DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

05

Nov

I am – Kelly Brook Promoting Her Lingerie of the Day

The thing I find funny about Kelly Brook promoting her signature lingerie line is that she’s not wearing any of it at the launch, instead she’s standing with models who are uglier than her in the lingerie. It’s some kind of fat manager shit that you see in bars, where the hot girl surrounds herself with table scraps so all the motherfuckers come up to them because they are the prize in the group. I don’t really understand why hot girls are way more fucked up than ugly chicks, but I guess it’s worth the pain you go through, because fucking a hot chick is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at when fucking than an ugly chick, even if that ugly chick over-compensates by giving the best head in the fucking world, and the hot chick refuses to suck dick and just lies there like she’s getting her hair done, it’s some psychological shit that you can’t get with an ugly girl, where the entire time you’re giving yourself high fives in your head for landing such a dime because you know the best you should be getting is the ex heroin addict who works at your 24 hour convenience store but you somehow ran enough game to get the prize….and whenever you win it’s a fuckin celebration, but you wouldn’t know anything about that and either would I because I suck at life.

Related Posts:

Kelly Brook’s Bikini Ass
Kelly Brook’s Upskirt

Posted in:Hot|Kelly Brook|Lingerie|Promoting|Unsorted

2007

03

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I realized I had a drinking problem according to the average person a long time ago, when I start drinking, I just don’t stop believing that I can keep drinking. I always just ignored the voice in my head that would tell me I am going a little too far because I don’t believe in problems. I think that you should do what you want when you want as long as it isn’t hurting anyone but yourself.

Admitting you have a problem is some weak victim bullshit cry for hugs and group therapy and it’s a lot of pressure because you always think that you need to fix the problem even if the problem is fucking awesome to begin with and I don’t like putting any pressure on myself and who the fuck cares if I am a binge drinking alcoholic other than the people I lash out on when drunk and maybe my liver when he cries me to sleep every morning…..

Either way, for some reason I’ve been going to bars with no drinks in me and within about 5 minutes I drink about 6 shots and it’s like my mind just opens up and my brain’s like “let’s roll”. Sometimes I hate what happens when I am drunk and look back on all the stupid shit I could have prevented, but I never apologize for my actions, because I don’t believe you can take back shit you do or say and sometimes when drunk you say some pretty hurtful shit to people around you. The good news is that I realize that booze has put me in situations and places a sober man would never venture, like into some bad vaginas but with experience comes wisdom. So booze in a lot of ways, booze is like my formal education.

It’s Saturday night, it’s daylight savings time, bars are open for an extra hour so drink your fucking faces off… I’ll be thinking about sobering up tomorrow, but right now, I’m going on another drunken adventure.

Here are my links from yesterday. I’m a little slow lately.

Some UK Big Brother Chick Named Emma Greenwood Has a Vagina Slip
GO

Obie Trice New Tune 2 Baby Daddy Leaked…Listen To It Because It’s Fucking Good.
GO

Adam Carolla’s Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion Video With Nudity
GO

How To Wake Someone Up
GO

Spice Girls New Video With Some Tit Action But Mute This Shit The Song Gave Me Aids.
GO

Watch This Video Of People Watching a Scary Movie in the Theater…
GO

Some Chinese Dude Jerking Off in Public
GO

Amy Winehouse Does Macy Grey at the VMAs Video – If You Haven’t Already Seen This…See It….
GO

Jessica Simspon With Some Good Cleavage Lookin’ Good at Some Macy’s Event
GO

Lohan’s Boyfriend Gives Her a Shit Colored ‘Stache
GO

Britney Wants to Fuck Kim Kardashian
GO

Crazy Rock Paper Scissors Game in Japan
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Britney Spears Pulling Down Her Pants
GO

Kim Superhead Steffans Says Bill Maher Only Likes Girls He Can Put Down
GO

Hayden Panettiere Cries for Dolphins
GO

Japanese Gyno Video That Makes No Sense To Me
GO

Jordan Lookin’ Good at a Book Signing
GO

Some Girl Seducing the Camera With Her Tits….
GO

Mirror Reflection Prank Video
GO

Kate Moss in December’s Vogue
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Some Chick Named Leighton Meester Dressed as a Slutty Flapper….
GO

Best Fight Scene Video
GO

Som Girl Deep Throats a Balloon…Too Bad I Think She’s a Man
GO

Nicole Richie Still Hasn’t Got Her Abortion
GO

Bikini Car Wash Video
GO

Some Royal Bikini Poll
GO

Some 50 Year old Catholic School Principal Was Arrested for Hookin’ in Women’s Clothes
GO

Some Cam Girl Dances and Shows Off Her Vagina…
GO

Tila Tequila Tit Video
GO

World’s Best Ass Contest
GO

Kathie Lee Gifford’s Got Some Tits
GO

Tupac Assassination Documentary
GO

Some Chick Ties Her Vagina Together
GO

This Cam Girl Has a Stripper Pole in Her Bedroom…If You Go Home With a Chick and She Has a Stripper Pole…Marry Her…
GO

Some Nicole Narain Playboy Pictures
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Bai Ling in Her Underwear
GO

Kim Kardashian Bullshits About Her Friendship With Paris
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The Hills are Doing a Casting Call for the Heidi/Spencer Wedding Because the Show is Real
GO

Photobucket Dirty Porn…Like Really Fucking Dirty Porn…
GO

More Photobucket Nudity
GO

Jerry Springer is Lookin’ For You
GO

A Little Hardcore Delights Action
GO

Use This Spray To Get Laid Because We All Like Sex
GO

From the Forum:

Watch The Puberty Pals
GO

Download the May 2007 Playboy PDF
GO

Download Some Pictures of Girls With Tattoos
GO

Download Daft Punk Discovery Album
GO

Download Rage Against Machine – Live Rare Album
GO

Download Daft Punk – Alive (limited edition)
GO

Download this Amateur Couple’s Sex Tape and Pictures…AMazing
GO

Some Lesbian Couple’s Homemade Pictures
GO

Random Amateur Pictures Thread
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

03

Nov

I am – Princess Stephanie in a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

So I got really fucking wasted and it was fuckin’ messy. I don’t remember much more than a whole lot of shit talking and meeting a group of people from Australia who were amazing. One of them was this little hot Hilary Duff girl who I was trying to seduce with my drunken conversation but ended up fucking it up because I am easily distracted and got some girl who claimed she was 15 to stick her tongue in my mouth. She was jacked on blow and her tongue tasted like shit, but I did it because I had no choice. It was my duty.

On the walk home, I decided to stand outside a chachi bar and talk to my people, because me and chachi motherfuckers are cut from the same cloth. After being blown off by every single one of them, I decided to tell the world how Montreal is filled with losers. Lucky for me, I was next to Mr Strong Mafia Guy, who must have been the ambassador for the city, because when I walked by him and told him he was a Montreal piece of shit loser, he told me to fuck off, so I said that I’d fucking kill him and he went fuckin’ crazy. I guess Junior Mafia Guido and his 240 lbs of muscle doesn’t like when short fat motherfuckers tell him they are going to kill him, because he fuckin threw down his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt while his slut of a girlfriend tried holding him back saying shit like “if you do this I am leaving” and other really dramatic things that her stupid brian managed to put together. I am glad I made their night more exciting. I like to think of myself as some kind of Santa Claus who brings joy to people’s lives every time I leave my house. This is all batting practice for stepTV 2008 baby.

Princess Stephanie is kinda like Santa Claus too, only instead of gifts she brings an old body in a bikini and on days like today, that’s just as good. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Princess Madeleine Bikini Pictures
Little Princesses Morning Reflections that Scare Me

Posted in:Bikini|old|Princess Stephanie|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger's Got Tits of the Day

No Comments »

People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.

Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Rihanna’s Got No Make Up on of the Day

2 Comments »

I like Rihanna and I am not 100 percent what it is that I like about her, but she’s got something going on. Maybe it’s the fact that she can sing and every time I see a girl rock a mic like it’s my penis I just imagine what it would be like to hear them sing while banging. I’ve never really had a chick willing to sing when we fuck, but if I had ever found out, I wouldn’t know what my playlist would be, but I know it’d be hot. It’s like watching a girl dance and knowing exactly how she fucks. I was out last night with this girl I know who dances like a fucking pornstar fucks. She shakes her ass in ways that makes her the hottest fucking girl in the room and all I can do is stare while imaging her dancing on my face. The shit drives me so crazy that I have no control over going up to her and trying to grab at her ass like it’s mine and that never goes over well and usually ends with me being escorted out by security or by her boyfriend trying to fight me.

I also met a hot girl last night who I was chatting up until her favorite song came on and she ran to the dance floor, only to bust the lamest dance moves I had ever seen. It was like her feet were strapped to cement blocks while she wailed her arms around and humped the air like a frat boy humps inanimate objects to make his boys giggle like the school girls they wish they were.

Either way, Rihanna isn’t wearing any make-up and it is refreshing because my most recent turn off is girls who paint their faces up like they are some kind of clown and it’s birthday party time. I realize halloween was a couple of days ago and shit, but when I see the shit crusted to their fake tanned faces, I can’t help but laugh to myself, knowing they spent hours doing that shit to themselves and for some disillusioned way think they actually look good when in reality they look like Lionel Fucking Richie, all night long.

Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Hot Shiny Legs
Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead Cleavage Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna Bathing Suit Pictures

Posted in:Hot|Make-Up|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Rihanna's Got No Make Up on of the Day

No Comments »

I like Rihanna and I am not 100 percent what it is that I like about her, but she’s got something going on. Maybe it’s the fact that she can sing and every time I see a girl rock a mic like it’s my penis I just imagine what it would be like to hear them sing while banging. I’ve never really had a chick willing to sing when we fuck, but if I had ever found out, I wouldn’t know what my playlist would be, but I know it’d be hot. It’s like watching a girl dance and knowing exactly how she fucks. I was out last night with this girl I know who dances like a fucking pornstar fucks. She shakes her ass in ways that makes her the hottest fucking girl in the room and all I can do is stare while imaging her dancing on my face. The shit drives me so crazy that I have no control over going up to her and trying to grab at her ass like it’s mine and that never goes over well and usually ends with me being escorted out by security or by her boyfriend trying to fight me.

I also met a hot girl last night who I was chatting up until her favorite song came on and she ran to the dance floor, only to bust the lamest dance moves I had ever seen. It was like her feet were strapped to cement blocks while she wailed her arms around and humped the air like a frat boy humps inanimate objects to make his boys giggle like the school girls they wish they were.

Either way, Rihanna isn’t wearing any make-up and it is refreshing because my most recent turn off is girls who paint their faces up like they are some kind of clown and it’s birthday party time. I realize halloween was a couple of days ago and shit, but when I see the shit crusted to their fake tanned faces, I can’t help but laugh to myself, knowing they spent hours doing that shit to themselves and for some disillusioned way think they actually look good when in reality they look like Lionel Fucking Richie, all night long.

Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Hot Shiny Legs
Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead Cleavage Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna Bathing Suit Pictures

Posted in:Hot|Make-Up|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Paris Hilton Getting Mad at a Sex Shop for Having her Posters Up of the Day

1 Comment »

This story hit at some point last week. Paris was at some sex shop in Toronto and she demanded they take down her posters because they are disgusting and threatened to call the cops and her lawyer. You know what’s disgusting? The fact that you let that loser videotape your bad sex, only to sell the shit and make a lot of money off it. I am guessing she thought that shit would have died down, since the sex tape is almost 10 years old, so when she did it, it all made sense and helped launch her career and isn’t happy that her dirty little past is still following her around. I am only posting this because it just landed in my inbox and I thought it was pretty fucking ridiculous.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Porn Shop|Sex Tape|Unsorted|Video

2007

02

Nov

I am – Pink Wearing Pink of the Day

No Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Pink is so clever in the way she dresses because she’s wearing pink and her name is Pink. It’s like the time she dyed her hair pink like the raver she claims she was. I think I like that she’s wearing pink because it makes her ditch pig face believable because pigs, like Pink are pink.

I was trying to get home last night from being drunk and the whole street was in lock down. The media was there and about 15 cop cars and 30 cops. I asked the guys to interview me as a star witness because when I am drunk, I feel lying about crimes I didn’t see for the local news make for good times, but they didn’t want to bother with me. They did tell me that the crime all these cops were there for was because a cop shot a dog. Some homeless dude’s dog bit a female cop and she pulled out her gun and shot it. I tried to move into the scene to get my own video of how ridiculous the whole thing was and a cop got fucking aggressive with me. He was french and yelling at me to get the fuck away from where I was standing and I just said that I was lookin’ for my daughter’s dog and I wondered if he had seen in. That’s when I realized that dog killing cops have no sense of humor and motherfucker tried to arrest me.

Either way, Pink’s a fucking dog and should be shot. Here are her pics.

Related Posts:

Pink Does Lady Things
Pink is a Man in a Leotard
Pink Likes to Fly
Pink is a Man in a Bikini

Posted in:Man|Pink|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Sophie Monk with Cunts of the Day

No Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I hate stating the obvious, but the Madden brothers are cunts so I am not going to go much more into that because they say it all for themselves in the music they produce, the tattoos they rock and every time they leave their houses, but at least the other twin landed a quality looking girl, because the legs on Sophie Monk drive me bananas. The other thing that drives me bananas is that hot girls generally don’t know what’s up and are always with the cheesiest fucking typical dudes. I’ve been going out to a lot of these trendy bars over the Halloween week because they let me in and there are a bunch of slammin’ sluts in this city, but all of them hang with dudes that drop quotes from movies and songs as jokes, who buy bottles of “Goose” and who dress like every other motherfucker you see while dancing like the Chris Brown music video they used to learn how to dance from. The girls listen to radio music and Top 40 and get excited when songs they recognize from watching MTV hit and take 100s of pictures of themselves and their crew for Facebook. I don’t really know why hot chicks are generally lame as fuck, but I can only assume it’s because they’ve been told they are hot for their entire lives, they have all these assholes who are too stupid to not hit on them running up to them non-stop and buying them whatever they want, so they’ve become lazy. They know they just have to look pretty and get everything they want, so they don’t need to bother knowing what good music is or what funny is or what’s up because they’re having a good enough time reaping the benefits of good genetics.

Either way, I still love hot chicks because ugly chicks don’t really exist to me, they kinda just blend in with the background, expect for my wife, who took up the entire bed last night and every other night because she’s Queen Sized and we only have a Double.

Related Posts:

Sophie Monk’s Boyfriend is a Cunt
Sophie Monk is Wasting Her Vagina
The Good Charlotte Wives
Sophie Monk Getting Ready for Christmas

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted