I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Apr

Vanessa Hudgen’s Jogging Pants are Riding Low of the Day

Vanessa Hudgens isn’t necessarily a slut, she’s more of an exhibitionist who took a few naked pics for some guy she wanted to get jerking off to her and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and clearly, in fact, I encourage it. I guess Disney feels the same way because they didn’t fire her but then again, Disney doesn’t seem to mind teenage pregnancy either so I guess they are just evolving with the times and know a good publicity stunt when they see one or maybe even stage one.

Here she is in some sloppy sweat pants that remind me of my shit I wear because I’ve pretty much given up on exterior appearance and jogging pants were always what the poor weird kid who always got a boner and never showered wore in high school even after constantly getting “pantsed”, so I am just trying to dress appropriately, it’s my kind of uniform. So I’ll never fully grasp when it became acceptable for anyone to wear these things outside of gym class, especially when those people are chicks you’d all fuck if she gave you the time of day. The good news is that she’s kinda pantsing herself and that’s good enough for me, but I am easily impressed like that.

Posted in:Jogging Pants|Underwear|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

04

Apr

Gisele’s Ass in Some Jeans of the Day

Nothing says creepy pervert like standing across the street from a girl and watching her either put things in or take things out of her car in hopes to get a good look of her ass, except for maybe following a chick from the bar home and climbing her fire escape to watch her either drunken masturbate or have a booty call while you sit there jerking off like you’re watching some kind of live-action porn. It’s on the same level as watching a girl shopping at the mall and seeing her reach down for the perfect bikini or watching her model it for her friend before buying the perfect one. It’s like peaking into the curtain-doored changing rooms to watch them change without getting caught or even like hanging out at the bottom of open-backed stairs and watching girl walk up and down the stairs.

These are some pictures of GIsele putting things in or taking things out of her car and you can see the top strap of her panties, and those panties are actually touching her pussy,which must be pretty exciting for someone who has never seen a vagina….but is probably not all that exciting for the rest of the world. I call it the process of desensitization, like when I used to get a boner holding hands with a chick or seeing her in a bra and now I can barely get hard for a hot girl on all fours with a finger on her clit, begging me to stick it in, but I still try and thats all the matters to me, even if it turns out to be the worst sex for her. Let’s face it, I am not trying to impress anyone.

Posted in:Ass|Gisele Bundchen|Jeans

2008

04

Apr

New Kids on the Block Together Again of the Day

People love the New Kids on the Block. Here they are making their first public appearance at the Today show, dressed in suits instead of like the fags they used to and I assume that all the middle aged women out there have their dildos out celebrating this whole New Kids reunion and this is going to go on for the next month until NKOTB release their song and perform live. I am pretty sure that this has tapped into their youth in a way that nothing ever really has, not even the night they hit the bong like they were in high school and that when they go home tonight after working doing whatever 35 year old women do, they are going jump their husbands like it was their wedding night and that is the power of New Kids on the Block.

When I was about 16 and pretty fresh into the country, I was banging a fat chick. I was fuckin’ her because she was always ready to bang, always had food in her fridge and can be credited as being the reason that I continued to fuck fat chicks well into my 30s, because fat chicks are always willing to fuck, in fact she is probably the reason I am the mess I am in today after marrying a fat chick when I should have just taken her out for donuts, we’d both be a lot happier now….

Either way, she made me go to the New Kids on the Block Hanging Tough tour with her and her little sister. It was my first concert that I had ever gone to and I actually had a good time. I was familiar with some of their songs and sang along with my patent leather shoes but that was before knowing it was gay as fuck and that I deserved to get beat up by the jocks everytime I wore a New Kids on the Block t-shirt to school. Realize that I had never seen pussy in that quantity of that quality screaming and cumming their fucking pants for a bunch of guys. In my mind I had just been like a terrorist after suicide bombing a school walking into the promised land of 15,000 – 20,000 virgins and in my mind New Kids on the Block will always be some kind of god to me……

Posted in:New Kids on the Block|Reunion

2008

04

Apr

Marla Maples and Her Boy Toy on the Beach of the Day

So Marla Maples is pretty much only famous for being breaking up billionaire Donald Trump’s marriage to Ivana Trump after getting knocked up at 20 years old by him and shotgun marrying him before having his baby, making her pretty much set for life.

The good news is that the 45 year old uses her free time, which she has a lot of, because when you’re set for life after letting a billionaire cum in you back in ’84, you don’t have to get a job waitressing to pay the rent like you would have if you hadn’t used your young kinda hot at the time, powersuit wearing looks to get ahead, and by get ahead I mean trick a billionaire into marrying you after flipping the condom inside out and impregnating your 20 year old womb.

But she can use all that free time from being rich by association to go to the gym like it was a full time to stay fit for her 31 year old reality star from The Bachelor named Andy Baldwin, because holding onto your youth is a something most chicks want, but normally can’t pull off because oreos are just too damn good.

Either way, here are her abs in her bikini with her younger boyfriend who obviously sees a golden opportunity just like his girlfriend did back when she was his age. They do have so much in common….

Posted in:Bikini|Boy Toy|Cradle Robber|Marla Maples

2008

03

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

A lesbian who claims to be a lipstick lesbian left this comment:

“Lesbians may not be cool enough to fuck you, but when they let you watch them go at it, they are are better than all the other girls who don’t fuck you.”

Um, pardon me, fuckface? Not *cool* enough to fuck you? Maybe you’re not cool enough to be fucked by anyone, lesbian or otherwise. Maybe women are actually doing you a favor when they actually condescend to fuck your tiny, shriveled dick.

I decided to reply to it and this is what I wrote:

I am sure you aren’t a lipstick lesbian and the truth is my dick looks a lot like a clit, my ass smells like rank pussy and i am hairy with fat man tits – so you’d probably love me. I look like a what ever bull dyke wishes she could be. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to hate on me….and you should instead set up a time for us to a coffee and by coffee I mean get me pregnant like that bitch I saw on Oprah since we’re kinda built the same.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are a whole lot of links:

Jenny McCarthy Calls Bullshit on CNN
GO

Watch This Girl Change Outfits and Imagine Touching Her
GO

Web Boobs in Slow Motion, Click This Link…You’re Still Reading This? Why Are You Still Reading This? CLICK THE LINK…..
GO

Naomi Campbell Got Arrested Again For – Wait For It – Assaulting a Police Officer
GO

Kirsten Davis’ Pokies Are About As Exciting As Her Too Hairy Bush
GO

I’m Starting to Find Normal Sluts More Attractive Than Celebrity Sluts
GO

Tila Tequila is a Slut and Here is One of Her Videos
GO

Lohan Looks Pretty Hot Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock. I want to fuck her – She Wants to Fuck Kanye
GO

Impress Your Friends With This Card Trick, Cause the Only Thing Gayer Then Being a Virgin is Being a Magician
GO

Heather Mills is a Master of Disguise but She Can’t Hide Ol’ One Leg…
GO

You Moved Out Of Momm’ts House and Sold Your Action Figures. Time to Find a Girlfriend
GO

A Bra Made of Bacon Would Last About 4 Seconds on My Wife
GO

Porn Galore
GO

Megan Fox Arrives in Vancouver
GO

Kate Moss Is OUt With Her Kid, Lookin’ Fine
GO

So Bobby Brown is Saying He Never Did Cocaine Until He Met Whitney…Hmmmmm
GO

Rob a Delivery Van, and Then Give Me Some of Whatever Is Inside
GO

Use This to Get Laid
GO

Stop the Press!! Britney is Wearing a BRA!
GO

Fix Your Facebook and Myspace Photos in Photoshop So You Can Try and Get a Date
GO

Drunken Slut Get Owned
GO

Irina V is the Girl Next Door
GO

Dita Von Tease Topless Body Paint
GO

And Now, The Climax
GO

Look Down Kelly Brook’s Shirtand See The Tits She’s Hiding….
GO

Here’s a Look into The Hottest Taco Latina Porn on the Internet
GO

The Best 10 Videos of Chicks Getting Spanked
GO

Hot Bikini Car Wash Pictures
GO

Possibly One of the Creepiest Myspace Music Pages
GO

Some Vintage Betty Page Erotica that Was Once Illegal and Now Doesn’t Even Give Boners
GO

Some Weird Dirty Chick Video
GO

Some Classy Chick Drinkin’ a Beer With Her Pants Off Video
GO

Some Nasty Fat Wal Mart Clerk Lookin’ Women Trying to Be Seductive…..Video
GO

A Weird Masturbation Video….
GO

Asian Girl’s Pubes Get Caught on Fire
GO

Hot Chick Born with 2 Vaginas….
GO

Girls Make Sex More Fun. True Story
GO

Well, It’s Official, Mellissa Joan Hart is Never Going to Be Hott Again
GO

Drunk Girls Getting Down to Daft Drunk in Panties
GO

IF Poker Is Anything Like This Photoshoot, Then It Looks Like I Am Taking Up a New Hobbie
GO

Naked Olympic Qualifying
GO

Some Cartooons I Thought Were Cool
GO

Ciara in a Tight Pink Dress
GO

Some Olsen Twins Bikini Pics
GO

Some Foreign Blonde Chick Flashin Her Shit
GO

Catherine Fulop is in a Blue Bathing Suit
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Asian Nudity
GO

Some Amateur Nudity
GO

FROM THE FORUM

First Concert You Ever Went To?
GO

Programs to Rip Mp3s
GO

Snoop Dogg Leftovers
GO

Run, Fat Boy, Run
GO

A Google Joke Which is Funny
GO

The Hips and Thongs Thread
GO

Anal Masterbation Habit
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

03

Apr

Janice Dickinson is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

Janice Dickinson makes me feel like an asshole for jerking off to the geriatric aquarobics class at my local community center when there are elderly women out there who still look better than the younger chicks I’ve seen naked.

I know she’s had a lot of work done and is pretty much 80 percent made of plastic but shit’s working for me. Sure her ass is sloppy and her skin is leathery but if you saw the 50 year old bitches who I’ve been with, you’d think of me in a totally different way, or maybe you would expect it from me, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that what it comes down to is that old ladies are easy, willing, experienced and can’t get pregnant because of their dried up wombs, pretty much the perfect situation to have, except for the grey pussy hair, impending smell of death and most importantly the constant harassment of making sure I didn’t want another freshly baked cookie after eating 6.

Here is some more Janice Dickinson bikini action because she hasn’t died of heat exhaustion like my 60 year old neighbor did last summer during the heat wave and that’s worth celebrating….

Posted in:Bikini|Hot|Janice Dickinson

2008

03

Apr

Hulk Hogan’s New Pussy of the Day

Tanning expert Hulk Hogan has a pretty good deal. He’s sitting on a fat bank account while all the other trash from Tampa who he grew up with are collecting welfare checks or working shitty jobs to pay for their shitty trailer park homes. Now he decided to take the attention away from his rich brat of a son’s almost murderous car accident by staging a divorce from his useless ex-stripper lookin wife, who pretty much let him do whatever he wanted before the accident because she doesn’t want to lose that meal ticket. But now he gets to do it in public and that makes fucking new pussy all the more exciting.

Anyway, in making their story more believable he’s gone out and got himself a girlfriend who looks like she could be his illegitimate daughter with another stripper he spent his first wrestling check on 30 years ago, which would explain why she’s so fuckin’ clingy. It’s one of those “daddy where were you all my life, you asshole, but I am so happy to have you back in it, because mommy fucked so many dudes during that period of her life that we never knew we’d track him down, but sure glad we did because it turns out you have lots of money you’ll be forced to leave to me cuz of genetics” situation, only this time instead of the usual giving her the last 30 years of birthday and christmas gifts that most dads who get tracked down with paternity test technology, he’s giving her his cock.

She’s ugly, has fake tits and looks like an older version of his daughter and younger version of his wife, making Hulk feel like he’s living the good life he could only dream of back when he was growing up wrestling alligators at Busch Gardens..before he was the Hulkster….

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Hulk Hogan

2008

03

Apr

South Park Makes Fun of Youtube Internet Celebrities of the Day

This is a bit of a mess of a clip from South Park because it’s all over the fucking place and confuses the fuck out of me and ends in pretty fucking weak way, but I am posting it anyway because Internet celebrities are the biggest fucking joke out there.

People make retarded videos in hopes of being the number 1 YouTube video just for the sake of being the number 1 YouTube video and don’t get paid for the loss of their dignity but just increasing traffic to YouTube making other assholes a whole lot richer while they go back to their lonely one room apartments.

Sure Tron guy got a TV commercial and used the money to move up from a studio apartment to a 2 bedroom, Chris Crocker moved to Hollywood and was let into trendy clubs, Laughing baby went on to a life of hardcore porn, Afro Ninja got dragged behind a pickup truck in some kind of hate crime and Star Wars Kid died of a heartattack while eating a Poutine in his French Canadian home town at the age of 17, but for the most part these people are just ripped off by the mainstream media and never see a penny…while making other people rich. The genius of user generated content because everyone wants to be famous.

Most of the people in this clip are pre-youtube internet famous and were just videos emailed around as an attachment, but it’s safe to say they are probably the reason youtube was created, they just aren’t recognized for that.

I guess I shouldn’t talk, since I do internet bullshit for no money but I guess since no one reads the site and my top viewed stepTV was by 10 people, it’s safe to say that I’ve never inspired many people to get rich so I feel like a less successful Tron Guy but that’s probably just because he’s got a better body than me and you people are so fucking superficial….

Posted in:South Park

2008

03

Apr

Mena Suvari In a Thong Bikini Showing Off Her Ass of the Day

Lesbian haircut Mena Suvari doesn’t seem to be a lesbian anymore, at least that’s what she wants us to believe by over compensating with some dude on the beach by being all touchy feel with her public displays of affection. I would say rent a room but I never do that because I am more into watching like the creep that I am.

I don’t know how they do things on whatever planet she’s from, but I am hoping the next set of pictures have her on her knees with homies dick in her mouth, but I still have a feeling she doesn’t roll like that and by that I mean with penis, since dude looks like he’s putting on some shitty performance while she’s not having that and is just going along with it to get the girls she’s attracted to go back to her room with her. I think this pretty boy is just some kind of bait to get pussy in her mouth but then again I could be wrong, I was never a huge fan of fishing.


She was in a thong on the beach the other day also – you can see it here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Mena Suvari|Thong

2008

03

Apr

Angelina Jolie’s Sexy Photoshoot When She was 16 of the Day

It’s no lie that I think teenage girls are hotter than middle aged 20 something girls. They have tighter bodies, perkier tits and they don’t annoy you about going to dinner parties, having babies or moving in together, they are just excited enough to hang out with you when it’s not a school night.

This is a video of Angelina Jolie doing some kind of photoshoot when she was 16 for some kind of pervert that was unfortunately not me because I don’t mess with taking pictures of girls who need parental consent, it just causes too many problems when the police steal my hard drive, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to have been there watching from the closet, because that’s kinda my thing.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Photoshoot|Sixteen