I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

29

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email:

i know freud was full of shit but this is a great moment from your leann rimes post.

and i quote:

It’s a lot like that time you let a dude suck my dick for coke and I am not judging because one slip up doesn’t make you a fag.

This is what I said:

“I let a guy suck my dick for coke” but realized that exposing my inner most secrets were sad and not funny, so I changed it to that to see if anyone would catch on. I have this problem called not editing but I am glad you noticed, you’d win a prize because it turns out that I also suck dick for attention to detail.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are my links….

Papa Joe Shows Off His New Russian Singin’ Slut
GO

I Don’t Know Her Name, But She Is In A Bikini
GO

Let’s Give It Up for the Bikini Crew
GO

George Clooney’s Girlfriend Is a Slut. Way to Go Clooney!
GO

Alessia Merz Has No Top On
GO

Experience Sex Like You Never Have Before… With a Chick!
GO

Hello Jenny Milstead
GO

3 Girls naked in a Tent
GO

Are You Poor Like Me? Turn Your Old Underpants Into a Bra for Your Mom
GO

I Don’t Car Much For Soccar, But I Like Ads for It With Hot Chicks
GO

Eva Amurri is a Bit of a Butter Face but is Half Naked
GO

Hayden Airs-Her-Panties in a Short Red Dress
GO

Bobbi Ballard Has Got Some Big Fucking Cans
GO

Jail Bait Musical 3!!
GO

Stripper Workout Fun
GO

Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Double the Fug
GO

Get Some Exercise with Sex Doll Swimming
GO

Watch Live Sex Show on Your Computer
GO

Seduce a Girl By Being Funny. God Knows Nothing Else is going for You
GO

This is Polish Idol
GO

Make Good Use of Your Weekend Days Off. Watch Some PORN!
GO

This Sexy Chick is Working Out at the Gym
GO

Some Bad Dates You Can Prolly Relate To
GO

Heather Locklear Lookin’ Tasty
GO

And Now, Some Vibrator Pleasure
GO

I Don’t Know Who Julieta Prandi Is, But I Think I Need To Find Out
GO

Sled of Doom
GO

Here’s One Too Watch Again and Again
GO

And Now Some Rhianna
GO

Danielle Llloyd is Naked. Again. Yawn.
GO

Lauren Conrad Showing Of Her Hills
GO

Kate Beckinsale Gives Boners To Virgins…
GO

Hot Chick With a Loser
GO

College Girls Make Out
GO

Sophie Monk Looking Hott
GO

The Very Sexy Sonia
GO

The Greatest Celebrity Sex Scandals that Weren’t
GO

Ricki Lake Gives Birth Completely Naked in a Tub…Yeah…Ricki Fuckin’ Lake Naked….
GO

The Sexiest Teenaged Indian in America Posing
GO

Gisele is Skinny and Hot in a White Dress
GO

Lohan to Star in a Movie About Charles Manson
GO

An American Apparel Model Speaks Out on the Pervert Who Runs It
GO

Eating Out a Cow is Probably one of the Weirder African Traditions
GO

Some Gymnast Chick Does Her Routine With No Panties On
GO

Miss Howard TV Prefers Anal Sex To Regular Sex
GO

Some College Chick Gets Her Ass Licked for the First Tme
GO

Man Faces Charges For Having Sex With a Table
GO

Mishca Barton’s Cellulite is Hot
GO

Some Chick Posing in a Bikini Video
GO

Jennifer Leigh – Vegas Poker Player – Does Playboy
GO

Jaclyn from my Comments Does a Video Interview
GO

Jenna Jameson Looks Like Death
GO

The President of Some European Country Thinks Muslims are Taking Over and Makes a Movie About It
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Hot Trashy Chick Posing
GO

Some Photobucket Vagina
GO

Black Dripping Vagina
GO

More Vagina on Photobucket
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

Evanescence – Fallen
GO

New Found Glory – Greatest Hits
GO

Beach House – Beach House
GO

The Lost Boys Score
GO

Adobe Audition
GO

Trailer Park Tycoon
GO

Billary Clinton
GO

Denise Milani Has HUGE tits
GO

Lets Count to 100!
GO

Vote Jaclyn to Be Paris BFF
GO

Lovely Arse
GO

More Lovely Arses
GO

Young girls with Big TITS
GO

Video of your Grandma doing porn
GO

Do you like Hair Pulling?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

28

Mar

Pam Anderson is a Slut on Late Late Show of the Day

I always wondered what that shit stain on Pam Anderson’s arm was. It looked like a hand print from rough sex with a rockstar and just figured it never heeled because bitch has hepatitis and her immune system is too busy trying to keep her liver alive to heal battle wounds from being a slut, but it turns out that she was attacked by leeches when she was a kid.

I still think that line is a fuckin’ lie and the only reason she brought it up and made an excuse about it is because she is defensive and knows we all know she got it from sex but for some reason doesn’t want us knowing that she’s some kind of pornstar than doesn’t do porn professionally, because she’s a mother and needs to maintain some kind of wholesome image, proven by the tame outfit she’s wearing, her retarded fake tits, bleached hair and her gaping vagina.

I can relate to her trying to cover shit up. I remember when child services, the police and my wife’s doctor confronted me about the bruises all over her body and I stuck to my story she fell down the stairs. I know it wasn’t all that creative and that every wifebeater uses that line, but figured that they’d buy it because any real wifebeater would come up with something more believable. I made sure my wife backed up my story otherwise I’d never let her live it down and it worked so we lived happily ever after, except for the happy part.

Watch the video and try not to focus on her plastic face falling off because that’s what her tits are for.

Posted in:Leeches|old|Pam Anderson|Slut

2008

28

Mar

Some St Patrick’s Day Strippin’ Snuff Film of the Day

Here’s some youtube snuff flim that was shot for Saint Patrick’s day where bitch is singing some Schwayze tune while stripping into her underwear. I can only assume that this girl’s gone missing because the creepy behind the camera has taken her into the basement and raped and killed her because that’s just the vibe I am getting from the shit, but at least her last moment on video was one spent in her panties while slutting out drunk. It’s a legacy with more meaning than that bitch who invented the xray machine, at least by my standards, which we all know are pretty one-sided and perverted.

Posted in:St Patrick Day Stripper

2008

28

Mar

Maria Sharapova Hustles Dudes in the Hospital of the Day


Lookin’ at these pictures of Maria Sharapova make me think that the only reason everyone wants to fuck her happens while on the tennis court, because all the other chicks she plays against are bull dykes. I don’t find her as hot as I once did, because I guess I am easily influenced by the media too and it looks like she’s turned her visit to the Children’s Hospital to cheer up sick kids into some intro scene to a porno as her horny tennis vagina went straight for the surfer lookin’ backstreet boy and not for the pasty bald kid with Leukemia. I guess she’ll take frosted ratty Effron hair on a dude she know will jerk off to her as soon as his broken leg heals than some vomiting kid trying to play with blocks but not being able to muster up the energy to actually build anything cuz the chemo is just too hard on its little weak body. I’d say that at least she’s out there doing something good for the public, but it’s safe to say that she’s just thinkin’ with her cock, like the time I went to a car wash with my friend to support some High School graduation and slipped the girls an extra 25 dollars to do shit in their bikinis. I am sure they had a great graduation but I am sure it wasn’t as great as my car wash was.

Posted in:Maria Sharapova|Slut

2008

28

Mar

Whoopi Goldberg Talkin’ About Her Wet Panties of the Day

Whoopi Goldberg has always been the kind of woman that I don’t consider a woman. She’s manly and disgusting and has about as much sex appeal as a piece of shit left by my wife in my toilet because she’s too fucking lazy to flush. I know that to some of you, you’re lack of a sex life all these years would make my wife’s shit something you’d be willing to fuck, but you’re not the norm and the average person would throw up when coming face to face with that shit. Either way she’s talking about really hot stuff like menopause and how wet her panties are and it was a disgusting moment in TV that I felt you needed to watch.

Posted in:Menopause|Panties|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

28

Mar

Leann Rimes Has a Gay Husband of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So it looks like Leann Rime’s husband is more ladylike than she is. The reality is that girls love gay dudes and they dream about their gays that they shop and get the hair done with were straight on the regular, because they are just the best kind of guy there is. So when a gay denies his sexuality in exchange for living in the limelight with glamorous lifestyle with all the designer clothes, spa days and fancy dinners his gay hearts desire, it makes sticking their dick in a pussy a hell of a lot easier. It’s one of those close your eyes and hope for the best kind of things, with a major upside. It’s a lot like that time you let a dude suck my dick for coke and I am not judging because one slip up doesn’t make you a fag. I have always been in the school of thought that if push comes to shove and it’s a matter of survival, people have to do what they have to do and we all have the capacity to do things we hate doing. It’s the same reason people work shitty jobs to get buy or marry a slut they hate cuz her disability checks pay the rent. I guess repressing your sexual orientation for the acceptance of your family, or for the fabulous lifestyle only a successful country singer can give you, is worth it but since you’re too scared to follow your heart you’ll stick to jerking off to gay porn the rest of your life and never actually biting the bullet, and by bullet I mean random cock in the bath house, because like Leann Rimes’ boyfriend it’s easier to play straight even if you have a deep rooted need to dance.

The paparazzi made me take the pics down, but found one of them here
GO

Posted in:Gay Husband|Leann Rimes

2008

28

Mar

Audrina Patridge Gets a Tattoo Cuz She’s Hardcore of the Day

Audrina Patridge is hanging with the wrong crowd. Her candy coated rich kid upbringing kept her on the rich side of the tracks. You know with tennis lessons and summer camp and luxury cars and now she’s trying to give the finger to her family by hanging with some big breasted, tattooed, lesbian biker chick. In trying to keep up with her new crew, she’s decided that the only way to get respect from them is to go out and get a gang tattoo on her wrist, potentially the best club slut place to get a tattoo, the only thing worse than that shit is if bitch gets it in white ink and it’s a playboy bunny or the Chanel logo or some stupid saying in another language or some shit, like every stripper dreams of getting. I guess it’s not her fault she’s trying harder than the rich Jewish girl I met getting pierced and changed out of her Jewish Girl outfit of the day, and rocked leather and tight jeans like it was halloween and she was actually hardcore and not a spoiled brat. The only hope we have is that the needle is tainted and she gets herself some AIDS and the good news is that she’s enough of a slut to make that happen on her own, without dirty needles. Either way, she’s got good cleavage so stare at it a bit, like you were there…..

UPDATE Ashton Kutcher’s stupid show can’t lure anyone high profile to fuck with the media and this is his genius idea of tricking the media into writing about some no name d-list slut so that he can get the last lame laugh. If this is a segment on the show, dude needs some better writers because I am not posting it cuz I care she’s getting a tattoo, I am writing it cuz her tits are busting out of her shirt….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|cleavage|Tattoo

2008

28

Mar

Miranda Kerr Funny Picture of the Day

One of these things is not like the other or some shit and that is why this picture made me laugh. It’s got pretty much nothing that you’d want out of a picture of a swimsuit model, like her wearing some bag-lady clothes in some stupid pedicure sandals she stole for the Korean nail lady but there’s a fuckin’ midget in the background and whenever I see midgets I always get excited. I think it’s because I used to fuck around with a midget chick when no other girls wanted anything to do with me and she was always eager helping my non existent self esteem. The other thing that helped my self esteem when rollin’ with her was how my dick always looked so big in her little midget hand. It made me want to join the circus and never get with regular sized girls ever again because I couldn’t deal with their judgmental ways, but instead I ended up with a girl 3 times my size and now have to live with my mistake for the rest of my worthless life. I guess the good news is that I will always have pictures of Hayden Panettiere to remind me of what once was…..

Posted in:Midget|Miranda Kerr

2008

28

Mar

Sienna Miller See Through Dress of the Day

I like Sienna Miller and I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because she seems like she’s stuck in some kind of time warp and doesn’t realize that she’s not a hippie trying to protest the war while running through a wildflower field in her expensive designer hippie clothes and unwashed hair while liberally using her nipple for change, or maybe it’s because I know she’s some kind of party girl who probably takes it up the ass because she’s not anal in the bad way. Either way, I am hungover and this shit is peaceful to me, but then again, any girl in a see-through dress is therapy for the life I’m livin.

Posted in:Nipple|See Through|Sienna Miller

2008

28

Mar

Simona Fusco’s Got Tits of the Day

I posted on this nobody in a bikini a couple of days ago and I seemed to have missed her tit pics. I figure that all you really care about is seeing her tits and that you’ve already taken her pics to photoshop in efforts of erasing the bikini in them, so these pics aren’t news to you because you feel like you’ve already been there and done that.

I guess they aren’t really news to me either, since she’s pretty much a fuckin’ nobody, but I am going to post them anyway since tits are tits, except when those tits are attached to a fat chick, then they are just the better yet still disgusting bi-product of overeating, while the other bi-product of overeating is big stinky shits, which are usually not all that fun unless you are into fecal art…then that shit is your palette…literally. Yeah I suck today.

Posted in:Simona Fusco|Tits