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Jessel Pena is the Instagram Of The Day

Heather Graham’s Old Flat Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Em Rata Gets Called Out for Being a Titty Whore of the Day

Brie Larson in the Great Outdoors of the Day

Sloppy Katy Perry is Rehearsing her Awkward Dances of the Day

2008

Jul

Vanessa Hudgens Exclusively Boring Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I thought that I was the only one who lost interest and moved on from Jailbait Disney immigrant lookin’ pussy after I saw it in nude pictures, but it turned out the rest of the world did too because she’s been pretty much no where to be found.

I heard there’s a High School Musical 3 in the works, so I am guessing the producers are still getting into her, but that’s just beause Ashley Tisdale reminds them too much of their Jew wives, while Miley Cyrus’ ego and success has made her less ambitious on making them cum with her mouth, while Vanessa Hudgens is holding on as hard as she can to the dream and is willing to do whatever it takes to not have the producers go through with their threats of firing her.

Here she is in some staged bikini pictures with her “boyfriend” to help prove they are real wholesome Disney couple, and decided to have her mount Effron like a good little virgin who only dry fucks you til your dick falls off, because they felt the negative press of these kids being inappropriate didn’t outweigh the struggle they are having to prove Effron’s not Faggot, because Gay teen heart throbs are bad for business. When all the little girls realize they are being lied to and that the Effron fantasy won’t ever come true because they don’t have a penis and that will lead to them realizing that all the Disney dudes who sing and dance all light on their feet are also poofters and they won’t buy tickets to the movies, any of the merch or even cut out posters of the heathen from Teen Beat, to hang above their bed because their minister told them that homos are a product of Satan.

On a side note, I heard it took them 3 weeks to cooridinate this shoot because they couldn’t seem to get all the cock out of Effron’s mouth, but that could just be rumors.

Posted in:Bikini|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

Jul

Jodie Marsh is a Party Slut of the Day

4 Comments »

Jodie Marsh proves that a drunk chick in tight clothes, with big tis hanging out all over the place like they are looking for a good time, while playfully flirting with some other ugly chick, doesn’t have to be hot to be worth fucking. These girls look like garbage failed pornstars who are well past their prime, but remind me of the time I almost scored a threesome. The story is pretty simple, I was at a bar drinking with some trashy busted up chick, who looked and smelled like her teeth were rotting. I figured she was easy pickings.

We got to talking about how she loves being naked with her friends, a thought that was only hot in theory and asked her about threesomes and lesbianism and shit like that, next thing I know the bar is closing and I get invited back to her hotel room that she is sharing with her friend to drink their mini-bar and do some shitty cocaine to keep the party going. After settling in with these 2 busted up chicks. I keep trying to drink them into something hot knowing that the situation outweighs the quality of the pussy, I decide to push for them to kiss and show each other their tits. I guess I was too eager and they weren’t really having it and asked me to leave because they were tired, but before I did, I jerked off in the bathroom to the thought of the threesome that could have been. It was a pretty humilating night but pretty much counts as a threesome in my books and that’s the end of my story.

Here’s Jodie Marsh and her tits.

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Party Slut

2008

Jul

Sam Ronson Blows Lohan a Kiss of the Day

7 Comments »

I like Sam Ronson. I don’t know if she’s a good DJ, but I do know she’s good at marketing herself, since Celebrity DJs who want to get paid, need a Celebrity relationship and if they really want to get noticed, it’s better to make that Celebrity Relationship as scadelous as possible with one of the most popular girls in the gossip magazines.

She went from being the rich kid sister of some music producer that only some people have heard of, to being this IT girl everyone is talking about. That’s not to say they aren’t in love, or that they don’t bump pussies, but it is to say that in order to get to that high profile relationship, she’s gotta eat a lot of shit. I am not talking about licking Lohan’s asshole, I am talking about level she has to deal with a totally unstable, drug addicted 20 year old, who doesn’t know right from left, who has been rumored to be seen talking to herself in clubs while high, and who comes from a crazy family with a spoiled cunt upbringing where she always gets what she wants, leading me to believe she’s a demanding little whore.

So here’s Sam Ronosn, trying to make a name for herself and trying to enjoy this high quality celebrity pussy, despite the herpes ourbreaks and she’s probably trapped trying to balance it all out so that she doesn’t go insane. I remember a time when I was working security at a psyh ward of a hospital and trying to control this nut cases, or convers with these nut cases put a strain on me, but I did get some of the best blowjobs in my life, but that could only be because I’d finish as fast as possible so that the crazy slut wouldn’t relapse into her memories of her countless molestations of the past and bite my dick off.

So everyone shits on her for dressing like a dude, or looking like a dude, when I don’t find anything about her all that offensive, I don’t think she looks like a man, she’s just skinny. I don’t think her style is that different than hipster chicks I see out, and the truth is I have the same watch as her. Sure I got mine in Chinatown for about 4 dollars and it doesn’t work, but it still means we have the same taste.

Either way, here are pictures of her blowing a kiss to Lohan because if she doesn’t it may upset Lohan and throw her off into some kind of bipolar rage where she fucks the cast and crew of her movie, doesn’t sleep for three days and masters the art of crying and laughing hysterically at the same time.

So enjoy these pics of Ronson walking on glass, because I am sure she’s not enjoying living this mess she’s got herself caught up inside, despite all the money she’s found herself making and the name she’s managed to put on the map.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson

2008

Jul

Hayden and Her Candies Ad of the Day

6 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere is a revolutionary. She just keeps pushing the limits despite her physcial deformities. She won’t let her l height hold her back from anything. She’s strong (really strong), she’s somehow convinced the world she’s hot, and now she’s modeling. The last person her size to be a paid model was my friend Frankie who was born with some disorder that didn’t let him break 5 foot, and dude’s modeling job was working at a loal art class as a nude subject.

Either way ripping on the little model for not being able to be a basketball player is dull, everyone does it and it’s really not even an issue. The truth is that she’s still got a pussy under all that muscle and can is hot enought to be a the subject of your carnival porn fantasies, you know get bitch jugging while spinning around on your dick like she’s on a Merry-Go-Round, and she easier on the eyes than a real midget with their big scary weird normal sized hands and thick stumpy bodies, so we should celebrate these pictures for her Candies ad campaign and not shit on them like I shat on this midget I got with sexually, because I knew it was just be happy getting love and German Scat was just hitting the scene and was something I wanted to try, and convincing other girls was almost impossible, so capitalized on the opportunity knowing that even if it tried to run away, it’d be easy to catch because of its little legs.

Posted in:Ad|Candies|Hayden Panettiere

2008

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

I am a little emotional right now. I feel rejected and inadequate. I can’t really focus on writing anything because all the great things I was going to write about just got lost in my head because I am so distraught. A telemarketer just called me, she sounded hot and I embraced the one phone call I’ve got this week and wanted to make it count. I was ready to rock that little whore because I thought she had no choice but to talk to me, since she was getting paid and wanted to make more money. She started pitching me on carpet cleaning and I kept trying to divert her attention to her pussy so that we could really get down to business and she wasn’t having it.

When she asked if I wanted my carpet washed, I told her I wanted to wash her carpet, when I cut her off and asked her if she liked my voice and if it made her feel sexy, she ignored me and went back to the pitch. I kept it going for as long as I could, I had her filling out forms because I thought the idea of closing a sale would bring out the prostitute in her, but when I admitted that I don’t have a carpet, she just hung up on me. No thanks for the good times, no goodbye, just dial tone. I feel used.

Here are my links.

New York Hotties Have Some Fun
GO

Hot Chick Belly Dancing Video
GO

Miranda Kerr is a Wallet Fucker
GO

Beautiful Losers
GO

Heidi Montag’s Fake Repulican Tits Match her Fake Repulican Lie of a Life
GO

Pam Anderson’s Pussy Eating Lunch
GO

Andy Dick Sexually Harrasses Underage Girls Proper….
GO

The All New SAW
GO

10 Hottest Female Athlete Bikini Photoshoots
GO

Hayden Panettiere is Showing Off Her Muscular Tits
GO

Sexy White Trash
GO

Rihanna’s Hot Tits Bouncing Around On Stage…
GO

Hayden Panettiere’s New Music VIdeo….
GO

The Best Stripped Ever
GO

Some Kate Hudson Gallery
GO

Jessica Alba and Her STD
GO

Nicky Hiltons Legs At Some Event
GO

Avril Lavigne and Her Mic are Like Porn…Really Bad Porn…
GO

Michael Jordan’s Cuban Model Pussy
GO

Beckham Fight in Pictures….
GO

Some Batman Dark Knight Leaked Clip You’ll Like
GO

American Apparel’s Sleaziest Amateur Porn Ad
GO

Lohan Walking Around in a Tight T-Shirt Showing Off Her Dyke Tits
GO

The Best of Harriet Carter
GO

This Will Help You Get Sex and Sex Will Make You Feel Good
GO

No Moe Fake Trick Shots
GO

Celebrity Muppet Lookalikes
GO

Tranny Shoplifter Beatdown
GO

Andy Dick Got Arrested, Because His Is Amazing
GO

Kari Sweets Does Her Laundry
GO

Aneta Keys Has Some Alone Time
GO

Dirty Teen Girl
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Lying About How Much Sex You Get is Pretty Gay
GO

Insert Obvious Joke Here
GO

Blindfolded Pool Playing Prank
GO

Miley Cyrus Licks Alot
GO

It’s a Trap!
GO

Hayden Panty-Airs Actually Doesn’t Look Like a Linebacker for Once
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Bussty Lesbians Playing Outdoors
GO

The Best Porn on the Net, Period
GO

Dude Pulls Out a Gun
GO

Paola Rey Takes Its Off
GO

I Don’t Know Who Joumana Kidd is, But She Looks Tasty
GO

Michelle Bass is Stripped Down
GO

And Now, the Best Car Ever
GO

More Prison Dancer Fun
GO

All Work and No Play….
GO

Toilet Splash Prank as Told By a Porn Star
GO

Ehhh… What is She Talking About?
GO

Natalie Cole Has Hep C
GO

Paris Hilton Tried to Bone Ronaldo because She’s So Madly in Love With the Good Charlotte Sister….He Rejected Her.
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS…

Some Young Chicks Topless Pics…
GO

Tiny Ass is Better than Big Ass Wouldn’t You Agree
GO

This is Entertaining….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Jul

Claire Danes is Skinny in a Bikini of the Day

18 Comments »

I admit, I used to watch My So Called Life, not because every depressive teenage girl who was intense and into grunge related to this bitch and I wanted to find some common ground with them to work my way into them, but because I anxiously sat by my computer hoping this bitch offed herself. It never happened.

Since then, I have been about as attracted to Cliare Danes and I have been to my wife, for obviously different reasons, one being the fact that my wife is just vile to look at, while Claire Danes just reminds me of her annoying character on her show. The one thing she does have going for her is that she’s not fat, like the eating disorder girls that once looked at her as some kind of dark misunderstood god and that should be celebrated in this fat world that we live in. So this is me doing my part to make fat chicks stop eating and to remind skinny chicks that they just aren’t skinny enough.

Posted in:Bikini|Claire Danes

2008

Jul

Some Ads Too Racy For Calvin Klein for the Gay and Vagina Owning Readers of the Day

6 Comments »

I got this email:

Ok so I have a friend at a photography studio in the East Village in New York and he sent me these pictures of Calvin Klein Model Garrett Neff that were supposed to be deleted from their server. He is their new underwear model and these pictures were too risque for CK to put in the ads. I attached them. I think your readers would love them. Enjoy!

I know that I asked for people to send in exclusive pictures and stories, and I can’t go back on that request now, but for some reason was expecting things a little dirtier in a good way and not in a way that will lead half my closet case readers into a state of confusion, arousal and shame all at the same time. Either way, I assume at least one of you 10 is a gay or a vagina and will actually enjoy them, for the rest of you, take a good look at this dude, then walk to your bathroom mirror and take a good look at yourself and understand why girls won’t bang you.

Thanks for the tip reader, you have made DrunkenStepfather take an interesting new journey into the darkside…..

Posted in:Banned Ads|Calvin Klein

2008

Jul

Gisele Bundchen’s Ass for Vagina Magazine of the

6 Comments »

A reader sent in these pictures of Gisele from V for Vagina magazine and wrote something like “I bet you’ll love this shoot” or something equally inspiring. The truth is that Gisele has too many masculine features that I know she’s got a clit the slze of my big toe and although some dudes like that, I’d rather focus my energy on someone who is more chick than dick. The funny thing in all this is that she’s on the cover of V magazine, when her V is actually less of a V and more of an M and V magazine isn’t a fashion magazine, but actually a femal genital medical journal and Gisele’s just made the cover because she’s the hybrid gender you’ve all heard about all these years, but haven’t met because you haven’t been to Southeast Asia or Brazil, where there are more lady boys per capita that any other gender.

I guess what I mean by all this is that, Gisele and her V magazine cover would go over great for Gay Pride week that hits Montreal soon, and that I can only assume I’ll see some of you who made the trek up here on the local news rockin’ the floats in the parade for the progression of your people and by progression of your people I mean lots of gay orgies. Enjoy ya’ sexual deviant.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Budchen|V Magazine

2008

Jul

Uma Thurman is a Mess in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

I decided to go out and get a sandwich and was stuck waiting in line behind what I thought was a normal fat middle aged construction worker. He turned as was looking my direction and I didn’t think anything of it. My hands were full cuz I was carrying some shit and my hair was in my eyes, in one of my gayer maneuvers, I whisked my hair back like some kind of supermodel in a beach photoshoot, unintentionally. This caught the construction workers attention and dude was staring at me straight up llike I was also some kind of bear and we were going to go fuck in the back of his pick up truck. I ignored the looks, ordered my sandwich and when I asked her to put salami on it, the motherfucker licked his lips and moaned “mmmmm, i love salami”. I didn’t know how to react so I did what any normal person would do and followed him to the bathroom to suck his dick.

No seriously, you should never turn down a hook up, but I am not inot that whole gay thing, I just ended up paying and leaving the place feeling like I had just been raped, but with a new ego boost, because if horny gay overweight construction workers want a piece, there’s bound to be a girl equally desperate out there.

Speaking of overweight dudes who like to fuck, here are some Uma Thruman pregnancy bikini pictures from the other day, because I am slow moving.

Posted in:Bikini|Uma Thurman

2008

Jul

Nereida Gallardo’s Lesbian Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

So Soccer Star Ronaldo dumped this Nereida chick a couple of days ago because he was tired of living the lie, and had to come to terms with the fact that wearing tight little shorts felt a little too good, but not as good as all those extra hours spent in the men’s locker room after the big game, letting his teammates perform hazing rituals on him to initiate him, despite not being a rookie anymore. It was more of a release for him, one that he wanted to further explore and vagina was a real downer for that…

The good news is that this Nereida chick was only with him because he was a famous and rich athlete and her free winning ride was bound to end, because dudes just don’t respect social climbing whores, will denounce men until she’s over the pain of seeing her lottery ticket ripped up before her very eyes.

At least she’ll have a famous love affair to reflect on and think about everytime the average laborer she marries crawls up on her and sticks it inside her, as dreams of her future of a life of fake tits and beach vacations turn into cleaning a modest 2 bedroom house while making pasta 4 times a week for her family to cut costs to be able to afford a modest family trip to Disneyworld…

Posted in:Bikini|Lesbian|Nereida Gallardo