of a fuck about her to run her off the road and into a cement wall. Maybe the dude was making reference to the sex she is going to be getting from the coat tail celebrity riding dude in the video, and the paparazzi doesn’t want her to get STDs or pregnant.

Speaking of unprotected sex, I wanted to message a friend of mine who knocked up a girl a couple weeks ago and who has been fighting with her to get an abortion and who actually won the battle yesterday, something nice. So I congratulated him on his abortion by asking if it turned him on. The problem is that I accidentally sent the message to a random hot girl, who like all girls older than 21, has probably had an abortion and she went nuts. It’s like shit struck a nerve, she got defensive, asked who told me about it and now thinks everyone knows she’s a fetus killer. I told her that the message was meant for someone else, and she wasn’t having it. Now she’s probably going to off herself because of the shame. Oh, the fun that is the internet.

Who fucking, knows, but I think this is the kind of game that made Britney Spears fall in love with her very own sweet talkin’ charmer of a paparazzi and again, who really gives a fuck.

Posted in:Lauren Conrad|Paparazzi

2008

03

Oct

Jodie Marsh in a Dominatrix Outfit Showing Some Tit of the Day

So I ask this girl on facebook chat, who never shuts up, if she ever sucks asshole when sucking dick. It’s a pretty fucking standard question and according to my friend who goes out and parties a lot and hustles lots of random girls, getting your asshole licked has made it’s way into the mainstream and is a pretty fucking standard thing. I remember a time when a girl tried to lick my asshole in the 90s and I freaked the fuck out because I didn’t get what she was doing, but now it is up there with playing with balls or using hand and that’s crazy to me, I blame the gays, so I ask around to see if my friend is telling me the truth. Her response:

you ever eat an ice cream cone while douching?

I hate when people try to be funny by saying totally retarded shit. It’s like let’s think of the most random acts that we think of that would be funny, put them together and we get a fuckin’ comeback. I didn’t ask for her to act the fuck up, I asked a real question and I expected a real answer and that is why someone in her home town better gag this bitch with their dick she deserves it, even though she is probably a lesbian, because only lesbians try to be funny.

Speaking of gagging, here’s some pics of Jodie Marsh’s tits in some dominatrix type outfit, because no gag reflex is what got her where she is today, even though we haven’t quite figured out where she is today, but we do see a lot of pictures of her, so it must be somewhere.

Posted in:Dominatrix|Jodie Marsh

2008

03

Oct

Jessica Alba’s Declare Yourself Commercial of the Day

I went out drinking hard last night. I woke up 20 minutes ago still drunk. This was the first thing I saw in my email and the worst thing to listen to when waking up feeling like death. I have a hard enough dealing with my wife yelling at me, that the last thing I want to do on a leisurely Saturday morning is hear Alba screaming at me. It’s reasons like this that man invented spousal abuse. I get what she’s trying to do, she’s just pretty much failed at doing it. Next time she should show more cooter, even if it is now built to smuggle her Mexican family into the US now that she’s had a baby, it’s still more appealing than this crap.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Politics