I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

06

Aug

Heidi Klum Topless Vacation of the Day

Girls are so catty. I was at the strip club the other night and I saw two of the strippers pretty much beating each other up because they were wearing the same stripper costume. They were pulling at each other’s shirts and spitting at each other while calling each other names. The bouncer let it go on for a few minutes because he knew shit was good for business, because it’s not everyday at the stripclub where some wrestling implanted whores get down and he sent both girls home. I was just surprised that they’d get so mad about somethng so stupid, I figured they didn’t have that much selection at the local stripper costume shop to begin with and seeing another girl working in the same costume happens all the time, not to mention as a patron, we just want to see you naked and don’t really even notice what you’re wearing, but girls will be girls.

Here are some pics of Heidi Klum raining on Cindy Crawford’s topless moment in the sun, because I guess she wants to prove that she’s still got it goin’ on too and that even after ravagin her body with black man cock and black man semen and black man babies, people still like seeing her ex-model mom tits.

If this is infact a competition of tits, where Heidi Klum is trying to show up Cindy Crawford, she lost. It’s safe to say that bad things have happened to Heidi Klum and bitch looks like she’s been dancing around a fire chanting tribal songs with her family and that this shit was shot by National Geographic and that she’s definitely lost whatever she once had.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Topless|Vacation

2008

06

Aug

Paris Hilton on Funny or Die of the Day

I hate Will Ferrell and everything he does. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s because I don’t find him funny anymore and just think he’s annoying as fuck and does bad movie after bad movie and still gets respect despite being a repetitive asshole or maybe it’s because he moved online with this FunnyOrDie shit and is stepping on my fuckin’ toes by being way more successful than me on my own turf, because I like to think I pioneered the internet from my Salvation Army pissed stained couch in my shitty apartment that I call my command center, but it doesn’t really matter, I’m a hater anyway you dice it and nothing they produce makes me laugh especially with that bias.

So, last night when at a hot young girl’s house because she offered to make me dinner, she’s got Leno on and they feature this Paris Hilton response to McCain using her image in one of his ads and the concept is alright, because seeing her solve the energy crisis while the politicians can’t come to a logical solution and fight like girls about it, instead of actually making moves to make the world a better place is alright, but the biggest joke in the whole thing was her intro wear she sounded like a retarded 14 year old and made claims of being hot while wearing a bikini, when the rest of the world knows that she’s over and done with. If anything McCain’s just showing his age and disconnect to the public by using her to represent one of the biggest celebrities out there, when the reality is that she’s just a fuckin’ nothing rich kid and that disconnect may have ruined his campaign for anyone on the fence about who to vote for.

I’d be more supportive of this site if they had some kind of voting widget that if the public voted something to be not funny, they would follow up with a video of the person in it actually dying.

Posted in:Funny or Die|Paris Hilton

2008

06

Aug

Jennifer Flavin in Her Bikini of the Day

Everyone’s been focusing on Sly Stalone in these beach pictures, mainly because he’s 60 and jacked and obviously on steroids and that seems to be a big deal to gossip reporters, but the truth is, dude has been ripped for the last 25 years and who really gives a fuck about an old tired man holding onto his youth as tightly as he can, especially when he’s prancing around with his wife, who is in a bikini and a lot easier on the fuckin’ eyes than the freak of nature she is married to.

Speaking of freaks, I was walking downtown last night and a bunch of guys were brawling with Hockey Sticks, like seriously beating the fuck out of each other like they were Rocky, and despite all the blood and damage done, I thought the whole thing was pretty fuckin’ funny considering we’re in Canada, like these motherfuckers couldn’t have just used rocks or knives or guns like normal people, they had to go out and fuel a fuckin’ stereotype.

I guess who cares about my story, just look at these pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Flavin

2008

06

Aug

Cindy Crawford’s Topless on the Yacht of the Day

Here are some more pictures of Cindy Crawford on some Yacht with George Clooney and her husband and like most people on Yachts in Europe do, she decided to take off her top and tan them titties. I really don’t find there to be anything offensive with seeing this mother of 2 topless, when normally I am thrown off at how a body is destroyed by childbirth everytime I accidently see a mom nude, but the odd time, a girl like Cindy Crawford defies nature and gets her shit back to what it was, leaving her someone worth jerking off to. She’s in her 40s and hotter than 20 year olds I have had, and that’s something that is worth celebrating because now we know it’s possible to retain your sex appeal in the “afterlife”, but also worth crying over because none of our wives look this good. She’s such a bitch for rubbin’ it in by takin’ off her top, but it turns out that I like these kinds of bitches and feel like I need more of them in my life.

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Topless|Yacht

2008

06

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

The Backstreet Boys were in town tonight so I decided to walk by the club they were hosting an event at because I was amazed they were all still alive and really curious about what kind of party they would start now that they are all old has-beens. I wasn’t planning on going in, but I wanted to see the kind of people who go out of their way to see The Backstreet Boys in their dying years and there was actually a whole lot of fat girls showing off some tit in tight clothing for their childhood celebrity boyfriends.

I was convinced no one would show up except for the Born Again Brian to hit up the free booze because god hasn’t been good to him while trying to convince the barmaid who he was after she didn’t recognize him behind all those wrinkles.

I couldn’t get in, which is too bad cuz I would have loved them to sign my tits, I was wearing sandals and haven’t showered in a few days, but I want it that way and you want my links…so here they are….

I Wish Robert Deniro Would Stay the Fuck Away From Comedies
GO

911 Call to End All 911 Calls
GO

Scarlett Johansson is a Lady in Red and That Doesn’t Mean on Her Period for the Fans
GO

Sylvester Stalllone is Jacked….
GO

The Side of Vanessa Hudgen’s Boobs Isn’t Nearly as Exciting as Her Nudes I Almost Got Sued Over
GO

Mountain Golfing Looks Alright
GO

January Jones is Rocking OUt in Summer
GO

Some Brand New Audrina With Her Fake Tits in Her Pink Bikini
GO

The Hottest Girl On Girl Celeb Makeouts Of 2008
GO

The Worst 80’s Anti Drug PSAs
GO

Jessica Alba’s Close-Up Post Pregnant Ass Shot
GO

Who Would You Rather Do at The Picnic
GO

Anderson Cooper Hates Ali Lohan
GO

Fucking With Sleeping Friends Never Gets Dull…
GO

Mr.Rogers is Scaring the Shit Out of Me
GO

Emily Scott Zoo Gallery
GO

Craig Jones Dies in Crazy Bike Race Crash – Video
GO

Gorgeous Blonde Lia
GO

Penthouse Pet Andy Valentino
GO

Dark Hair, Blue Eyes. Tasty
GO

Tyra Banks Has Lost Her Fucking Mind
GO

More Clone Wars Bullshit, You Fucking Star Wars Nerd
GO

Roofie Roulette Looks Like The Best Party Game Ever
GO

Oprah is Rich
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Virgin
GO

Keira Knightly is Part Retard or Something
GO

Miranda Kerr Modeling At Some Show or Another
GO

All the Teens Choice Award’s Bullshit Lumped into One Gay Post
GO

Cute Young Amateur
GO

Styla Styles Strips Down
GO

Techno Rave Girl On Drugs Needs to Relax a Tad
GO

Attention Whores of the Day
GO

MILF Hotline is Probably Right Up Your Alley. Perv
GO

Some Whore Does an Anal Bottle Rocket
GO

Tory Lane Gallery
GO

Amber Heard Hangs Out at Comicon
GO

The Lovely Zafira
GO

Finding Sex Has Never Been Easier
GO

Kaila Williams is My New Black Girl Crush
GO

Lauren Hill – Still Crazy
GO

Chick Looses Her Shit in the Mid at Some Festival
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Hannah Hilton Gallery
GO

The Fat Chick Who Played Tracy Turnblad is Most Probably Racist
GO

Eva Herzigova in GQ
GO

More Homemade Bombs
GO

Hot Fake Tits Sell Rum in Brazil
GO

Jesse McCartney Shows His Ass
GO

Guiness’ Porno Ad Campaign
GO

Hot Slut Sychronized Swimming Team
GO

Playboy Sluts Do Coney Island
GO

Russian Sluts Break Bikini Records
GO

Alter Girl Turns Pornstar…Like All Good Followers of Christ….
GO

Web Sluts Who Do a Job Right
GO

Find the Best Porn Galore
GO

Some Montreal Bitch in a See Through Outfit
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

05

Aug

Britney Spears Leaving a Gym Wearing a Bra of the Day

Britney Spears has really made a comeback and that upsets me. I was so happy when I found out that she wasn’t this cookie cutter popstar and actually had some mental issues, that I now think were just staged and an extension of being a lazy rich brat and not actual mental illness, and I hate seeing her leaving the gym everyday, slowly getting back to where she once was, becasue I like my women crazy. I am talking feces throwing, running around naked crazy because crazy girls are crazy in bed and well put together, mentally stable girls are just fuckin’ boring. So, I need a girl who pisses herself in public places just because she feels like it and smells like a men’s washroom without a urinal cake at all times because the snowsuit she wears in the middle of summer hasn’t been washed in a decade, just because I know she’ll be too busy punching herself in the face to say no to me.

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Gym

2008

05

Aug

Rihanna and Chris Brown Rock the Hot Tub of the Day

Here are some shitty pictures of Rihanna and Chris Brown in a hot tub and I am not just saying that because they are brown. I am saying it because my idea of a hot tub party is a lot dirtier than this tame zoo shit, like the kind of thing that gives you AIDS and not by having sex with a monkey, but by having sex with lots of dirty girls while they are having sex with each other, like what you see in a porno but more realistic because I’d be in it and my small penis would never get cast in a real life porno, just the ones in my head….

Posted in:Chris Brown|Hot Tub|Rihanna

2008

05

Aug

Jordan’s Down Blouse Tits of the Day

I know that face all too well, it’s the sign that the roofies haven’t kicked in as strong as you wanted the to and you know you only have a few minutes to throw the slut over the club’s toilet and give it to her proper before she comes to her senses and starts to fight back, leaving you with a broken nose, a possible ciminal record, embarassment in front of all the clubgoers who witness the scene and judge you but even worse, a bad case of blue balls.

Either way, Jordan was out with her fake tits the other day and I figured it’s only right to post them since she’s put so much time, energy and money into them, it’s like they are her own kind of national momument only instead of being a country, she’s just a whore and her tits are really the only reason she’s famous and they aren’t even anything special they are just more like something you look at and wonder what went wrong in her life to make her put that much importance on something so stupid.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits

2008

05

Aug

Hayden Panettiere and Her Yoga Pants of the Day

I am posting these picturs of Hayden “built like a fridge” Panettiere because she is in yoga pants and seeing her in yoga pants makes me laugh because she’s looks about as flexible as a Christopher Reeves.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Pants|Yoga

2008

05

Aug

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Girl Tits of the Day

On my way home from my friend’s house, I decided to stop in to see if my Starbuck’s worker was working because I wanted a motherfuckin’ free coffee and saw the weirdest thing. This 300 pound Carnie Wilson motherfucker was getting yelled at by her skinny friend because Carnie was taking too long shoving sugar packs into her fat pants and the skinny girl wasn’t having it. She was calling her fat and disgusting and telling her to hurry the fuck up before she dies of heart disease and diabetes and stroke making them late for their rendez-vous with some guy skinny girl is fucking. The highlight of the experience was when Carnie Wilson stopped in her tracks and stared at a malnourished homeless dude who looked like full blown AIDS and had one leg significantly shorter than the other and the corrective shoes to match as he was begging for change. It was like he was some kind of Mesiah and she gasped in her suffocated by her fat neck voice “he’s so skinny…..” like she was in awe and ready to kiss those corrective shoes. I immediately thought of Kim Kardashian and how she feels everytime she hangs out with normal sized girls who date white guys.

Posted in:Fat Girl|Kim Kardashian|Tits