I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day
Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day
Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day
Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day
Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day
Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day
Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day
Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day
Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day
Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2008

16

Jul

Uma Thurman is a Mess in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

I decided to go out and get a sandwich and was stuck waiting in line behind what I thought was a normal fat middle aged construction worker. He turned as was looking my direction and I didn’t think anything of it. My hands were full cuz I was carrying some shit and my hair was in my eyes, in one of my gayer maneuvers, I whisked my hair back like some kind of supermodel in a beach photoshoot, unintentionally. This caught the construction workers attention and dude was staring at me straight up llike I was also some kind of bear and we were going to go fuck in the back of his pick up truck. I ignored the looks, ordered my sandwich and when I asked her to put salami on it, the motherfucker licked his lips and moaned “mmmmm, i love salami”. I didn’t know how to react so I did what any normal person would do and followed him to the bathroom to suck his dick.

No seriously, you should never turn down a hook up, but I am not inot that whole gay thing, I just ended up paying and leaving the place feeling like I had just been raped, but with a new ego boost, because if horny gay overweight construction workers want a piece, there’s bound to be a girl equally desperate out there.

Speaking of overweight dudes who like to fuck, here are some Uma Thruman pregnancy bikini pictures from the other day, because I am slow moving.

Posted in:Bikini|Uma Thurman

2008

16

Jul

Nereida Gallardo’s Lesbian Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

So Soccer Star Ronaldo dumped this Nereida chick a couple of days ago because he was tired of living the lie, and had to come to terms with the fact that wearing tight little shorts felt a little too good, but not as good as all those extra hours spent in the men’s locker room after the big game, letting his teammates perform hazing rituals on him to initiate him, despite not being a rookie anymore. It was more of a release for him, one that he wanted to further explore and vagina was a real downer for that…

The good news is that this Nereida chick was only with him because he was a famous and rich athlete and her free winning ride was bound to end, because dudes just don’t respect social climbing whores, will denounce men until she’s over the pain of seeing her lottery ticket ripped up before her very eyes.

At least she’ll have a famous love affair to reflect on and think about everytime the average laborer she marries crawls up on her and sticks it inside her, as dreams of her future of a life of fake tits and beach vacations turn into cleaning a modest 2 bedroom house while making pasta 4 times a week for her family to cut costs to be able to afford a modest family trip to Disneyworld…

Posted in:Bikini|Lesbian|Nereida Gallardo

2008

16

Jul

Helen Mirren’s Got Some Big Grandma Tits in a Bikini of the Day

13 Comments »

I just made a new friend on the stoop of my apartment. He was this 20 year old dude who was just sitting there talking to himself. His conversation seemed pretty fucking intense as he was laughing loudly, and screaming, then whispering and crying, shit was like an emotional roller coaster and when I looked to see if he had his CIA blue tooth ear piece that junior executives everywhere are rockin in hopes of making their boring lives seemingly more interesting. I decided that dude was obviously talking to himself, so I figured I’d be a nice guy and strike up some conversation so he didn’t feel so alone. It was a mistake.

He went off on how he was involved in some kind of rape last night and that the woman was his friend’s girlfriend’s grandmother because he loved her fucking cookies so much. He figured if she knew how to bake so well, her pussy was probably prime and when she was passed out on her cancer meds in her room, he slipped in to slip it in her. He then started laughing hysterically and that’s when I decided to peace, because crazy people who talk about raping grandmother’s freak me out.

The truth is the only thing better than an old pussy, that can’t get pregnant because it dried up long ago, is young hot pussy on the pill, but I guess it’s a beggars can’t be choosers situation.

Here is Oscar winning Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing of the tits that made her famous and the good news is that she’s only 63 and not 80, like the big breasted senior citizen I once loved when working at the old folks home.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Mirren|Tits

2008

16

Jul

Hayden Panettiere’s Got Herself a Record Deal of the Day

6 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere figures it’s time to tap into her other talents, I am not talking about opening up a moving company or joining a carnival, I am talking about talents she thinks she has because her mom’s positive reinforcement while drunk has given her an ego and you get to experience this shit thanks to some kind of record deal.

It seems like the record industry is so fucking desperate that they are throwing deals at anyone with an already established fan base, even though they aren’t actually singers but are just hoping their creepy fans will stock up every CD and merchandise they have in hopes that shit leads to a concert tour and more music videos, because it gives them something to hope for and more content to masturbate to, because masturbation for a lonely man with an obsession for Hayden Panettiere is a sad experience that involves tears for lubrication and now bad songs to drive the point home, all over their fanboy bellies.

Either way, if I could get it up, this would be my masturbation song for the week. Not because I like Hayden Panettiere, but because I hate myself. It’s garbage and if I cared, I’d be annoyed that all these sluts of the moment think they can get their hands in everything entertainment. They are taking us all for a fuckin’ ride and making a lot of money doing it, but that doesn’t change the fact that Hayden’s song fucking sucks and so does her oversized head, broad shoulders and mutant body that could only come from fetal alcohol syndrome and loved by an alcoholic mother, which I guess kinda worked out for her.

Listen to the preview here becaue It Fucking Sucks…

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Music|Video

2008

16

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I got this email:

Dear Jesus,

I am an American first and an avid reader second. As your are probably aware, in America nothing we do is our fault, it is someone else’s fault, and my recent relapse into strippers, cocaine, and alcohol can only be the result of one thing: your blog (or whatever the hell its called). I am convinced that by you posting pictures of naked females, I am required to visit your site daily, and furthermore reading about your exotic adventures in bathrooms and college afterbar party’s complete with drugs and alcohol, I have relapsed into such behavior. Therefore, I am doing the American thing and suing your for something, I haven’t figured out what yet because I am a little high right now, but trust me, I will be looking for compensation.

Considering you are an American, I was impressed to see that you knew how to write and use email. Someone told me that 40 percent of Americans are illiterate and I thought those were the people coming to the site. Also, I embrace this lawsuit, despite it not being something high profile that would put me on the map, since you’re not Lohan, but because it means I have made a difference in someone’s life. I think everyone is so uptight in this fast paced world and forget the best times of their lives were back in college, before kids and wives and mortgages, where they’d get so fucked up they’d wake up next to girls they didn’t know and wish they never met because the stink of their pussy takes days to get out of their pubic hair.

Drugs, alcohol and strippers don’t lead to a productive life to society, but society is depressing and who needs to be productive and fit in when you’re too busy having a good fuckin’ time. Congrats on your new found life, because it sounds fun and I’ll see you in court motherfucker.

Here are my links…


Waffle House Wedding
GO

Who Wants to Bang Miley Cyrus’ Mom?
GO

Mini Bike Fun
GO

Lohan’s Tits on the Set of Her New Movie
GO

Example #34561930756 of Why Jennifer Lopez is a Supreme Cunt
GO

Catherine Zeta Jones Panty Flash
GO

Sex Scene or Murder Scene
GO

10 Funniest Home Shopping Network Bloopers
GO

Megan Fox is a Sex Jedi
GO

What Baseball League Has The Hottest Girls:
GO

Posh Spice Shows Some Skin
GO

ALICIA DOUVALL took her 12 year old daughter to a Surgeon for a boob job
GO

Sports Jerseys Body Painted on Sluts
GO

Miley Cyrus On God, Remaking “Sex And The City” And Her Purity Ring
GO

Top 10 Latino Dimes (sluts)
GO

Barbara Chiappini Like Whoa!
GO

Glued Flip Flop Prank is Pretty Rad
GO

The Best Porn on the Net, Period
GO

If Only Tuesdays Meant 2 for 1 Sluts, Like At The Movies
GO

The Best Baseball Brawls Ever
GO

Victoria’s Secret Backstage Shots
GO

Swing/Fall
GO

Cougar Coochie?
GO

Crash, Bang, Boom!
GO

Guy Gets Demolished is Fight
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Sex isn’t Really Sex if You’re Alone
GO

Pilot Training Exercise Freaks Me the Fuck Out
GO

NUDE WIMBLEDON HEGRE GIRLS
GO

Playboy’s Tiana Hunter
GO

Kahna’s Gallery
GO

Playboy Drama – Oh Shit…
GO

Pink Shops for a New Penis Attachment in SoHo
GO

WTF is Aubrey O-Day Wearing on Her Head?
GO

Eva LongWHORIA Got The Katie Holmes
GO

Tree Planting Naomi Campbell Says She’s Not a Bad Person
GO

This Will Help even Your Sorry Ass Get Laid
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Host Faints on Live TV
GO

She Finds the Hidden Camera
GO

Close Call Cop
GO

Megan Fox Lookin’ Hot @ FOX All-Star Party
GO

Oily Renata Daninsky
GO

Now Here’s a Little Pick Me Up
GO

Flavor of Love’s Bucky Talk’s About Her Sex Tape
GO

Necklace of Firecrackers
GO

HELP WANTED!
I Probably Wouldn’t Help a Handicapped Girl. Would You?
GO

Nicole Richie’s Book Is Being Made into a TV Series…Yawn
GO

Izabel Goulart in Arena Magazine
GO

Blake Lively;s Rockin’ Legs at Fox event
GO

On the Job Pussy Play
GO

Steal Change from a Vending Machine
GO

Suzanne Somers Flashes Her Panties on the Home Shopping Channel
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

The Milkiest Vagina Grossness I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Some Girl Spreading Her Ass Cheeks
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

15

Jul

Davina Taylor is Topless and Tanning of the Day

12 Comments »

I am a huge Davina Taylor fan and have been one for as long as I can remember, which is about 3 minutes. Not only is she a slut who starred on the UK Soap Hollyoaks, but she’s also the daughter of one of the richest men in the UK, she married David Beckham’s best soccer playing friend, and had a drug problem that let her to cocaine fueled sex orgies with Kate Moss and Sadie Frost and rehab and now topless tanning, something all rich girls should do once a week and send me pictures of because it reminds me of all the ways I went wrong in my life. Like watching porn until 8 am last night because I didn’t want to go to bed with my wife and had nothing better to do, unable to get hard because of the broken penis and being pretty desensitized to everything thus unable to jerk off taking away from the whole point of watching porn, and deciding to write this site instead of going to sleep making me really fucking tired right now.

Posted in:Davina Taylor|Tanning|Topless

2008

15

Jul

Haylie Duff Exclusive Pics…Unfortunately…of the Day

12 Comments »

No, despite the quality, these pictures aren’t proof that Big Foot exists and was spotted on a movie set, but they are close. They are Haylie Duff shooting in Michigan and were sent in by a reader.

I’ve been constantly bothered by paparazzi agencies the last 2 years. I can’t afford to license their pictures because I dont make money and this shit is totally outrageously priced, so I called out to readers to send in their exclusive celebrity pictures, shit doesn’t have to be recent or newsworthy, it just needs to be something I am allowed to post so that I don’t get sued and some dude from Michigan pulled through, or at least pulled through the best he could.

The surprising thing in all this is that Haylie Duff is in Michigan filming a movie, not the fact that a dude could get close enough to snap these pics of her. Haylie is so irrelevant and lost in her sister’s shadow not to mention the shadow of pretty much 80 percent of the population that is more attracctive than her that you’d think she’d jump anyone with a camera and ask them to marry her loney self because no one loves her and the fact that he took the time to shoot off some pics, is the closest thing to love she’s felt in the last 10 years.

I guess she hasn’t quite realized how useless and ugly she is yet, and hasn’t come to terms with her inadequacies as a woman, and still has hopes and dreams and an ego, but I’ll be happy when the delusions subside and reality hits her hard enough to produce anything to stand out from the crowd, like produce some pictures of herself masturbating or some shit, not that I really want to see what her vagina looks like, because it is probably as ratty lookin’ as her.

Either way, these pictures prove that she has the ability to not only be ugly in life, but also to be ugly in Michigan, but in all fairness, maybe she’s a really nice person, but I doubt it.

Posted in:Exclusive|Haylie Duff|Mini Skirt

2008

15

Jul

Denise Richards Chases the Paparazzi When Topless of the Day

15 Comments »

I know I am a couple of days late on this shit, but I am sure it hardly matters because I am hoping this isn’t a show you really stay on top of, but I think that’s giving you too much credit and forgetting the fact that you are an obsessive weirdo who can’t let go of the past and who still think Denise Richards is the hottest piece to ever to walk the earth.

I guess she still relies on sex appeal shit to get her paid, like some kind of prostitute, beause her show seems to always revolve around her running around naked, talking about being naked or like the clip above tanning topless and chasing paparazzi but this shit is so fucking staged that I feel like I am watching an episode of the Hills and knowing that paparazzi is actually a paid actor and not actually a second rate illegal immigrant who climbs trees, it ruins the potential of this clip, but not as much as the censor blur the network put over her tits. It makes me feel like a 12 year old getting my stolen porn ripped out from under my mattress by my local minister trying to guilt me into not jerking off and into hating women so that I go back to his quarters and suck him off or some shit.

If they wanted any fucking viewers of this shit, they would have realized that anyone depressed enough to watch the Denise Richard’s show, would be perverted dudes hoping to see her naked again, because in their mind, they are married her in 1994 only she doesn’t know it yet, but will appreciate their committment when she finally does meet them and hears stories of how they haven’t been with any other women in the last 14 years because their hearts belong to her. I guess it’s time for a bit of a reality check, because even she knows she isn’t what she used to be and here’s some more video of her whining about being fat to prove it and to mock any acutal fat chick who would die for her body that they are really really fatter and more disgusting than they thought before seeing this cunt.

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS WEIGHS HERSELF NUDE AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS TRIES ON BIKINIS AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS TRIES ON BIKINI AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

Posted in:Denise Richards|Topless|TV Show

2008

15

Jul

Lisa Rinna’s Got Some Hot Fake Everything of the Day

10 Comments »

Lisa Rinna likes plastic surgery more than most people and she still looks like a fucking monster to me, but seeing her tits busting out of her low cut top is enough to make me stare. Not necessarily the same kind of staring I do on the daily when girls in their summer dresses walk by me, or the kind of staring I got caught doing at some college after party I managed to crash a few months ago, that lead me to hiding in the bathroom closet watching girls roll through to pee, use coke, get busy with radoms and whatever else went on before I passed out and was found by some frat boy who tried playing the hero by getting rough with me before I sold him on the idea of putting a video camera where I was hiding because it would be good content, but more the kind of staring that happens everytime I see a retarded person limping around confused at the busy grocery story trying to use 4 year old coupons while buying their 3 bottles of coke with one hand down their shit stained inside-out pants, which has happened more than once.

Lisa Rinna is not necessarily a good thing, but is kinda entertaining when no one’s around to judge you or your freaky fetishes, like the week I spent practicing infantilism in the privacy of my own home. I was just trying to relive a childhood I never had, but quickly changed my tune when I realized there was no one there to change my diaper and I was starting to get a rash, making the whole thing pretty humilating.

Posted in:Lisa Rinna|Nipples|Plastic Surgery|Tits

2008

15

Jul

A-Rod Gets Taunted by Canadians of the Day

5 Comments »

This A-Rod scandal is retarded and I really don’t give a fuck about it, possibly because I don’t care about baseball, it’s the American National sport, not the lazy drunk self-haters sport, which is drinking myself into a stupor in a way that doesn’t really allow me to focus on a game on TV, but instead on trying to pee into the toilet bowl and not all over the floor, not that that kind of thing really matters in my shithole apartment, the other day there was a shit smeared handprint on my bathroom wall, because that’s just the kind of ghetto I am living. I also don’t give a fuck about Madonna or her muscles, or the fact that the newscaster gives his opinion on handsome men with lots of money being a real catch and how they should not get married because they have women everywhere tempting them to stray. By the sounds of it, this newscaster probably wishes A-Rod would measure his dick with his mouth, but unfortunately his dick has nothing on Madonna’s.

I guess what it comes down to is that I do think when Canadians band together for their team by harassing some cheating baseball player using his volunerable spot in hopes he will fuck up, it is a pretty obvious thing to do, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s kinda funny.

Posted in:A-Rod|Madonna