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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

May

Heidi Klum is Rockin’ Out in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I was served by the hottest lookin girl I had ever seen at a store today. Her face was flawless and I was wondering why she was working such a shitty job when she probably had the potential of making a hell of a lot more money if she just used her looks to get ahead. I was tempted to tell her how hot she was and how she should be doing something better than an 8 dollar an hour gig because I know way uglier chicks than her making 50,000 dollars a month just getting naked and doing lesbian shit online, but I wasn’t in the mood to socialize because I am socially awkward and always seem to say the wrong thing. Like this weekend, when I told a girl she was haggard in efforts to make her laugh before realizing that girls don’t find being called haggard all that funny. Anyway, this seemingly hot chick moved away from the counter she was hiding from and from the tits down she was obese. I am not talking a little obese like a girl who just needs to jog for a couple of months, I am talking fat camp obese and I took my food and walked away confused at what my brain just went through because this girl went from being smokin’ hot to being scary and fat in a matter of seconds and I just don’t have the capacity to process that shit fast enough.

Here are some pictures of Heidi Klum on the beach in a bikini which isn’t anything abnormal since we’ve seen her half naked over the course of her career, but I guess it’s safe to say that despite still being hot, she’s not where she used to be and I can only blame Seal for ruining her in more ways than just her post pregnancy body, if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Klum

2008

May

Elisha Cuthbert is Still in Her Bikini of the Day

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Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Elisha Cuthbert is still on the beach, but then again these pictures could be a couple of days old – I am not entirely on the ball when it comes to this shit. I have a few issues with the site, mainly that I could be getting sued for the use of copyrighted images despite taking down the images within 24 hours of receiving notice of who the pictures actually belong to because when I post them I have no idea who took them. I know this shit is repetitive and I am trying to figure out how to work around it, but there really is no way and as bigger corporations make their way onto the internet, running personal sites like this and running commentary on shit I find online is becoming harder to do. I don’t know what the future of the site is but I wanted to let you know that a lawsuit could be hitting soon and it’s kinda putting a damper on my day, kinda like how you feel after seeing your celebrity girlfriend who you thought you had a chance with because she’s not all that famous out in Hawaii with a richer more successful and famous dude than you, because you can be pretty sure if they are on a resort together, they are definitely havin sex with each other.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisha Cuthbert

2008

May

Christina Ricci Likes Chocolate Milk of the Day

4 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I guess Christina Ricci is pregnant, or maybe she’s just getting her period, or she could just like chocolate milk because she went out to the store specifically for that shit and it reminds me of days I have to take a shit and realize that we are out of toilet paper we steal from the local gas station’s bathroom, and I can’t seem to find any free flyers or newspaper, because let’s face it, when I am in the mood to shit I am not too concerned about the softness on my asshole, and all the old t-shirts and socks lying around are needed to wear out in public because people aren’t entirely accepting of a fat topless man yet so they can’t afford to be used to wipe my ass, I go run to the store to buy a single roll as a last resort and it is usually the only thing I am buying, but I sometimes try to make it less obvious by buying a pack of gum because I know the entire time the clerk knows that I am there with shit pokin’ out of my ass and about to explode all over myself and despite being a pig, I am still shy about shitting.

Either way, I like chocolate milk too, it’s kinda my comfort food of choice, except I like to spike that shit with vodka, so I get where Ricci is comin’ from in makin’ this trek all for the sake of chocolate dairy goodness to help fill the void left from all the pain that life has dished out on her and that she can’t seem to run away from because she used to try to fill the emptiness she feels and is constantly reminded of every time she looks at her prison tattoos and breast reduction scars that mark the worst choice she ever made in life because her big tits balanced out her big head nicely and now she’s just all disproportionate as she’s bobble-heading back to her car.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

May

Jessica Simpson Has One Hard Nipple in a White Dress of the Day

3 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Nothing says I am a loser like posting pictures of Jessica Simpson because one of her nipples is hard. I guess stealing 5 dollars out of my wife’s purse to buy myself a luxurious coffee from Starbucks to pretend I was am a baller for a group of high school girls was probably up there but at least I had the satisfaction of having them call me a fuckin’ pervert as I pointed to my drink and said – I picked this baby up for $5 baby, just imagine all the things I could buy you if I can be this irresponsible with my money by blowin it on iced coffee drinks. If I had known the outcome wouldn’t lead to positive self-esteem boosting attention I was hoping for, I would have just a 40 instead, it never lets me down. I guess girls today just aren’t as easily impressed as they used to be, I blame the media and Paris Hilton for giving them this distorted perception of the value of a dollar as they live their designer jeans, designer coffee, materialistic lives. There was a time you’d get a blowjob for buying a bitch an ice cream cone for 50 cents, not it’s all about gourmet dinners and bottles of champagne. Thanks MTV for ruining it for the poor man….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Nipple

2008

May

Nicole Scherzinger’s Panty Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

You know that whole theory that a girl is sexier in lingerie than naked. I never fell for that scam that I am convinced was issued by the lingerie companies to increase panty sales. I am not into leaving things to my imagination because as a drunk, I am too lazy to imagine things and kinda like my pussy straight up instead of having to visualize the many variations of what it looks like under a barrier of fabric. That’s why I always encouraged girls I was with to not wear underwear, Nicole Scherzinger wasn’t one of those girls and here she is flashing her panties, her really thick fabric panties that pretty much leave everything to the imagination because I can’t even make out what her junk looks like or whether it’s female or male junk, since everyone calls her a tranny because she’s fit and and that depresses as much as the days I used to jerk off to figure skating panty flashes because I live in Canada and it was the only thing on TV.

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|Panty|Upskirt

2008

May

Kim Kardashian is Fat Assed of the Day

7 Comments »

Kim Kardashian admits that she’s a fat lazy slob by getting laser cellulite treatment instead of going to the gym. I have been saying that she’s s a fat pig of a woman for the last couple years that she’s been in the limelight, but for some reason dudes out there still think she’s hot and has an amazing ass.

I decided to post this picture of Kim Kardashian in a fat person outfit because she is fat. Her ass looks like a doughy piece of shit that was left behind in a pair of my underwear after drinking too much one night. I know that I have no standards and you probably don’t either but I am not blinded by the fact that she has money and a pussy, and can accept the fact that this is not a hot ass and is a disgusting ass and I want you to be able to do the same thing, because until you do I will have trouble updating my site knowing that you cocksuckers are so delusional and desperate.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

May

From the Forum of the Day

2 Comments »

The forum is more popular than I am – which isn’t saying much considering I am constantly getting hate mail and no love, but I am glad that good has finally come from my years of evil or at least evil according to the girl who wrote an email to my webhost about shutting me down for being a threat to society.

Here’s what’s going on in the forum:

———Music———

Pre-Release Martina Topley Bird
GO

Pre-Release Tom Petty – Mudcrutch
GO

Spoon – Telephono
GO

Frank Zappa – Civilization Phase III
GO

Minus the Bear – Menos el Oso
GO

Komeda – What Makes it Go?
GO

Joe Lynn Turner – Undercovver Vol2
GO

Ringo Starr – Beaucoups of Blues
GO

Neko case – The Tigers Have Spoken
GO

Chris Whitley – Din of Ecstacy
GO

The Fixtape – Smoke on This
GO

Julian Lennon – Mr. Jordan
GO

P.S. I Love You OST
GO

Winger – In the Heart of the Young
GO

———Comedy Albums———

Robert Kelly – Just the Tip
GO

———Celebs———

Megan Fox
GO

carmen Electra Bikini Shots
GO

Carmen Electra Wallpapers
GO

Shakira – Shaking her Ass
GO

Sarah Michelle Gellar – Naked?
GO

Vida Guerra Cell Phone Nude Pics
GO

Britney Spears Video GIFs
GO

———Porn———

2 Chicks Feeling Themselves
GO

Fiddly Fingers
GO

Young Cute and Busty
GO

Preggers Video
GO

Now THATS and ASS!
GO

Choppie’s Ex-Girlfriends Semi-Nude Pics
GO

Stacy Bride/Dirty Aly BJ Practice
GO

Droppin A Load on a Pretty Face
GO

———E-books———

ALL the Dummies Books
GO

———Software———

MySpace Friend Blaster
GO

Motorola Phone SetUp Tools
GO

Paint Shop PRo 8
GO

More Wallpapers
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

Jumper
GO

———Sex Talk———

This Guy Wants to Bang Juliette Lewis
GO

Get in the Forum and help this man with his Preggo Fetish
GO

———video———

I wanted To Do Hood Rat Stuff With My Friend
GO

———Pics———

Scene Chicks
GO

Posted in:Forum

2008

May

Megan Fox Topless Pictures of the Day

10 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I got with a girl once who had the biggest tits. For the month it took me to finally get her topless, I would just stare at her tits thinking about how big and luscious they were. I remember her having the most spectacular cleavage and trying to look down her top every time she bent over.

One night when drunk, I managed to start making out with her. I slid my hand up her shirt and under her bra and started hunting her massive breast for what I was hoping would be perky little nipples because my fantasies had me believing that I was dealing with perfection and not the big tits that have big downward sloping nipples.

After my exploration, I couldn’t find any fuckin’ nipple, and I looked as hard as I fuckin’ could. I started panicking and decided the only solution was to get her shirt off, so I could see what I was dealing with and maybe my hand wasn’t communicating the right message back to my brain because I was drunk. So her shirt came off because I made her think I was going to suck her tits, her amazing tits were finally exposed and lookin’ back at me only they didn’t have any fuckin’ nipples.

Her shit stain was the same color as her tits and her nipple was inverted and shit looked a lot like what you see on a mannequin at the store. I was kinda thrown off and uncomfortable about the whole thing, but still fucked her, and discovered first hand that a nipple-less tit is an inferior tit no matter how nicely shaped it is.

These Megan Fox topless pictures remind me of that horrible night, but at least her pasties come off when she gets home to her 90210 loser boyfriend.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Pasties|Topless

2008

May

Bai Ling’s Tits on the Beach of the Day

1 Comment »

The good news about Bai Ling is that despite having little to do with her time, she still manages to find a way to show the world her huge dark nipples. I have never really had the experience of getting with a girl who has nipples like this and that’s probably a good thing because I know that any bitch packing a mini dick on her tits would use that shit to to prison rape me every time I cheat on them in hopes of getting with a nipple that is less like suckin’ a dick and more like being with a chick.

I realize that every other site that talks about her nipples are saying the same thing about her, but there’s really only so much you can say about a girl who manages to show her nipples more than any other person all while no one knows who the fuck she is or what she has done or is doing. It’s like every time she shows up to an event and finds herself not on the list because no one knows who she is, she manages to get in because the people working the door know they have seen her nipples on the internet and that must mean she’s someone and that her name not being on the list is just some kind of mistake.

Either way, if I like how despite having something she should probably be insecure about, like someone with 3 nipples who won’t take her shirt off in public or or someone with a retardedly large testicle who won’t have sex with girls becuase of embarrassment, Bai Ling still manages to bust that shit out like she doesn’t give a fuck about it, I think it could be a language barrier.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Beach|Bikini|Nipple

2008

May

Jennifer Aniston is in the Pool with John Mayer of the Day

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John Mayer is the sloppy second predator. He finds these recently broken hearted girls who are down on their luck when it comes to love and feel like shit about themselves, making them an easy target to bed. He is the rebound king, but probably doesn’t play basketball, because he spent most of his youth playing the piano instead like some kind of homo, a homo who no girls around him would have sex with cuz he was the loser music class all star and apparently that didn’t go as far as being captain of the school sports team.

The good news for him is that in his time alone he realized that to get over one guy a girl gets under the first guy that comes her way and as long as he is the first guy she gets under, he gets all the rewards of her previous sex-life with her longterm relationship she is just trying to get over. So he treats them all special and makes them laugh knowing that it probably won’t take up more than 6 weeks of his time and in those 6 weeks will get unprotected sex, anal sex and all the other things the last guy had to work hard to get the slut to do, all without any work because the girl he is dealing with is trying to get back at the last dude.

I know that Jennifer Aniston’s last long term relationship was 3 kids ago, but she’s still raging on the inside and you can tell by how hard her nipples are for her stand-in cock, until Brad Pitt realizes that leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life and comes crawling back to her, which probably will never happen, but does happen in her mind everyday as she plays out that fantasy over and over.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|John Mayer|Nipple