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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

May

Bai Ling’s Manhandled Nipple Slip of the Day

4 Comments »

It turns out that I am not much of a people person. I was walking by a hair salon earlier today and saw some 18 year old crying in the entrance. I asked her what the problem was and she told me that she was being ripped off by the owner of the hair salon, who told her the dye job would cost 100 dollars and the last time she got it done it cost 80 but was willing to pay the difference.

When she went to pay he dropped a 200 dollar bill on her and she couldn’t pay it because she only had the 100 dollars and he wasn’t letting her leave. I decided to try my hand at negotiation by pretending I was her dad and that I wasn’t going to stand for them ripping her off. I figured if I played the hero she would invite me to her teenage sex parties so that I could see what Oprah was talking about.

Either way, I tell the dude she’s only got 100 dollars on her, she was told it was 100 dollars and now they are demanding more out of her and she’s just not going to pay because it’s unethical. I told the dude that he was a con artist and even 100 dollars for a hair dye job was fuckin’ crazy and I should have expected it from a Moroccan snake oil salesman. Dude got fuckin’ mad, raised his voice, banned me from his hair salon and said if he was a conartist why would have such a strong clientele. To which I responded that he caters to his mother’s Moroccan synagogue group who support him to save face and have too much disposable income because their husbands give it to them to keep themselves occupied since they have nothing better to do and think it makes their ugly Moroccan faces look better all while they are out fuckin’ younger non-Morrocan bitches because everyone knows Moroccans are the scum of the earth.

He was still not willing to change the price on the poor girl and called the police or fake called the police like a little bitch who puts more importance on money than on being a good person. I always heard that Moroccan’s were the sleaziest money grubbing motherfuckers out there but thought that a Moroccan Jew who sucks penis would be different. I was wrong. Either way, the girls friend came and paid the difference for her, we all went our separate ways, and I wasn’t the hero.

I figured these pictures of Bai Ling were appropriate since they are of a big brown man – man-handling her even as her tit falls out of her bikini like he just doesn’t give a fuck about her, because he doesn’t, he just cares about the money.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Manhandled|Nipple Slip

2008

May

From the Forum of the Day

4 Comments »

So the Forum still hasn’t be shut down, but probably will be. It’s just that crazy. Here’s some shit going on up in that bitch that can get you through the rest of your day because it will give you the illusion of having a voice of your own in this big scary world while hiding behind a computer. It’s the internet way.

Check it out.

———Music———

Bruce Springsteen – Nebraska
GO

Eve’s Plum
GO

Spoon – Gimme Fiction
GO

The Power Station
GO

ET Soundtrack
GO

Mystikal – Let’s Get Ready
GO

Ratt
GO

Flesh-N-Bone — 5TH DOG LET LOOSE
GO

Meat Loaf – 3 Bats live
GO

Flashback: The Best of .38 Special
GO

Corinne Bailey Rae
GO

Ringo Starr – Liverpool 8
GO

Chris Whitley – Soft And Dangerous Shores
GO

Leona Lewis – Twilight
GO

Puddle of Mudd – Abrasive
GO

———Comedy Albums———

Rodney Carrington- Greatest Hits
GO

———Celebs———

Rachel Bilson and her dog visit a cafe
GO

Paris Hilton in GQ
GO

Shakira and her Ass
GO

More Shakira
GO

Rihanna has an Ass
GO

Eva Mendes in Panties
GO

———Porn———

Boob Flashing
GO

Playb*y’s College Girls
GO

Real Vida Guerra Nudes
GO

Slutty Dee pours milk all over her naked body
GO

Nudes or Fakes?
GO

———E-books———

Encyclopedia of Foods
GO

Crimeware: Understanding New Attacks and Defenses
GO

The Complete Aquarium guide
GO

PhotoReading
GO

Web Marketing for Dummies
GO

———Software———

ArcSoft TotalMedia Extreme
GO

Trick Style
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

Street Kings
GO

UFC 51, 43, and 31
GO

———Sex Talk———

This guy will die of AIDS no matter what the tests say
GO

Posted in:Forum

2008

May

Liz Hurley’s Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are Liz Hurley’s tits. I am sick of writing about tits. I am also sick of other people writing about tits. There is more to life than celebrity tits and obsessing over them in virginal writing.

I have always preferred grabbin and suckin’ tits than talkin about tits or obsessing over tits because talking about tits and obsessing over tits reminds me of the group of loser dudes on their couch together watching movies while everyone else is at the high school orgy eating high school pussy.

Either way, here are Liz Hurley’s tits.

Posted in:Hot Tits|Liz Hurley

2008

May

Tori Spelling’s Got Some Hot Mom Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

One of the stranger things that I remember from TV in the nineties was trying to make sense of Tori Spelling’s breast dent after her dad bought her a set of tits on 90210. I think it had to do with her being pigeon chested like this dude I know who was born pre-mature to a drug and alcohol addicted mother and grew up to have the weirdest shaped borderline crippled body that lead to him wearing numerous braces and harnesses so that he wouldn’t fall apart when he banged his wife. She told me it was like fucking a cyborg…a very frail asthmatic cyborg.

One of the stranger things that I remember since the nineties is that some meal ticket motherfucker actually got it on with Tori Spelling to the point of knockin’ her up twice. That’s about the level of knocking up, where using the “I was drunk” excuse doesn’t fly.

I’d still bang her and her saturated womb, but that’s cuz she’ll always be the virgin on 90210 for me and I kinda have a crush on virgins. The truth is that I don’t actually like virgins because they are either too young or too socially awkward but I pretend I do for the sake of posts, that’s just how versatile I am.

Posted in:Hot|Tits|Tori Spelling

2008

May

Natasha Hamilton Performing

2 Comments »

Natasha Hamilton is the Ginger Haired from Atomic Kitten who’s camp fire vagina makes you want to roast mashmallows instead of have sex. This is her in some pub in her hometown dressed like a jackass with a bunch of other jackasses doing some jackass performance because clearly her Atomic Kitten career hasn’t been as lucrative as she hoped and she’s trying to make ends meet. I have nothing more to say about this pictures and that’s why I decided to write John Tesh another email.

Dear John Tesh,

I wrote you yesterday, but didn’t hear back from you. I am actually pretty hurt that I went out of my way to reach out and was just ignored like a second rate citizen. I tell myself that it’s probably because you get tons of email, but I think that it’s because you have it out for me. Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.

I read on your site that you can get a much better sleep if you wear your socks to bed. I decided to try it out, because in my youth I used to sleep with a condom on to protect my goods in the dirty sheets I would sleep on. It didn’t help much mainly because it constantly slipped off due to my lack of girth.

I mentioned yesterday that I am pretty poor so I don’t own any socks, but figured I’d try using plastic bags that I got a few weeks ago while collecting cans out of the garbage on the side of the street. The sound of their ruffling kept me up, despite being completely inebriated and I woke up with a pretty disgusting rash. Since I don’t have medical insurance, I figured I’d reach out to you, since you got me in this mess in the first place, and ask if you have any advice to make it go away. Do you think it is just an allergic reaction or could it be something more serious that I caught from wearing dirty bags like the Flesh Eating Disease, Lupus or even Aids.

I hope you can find the time in your busy schedule to get back to me on this,

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Natasha Hamilton|Ridiculous

2008

May

Gemma Atkinson in Her Red Bikini For Communism in Cuba of the Day

6 Comments »

Here’s some Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pictures from Cuba, where she’s enjoying the friendly people, the beautiful beaches and the warm Caribbean Ocean, something that you’ll never be able to do because you government hates Cuba and has been trying to make them go bankrupt the last 50 years in hopes of taking the motherfuckin’ place over and turning it into a Peurto Rico or Hawaii.

I know that I wouldn’t be so down or so quick to call myself the land of the free when the government will arrest me if I step foot into a resort island that everyone else in the fuckin’ world has been enjoying for affordable vacations all these years. I know some people who have spent some time in Cuba and when I ask them how it was they all say amazing because there were no Americans, so maybe it’s better for the rest of the world that you stay the fuck out of Cuba, I’ve seen what happens when you visited Iraq and that kind of behavior would probably discourage chicks to tan with their fatty tits.

Either way, here’s Gemma with her retarded tits in her Red Bikini for Communism in Cuba.

Posted in:Bikini|Gemma Atkinson

2008

May

Tyra Runs a Fetish Show of the Day

3 Comments »

So Tyra Banks gets some dude who has some weird sexual fetish on her show. This dude gets off when girls stomp on him, so when he brings a girl home from the bar, he doesn’t try to stick his dick in her, he tries to get her to walk all over him.

So Tyra’s decides to show the public the dude’s fetish by 12 girls from the audience to walk all over the motherfucker and for a dude who gets off to being stomped on by 1 chick, this has to be like having a fuckin’ orgy. It’s on some paradise the suicide bombers reach with their 78 virgins or whatever the fuck they get, only in this case Tyra is god. It’s like telling her that I like blowjobs and I show up to find 12 everyday girls with their mouth opens ready to service me, only blow jobs would get censored from tv, but dudes who get of to getting walked on is considered fine for out kids to see. It’s a little backwards and part of the reason my wife won’t suck my dick, but would love to try walking all over me, she finds the whole concept fascinating after watching the show and her friend’s house and actually came home asking me to try it out but I won’t let her, partially because neither this fetish nor my wife turn me on but mainly because of safety reasons because she’s pushing 300 lbs and she’ll shatter my rib cage, make my organs explode and I’m not in the mood to di

Posted in:Fetish|Tyra Banks

2008

May

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

So I am getting fatter than I have ever been – mainly because I eat badly, drink too much and sit all day, while trying to think of something to write here, my last good pair of underwear just split in half when I stood up and that means that from today onwards, I will not be wearing any underwear. I feel like this is going to be pretty miserable for my couch and family, but it’s not my fauly that obesity has forced me to become a nudist. I feel a lot of shame.

Here are my links…..

Fergie Falls the Fuck Down
GO

Sophie Howards Tits Go to a Party
GO

Britney Spears and K-Fed Have Phone Sex
GO

Behind the Scenes of Becky Rule’s Sexy Photoshoot
GO

Sometimes, All It Takes Is a Smile
GO

Angela Marcello is Lookin Fine
GO

Some Petra Nemcover Sports Illustrated Video
GO

A Vintage Blonde Pubic Hair Sex Scene
GO

Phoebe Price Poses With Her Shitty Legged Enquirer Cover Photo
GO

How To Have Sex in a Parked Car, Because You Only Fuck Street Whores…
GO

Because It’s Not Really Fucking When It’s a Blow Up Doll
GO

Natasha Richardson Shows Off Her Old Lady Panties
GO

Army Girls Worldwide
GO

Some LA Club Sluts That Will Make You Want to Touch Yourself, If You Aren’t Already
GO

Whores Galore. That’s a Lot of Whore
GO

Britney’s Got Some Ratty Assed Hair….
GO

Catherine Bell by the Sea
GO

The 10 Hottest Celebrity Striptease Moments
GO

Vanilla’s Wife Beats Her Up Because He Realized She Married Vanilla Ice and Even He Can’t Deal With That Shit
GO

Elisha Cuthbert’s Vagina Slip in Her Bikini
GO

BBC Uses “TITS’ To Get Linked on a Blog
GO

Juliette Lewis Still Crazy As She Fucks the Stage
GO

Some Hot Chick from San Diego State University Lookin’ Hot
GO

Paris Hilton Peddles The Shittiest Products
GO

Rack to the Future – 9 Sets of Tits You May Have Forgotten
GO

Baltimore Raven’s Try Outs
GO

The Wizard of Ass
GO

Here’s a Pretty Hot Approach to Fashion Sites
GO

Find Great Porn
GO

Some Ugly Fuckin’ Girls in Lingerie
GO

Katherine McPhee is Looking Pretty Okay, Hillary Duff Not So Much
GO

Marilyn Mansons 13 Year Old Girlfriend Can’t Handle Her Booze
GO

If She Is Referring to Her Vagina, I Would have Gone With Old and Leathery
GO

Kate Moss Lingerie Shoot
GO

What Kind of a Crazy World Would We Be Living In If Every Amateur Shoot Was As Good As This?
GO

This is For You – Because This Helps You Find Sex the Old Fashioned Way
GO

A Dude on the Jury Gets Ready for Pot Trial By Getting Busted for Smoking Pot Outside
GO

Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pics from Cuba
GO

A Slut Gallery
GO

Hot Sex Scene in a Spanish Movie
GO

Veronika Simon is a Slut
GO

Jaime Pressly is in FHM
GO

Draino Bomb Goes Bad
GO

Gianna Lynn is a Hot Slut…
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Hairy Chick Who Likes Masks Naked
GO

Some Girl’s Perky Tits
GO

Some Slut in Some Posed Pictures
GO

Some Ugly Chick Crops Her Face on Sluts
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

May

Naomi Millbank-Smith Having an Upskirt of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Naomi Millbank-Smith having a standard upskirt moment when getting out of a car. Nobody cares about Naomi Millbank-Smith because she is a reality tv star, which is pretty much the lowest form of celebrity and to make things worse she wasn’t even a reality TV star in the USA and was on some shitty show in another country. So that’s why I decided to write John Tesh an email instead of writing about her. This is what I had to say:

Dear John Tesh,

I have been listening to your radio show for the last couple of weeks because I can’t afford a TV. I have found it to be a great mix of helpful advice and today’s best music and not only does it lift my spirits but I can also use your resourcefulness to better my life.

Since listening to you, I have drank about half the amount of booze I normally do, I have eaten about half the amount of food I normally do and have increased my water intake but you can’t take all the credit for that, my wife cut off the drinking fund she had set up for me because she listens to you too and apparently you don’t advocate hard drinking.

So now that I can’t afford the self-destructive luxuries I want because of your great advice, I feel like you are responsible for this misery. I know you have lots of disposable income and would really love a couple hundred dollars because I feel it will allow me to enjoy your work, without being mad that I am missing American Idol because I will be completely inebriated, instead of wanting to kill myself everytime it comes on as your soothing voice reminds me of how your impact single-handedly took the bottle away from me.

Keep up the good work, you are a legend in the making.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkneStepfather.com

Posted in:Naomi Millbank-Smith|Upskirt

2008

May

Diane Kruger Has Hot Legs of the Day

4 Comments »

Diane Kruger’s got some motherfuckin’ legs. I don’t know much about her other than the fact that she’s gotta be a model based on these motherfuckin’ legs but I could be wrong, it happens pretty much every day of my life.

I met a really skinny dude the other day, he was pretty much pushing’ 110 pounds because he was dying of Aids and he was lecturing me about how easy it is to pick up girls. He claimed that despite having Aids he gets pussy all the fuckin’ time, I just figured that it was because Aids bitches are easy since they figure everyone would be too fuckin’ scared to sleep with them so when someone willing comes their way they don’t say no, but he claimed that it’s because the weight loss has made his dick look exponentially bigger against his leg. Since he’s just skin and bone, when he gets a boner it’s thicker than his thigh and that optical illusion tricks all the bitches, that’s when he decided to drop his pants in brad daylight in the park to show me his fuckin’ hard on and that’s when I realized that he wasn’t a needle sharing Aids patient but was infact a fucked up the ass Aids patient so I bounced.

I guess I’ll just let you wonder if Diane Kruger’s skinny legs would make your dick look bigger, because wondering from your shitty house is the closest you’ll get.

Posted in:Diane Kruger|Legs