I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

23

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Pregnant Tits of the Day

I love how all these fuckin’ virgins get all excited when a pregnant chick shows up with her cleavage exposed because her tits are miraculously bigger. It’s like seeing a teenage kid who just hit puberty on the beach amongst girls in bikinis. Their excitement makes no fuckin’ sense to me, maybe it’s because I know the condition her pussy will be in in 9 months, or maybe it’s cuz I don’t like lookin’ at fat chicks with big tits because I don’t like fat tits or maybe it’s because big tits usually mean sloppy asses. The truth is that getting off to a pregnant chick is some twisted shit and a losers sport. I have a hard enough time fucking a hooker knowing she slammed a guy an hour before me so thinking about a dude beating me to the prize and the proof is showing in her fat uterus that I am trying to cum inside really messes with my head.

The good news is that despite how twisted I am and how much I enjoy watching girls breast feed their babies in public, I can die knowing that I am not as sexually fucked up as I am accused of while all these other sick seemingly normal virgins fucks are jerking off to knocked up Brazilian bitches and I’m at home watching Brazilian tranny porn, because there’s nothing more normal than watching a hot chick with a dick getting sucked off by another hot chick.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant|Tits

2008

23

Apr

Academy Award Winning Three 6 Mafia’s New Sexy Video of the Day

There’s nothing I like more than seeing a group of hip hop stars who have won an Academy Award come out with a legendary tune with such inspirational lyrics like “I like having sex but I’d Rather Get Some Head”.

The video is filled with a bunch of half naked sluts showing off their asses, simulating sex and doing all things strippers do and that’s fine by me. I figure if I was a band all my videos would be pornographic, it’s really what the people want to see and Hip Hop is all part of the reason little white girls are suckin’ dicks in the back of their boyfriend’s mom’s BMW X5.

Posted in:Music Video|Porn|Three 6 Mafia

2008

23

Apr

Natalie Portman Gets Pissed on By a Dog of the Day

Everyone loves Natalie Portman and here she is getting pissed on. It’s like some virgin loser trying to mark her as his territory because he’s obsessed with her and doesn’t want other virgin losers getting too close, only in this case, it’s just a dog who doesn’t give a fuck about her and figures that her ratty ass coat smells like something that deserves to be pissed on. I guess this is funnier than seeing a bitch get shit on by a bird, but it’s not as funny as seeing me piss on Natalie Portman. The truth is that despite being willing to piss on this bitch, I don’t really give a fuck about this bitch, she bores me and when everyone talks about how hot she is it makes me question my sexuality a little, even though I’d be willing to piss on any bitch.

Like this past weekend, I was hanging with some really sleazy guy, who has orgies with his buddies and fucks any pussy that comes his way and dude would freak out even over the most average bitch. I am talking girls who look like moms with big mom asses or teenage girls who hadn’t hit puberty yet. He was on the prowl and every single girl who walked by was a fuckin’ b-girl or worse. Every time a hot girl would walk by and I’d tell him that that’s the kind of pussy he should be staking out, her would say something about how they only want money and designer clothes and are snobby bitches. So I spent the day watching him cat call chicks who looked like dogs and it made me go home thinking there was something wrong with me, because when I get my creep on, I try to make sure it’s for someone worth creeping on where he was just into anything with a pussy, that’s when my fat wife waddled into the room and I realized that I guess I shouldn’t judge him, considering I really have no fuckin’ standards, even though I pretend I do when I am out in public…..

Here’s Natalie Portman getting pissed on…..

Posted in:Dog Piss|Natalie Portman

2008

23

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Working Out of the Day

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian having a much needed workout.

I guess the truth hurts because she’s actually taking it to actually exercising. The funniest thing about these pictures is that I’ve been calling Kim Kardashian a fat pig for the last 6 months and I continuously get hate for it, but the second Paris Hilton says bitch has cottage cheese legs, she starts working out like some kind of high school girl who got a nose job cuz the pretty girl said she had a big nose. It’s some low self esteem shit that would explain the emotional eating of ice cream that got her in this situation to begin with and reality is that she should have been doing this long time ago, but all you cocksuckers encouraged her to eat more and said her fat was hot and that if anyone thought otherwise, they were into little boys, but it just took those cutting words from someone she thinks matters to get her off the ice cream.

What that means is that Kim Kardashian, along with the rest of the world, values Paris Hilton’s evil words more than they value my evil words, even though she is a stupid, useless cunt. Society tells us to listen to people like her, who have money and celebrity, that’s why the politicians are trying to get as many endorsements as possible, including Heidi Montag, a bitch who is worth less than her fuckin’ breast implants, while the assholes like you and me, who are probably much better suited to make statements about reality since we don’t live in a fuckin’ fantasy, are expected to worship the cocksuckers and everything that comes out of their mouth. They are even trying to get us to jerk off to them in their sex tapes, trying to infiltrate us from all angles, even in the fuckin’ porn we watch despite us knowing they suck harder than regular porn and not in a good way, we still watch because they are rich and known. I guess it’s all part of the brainwash process.

But at least someone’s finally put this fat ass whore to work…..

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Working Out

2008

23

Apr

Megan Fox With a Fox of the Day

I am not some kind of art fag and I generally don’t make commentary on the way someone takes a picture, makes a video or whatever the fuck takes some level of artistic vision, because I honestly couldn’t care less. But when I look at these pictures of Megan Fox with an actual fox, I get offended by the lack of thought that went into the fuckin’ picture. I wonder who set up this fuckin’ shoot, maybe it was a 3 year old consulting the photographer saying “Fox” and pointing to a picture of a fox while he knew he had to shoot Megan Fox and was like “why didn’t I think of that” or some shit. The truth is I fuckin’ hate literal images, like videos that pretty much explain what I am lookin’ at or listening too like I am some kind of fuckin’ retarded kid in a helmet running into the fuckin’ wall.

The only time this kind of thing would be acceptable is if they had Jennifer Lopez posing with a migrant border jumpin’ beaner cleaning her hotel room, or maybe a Paris Hilton video of her in a Hilton Hotel that they were about to implode in order to build a new state of the art building because it’s old and haggard, but that’s just cuz I think her time’s expired and we need a new one. I guess it’d be ok if there were pictures of Miley Cyrus posing with 300 Iranian dudes named Cyrus and by posing I mean being jerked of on by….

Either way, here’s Megan Fox with a Fox and an example of the shittiest creative vision in this photoshoot.


A reader sent in a video of his song and it pretty much sums up what I’m saying…..
GO

Posted in:Fox|Literal|Megan Fox

2008

23

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

Jade from yesterday’s stepLINKS wrote me back:

This is what pisses me off. I admit that I like sex. Why do I have to be looked down upon in society because I believed it when guys told me they loved me and were instead showing their friends the pictures and videos of us? My senior year of high school I slept with about 60 guys, including our school’s PE teacher. Does that make me a slut?
I really don’t think guys would have done this if they weren’t so influenced by pop culture and other stereotypes. These guys love to “hit it and quit it” because they think it makes them cool.
I’m disappointed that you have this website because I can tell by your writing that you are a very intelligent person.

This was my response:

Jade,

Are you going to send me those pics and videos or not. I am kinda losing my patience/interest and the truth is I love sluts….even if they’ve banged 60 guys in one year during highschool. I don’t even know 60 people. You should really get paid for your hard work.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Here are my links:


Some Hometown Hottie Chick Named Christina Dancing With Her Massive Tits
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Huge Tits and No Make Up Still Make her a Slut
GO

The Best 30 Seconds of Your Day
GO

These Party Sluts Won’t Look At You in Real Life, But At Least This Way You Can Look At Them
GO

Some Penny Cruz Nude Scenes From Her Upcoming Flick
GO

Lindsay Lohan is a Jealous Lesbian
GO

Carmen Electra Gets Chicks to Do Upskirts For Her
GO

Long Hair to Pull
GO

Your Girlfriend Always Fakes It, But Here’s How to Find Out For Sure
GO

The Girls of Deal or No Deal Shake Their Asses
GO

And While You Look At Them, WHy Not Jerk Off in the Process?
GO

I Guess I Have More in Common With Monkeys Than I Thought
GO

The World’s Largest Breasts
GO

A Lorna Van Herde Photoshoot
GO

Julie Orden is a Natural Beauty
GO

Some Hot Celeb Chicks Hang Out at a Boring Party
GO

Find Girls Who May Fuck You
GO

Heather Mills Used to High Class Escort
GO

Kim Kardashian Wipes the Skank Off
GO

Emily Rossum Lookin’ Good at Some Bullshit Fashion Party
GO

Liz Hurley is Lookin’ a Bit Over the Hill, But Still Bangable
GO

Speaking of Bangable, Here’s Christie Brinkley and Her Daughter
GO

Naked Unknown of the Day
GO

Madonna’s Jail Bait Daughter is Going to Be Hot in a Year or Two
GO

I Swear I Get Hynotized By Ass Shakers
GO

Tampon Tea is the Next Japanese Delicacy
GO

Some Porn, Because I Love You
GO

Your Mom Sent Me This From Your Last Sleepover. Homo
GO

Today’s Lesbian Fantasy
GO

Ali Lohan to Follow In Her Very Talented Sister’s Footsteps and By Talented, I Mean Slutty, Drug Addicted, Mess
GO

That’s Right Baby, Bend Over
GO

Iveta Stares Out the Window, While You Stare at Her
GO

I Want to Punch Tila Tequila in the Face, But Here’s Some Pics of Her Anyways
GO

The Lovely, Lovely Lucy
GO

The Olive Garden Chicks Are Actually Going to Pose in Playboy
GO

The Tyoe of Secretary I Dream of Making Love To. Until Then, I Am My Own Secretary and Make Love to Myself
GO

Some Russian Politician is Marrying This Hot Bitch
GO

Stacy Dash in Playboy
GO

Some Cougar’s Flickr Pics (must sign in to see)
GO

Designer Gas Masks By Paris Hilton
GO

Sandee Westgate’s Juno Review Cuz Sluts Know What Teenage Pregnancy is All About
GO

Miranda Kerr Does Catalog Pics
GO

I ruin Hipster Social Climbing Slut’s Lives and Their Sexual Relationships with DJs
GO

Top 12 Sandra Bullock Movie Titles That Describe Her Recent Car Accident
GO

Redskins Cheerleaders Do Cricket
GO

Some Soon to Be Drafted Sports Dude Named Sam Kellar and His Hot Girlfriend’s Personal Pics
GO

Some Girl Posted a Bullshit Breast Implant Story on Youtube
GO

My Plastic Surgeon Homeboy Posted His Response to Her Lies Because He Can’t Let Her Ruin the Breast Implant Industry
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Nasty Tits and a Pussy
GO

Some Slut Being a Slut in Her Slutty Clothes
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

BONUS – Some Daily Show Obama Action for Primary Day….

Part 1 –

Part 2 –

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

22

Apr

Jessica Simpson Sluts Out With Food of the Day

I never really incorporated sex into food, except for the occasional time I convinced whatever girl I was with to shove a beer bottle in her cooch, but that always took too much energy and insertion shit is pretty gross cuz you don’t know where the fuck the found object came from and seeing a condom on anything makes it look ridiculous and unsexy, especially when that anything is a bottle, food, or whatever the fuck bitch is shoving up in her.

My wife recently wanted to bring food into our sex life that I like to think is non-existent but sometimes I fuck up and give into my natural urges, but in all fairness food’s not so much a fetish for her, it just seems like more of a hobby she really digs, so the food is only licked off each other when she spills the shit and can’t let a morsel go to waste. I wonder if that’s how you spell mosel. It’s a pretty gay word.

Here’s Jessica Simpson singing for her love Tony Romo on his birthday, where they playfully make a mess out of the cake with each other and make out with their mouths full. Having a filled up mouth is a pretty common scenario that Jessica Simpson is use to because it’s the only way her boyfriends can shut the bitch up, because whenever she talks it makes them question why they are doing what they are doing until taking another glimpse of her tits.

This whole thing makes me thing of Nick Lachey and their wedding that ended in misery, but then again, everything makes me think of Nick Lachey, he’s so dreamy…..I guess that gay started with the word morsel and built up to this. I’d apologize but why bother….no one’s reading this anyway….

Posted in:Cake|Jessica Simspon|Slut

2008

22

Apr

Chanelle Hayes Is a Slut of the Day

You really have to respect a girl like Chanelle Hayes. No one knows who the fuck she is, but I’m still posting her because she somehow managed to slut herself onto the internet by dressing like a slut. I have nothing but respect for a girl who knows her worth and who also knows just how easy it is to get semi-famous and make more money than being a receptionist just by wearing little clothes and looking like she sucks dick all the time. Guys are easy to win over and that is why these feminists in turtlenecks and combat boots need to back the fuck off because they are selling themselves short and in doing that they are also manipulating other girls to sell themselves short by making them feel guilty for playing the system. Sure they can take the traditional route of climbing up the corporate ladder the traditional way, but life would be a hell of a lot easier if they just got naked and they’d make a hell of a lot more money doing it. Any girl who makes less than 100,000 dollars a year and who is semi-attractive is a fuckin’ idiot because if life is really about the hustle of earning money to live a better life there are ways to make that happen and all your dreams can come true, you just need to rework your idea of integrity.

Watch Some Comedy Sex Tape Video with Her and a Puppet for MTV that Is Kinda Funny….
GO

Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|Lingerie

2008

22

Apr

Fergie is in a Bikini Again of the Day

I think it’s great that Fergie was able to pull her vagina out of the gutter, get off drugs, get out of debt and now have the money to buy anything she wants but doesn’t have to buy because companies are throwing the shit at her for free. It’s always been one of life’s weird dynamics, where companies want celebrities to promote their brands so they give them tons of product even though they can afford the shit while poor people they are marketing their shit too have to work their asses off for a month just to be able to afford a pair of fuckin’ sneakers they want. I guess it doesn’t matter, but is part of the reason why I’ve decided to make myself famous.

The bad news for Fergie is that despite her rise to the top, she forgot her face in the gutter and looks about 15 years older than she is. She’s like one of those kids I saw on Maury who had that disease where they age at hyperspeed and die of old age by the time they are 5. Her fake fiance will be in for an interesting surprise in a couple of years when he’s stuck dealing with a bitch who looks 75, and for his sake I just hope her pussy isn’t on the same course, because despite how sexy some 75 year olds are, their vaginas are pretty fuckin’ disgusting and smell like moth balls. At least that’s the story I heard…..

Posted in:Bikini|Fergie

2008

22

Apr

Jodie Marsh Does Cleavage of the Day

Jodie Marsh is another one of those sluts who doesn’t mind being a slut because she realizes that it pays more than being a prude who works at the local dinner and dies at 40 when she decides to hang herself because she’s 10,000 dollars in debt from an unnatural crotchet addiction and she feels so alone in this scary world. Her life could have been saved had she spent that 10,000 dollars of credit on a pair of fake tits, 15 years earlier, but instead she took the sad path. It’s one of those what if situations where you look at your life and wonder how different it would have been had you taken a different course, only in this case, that conscious decision isn’t really an unknown but her moral Christian upbringing just skewed her from making the right decision….

Either way, I was at the strip club, this slut was all trying to get me to get a dance with her and I pawned her off on my friend, who ended up rejecting her. I told her that if she was really serious about getting a dance, all she had to do was tell us “I want to grab your tits”, it’s this psychological thing where guys walk down the street everyday wanting to grab every tit they see, but girls never just offer it up, they play all hard to get and take work and when at a stripclub we don’t want to have to put ourselves out there, we want shit handed to us but for some reason strippers try to retain their dignity and in doing that end up rejecting my advice, call me and asshole and move onto some other sucker. I know that I can’t say no to a girl who asks me to grab her tits and I assume you feel the same way and that my advice was sound, but unfortunately for the slut she just didn’t value my opinion so fuck her. Here’s Jodie Marsh with her retarded cleavage.

Posted in:cleavage|Jodie Marsh|Tits