I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I just got back from the Sean Paul, Wyclef, Akon, Kardinal Offishal concert because the people running the Kardinal Offishall show decided to be nice enough to hook me up with 2 tickets and actually stuck to their word, something that never happens for me. That may not mean much to you, but no one ever gives me shit and I was happy to invite this hot 18 year old piece of ass I met at Starbucks to acompany me.

If you care, Wyclef stole the fuckin’ show, I had never seen someone rock a crowd so hard, Akon brought the trashy stripper looking bitches and made them all fuckin’ drippy as fuck because they all find him dreamy, so dreamy that I think the girl next to me actually got fuckin’ pregnant and the normal smell of weed you smell at a concert was heavily over-taken by the smell of wet wet pussy. I didn’t get laid, no one threw their bras or panties at me, but I got street cred and it felt like I am actually relevant so thanks to Kadinall Offishall for that self-esteem boost.

If you have no idea who Kardinall Offishall is, he’s the one rapping in that number 1 tune you’ve probably heard on the radio called Dangerous.

Either way, I am late on the links and here they are.

Watch a Whole Lot of Puking VIdeos
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Shauna Sand Bleeds Pure Elegance
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Some Video From Kim Kardashian’s Birthday That You Weren’t Invited To
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Some Slut Showing Off Her Tight Body
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Not Sure Who Jo Champa is, But Here Are Her Nipples
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Melanie Brown Pokies
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Messing with Drivers Ed Part 2
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Megan Fox Endorses FIJI Water Because She’s The Wettest Pussy Around…
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20 Greatest Celebrity Athlete Couples of All Time.
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Video of Hot Models in Thongs
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The Women of the 2008 Euro
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Brooke Hogan’s Shaved Pussy?
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Ali Lohan’s Teaches Us About Love…
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Marilyn Manson Gets His Wig Ripped Off and is Actually Bald and Runs Away Like a Scared Girl…This is Some Fascinating Shit I Cover Here….
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Trojan Slips a Cum Shot into an Ad
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Mary Kate Olsen Is Back in Rehab….
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Wal Mart Sells Funny Racist Kids Books
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Funny VIdeo of a Dude Fucking With a Telemarketer You’ve Probably Already Seen….
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Natasha Polevshchikova is Wearing Lingerie
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Porn, What is it Good For?
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Kelly Kayne – Stripper Pole Lessons
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Web Sluts Are The Only Sluts That Will Talk yo You, So Here They Are
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Find Girls To Fuck Because Dying a Virgin is Pretty Sad Dude
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How NOT to Fake a Heart Attack
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More Slip N Slide Fun
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a Bunch of Pre Knocked Up Gwen Stefani Pics
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Liz Vicious and Raven Riley
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Some Big Titted MILF from Phoenix
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Say Hello To Luba
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Let’s Hope This Ends in a Murder Suicide…
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The A-Rod and Vadge-onna Drama Continues
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Rhianna and Her Legs Are On Spanish Idol
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CoCo is All Kind of I Don’t Know What
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Striptease of the Day
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Horny fetish lesbians
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Drunk Girl Slams Her Head Against the Wall
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Redneck Water Slide
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Use This to Get Sex, Because We All Know You Ain’t Getting Shit in Terms of Pussy
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Darwin Award Dimwits
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The World’s Most Painful Dildo
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Uhhhh..Praise the Lord?
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Take a Tumble
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Sweet Sweet Demi
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The Golden Porsche
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Mrs. Brady Knows Best
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Japanese Earthworm Man is Actually a Robot
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Brigette Neilson is Getting a Full Body Tear Down
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Behind the Scenes of Tropic Thunder
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Mary-Kate Back to Rehab?
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A Nice Dose of Net Hotties
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All Access to BAnned Celebs Awaits You
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You Never Know Who is Watching
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Taser Your Friends With a Hacked Camera
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

09

Jul

Hilary Duff’s Ass Fucks Hockey Players of the Day

Here are some pictures of Hilary Duff bending over for her hockey playing boyfriend while shopping. It’s called the baboon style of seduction where her cunt inflames and secretes disgusting smells that only a horny, testosterone filled animal would appreciate. There’s pretty much nothing hot about her, except for maybe the fantasies of what she can do with her little dog she carries around, shit’s like a live-action sex toy and a lot more luxurious than the 2 fingered vibrator that I got my wife for our first wedding anniversary, it was a lot more expensive back then and it turned out obsolete, because my wife needed 6 fingers to fill her and I just didn’t have that kind of budget or interest in making it happen.

Bonus -Some Pictures of the Hockey Couple from a Couple Days Ago….

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Hockey Players

2008

09

Jul

Selma Blair and Her Legs Do TRL of the Day

Selma Blair was on TRL yesterday and she has pretty hot skinny legs, and that’s really the only reason I am posting these pictures, because I just found out that she is 36 years old. I thought she was in her 20s and I was wrong, it happens. Like the time I was drunk and watching fetish porn really loud and the police came to investigate because they got complaints that a girl was being violated or hurt in my apartment. They asked to look around and I let them in because I hadn’t been raping any girls and was just wathing girls getting raped and I told them that the only illegal activity I was doing that day was a lot of cocaine and pointed to my 8 ball. It lead to me getting arrested for cocaine possession, but I got off because they didn’t have a warrant. Those were pretty much my glory days.

Posted in:Legs|Selma Blair

2008

09

Jul

Heidi Klum Licking Ice Cream of the Day

I tried to convince a teenage girl to let me film her eating her Dairy Queen soft serve the other day. I told her that I wanted to put it on the internet and make her famous, at first she was excited about it, but then I accidentally tried selling her on the fact that tons of old men would totally be jerking off to it, something I probably should have kept to myself until after we made the video.

The truth is that getting off to a girl eating ice cream is pretty fucking desperate. It’s the shit pedophiles do everytime they go to the ice cream parlor to scope out hot new pussy (literally) multiple times a day and it seems pretty fucking creepy to do when you’re older and watching girls your own age do that shit. You all think it’s this whole simulated blowjob shit, but we all know if Heidi was really trying to show us how she sucks cock, she would have chosen chocolate ice cream.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Ice Cream|Licking

2008

09

Jul

Maria Beatriz Antony is a Topless and Bikini Wearing Soccer Girlfriend of the Day

I was walking down the street the other day and saw what looked like a scene from West Side Story, not that I’ve ever seen West Side Story, but because I know it’s some kind of immigrant gang wars and that’s the shit I was in the middle of yesterday, only instead of fighting over a chick or drugs, these dudes were fighting over soccer.

A group of one set of immigrants with a soccer ball wearing soccer jersey were walking, and these other immigrants who were sitting on a stoop screamed out “You are going for the wrong team, Espania for life”, now I know the Euro ended at least a week ago, but these motherfuckers are so jacked on the shit that I was either expecting them to break into some gay song and dance to express their passion for the sport like normal homosexuals who like watching sweaty men run around with balls, or cut each other. None of that happened.

I guess what it comes down to is that if you’re a working class immigrant with 10 kids you made sure were born in this country, and you spend most of your time at work to make less than minimum wage, only to come home that is barely a home because you all sleep in one room, to an annoying immigrant wife and her shitty rice and bean meals she made because it’s all you can afford, where you fall asleep to memories of your beautiful country and villa that you still own out there but can’t afford a plane ticket to move back, because you were an idiot who fell for the lie that you were moving to the land of opportunity and actually moved to the land of poverty and worse living and working conditions than the third world you love so much, soccer is a good distraction. I just prefer alcohol, it’s more numbing.

Here is some soccer player’s hot immigrant girlfriend topless and in a bikini beause the irony of it all is that soccer players land good fucking vagina, even though soccer is a girl’s sport played by dudes with the gayest haircut and locker room stories I’ve ever heard.

Posted in:Maria Beatriz Antony|Soccer|Topless Bikini

2008

09

Jul

Rihanna Hosts Parties with Her Boyfriend of the Day

I don’t understand this hosting party bullshit that’s blowing up internationally. It’s like these club promoters pay insane prices for celebrities to spend about an hour in their club in some roped off booth, where the celebrities barely drink and fuck right off as soon as their obligations are met. They don’t actually party at the club, they don’t sign autographs, they just walk in and out. I heard that when Rihanna and Chris Brown were here, the were paid about 50,000 dollars for a fuking hour or two and the club was so excited with how successful the event was. They thought it put them on the fuckin’ map or some shit and all the people who were there actually felt like they parited with a famous person, leading me to believe the world is retarded.

The truth is that I am just jealous, because it would be a dream job for me to to be brought into host an event and annoy the patrons in places I normally can’t get into. It’s kinda what I do with myself anyway only I don’t get paid for the shit and usually end up kicked out. I would not only would I happily finish the free booze I was offered, but I’d also host the event for the free booze and no fee making me very affordable. I’d try to fuck all the groupies lookin in on mye but the main problem with this plan is that no one gives a fuck about me and even if they did, the places I’d get asked to host would be places you’d get raped or murdered at.

I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Rihanna and Chris Brown are fucking and she looks good enough to me in her silver dress.

Posted in:Parties|Rihanna

2008

09

Jul

Some New J.Lo Bikini Pics of the Day

I saw a teenage pregnant girl and her teenage baby daddy walking down the street. It was funny because I could tell that dude refused to pay for her abortion because he wanted to buy an ounce of weed instead and was having second thoughts, like the time I spent the allowance my wife gave me on a wooden statue of Jesus at a garage sale, which seemed like a great idea, until I brought it home and realized that I didn’t have any booze for the next week. I could tell that dude was going to run as fast as he fuckin’ could when the baby took it’s first breath and for some reason, that made me happy.

About 5 minutes later, I saw a hot mom, she was carting around a couple of kids and was dressed like a classy escort in short shorts and a cleavage shirt, obviously she successfully bounced back from her pregnancy. I guess she missed all the attention boys used to give her before she gave up her uterus to some rich guy for a secure future and a benz. J.Lo wasn’t quite as lucky with that, but here are some pictures of her in her bikini from the other day, from some new angles for you J.Lo fans.

Posted in:Bikini|J.Lo

2008

09

Jul

Angelina Jolie is an Unwilling Spokesperson of the Day

Someone took this picture of some ghetto Chinese imported weight loss product that you probably get Cancer when you take, explaining your suddenly attractive new figure as you rot away from the inside out, only to take a bloody shit filled with your organs to really know it’s working. It’s one of those feel the burn situations that is all in the name of beauty. The reason I am posting it is because Angelina Jolie is photoshopped onto their packaging, like she was actually paid the retarded money she commands for this kind of spokesperson shit, but by lookin’ at the funny packaging that is written better than anything on this site, you know that she wasn’t.

My local stripclub that uses a picture of Adriana Lima on all it’s ads and lap dance menus, which makes sense because I hear getting naked is the only way out of Brazil and after enough drinks, the haggard low budget strippers who work there will start lookin’ like her. I guess it’s all the power of marketing, but I know that shit’s also unauthorized and ripping off celebrities gives is more satisfying than dropping 50 dollars to grab a pair of saggy tits.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Unwilling Spokesperson

2008

09

Jul

Cindy Brady Pukes from a Hangover in a Radio Interview of the Day

Here is a funny video that you can probably relate to of the actress who played Cindy Brady hungover during some morning radio show where she excuses herself to go puke, all in front of her 10 year old son. When asked why she did this, she said that she drank too much wine the night before, that she isn’t a drinking and that if she didn’t excuse herself, she would have puked all over the radio hosts faces, something that may turn on my 1 Asian friend who I recruited at a Chinese restaurant because he started talking to me about how amazing of an eater my wife was. I am hungover everyday, the only time I puked was after drinking a bottle of Triple Sec or some other obscure drink you aren’t supposed to drink, but do because you are an alcoholic and it’s the only thing around. I don’t frown on hangovers or drinkers and think Cindy Brady, despite not really being around anymore, is my kind of star. Today, I feel a lot less guilty about jerking off to her braces filled mouth while watching Very Brady reruns.

Posted in:Cindy Brady|Hangover|Pukes

2008

09

Jul

Nadal’s Girlfriend Named Xisca Rocks a White Bikini of the Day

Nadal just won Wimbeldon, that probably means he made a lot of money for a week’s work and here he is relaxing with his Spanish girlfriend named Xisca, something you probably can’t pronounce because it’s too foreign to you. The truth is that landing hot pussy when you’re this dude is probably not all that challenging, and instead of looking at him in envy, like you’re some kind of loser, you should take a moment to give the heroes in your life some credit for the shit they’ve accomplished.

The most recent hero in my life is my neighbor. No, he didn’t kill my wife. He did however fuck the system and hasn’t had electiricity for the last 6 months because dude’s a fucking hurtbag. Tonight, I walked in only to find an extension cord running form the hallway outlet and despite it taking him 6 months to figure out, I thought it was a good fucking strategy to save a couple of dollars. The real impressing thing in all this is that he still manages to bring home hot fuckin’ pussy when he’s wasted and despite walking into a pitch black shit hole of an apartment, they still end up fucking him. I guess they feel like they are camping or have that help a guy while he’s down mentality that every girl I’ve ever slept with also had, but the point of all this is to say that if you’re fucking broke and still getting laid, you’re someone who deserves more love than some light on his feet tennis player.

Posted in:Nadal|White Bikini|Xisca