I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

07

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

My wife busted out the photoalbum this weekend to show me a glimpse of her past that I never really knew, because I am too self absorbed to care. She complained about me not giving her any attention, so I figured it was the least I could do to get her off my back.

When she started going through vacation pics from the 90s with her first husband and father of my stepdaughters, I saw that in every picture of him, dude had herpes all over his fucking mouth. Now, I never caught herpes from my wife, that I know of, mainly because I try to fuck her unless I have to and that usually happens when she pretty much rapes me and spikes my drink with viagra, and I assume she only busts a move when the coast is fucking clear, because when I asked her if she ever made out with him in that condition, she said yes and when I asked if he ever went down on her in that condition, she said yes, so when I asked her if she had herpes….she said yes.

t was great fucking news because it means I can now avoid her vagina all together and blame her for not telling me the truth when we first met around 10 years ago instead of conveniently not telling me until this past weekend. The lies that built the foundation of our union are working out in my favor and it’s time for a celebration. So here are my links….

Sluts Are As Good a Way As Any to Start Off Your Week
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Mischa Barton is the Topless Face of Some Ghetto Panty Company
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Vida Guerra Malibu Party
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Marisa Miller Leaves Little to the Imagination in this Months GQ
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Megan Fox is Now New and Improved Because She Dumped Brian-Austin Green
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Ashley Simpson’s Pregnant Pokies
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Glen Miller Sucks
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The 10 Hottest Bottle Blowjob Videos
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5 Most Awkward Kool Aid Ads
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Hayden Panettiere in Her Most Fuckable Postions Ever
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Pam Anderson Sluts Out for Her 41st Birthday of the Day
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Kanye West is Crying Again About Something or Another
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Use This to Get Sex, Because Getting Sex is Awesome and Something You Know Very Little About
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Drunk Redneck Gets His Ass Kicked and then Crys
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And That’s Why You Don’t Drink Tequila
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Find Girls to Fuck, BecauseIt’s Not Really Sex If You’re Alone
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Mila Kunis and Elisha Cuthbert Gallery
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Moron Showing Off Crashes his Motorcycle
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Meet the Lovely Audrey
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Teen Lisa Enjoys The Sun
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Hot Blonde with a Great Rack. Nuff Said
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Jeisa Chiminazzo Lookin’ Good Half Naked
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Nicole Richie Possibly Thrown Out Of Club
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The Sluts from the Hills Celebrate the 4th of July
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Madonna Stole and Brainwashed Alex Rodriguez, Says Wife
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Striptease of the Day
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The Best Porn Out There, From a Guy Who Does Nothing But Watch Porn
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Gorgeous Brunette Jaime Hammer
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Girl Cracks Head on Pavement
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Dani Woodword Gallery
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Gemma Garrett – Bikini Pics From Spain
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Least Shocking News Item of the Day. Seriously
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The Girls of the Island of Ivory
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Chuck Norris Will Kill You
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Public Access Dance
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Ruby Knox at Home
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Halle Berry is Photo Shooting
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Aniston Misses Jolie Feud, Starts Fight with Kimbo Stewart
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Fireworks Alarm Clock
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Tara Reid is Looking Rougher By the Day
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Oprah and Gayelle Take On Italy With Their Big Lesbian TIts and Stomachs…
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And Now, The Best Bikini Ever Made
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Stripper Sluts Get It On in Public
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Pick Handcuff Locks Next Time You Get Arrested
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Some Groping on the Chinese Subway
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JASMIN ST CLAIRE HAS ONE SUPER-FINE ASS … AND SHE WANTS TO RIDE YOU LIKE
A HARLEY DAVIDSON!
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Poll of the Day – Who Do You Wanna Fuck
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Top 10 Hip Hop Vixens
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Genital Mutilation Ad – Because It’s Not Just For Africa Anymore
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Wimbeldon’s Winner Rafael Nada’s Girlfriend in a Bikini
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The Mini Me Sex Tape Star Reveals Some Intimate and Creepy Details of their Sex Life
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Details of the First Gyno Vagina Spa
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Naked Chick Squatting
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Asian Vagina
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Some Big Natural Tits and Their Vaginas
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Some Fetish Lookin’ Nudity
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Naked Asian Tits and Porn
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Some Chick Posing Sexy in What Looks Like an Amateur Photoshoot
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Some Hot Black Ass and Big Ol Nippled Tits….
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Public Sex Club Let’s You Live Vicariously Through Real Exhibitionists
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BONUS – THESE GIRLS ARE DRUNK AND EASY IF YOU’RE IN ED HARDY
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

07

Jul

Mya Rockin’ a Bikini of the Day

I made friends with a black dude outside some hotel lobby. He was drunk and talking to every 18 year old girl who walked into the place. He’d tell them that he liked their dress or that they were beautiful and kept this up for about 30 minutes to different groups of girls, always singling out the ugliest one in the group. He started chatting me up. He was freaking out about all this young pussy and told me that he was laying the groundwork. He saaid that girls are hooked on black dudes and that all girls want a daddy. Since he was in his 50s, he was working that angle.

The next thing I know, I am in the hotel bar with the dude, who is buying me drinks and all these hot young girls rush him because he was so nice to them when they walked in and was a familiar face amongst all the chachi losers with bottles of Grey Goose trying to bag them.

Within 10 minutes, this friendly older guy these girls were running to for safety is making out with almost every one he spoke to walking in. They were all taking turns with him, so while 10 girls are crowded around him waiting for a turn, I’m confused to shit as to what I am experiencing.

The bad news was that I didn’t get the spillover of girls he didn’t want, because he wanted all of them, but I did get to see some ass and titties as dude playfully lifted and pulled down their dresses for me. He only to get a friendly slap on the shoulder by the girls he pretty much violated as to say “oh Mr Old Strange Pervert Black Man, You’re So Silly”, knowing that if I did it, I’d get arrested so I ended up leaving because the world is not fair.

I guess that has nothing to do with Mya in a bikini since she’s not young, and hot anymore buy I guess she’s black enough to remind me of my new friend who I will never see again….

Posted in:Bikini|Mya

2008

07

Jul

Elisabetta Canalis in a Brown Bikini of the Day

Here’s some decent looking European chick in a barely there bikini, because Europe knows how to do things when it comes to having half naked girls running around in public. It’s something I like to think is fighting obesity and could be the reason why they aren’t as fat as the USA. Maybe if America switched up the laws and weren’t so conservative, making topless legal, wearing tops would make chicks feel awkward, different, out of style and unattractive, they would second guess eating that extra Big Mac and would try to get in shape so that they could be like everyone else.

The truth is that the fat Americans I’ve seen have totally accepted that they are big, they blamed it on genetics and not on themselves or the fact that they eat more calories in a day than a devoloping village in a third world country does in a month, with all their snacks, deserts and fast food restaurants on every corner making them too busy eating in front of the TV to be exercising, meaning that they would get topless too without realizing how disgusting they are, making American beaches a scene from a fucking horror movie and not the kind of horror movie I jerk off to, so maybe it’s just better that instead of changing laws to get girls naked they US Government is focusing on killing arabs.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

07

Jul

Sandra Bullock’s Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

There is nothing less attractive than an insecure girl, except for maybe a fat girl, but for the most part seeing insecure chicks turns me off so much that bitch grows a penis in my imagination and becomes off limits even when I am drunk.

I am not talking about insecurity on an emotional level, where she is looking for acceptance and love through suckin’ dick, I am talking insecure about her body so that she doesn’t get naked, wears t-shirts to the beach and makes you fuck her with the lights off. And when you want to jump in the shower with her dumpy body you’ve learned to accept because it is fucking you and that’s better than all the other girls who aren’t fucking you, she turns you away and asks for privacy because she doesn’t like you seeing her from uncomplimentary angles. It even happens with skinny chicks and shit’s fuckin’ ugly, but not as ugly as Sandra Bullock, who we should all thank for covering herself up, because I am sure there’s nothing down there we want to see. Even her boyfriend/husband/mechanic is lookin’ at her surong thanking her for helping him forget what he is currently fucking to allow him to remember what he once was fucking.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Sandra Bullock

2008

07

Jul

Ellen Degeneres and Her Topless Lesbian Portia De Rossi of the Day

Here are the lesbian pictures that will end all lesbian fantasies because they are of Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi. The funny thing about Ellen is that everyone freaked out when she came out of the closet, like it was so fucking shocking. For the first 2 years that her show was on TV, I thought bitch was actually a dude played by David Spade and assumed Ellen was the name of the town they were living in. When I found out that she was actually a chick and that she was a lesbian, I was pretty much unphased because the only thing gayer than fuckin’ Ellen is a pair of bicycle shorts. The truth is that Ellen is such a lesbian they have a pair of construction boots and flannel named after her.

I don’t really believe in lesbianism, because I know all girls need dick and the only girls who denounce it are ugly, masculine and dudes don’t want them or rape/molestation victims who are scared of dick because it hurt them when they were 10. Lesbian couples are just like 2 best girl friends who sometimes lick each other’s pussies and help each other masturbate because it’s the nice thing to do and not because they are in love, they are just misguided to believe that their intense caring for each other is something sexual and more than the intense caring they have for their other friends, so when I first heard about this relationship I thought Portia was just out for a publicity stunt since no one knew who she was but has really pulled through and committed to Ellen for the long haul, but after seeing these pictures of her tits, I am a firm believer that they are something onlyanother woman could appreciate, since women are constantly telling each other how beautiful each they are, even when the person on the receiving end is 300 pounds, proving that women are far more accepting and lenient on their measure of beauty than me. I guess I am just an asshole..

Posted in:Ellen Degeneres|Make Out|Portia De Rossi|Topless

2008

07

Jul

Caroline D’Amore’s Beach Cameltoe of the Day

I have met Pizza Restaurant owner Caroline D’Amore, because that’s just the quality of “celebrity” this site puts me in contact with and in reality shit had absolutely nothing to do with this site, and more to do with my alcoholism. This is the story.

It was a Wednesday and I was looking for something to do and this guy I knew invited me to some celebrity DJ event at a chachi bar, where there was no cover charge and where he would be buying bottles of vodka because there was some kind of deal at the bar because it was mid-week.

The DJ was Caroline D’Amore and I thought I had never heard of her, so I went because I was in the mood to get drunk and have a good laugh. After a bunch of drinks, this skinny, Celine Dion lookin’ girl gets up behind the turntables, which happened to be right next to my friends table and I start listening to her set.

I don’t DJ and don’t know much about DJing, but knew that this bitch was killing every single mix, making each song sound like it was violently raping the next song while she did that Paris Hilton dance behind the turntables. I started laughing and made faces at her and she was starting to notice and obsess over me and my mocking. Within 10 minutes of my pointing and ridiculing her, she turns to the club promoter and calls him over, tells him that she’s quitting her set about 20 minutes into it and when he asked why, she points at me and says I am being an asshole and lauging at her.

I find the whole thing amazing, until the promoter and his pussy security make a circle around me and threaten to beat me up and kick me out for fuckin’ with Caroline and Caroline decides to get involved and tell me how much of an asshole I am. I deny because I don’t need to really drive the point home, bitch already quit her set and I take her aside, tell her about my site and that I was just teasing to get her attention because I have a crush on her and tease girls I crush on because I have the same level of game as a ten year old.

It turns out she knew about the site and said that I had written about her cameltoe in the past , I told her that I didn’t remember but that I fucking love cameltoe and that she should keep bringing the goods, she gave me a hug, forgave me for mocking her and left me. Since then, she has continued her DJ career, while I continue my cameltoe blogging, never to cross paths again, but the fact that she knew the site made me forget that she sucked as a DJ and made me a fan, even if only for 5 minutes and mainly because I wanted to get invited back to her hotel to watch her shower, but that didn’t happen. What has happened is that everytime she’s been back to Montreal, she’s made a point of not emailing me or inviting me out to her event or to grab some pizza and I feel pretty rejected about the whole thing because I thought we were friends, but at least I can still post about her vagina tightly wrapped in a bathing suit. No one can take that away from me.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Cameltoe|Caroline D'Amore

2008

07

Jul

Some Cheryl Burke Bikini Pictures of the Day

I always had this idea that dancers were these lean, borderline anorexic lookin’ chicks in tights, before actually going to a local dance school’s dance performance because my stepdaughter gave me a free ticket. I figured getting down to watching teenage girls dancing and not getting naked in the process would be a nice change of pace from what I was used to. I was wrong. Every single girl who came out with her hip hop choreographed Britney Spears backup dancer shit was built like a fucking tank and seeing hot chicks in booty shorts shaking their asses wasn’t really an option, because there were no hot chicks, just these thick, strong Hayden Panettiere chicks squating, popping and locking in some kind of seizure inducing dance battle.

The point is that Cheryl Burke is also a dancer, but not the good kind you want to give 10 dollars a song to, and a thick kind you want to hire to help you move because she’s more fit than any of your deadbeat friends, and here she is in a bikini, showing off her thick dance muscles.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Burke|Dancing With the Stars

2008

07

Jul

Jennifer Lopez in Her July 4th Bikini of the Day

I never understood the hype about J.Lo’s ass, it always confused me that the world would be drawn to some bottom heavy slut, and make her insanely rich in the process.

Here she is fatter than she used to be and rockin’ a bikini. She was hoping no one would notice so she tried to throw in the mirrored bikini to blind the paparazzi cameras and figured if that didnt work, the reflection of her husbands scary white legs would do the trick, what she didn’t realize is that he’s too sickly thin to really do much distracting and actually turns invisible when the flash is on. I guess none of that matters, because you still have a thing for this whore who has openly had many dicks and no one’s ever called her out on it. I guess it’s just a middle class Peurto Rican from the bronx, going through an identity crisis all in hopes that the real hispanic population don’t catch on to the fact that she’s full of shit and is whiter than McCain.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Lopez

2008

07

Jul

Jim Carey Makes a Joke With Jenny McCarthy’s Bathing Suit of the Day

Jenny McCarthy and her long lost Canadian relative, who I assume she doesn’t know is her relative and decided that the connection she felt the first time she met him was love at first sight, when in reality it was just on some genetic level. It’s like when you met a cousin from another country for the first time and you just hit it off immediately because you have the same grandparents, only in this case you give them your genitals, instead of a gift certificate to Starbucks for Christmas. Leaving the rest of the world looking in amazement and wondering if you’re related or if it is just a coincidence that you look like you’re twins while making out with each other in public. I guess we’ll all just have to wait for the flipper baby to know the truth and I am not talking about that Autistic shit McCarthy is up on already, that baby’s from a previous marriage.

I never found Jim Carey funny, I actually kinda hated him up until recently. He’s just this clown of a person who tries too hard to get a laugh and looks like an asshole while doing it. He reminds me of some cocksucker in my class who would never shut the fuck up in his antics and annoyed everyone until he got beat up enough that his spirits and jokes just stopped, leaving him down and out and reclusive in a dark corner, going from the annoying life of the classroom to the weird kid in the corner no one notcies, that is until one day he decides to take out his rage on the world and stages a school shooting.

But I have to admit, this stunt where he decided to put on Jenny McCarthy’s bathing suit to fuck with the paparazzi/public and get a laugh was pretty clever and reminds me a lot of this closet case who would always suggest we do the gayest things because it would be funny and for the sake of comedy. When he’d run around in ladies clothing, make-up and show a serious interest in Brad Pitt, we could pass shit off as a joke, but it got out of hand when he told me that we would really mess with our girlfriends at the time if they walked in on us sucking each other off. I didn’t really get the joke but he came back at me aggressively, because he thought I was ruining his joke and said that it would only really be funny if we timed it perfectly and the second they walked into the room expecting us to be playing videogames, I’d be cumming all over his face instead. It’d be a real fuckin’ knee slapper.

Sure, I was complimented that he thought I was worthy to take part in his joke, but I didn’t see much funny about letting him suck me off, it was just a little gay….

Either way, Jenny McCarthy’s body looks tight.

Posted in:Bikini|funny|Jenny McCarthy|Jim Carey

2008

04

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email:

“Judaism isn’t a race it’s a religion”

I always thought that you were an asshole, but kind of one of those quite intelligent assholes whose spelling, punctuation and grammar are still pretty good, you know? But this quote shows that you’re actually a dumb asshole. Judaism is a race. It’s what the people of Judah were called. Judah being an Israelite tribe. Some Jews (most? I don’t know) follow the national Jewish religion of the same name.

So calling Jewish girls ugly isn’t just anti-religious, its also racist.

Also, good joke about sending nudes. Haven’t heard that one before. Throw in a few about how mothers have busted vaginas or virgins getting laid, and you’ve got the full, tediously predictable Drunken Stepfather package.

My response:

Thanks for the email! It’s a real gas. Kinda like the Holocaust.

I am a firm believer when you dig your own grave, there’s no harm in diggin’ it deeper and deepr and deeper and deeper….. truth is some of my people are Jews.

Sluts to Help You Start Your Weekend The Best Way You Can
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The Classiest Piece of Pussy at the Party
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Half Pipe Face Plant
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Some Eastern European Named Susana Wants You to Get Off Your Fat Ass
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Lohan is 22 and Really, Really Gay
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Oksana Andersson Topless
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Crappy 4th of July
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Hayden Panettiere Close Up Pussy Shot
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Mandy Moore’s TIts FIght The Wind
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The 10 Hottest Topless Sunbathing Movie Scenes
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Who Would You Rather Do Because America is Awesome Edition…
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Hulk Hogan is Stalking Linda Logan
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Faceplant Off Swing
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Sam’s Butt Rocket
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How an M1 Tank Gets Past an Iraqi Taxi Cab
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Thongs and Wet T-Shirts
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Tiffani Amber Fresh Face of Playboy
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Nice Amateur Gallery
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Find Girls to Fuck and Don’t Die a Virgin
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Cindy Brady is Wasted
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Fun With Triplets
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Celebratory Hand Job
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Herika Noronha Gallery
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The Top Ten Best Boobs in Hollywood
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Miley Cyrus Wants to Be Like Madonna
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Mandy Moore Post-Breakup Shopping
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Madonna Hates Guy Ritchie
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Christina Applegate’s Boyfriend Found Dead
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Fireworks Versus Man
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Some Wrestling Dude Named Tommy Dreamer’s Wife Showing Her Pussy
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Striptease of the Day
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Hot Spanish Babe Barbie Griffin
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Use This and Get Laid
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Some Selena Spice For You Virgin Ass
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Party Chick Gets Groped
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HD Glasses
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Solange Knowles Has Some Major Man-Face Issues
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Lee Celebrates the 4th of July By Getting Naked
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Live Vicariously Through These Club Sluts
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Krystal Forscutt in Zoo
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Crackheads Need Food Too
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Adriana Lima is Amused
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Got Ass?
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The World’s Wheeliest Wheelie
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McDonald’s in Japan
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Playboy Babe – Stephanie Martin
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Sluts That Make Staying At Home Alone Not So Bad
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Spy Cam in the Lounge
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Make a Bomb With Toilet Cleaner
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Fuck Team Five Brings Out the Fun in Team Work
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Posted in:stepLINKS